*AUTHOR'S NOTE*
HELLO!!!! I know, you all hate me. But you're going to hate me even more once this chapter is done. Woohooo.
FOR ANYONE STILL CONFUSED: Stockholm Syndrome- a psychological thing where the victim, in order to survive, feels that they need to empathize with their captor if their life is threatened. They have positive feelings towards the captor because if they didn't, they think that in their own they wouldn't survive.
WARNING: triggers, I think.
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Eyes On Fire
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Holland's POV
I had been laying in this bed for three hours now, waiting for the perfect moment to leave. I had asked Grey and Ryker to let me sleep alone. Grey had gotten mad at me, and we came up with a compromise. He and Ryker would sleep on the floor around my bed to "protect me". I had just rolled my eyes as anxiety swelled within me at the thought of seeing Theo later.
I slowly sat up in bed and looked at the sleeping figures on the floor. I smiled at how adorable they looked, and a warm feeling swept through my veins. I bit my lip and slowly peeled back the covers, and stepped out of the bed. I tiptoed around their sleeping figures, and tried not to step on the creaky floorboards.
Creeeaakkk. My body instantly froze, my hand on the doorknob and my eyes screwed up shut as I waited. I looked back and saw that they had just shifted in their sleep. I breathed a sigh of relief and opened the door, walked through it, and shut it quietly.
I looked down the unfamiliar hallway, and sighed in frustration. I just have to guess my way back to Theo then. If they were to put him in a cage, they would put him in the basement. Now how do I get to the basement?
I pulled my pullover down so it covered more of my thighs as I walked down the hallway, twisting and turning down hallways before I got to a huge staircase. I went down it, and came to the foyer of the house. I peeked into the kitchen, and memories of first meeting Grey's mother filled my mind, a smile slipping on my face.
I saw a door all the way to the right of the kitchen, tucked away and out of everyone's sight. I tiptoed to the door, and opened it, cold air enveloping my body. I looked down the cricketedy stairs and slowly made my way down them. I grabbed my pullover in my hands as I came into a dark hallway that stretched both ways.
Why do I always have to make a choice? I asked myself as I frantically looked down both ways. I sighed and started walking down the hallway to the right. I saw a ring of keys hanging on the wall, so I grabbed it just in case. There were cages on each side, almost like a prison. Most of them were empty, but the ones that weren't had the person either chained to the wall or knocked out on a cot. Why were they in these cages?
I almost gave up when I finally found him. There he was, chained to the wall and his head hanging on his chest. Was he sleeping?
"Theo?" I quietly asked, and his head snapped up. His eyes instantly brightened.
"Hey baby girl!" I went through about six keys before I finally found the right one. My heart clenched as I stepped into the cage. I pulled my panties down my legs and strode over to him. He smirked at me.
"That's a good girl." He said as I brought my hand up to his face, cradling his cheek. I stood on my tiptoes as I placed a kiss to his lips, and he immediately responded with urgency, his tongue slipping past my lips and dancing with mine.
I thought that seeing Theo again would calm all of the nerves inside of me, but instead a new set of nerves settled within me. My heart was squeezing, and my stomach was tumbling. I don't know why they were doing this because they have never done this before.
I pulled back from the kiss and he stared at me.
"Why don't you get me down from here, and we could get out of here. How does that sound, baby girl?" He asked, his voice soft. My body froze. I looked to the keys that were in my hands, and my heart clenched. Why am I second guessing myself? I should just take the key, unlock Theo, and we can run away together.
But I just can't. Something within me didn't want to disappoint Grey and Ryker. Why should I care about disappointing them? It took Grey forever to come and get me, and Ryker just stood there and watched everything Theo did to me. So why should I care if this is what they want?
Because they are your mates. A voice within my head spoke. I furrowed my eyebrows. Who the heck was that?
"Baby girl?" Theo asked, his voice getting stern as he stared at me. I licked my lips and shook my head.
"I can't do it..." I whispered, dropping my hands to my side.
"Baby girl, if you don't unlock me, I will spank the shít out of you and punish you." I stared at him, fear swirling within me at the memories of being punished by Theo. But when he punished me I was being a bad girl, he had said. Like when I didn't wash a plate the right way, or if I spoke without being told when to spoke, or for wearing the wrong outfit.
But Grey and Ryker don't get mad at me for doing those things, in fact they don't even care.
And how is Theo going to punish me if he is locked up? If I unlock him, then I will be in for it. But if I leave him here, then I won't get punished. A little smile slipped on my face.
"Unlock me." He said, his voice a low growl as his hands clenched into fists.
"No..." I whispered, a feeling of power rushing through me. I liked having this power over him, it made me feel superior and no longer afraid of him. In fact, I don't think I have any feelings towards him, other than pity.
"Unlock me right fúcking now, baby girl." He added on the end, trying to sweet talk me into doing it. I just shook my head, my smile growing.
"No." I said, my voice firmer this time. I reached down on the floor and picked up my underwear. I pulled it up my legs and secured it on my waist, a sense of security and safety settling within as I stood there.
"You know I don't like you wearing panties, baby girl." He said, his eyes hard and judging. I felt the anger radiating off of him in waves as he clenched and unclenched his fists, his jaw locking as he stared at me.
I mustered up all the courage I had within me. I squeezed my hands into fists, cleared my throat, and said, "Fúck. You." A look of pain, and sadness washed over his face, and I instantly felt guilty. How could I say those things to him? Don't I love him?
No, I don't. I never did.
I heard footsteps coming down the hallway, and I scrambled for the keys.
"Holland, unlock me right fúcking now!" Theo screamed, rattling the chains. I screamed in fear, dropping the keys. I quickly picked them up and settled on a key. I brought it up to his shackles and tried to unlock him but a firm hand wrapped itself around my wrist. I screamed out and my body curled in on itself as I was pulled away and into a hard body.
Sobs were racking my body as shouts were thrown all around the room, but Theo's pained scream rang in my ears. I curled into the body, a feeling of warmth, and safety spreading all throughout my body. Another body slowly put their arms around me, and their chest was pressed against me. I felt so whole, and safe. Why would I ever need anyone else?
"He...." I tried to get out but they shushed me, placing a kiss to my hair. I was carried out of there, and suddenly placed on a soft mattress. Tears were streaming down my face as I looked at Grey and Ryker. Grey was rubbing his thumb along the back of my hand. He placed a kiss to the top of my head, whispering sweet nothings in my ear.
I made eye contact with Ryker, and I felt my heartbreak. I remember staring into them as Theo pounded into me, forcing his love upon me. I remember wanting to reach out and wrap my arms around him, telling him that things were going to get better.
I think he remembers too because tears are welling in his eyes. He slowly brought his hand up, and placed it on my shoulder. We both flinched away from the touch, but once we realized that we weren't going to be punished, he placed his hand on my shoulder again. I felt love and safety in his touch, something I never felt with Theo.
I kissed his hand, and he cried.
"I am so sorry, beautiful..." My heart swelled at my nickname. I missed this. He wrapped his arms around me, and we held each other in a tight embrace, our tears soaking each other's shirts.
"I am so...fúcking...sorry." He cried, patting the hair away from my face. I didn't say anything, I just held onto him for my dear life.
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2 Days Later
We were sitting on this stupid couch again. I don't know what to expect because last time I nearly had a mental breakdown. I looked down at my wrists and saw the angry red scars. I turned my wrist so it was facing away from me. I sighed as Dr. Lethend looked at the three of us.
"How is everything going?" Nobody said anything. I looked at my boys and Grey had his lips shut in a tight, white line while Ryker was looking down at his lap. "Grey? Why don't you go first?"
He sighed. "Holland tried to unlock Theo from his cage and escape with him." I felt my breath stop. I should have seen this coming. I knew he was mad at me for that. I'm mad at myself, I realize my mistake now.
"I said I was sorry..." I mumbled, slowly looking up to see Grey's reaction. He had his fist clenched.
"I know. But it still does not take away the fact that you had even tried. Do you know how that makes me feel, baby doll?" His voice softened when he said my nickname, and I bit my lip. He's been trying to comfort my needs these past few days; making me food, watching movies with me, holding me when I was crying.
I know that he just wants me to forget all of my feelings for Theo, and I have for the most part. But there's just that little piece within me that is holding onto my love for him.
"No, I don't know how it makes you feel. Because you never tell me how you feel." I said, and it came out in a bitter tone. Before I could apologize, he was raving and ranting.
"Well then, let me tell you how I fúcking feel then. I want to tear out my eyeballs, and kill that son of a bítch every time you even think about him. There is no reason as to why you should have any feelings towards him! Ryker and I are your fúcking mates, for Christ's sake! Our wolves have waited so damn long to have you, yet you don't even seem to care! Levi won't even fúcking talk to Ryker because he is so scared from has happened to him! Odin wouldn't talk to me for months, and he still won't even talk to me, because he feels that I am a disappointment.
"I have gone through so much pain, baby doll. I almost killed myself because I didn't have you two. But yet as soon as I see your beautiful face, you're spitting those vile words to me, talking about how you need to say goodbye to that fúcking piece of shít and that you fúcking love him. That tears a fúcking hole in me, baby doll. It rips me to shreds, you put me back together, only to have it happen again any time you speak his name. That is how I fúcking feel."
He was standing now, and his face was red with anger and tears were coming out of his eyes. I dabbed at my eyes and realized I was crying too.
"Do you know what I went through? Do you want to fúcking know what I went through? You....piece of shít! I was ráped everyday! In front of Ryker! And I had to enjoy it or else I would be punished! Do you know what my punishment was? I would be publicly humiliated! I had to stand in the kitchen, completely naked, while Theo carved up my skin." I lifted up my shirt to show them the many scars on my stomach. I traced over the one that read 'Theo'.
"This is what he fúcking did to me. And every week I had to take a pregnancy test. And every week I had a mental breakdown because what if I did get pregnant? What if I am carrying his child? God, Grey, I wanted to kill myself so many times, but knew I couldn't because there was something in me saying don't give up, he's coming for you. But I waited a fúcking year Grey! And nothing fúcking happened! I gave up hope, okay? I gave up hope, and I found it in Theo. And I'm fúcking sorry, okay?! I'm so...fúcking sorry!" I cried. My eyes were burning and my throat was hoarse. I buried my head in my hands, my tears falling down my wrists and into my lap.
I felt arms wrap around me. I looked up and I saw Grey still standing, his eyes closed as he tried to even out his breathing. I brought up my hand to run it through Ryker's hair.
"Stop fighting..." He whispered into my shoulder. He kissed it before he brought his head up. "Stop fighting. Please. I can't take it." He was crying too. God, we're all fúcking crying. We're all such a fúcking mess.
"Yes. We all went through some fúcked up shít. I had to watch my beautiful Holland get ráped everyday, and there was nothing I could do about it, and it tore me up inside. I was kept on the brink of death, and I just wanted to give up so badly. We all wanted to give up, okay? But we're here now. And that's what we need to focus on. So can we please...stop fighting?" Ryker pleaded, his hands shaking. I grabbed his hands and placed a kiss to his shoulder.
"I can't make any promises." Grey mumbled as he sat back down. He grabbed my hand and love instantly spread through me, making me feel whole. I cupped his cheek and turned his head to place a kiss to my lips, tingles spreading all throughout my body. I pulled away and did the same to Ryker, running my fingers through his hair to calm him down.
"I love you guys." I shakily said, nervous of their reaction.
"I love you baby doll." His voice was so much softer now.
"I love you, beautiful." His voice was not as broken anymore.
"That was good, guys. I will see you tomorrow, okay?" Dr. Lethend spoke. I was drawn back to reality and realized that we were in his office. Great, we fought in front of him.
"Wait, Dr. Lethend?" Grey asked.
"Yes, Grey."
"Can Holland please take a pregnancy test? I just need to see it with my own eyes." Grey spoke. I closed my eyes, trying not to break down as my heart broke. Not another one, please.
"Um...yeah. Sure. Follow me." His tone was surprised as he lead us to the other side of his office where the medical room was. There were a few people being treated, and they bowed their heads to Grey and Ryker as we passed them. Dr. Lethend grabbed a pregnancy test from a cabinet and handed it to me.
"The bathroom is over there, sweetheart. Don't worry, it's going to be negative." I nodded my head and made my way over to the bathroom.
I did what I have done a thousand times already. I sank to the bathroom floor, clutching the stick in my hand. God, I hope this is negative. I know it will be negative, it has to be. It has been before, so surely there is no way that it can be different this time....right?
I looked at the words on the stick, and my breath stopped. No. No. No, no, no, no.
The bathroom door was kicked open and I was being held by Grey, my cries bouncing off of the walls as Ryker read the results.
"Pregnant."
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*AUTHOR'S NOTE*
2,833 words. Bet you didn't see that one coming?!?!
Lots of drama this chapter, oh yeah. You all actually really hate me now, don't you? Whatever. I still love you guys (:
Well, my flu is over. Good thing because I felt like total shít and I didn't know what day it was. But I wrote this for you guys, and I hope you like it. Because this is your Christmas present. (: MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Okay. I love you guys. But did you know that 'Anxiety' got to #4 in werewolf? Like that completely blew my mind, I almost had a heart attack this morning like how frigging amazing is that?!?!?!?! You guys continue to blow my mind, thank you so much for your endless support.
Vote. Comment. Add. Share. Love you guys.
-abbey