I remember when I was a little girl,
and my mom would sit my sister and I down
on the bathroom toilet on Sundays,
and twist out our kinky locks.
With the stereo playing Al Greene's "Love & Happiness" from her bedroom,
she'd part our hair into clear sections
with a bit of Softee Indian Hemp and fix them apart with a rubber band until it resembled an aerial view of sectioned fields.
Although I didn't appreciate it nearly as much as I do now, looking back, it was a special time between mother and daughter that I associate with memorable conversation and stomach aching laughter.
My sister probably remembers this time less fondly as she was dubbed tender-headed.
This meant every brush or comb through her head was greeted and followed by a wail of sorts that, to an unfamiliar ear, would caution a retreat.
But to a mom who too experienced sitting on her momma's toilet with kinky, coily hair, this merely signaled for a different tactic, including increasing the volume of Al and/or getting the barrettes and knocker blocks to signal that it was almost over.
Our history is rich with fascinating stories about how our ancestors used hair to express themselves and tell stories.
Thorough out history, hair has often communicated things like age, marital status, ethnic identity, religion, wealth, and rank within the community.
But above all, for me, hair was a simply bonding tool.
On that toilet I learned about frustration and humility, grace and strength, and pride and self love. And it is on that same toilet, I will one day teach my beautiful nieces and nephews the same values to pass along to the next generation and the significance behind barrettes and knocker blocks.