BENJI POV
We went down stairs and sat at the table. My mom made pancakes which looked amazing. I sat next to Jorge and Rowy looked at Jorge weirdly then I remember I gave Jorge a hickey right before we came downstairs.
"what is on your neck Jorge" Rowy asked. Jorge's face went red and so did mine.
"oh I um burnt my neck" There is no way Rowy will believe that.
"oh okay" was all Rowy said and he went back to eating. I looked at Jorge and winked at him. He rolled his eyes and laughed causing me to laugh to. My mom walked into the dining room and sat down.
"Okay so Grandma's funeral is tomorrow at 10:30 and basically all of our family will be there so I need you guys to be on your best behavior" she said referring to me and my siblings. Then I realized that I have to come out to them and I started to panic. My leg started bouncing and Jorge noticed.
He put his hand on my leg and I looked at him. He gave me a reassuring look and that calmed me down a little.
"Hey mom Jorge and I are going to go shopping today if that's okay with you" I told her
"Of course that's okay with me" we finished breakfast and Jorge and I went upstairs back to my room. I sat on my bed and pulled my knees to my chest. I was so scared to come out to the rest of my family. I started shaking and Jorge sat next to me and put his hand on my back.
"Benji baby you're gonna be okay" I stopped taking my medication because I hate it. It makes me tired all the time.
"Benji why have you been having panic attacks like everyday now" I was scared to tell him I stopped taking my medication. I don't want him to get mad at me.
"You are going to be mad at me" I whispered
"Benji I will never be mad at you" I took a deep breath
"I- I stopped taking my Medication" He looked at me and hugged me
"Why would I be mad at you for that baby" At least he isn't mad. I shrugged my shoulders and laid my head on his shoulder. He played with my hair and eventually I calmed down. I feel like I annoy Jorge with my panic attacks but I cant control them.
"Jorge do I annoy you with my panic attacks" What if he says yes.
"Benji, you will never annoy me. You cant control your panic attacks and I would be a bad boyfriend if I didn't help you" I don't know how I got so lucky with him. I kissed him and it felt like all my problems went away.
We got up and got ready. It was cold but to be fair it was early December. I threw on a t shirt and then just a purple hoodie on top. Once we both were ready we went out and holy crap was it cold. We went thrift shopping and found a few shirts and then we went to this park near my house. After hours of shopping and just wandering around we made our way back to the park and it was dark now. He started to shiver and he wrapped his arms around himself.
"Babe do you want my sweatshirt" I offered him. I couldn't have him cold.
"no I don't want you to get cold"
"babe you are important to me and it doesn't matter if im cold, I just want you to be warm" Before he could protest I took my sweatshirt off and gave it to him. He put it on and sighed in content. We sat down on a bench and he laid his head on my shoulder. It was quiet and the town around us was lit up by Christmas lights. It was perfect.
"I love you" I whispered to him
"I love you to" I kissed the top of his head. We decided that we were both hungry but it was late so we just went to a little diner that was near.
We got there and sat in a booth and ordered. Today was perfect. I love spending time with him. He makes me so happy and I cant believe I ignored him just because I was scared of what people thought of me, but now I realize that it doesn't matter what people in high school think about you because you wont even talk to most of those people after high school so their opinion really doesn't matter.
We got our food and just made small talk. I could see myself marrying this boy. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I love spending time with him.
We finished our food and left the diner and made our way home. Walking down the street together was like a scene from a movie. Everything just seemed perfect. Once we arrived to my house we went upstairs and laid down. I wrapped my arms around him and he laid his head on my chest.
"I love you" I told him.
"I love you to" he said. I kissed his forehead and we fell asleep.
-time skip to morning-
I was woken up by the sun beaming in my room. I checked my clock and panicked. It was 8 in the morning and we had to leave the house at 9:30. I woke Jorge up and we got ready. I was not ready at all. I know I have to come out to the rest of my family and I wasn't ready.
Jorge and I were going to drive by ourselves so we got into my car and were on our way. It was about a 45 minute drive so I had plenty of time to think about everything. I grabbed Jorge's hand in mine and he smiled.
"Jorge I am terrified to come out to the rest of my family"
"Benji you will be okay, they will support you and if they don't at least your parents and brothers support you" Im so glad to have him with me
"yeah you're right" I squeezed his hand and we talked the rest of the way there.
Once we arrived I started freaking out. I wasn't ready to go in there. Jorge saw that I was freaked out so he squeezed my hand just as a reminder he was there for me. We got out of the car and walked in Funeral home. Its all just now hitting me that she is gone. I started to tear up.
"Are you okay babe" Jorge asked.
"Yeah im fine love" He stopped walking.
"No you're not Benji. You can talk to me" I wanted to cry. He was right I wasn't ok but I had to put on a brave face for him.
"Im fine Jorge. I just don't want to talk about it and I don't want to cry right now"
"Benji its okay to cry. Its okay to not be alright but baby im here for you and I want to help you" I pulled him into a hug. I am so lucky to have him. I laid my head on his shoulder. I cried silently. I felt safe.
"I love you more than you will ever know babe" Its true. I loved him so much. I don't know what I would do if I lost him. (haha) I hugged him tighter.
"I love you so much Benji" After a little bit we walked in and I was immediately greeted by my Uncle Gary and Aunt Linda. Uncle Gary shook my hand and Aunt Linda hugged.
"Look at you Benji all grown up" Aunt Linda said. I just awkwardly laughed.
"Benji who Is your friend here" Uncle Gary said while looking at Jorge. I mentally prepared myself.
"This is my boyfriend Jorge" I grabbed his hand in mine. They smiled and I felt relived.
"Its nice to meet you Jorge" They Shook hands and then we sat down. I talked to family that I haven't seen in years. Some of them I don't remember but I didn't say anything. They were all very supportive and that made me happy. After the funeral ended it was about 2 in the afternoon so my family, me and Jorge went to lunch at Olive Garden.
We sat down and just made small talk. Mainly just about college and Christmas coming up. I still have no clue what to get Jorge but I might have one idea. I just hope he likes it. I just want to get the perfect gift for him.
We ate our food and then left. Jorge and I decided to visit his parents tomorrow and im not gonna lie, im kind of nervous. What if they hate me. I am not going to think negative and be positive.
Once we got home Jorge and I went upstairs and I changed out of my suit and into a t shirt and sweatpants and so did Jorge. It was about 4 and we were both tired so we just cuddled and watched Netflix.
Tomorrow morning im going to wake up early and go get Jorge's gift. I don't want him to know what im getting him. I was so excited about this gift.
After a little while Jorge and I fell asleep.
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Word count: 1591 Date:5-20-20
Foreshadowing is one of my favorite parts of writing.
Have a great day or night💕