Chapter 19.
There are certain things in life that you need a girl friend for, and getting ready for a dance is one of them. Seriously, trying to get ready for a dance alone is akin to performing brain surgery or attempting to scale Mount Everest. Okay, so maybe it wasn't quite that drastic, but it honestly felt pretty close.
Now my first ever college semester was over, my finals finished, and I was going to a dance with Luke--the first dance we'd been to together in years. And we were still in that awkward, hanging out as friends phae where I kept wondering, 'Are we, or aren't we, a couple?'. It was completely overwhelming.
Which was why I found myself calling in reinforcements the morning of the dance, after practically shoving Luke out the door and instructing him to hang out with Dylan while I got ready for the dance and did "girly things."
The phone rang only twice before Madison picked up, her voice chipper as she answered. "What's up?"
"Madison, hi," I said, heaving a sigh of relief. "Are you busy? I'm trying to get ready for the dance, and I could really use a girl friend right now."
On the other end of the line, I could practically hear the smile splitting Madison's face. "Does this have anything to do with a certain handsome young gentleman that's staying in your room?"
"It might," I hedged. "Plus Kelsey usually helped me with my hair and makeup before dances, so I'm in over my head here."
"Okay, well, why don't you bring your dress to my apartment, and we can get ready there? That way, we don't have to worry about your she-devil roommate tormenting us."
"Thank you," I said. "You're a lifesaver."
After a quick goodbye to Madison, I hung up the phone and walked over to my closet, pulling out the garment bag that held the dress I had bought with Dylan. I found a pair of strappy black heels to match it, then headed over to Madison's apartment.
When I got there, I headed up the stairs to Madison's second floor apartment, knocking gently on the door.
"It's open," she called, so I pushed the door open, walking in and draping my dress across the chair.
Madison was sitting at the kitchen table, her face covered in a pea green face mask, carefully arranging a very extensive nail polish collection on the table.
"Lilly, hey," she said, smiling up at me. "I figured we could start with face masks, and then mani pedis. As you can see, I already had a head start when you called, but we'll get you caught up in no time."
Once my face had been smeared with the cool green goop, Madison instantly started in with the girl talk.
"So, what's going on with you and Luke?" she asked, arching her eyebrow suggestively. "Are you two getting back together?"
I shrugged, feeling a pang of frustration at the uncertainty of it all. "I don't know," I admitted. "We've been spending some time together, yes, but we haven't really discussed it. Honestly, it's really confusing. I'm not even sure if anything could work out between us. He lives in Ohio now, and I'm in Florida. We're at completely different places in life."
Madison pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Okay, well, let me ask you this: do you want things to work out between the two of you?"
Again, I shrugged, feeling more than a little foolish to admit that I had no idea what I wanted. "I've liked hanging out with him again," I admitted. "I was feeling pretty isolated when I first started college, and reconnecting with Luke has helped ease that somewhat. But I'm not sure if that's just because Luke and I have history together, and we're good friends, or if it means I still have feelings for him. I'm just so confused."
Madison smirked. "I ask you this as your friend, sweetie, because I know you can be a little dense about these things, and as an ex-girlfriend of Luke's, I can attest to the fact that he's not always great at spelling out his feelings. Have you been going on dates with Luke? Dinner? The movies? Spending tons of time one on one? Kissing? Because, if so, I can tell you that Luke probably thinks of you as his girlfriend. He doesn't usually kiss his female friends, unless he has feelings for them."
I understood what Madison was getting at, but that didn't really clear anything up at all. What counted as a date? Guys and girls could be friends without being romantically involved, right? Of course they could. Dylan and I were prime examples of that.
"It's complicated," I hedged. "Is having our own version of Cupcake Wars considered a date? Because we did that, plus hang out with Dylan a bunch. And we went to that party I got drunk at. Plus the dance tonight. So, maybe? I mean, we haven't done anything super romantic. And technically, we did kiss once, but it was because I kissed him, and that was only to make Dylan and Avery jealous. Plus he told Avery he was my boyfriend, but again, it was to discourage Avery from throwing herself at him."
"Okay," Madison sighed. "I can see why that's a little more complicated. But it does kind of seem like he likes you, so you should think about whether you want a relationship with him. If you don't, it's not really fair to lead him on and make him think he has a chance of getting back together with you."
I nodded. "I'll think about it," I promised. "And I'll talk to Luke about it. I think I'll feel a lot better knowing for sure either way what his intentions are. I don't like this weird gray aera we're in right now."
"So," Madison said, gesturing to her nail polish collection. "What color are you thinking? What color is your dress?"
"My dress is red," I said, pulling a bottle of nail polish off the table that was about the same color. "This would match."
"Red, hmm?" She wiggled her eyebrows at me, and I burst out laughing, because I'd thought people only did that in movies. "Luke has always had a thing for red dresses."
I frowned. How had I not known that? Somehow, the entire time I had dated Luke, it had never come up. "Huh," I said. "I didn't know that. Actually, Dylan picked it out."
Madison choked on air at that, gasping for breath. "Umm, what?" she asked. "When did Dylan start picking out your clothes?"
I eyed her warily. "Why is that a big deal? We went Black Friday shopping together, and he saw it in the display window and convinced me to try it on. I didn't model it for him or anything."
Madison looked at me skeptically. "You and Dylan are just friends, right? Because I'm supposed to be going to the dance with him tonight, and I don't want to step on any toes."
My jaw dropped, and I gaped at her, unable to form words. Madison and Dylan were going to the dance together? They had dated years ago, long before I had met Luke or Dylan, but I hadn't realized they even talked anymore. Somehow, the idea of them going to the dance together bothered me more than it should. I guess I should just be grateful it wasn't Avery. At least Madison and I were friends.
"Yeah, we're just friends," I managed, once the shock had worn off. "I'm happy for you."
The words, while strictly true, felt...off...somehow. Maybe it was because Madison was kind of like the older sister I'd never had, and Dylan had always treated me like his little sister, so the two of them together would be like watching my siblings make out. Eww. It was just a little weird. Still, if it made them both happy, who was I to judge?
"Are you sure?" Madison asked, still watching me carefully. "Because you don't seem totally convinced.
"I'm sure," I insisted. "Dylan and I have only ever been friends."
The next couple of hours were devoted to getting ready for the dance. Madison worked her magic, curling my hair and taming it into an elegant style, helping me create a tasteful makeup look that was more complicated than my usual bit of neutral eyeshadow and mascara, and painting my fingers and toes a deep red that matched my dress. By the time she was finished and I had slipped into the beautiful dress, I felt like a princess.
"Wow," Madison said. "Dylan has excellent taste. Who knew?"
"You should know," I teased. "After all, he's taking you to the dance."
"Very true," Madison agreed with a smirk.
She looked stunning herself, wearing a dark green dress with a sweetheart neckline that hugged her curves in all the right places. I wasn't usually a fan of green dressed, but this one looked like it was custom-made for Madison, and it looked incredible on her.
Just then, a knock sounded at the doro, and Madison opened it, revealing Dylan and Luke, both sharply dressed in dark suits.
"Wow," Luke said, his eyes sweeping over me appreciatively. "You look...wow."
He gulped, seeming at a loss for words, and I giggled. "That bad, huh?" I teased.
Dylan swept into the room, cool and confident as ever. "What my meatheaded cousin is trying to say is, you look nice," Dylan said, shoving Luke playfully. "Madison, you look beautiful," he said, approaching his date and slipping a white corsage over her wrist.
Madison smiled playfully. "You clean up okay yourself," she said.
Luke slipped a red rose corsage over my wrist. "Dylan told me your dress was red," he said. "I figured this would match."
"Thank you," I replied, feeling a little awkward.
"Shall we, ladies?" Dylan asked, guiding Madison out the door of the apartment. Luke offered me his arm, and I grabbed it, allowing him to walk me out the car.
When we arrived, the dance was already in full swing, with dance music blaring too loudly out of the speakers and many of the attendees seeming to be under the influence of alcohol. Somehow, I had expected this to be more like the high school dances I had attended, and was reminded yet again that we were no longer kids, and things weren't at all the same as they had been.
Before Luke could ask me to dance, Madison dragged me over to a group of her friends, and we danced in a large group to an upbeat song. It was fun, and before long, I found myself relaxing and enjoying myself, forgetting about how awkward I felt not knowing for sure if I was actually on a date or just hanging out with an attractive male friend. With Madison and her friends, that didn't matter, and when Dylan and Luke joined us a few minutes later, I was grateful that Madison had recognized my discomfort and had stepped in to ease my nerves.
When a slow song came on, Luke tapped me on the shoulder. "Care to dance?" he asked.
I nodded shyly, and he pulled me in closer to him, placing his hands on my hips as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. Together, we swayed to the music, and when I closed my eyes, we were back in high school, dancing at the homecoming game, and it was like no time had passed between us. But when I opened my eyes again, and saw the grown up version of Luke standing in front of me, I was reminded that we were two very different people than we had been back then. He had changed, and I had too. Maybe the two of us would develop a new relationship, and maybe we wouldn't. But either way, I wasn't ready to jump right back into a relationship with Luke. Not a romantic one, at least. I needed to be friends with him first. To make sure that we even had anything in common.
Luke tenderly brushed a curl that had escaped its bobby pin and fallen into my face back behind my ear. "This is nice," he said, smiling at me. "I've missed you, Lillian."
"I've missed you too," I admitted. And I had. Luke had been my first ever boyfriend, my first love. You never really forget that.
For a moment, I wondered if Luke was going to say something more, if he was finally going to put a label on whatever we were. But before he could say anything, someone tapped me on the shoulder.
"Mind if I cut in?" a sugary sweet voice cut in. I whirled around to find Avery smiling victoriously at me.
"Actually, I do mind," Luke said, pulling me closer to him, his arm coming around me in a protective manner.
"Well, it's actually pretty important that I talk to Lilly about what time she's planning on leaving tomorrow."
I glared at her. "Why is that any of your business?"
"Because," Avery said, speaking slowly, as though she were addressing someone too stupid to understand her words. "I'm supposed to ride home with you. I'm staying the holidays with you and your father."
Suddenly, her victorious grin made perfect sense, and I realized with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that Avery had somehow managed to take over yet another aspect of my life.