Billie slowly opened her eyes, yawning heavily. She'd been hearing the birds for a while, and she even had heard everybody bustling about to get out of the house and get to their destinations in the morning. But all through that, she had kept her eyes firmly shut. Even when Drew had finally gotten up to take a shower, Billie had feigned sleep, preferring to lounge around in the bed all day.
She turned to face the bright lights coming from the window, her head lightly pounding with that small headache that she usually got when she cried herself to sleep.
For a second-a small second-she wondered why she had been crying, but it all suddenly came crashing down on her at once.
Her mother yelling at her, getting kicked out, walking to Drew's in the shitty rain.
That's right. I live with her now.
Because her parents hated her and wanted nothing to do with her.
It was like a nightmare that had snuck out of the dreamscape and infected her life.
Billie's lips quivered, and she sat up, hugging herself tightly and trying to will herself not to cry again. She'd done enough crying for a whole lifetime the night before. But even as she said that, she couldn't fight the tears welling up in her eyes. She needed to preoccupy herself.
Forcing herself out of bed, she shed her clothes, grabbing one of Drew's sweatshirts and a pair of sweatpants and headed to the bathroom. Almost on autopilot, she cleaned herself up and got dressed slowly and mechanically, trying to keep her thoughts from overtaking her once again. Billie avoided glancing in the mirror as she left the bathroom. She couldn't stand to look at herself at the moment.
Finger combing her hair as she waited for it to dry, Billie stared at the picture of Drew's family on her dresser. Never in her life had she ever felt so much despair looking at the close-knit family. Her family had been like that once. Now she had fucked it up completely for everybody. She hadn't spoken to Finneas in about a month and they definitely didn't have the same relationship since he left for college in the fall. And Billie's family was almost completely destroyed now. She didn't even know if she had parents anymore.
Billie eyes were filled with tears at the thought. She curled up into a ball on Drew's bed and tried to control her sobs.
She didn't know how long she stayed that way, sobbing and drifting in and out of a fitful rest, but by the time the last of the tears had dried, the midday sun had long passed and was even starting to set. She knew Drew had come to check up on her a couple times, softly calling her name or asking if she was awake, but Billie remained silent, tracing tiny patterns of Drew's comforter as she sniffled.
Taking a deep breath, Billie finally sat up, rubbing her eyes. She couldn't stay lying in bed forever. She had to at least eat something. The scent of food traveled through Drew's open door and into her nose and Billie's stomach grumbled painfully, clearly irritated with her for not having eaten anything for several hours. She was absolutely starving. She pried herself up and out of bed, dragging her feet to the kitchen.
Drew was frying an egg on the stove when Billie walked in. Billie frowned. It was relatively quiet in the house for it being the late afternoon. Usually everybody was home by now.
"Where is everyone?"
"Mom's working late tonight and dad went to go get some pizza" Drew said, flipping the egg over and sighing dejectedly when the yolk burst open, "Are you hungry?"
Her stomach growled in response, and Drew giggled lightly. Drew opened up the fridge and pulled out a plate with what appeared to be chocolate chip pancakes. They were lopsided and looking a little rough, but she smiled sheepishly and set them in front of Billie.
"I made you some pancakes this morning, but you weren't awake. There even vegan. I've decided to try and go vegan for as long as you live here."
Billie smiled, "Thanks, aren't you cooking an egg though?"
"Yes. Now eat your pancakes."
"They're looking a little worse for wear..." Billie drawled, though she picked one up and gratefully took a bite. She winced. It was way too sweet. "Wow. I didn't think it was possible for someone to mess up pancakes."
Drew's brow furrowed and her lips turned down into a pout, "I tried!"
"I know, you did. I know" Billie said, continuing to eat.
"Are they bad?"
"Yes. But I'm still eating them. You made them for me" she gestured to the stove, "Anyway, shouldn't you be keeping track of said egg?"
"Oh no!" Drew exclaimed, turning around quickly and checking on the egg.
Billie smiled in amusement. Drew was a very distracted cooker. She didn't keep her eyes on the stove long enough at time and then would panic and have a mini freak out when the food got burned or stuck to the pan. Not that she was any better herself. Her mother had always cooked and never really got a chance to teach her. And even when she tried she was just as bad as Drew.
Billie snickered under her breath. They were a pair of disasters. How would they even survive on their own?
"That's the first smile I've seen on your face since yesterday night." Drew said softly as she began to eat the egg.
"Yeah" Billie nodded, the soft smile still on her lips, "Thank you for bringing it back."
"Uh oh..."
Drew picked at her nails in that way she did when she knew she had messed up. She opened her mouth and then closed it again before grimacing. Eyes narrowed, Billie lifted her head and stared blankly at her best friend. She was biting her lip in guilt and looking at the floor. It was all highly suspicious.
"Drew..." Billie dragged out her name, "What did you do?"
"Okay I'm really, really sorry, and I don't want your smile to disappear right after it just came back again but I just had to do it!"
"Well what did you do?"
Billie's eyebrows rose expectantly, thought something told her knew exactly what it was. Her pulse began to nervously race.
"Please don't hate me but I texted Brandon that you needed to tell him something and he said he would come over after practice."
Drew said it all under one breath and very quickly, so Billie almost didn't catch what she had said. But she got enough of the keys words to piece together a general idea of what the statement entailed. And she was not happy.
"Drew!" she chastised, displeased with the turn of events. "I'm not ready! You can't just do things like that without consulting me."
"I couldn't help it Billie! I heard you crying all night and the only thing I could think about was how horrible things have been for you. I want to make it better."
"Yeah? Well this was not the way!"
"Well you should have expected this eventually! I'm a meddler. Meddling is what I do!"
Billie groaned and slumped on the table, her appetite suddenly gone, "Drew, I was going to tell him after the game..."
"Were you? Or were you going to lose you nerve again and push it to a later date?"
Billie looked up in annoyance.
"Don't give me that look." Drew scolded, "I know how you operate. You've decided to tell him so many times and each time you chickened out. So I took matters into my own hands."
"This time was different. I really was going to tell him."
"Well it's too late now." Drew shrugged, "Either way, this convo has to happen. So it's happening today. I'm not going to sit here and let you suffer through this pregnancy on your own. He needs to be involved, and he needs to be involved now. Especially since you lost support from your parents."
Billie's frown loosened, and she sighed, playing with her fingers.
"Drew..."
Drew's phone pinged, but she kept her eyes on Billie, a somber look in her blue eyes. She slid into the seat across from Billie and gently placed her hand on top of hers.
"It'll be okay. Just do it quickly. Like ripping off a Band-Aid."
"Fuck...why is this so hard...?" Billie huffed under her breath. "Why am I being so ridiculous?"
"Because you're Billie. You wouldn't be you if you didn't secretly hold things in and worry about them until they made you crazy."
Billie let out a short breath of laughter. "You're such a weirdo..."
"You'll tell him?"
"Yeah. I'll tell him."
"Good." Drew said, finally checking her phone. "Because he's just arrived outside my window."
"Drew! What the hell? Too soon!"
"Go talk to him." Drew said, her face more serious than Billie had seen in a long time. "Or I'll tell him."
Billie knew Drew meant business. Nodding silently and nervously licking her lips, she stood from the table and made the trek back to Drew's room. Her heart was hammering louder and louder in her chest with each step she took.
Sure enough when she pushed past the bedroom door, Brandon was knocking at the closed window, his gym bag under one arm, and his school bag over his shoulder. He smiled when he saw her, but when she didn't return it, his expression sobered in concern.
Billie pulled the window open and sat on the sofa in Drew's room, waiting patiently for him to crawl in.
"You and Drew weren't at school today."
"I know." She sighed, patting the seat next to her. "Sit."
"Everything okay? Drew's text made it sound like something bad happened."
"It's not...bad exactly..."
And she tapered off, averting her gaze, feeling apprehensive. Why the hell did Brandon have to look at her like that? Like he honestly cared for her.
"Billie, I'm listening" he set his hand on her shoulder, squeezing comfortingly. "You can trust me. Tell me what's wrong."
He was right. She could trust him. And she had been keeping this to herself for long enough. She finally looked at him. His brown eyes were encouraging and affectionate in a way that spread warmth through her entire body. He smiled kindly, though his expression seemed slightly apprehensive. He was so oblivious to the storm that was about to come. She wondered just how distorted that expression would become in the next second.
Okay fuck it...Man up and tell him. Rip it off like a Band-Aid Billie...
Billie took a deep, preparatory breath.
And:
"Brandon. I'm pregnant."