His words tasted like an delicious ice cold glass of lemonade, and I couldn't help but drink it all up.
I stood on my tiptoes, placing a careful kiss onto his pink lips that I could never seem to get enough of.
We stood still, savoring the intensity of the tender moment, and soaking in the quietness of the empty house as we were entangled in each others embrace.
"What is that shampoo you use Lena?" Austin asked he broke the kiss, the randomness of his question catching me off guard.
"Why do you you wanna know what shampoo I use, you weirdo?" I giggled as I shook my head.
"Your hair always looks and smells so fucking good, I'm curious." He shrugged his shoulders.
I couldn't help but laugh at his boyish attitude as he looked down at me.
"It's called raspberry sorbet, I'll let you borrow it sometime." I winked, stealing another peck from him.
"But I don't think you need it rockstar." I reached up, running my fingers slowly through his tight curls.
"Cause your hair looks really sexy when it's freshly cut." I mocked Natalie's words from earlier, earning a comedic howl from Austin.
"Damn Lena, I didn't peg you for the jealous type." He laughed as he reached behind me to grab the two open beers sitting on the counter.
"I wouldn't call jealousy." I shrugged as I shamelessly lied through my teeth and narrowed my eyes to the ground.
"Oh yeah? Don't think I didn't notice how you were glaring at Natalie." He shot back, my brown eyes shifting to meet his. "You look like you wanted to pounce on her." He let out an amused chuckle as he handed me one of the bottles.
"I think you want to be the only one running their fingers through my hair."
I swallowed hard, trying to downplay the impact that he had on me. But he wasn't stupid. He saw right through the transparent front I was attempting to build.
His voice became low and raspy as he leaned down, brushing my lips with his. "Just admit it Lena."
His effect on me was intense and with the way he was looking at me, I could have spilled all of my deepest darkest secrets if he asked me to.
I almost slapped myself as I felt my words betray me.
"I was jealous." I admitted in a small, almost inaudible whisper.
I felt his lips twist into a grin against mine as he let out a low but satisfied chuckle.
"Don't worry groupie, I don't want anyone else pulling on it either."
He closed the gap between us, giving me a short kiss and sending a thrill of mixed emotions throughout my already tingling body.
"You know, now that I think about it, I would love to see you get into a catfight over me." He raised his brow as a I noticed a small smirk forming.
"In your fucking dreams." I rolled my eyes as we laughed together.
"Cmon, let's go finish our food, it's getting cold."
He gave me a small nod as he let go of me. I followed him back to the living room and we continued to eat our dinner and laugh together every few minutes as we watched The Office.
Once we ate the last bit of our meals, Austin brought over two more beers, cracking them open and clinking the neck of his bottle against mine.
"What are we cheersing to?" I questioned as I gripped the cold beer in my hand.
"Cheers to tonight. To enjoying our little bubble before we have to go back to reality." He sincerely smiled at me before raising the bottle to his lips.
I took a small swig, following through with the cheers before I spoke.
"I don't want to leave the bubble." I said softly, barely puckering my bottom lip as the hint of alcohol running through my veins suddenly made me a little more emotional than I wanted to be.
Damn it Lena, why do you have to be such a lightweight. Please don't say something you're gonna regret.
"Neither do I." Austin gave me a shy smile before pecking my lips.
My heart was racing a mile a minute as his lips swayed smoothly with mine.
I felt my guard crashing down and I hated myself for it. A part of me was fighting to the death to resist this man while the other part was ready to hand my heart over to him on a silver fucking platter. I felt myself literally being torn in two as I internally battled my stubborn demons.
Lena what are you doing? You're not suppose to want more. You're not suppose to let him in. He's literally a rockstar with millions of women chasing him. He's going to shatter your heart into a million fucking pieces and you're going to end up all alone.
But think about how he makes you feel Lena. How you can't stop thinking about him before you fall asleep at night. How one look from him makes you feel a roller coaster of emotions. How your heart floods with warmth every time he kisses you. Why does it feel so fucking right when you want it so badly to feel wrong?
I slowly pulled away from him, the voices bickering in my head becoming much too overbearing and I suddenly couldn't hold it in any longer. I had to ask him what this was between us. I needed to know how he felt about me, if he felt anything at all.
"Austin, I-"
Both of our heads turned as we heard the front door open and the entire team rowdily burst their way in.
The guys were completely drunk out of their mind, stumbling and yelling at the top of their lungs as they entered.
"Guys! What happened? You never showed!" Jay exclaimed as he slumped down onto the couch next to me, reaching for a breadstick.
"We uh- we ordered Postmates while we were working and then kinda got caught up watching Netflix." Austin mumbled nervously. I could tell he was a terrible liar but everyone was mostly drunk and would probably believe anything he said anyway.
They crowded around us belligerently picking at our leftovers that sat on the coffee table.
Vanessa shot me a small wink from across the room while Smitty slyly smirked at Austin. Adam simply rolled his eyes in our direction as he shook his head.
No one else really seemed to care why we didn't go to the nightclub and it seemed like they had bought our excuse.
Except for Natalie, who was suspiciously staring at us from the second she walked through the door. She made her way over to the sofa and sank down on the other side of Austin.
"Wasn't the deadline two hours ago?" She questioned, her lips pursed as she glared furiously at us.
"It's 2 am?" I absentmindedly asked as I checked my phone.
"Time just flies when you're binge watching The Office." Austin chuckled, cutting in to save me from having to answer to Natalie, whose attention was quickly diverted to him.
"Austin it wasn't as fun without you." She pouted, now completely ignoring my existence as she touched his knee, caressing her hand in back and forth motions.
To say it took everything in me not to claw her eyes out would be an understatement.
"Oh c'mon you guys look like you had a blast without me." I heard Austin respond, the side of his hand ever so subtly grazing against my thigh as he spoke to her.
"Yeah but you know you're always the life of the party." Her sickly voice raising the anger lurking inside of me.
I averted my gaze as Chris began to ask me about the designs that we chose for the collection.
"Did you guys pick the one with the cowboy on it? I think that would look sick."
"Yeah actually that was one of the first ones Austin chose. Here let me get my laptop, I'll show you." I said to him as I got up from the couch to retrieve it from the kitchen.
I made my way to the kitchen island to grab my computer from sitting on the counter. As I turned around to head back to the living room, I saw Natalie opening the refrigerator, taking out a bottle of water.
As she closed the door, she turned to face me.
"Have a nice little date with Austin?" She asked, her eyes dark and seeping with fury.
"It wasn't a date." I muttered as I awkwardly gripped my laptop in my hands. "We're friends."
She took a step closer to me as she screwed the cap off of the bottle.
"Look I don't know what you're playing at Lena, but I wouldn't get my hopes up about Austin if I were you. You're not really his type. I wouldn't want you to get your feelings hurt or anything."
She gave me a fake smile before she turned on her heels and made her way back over to the group.
I thought I would be enraged by her unexpected petty confrontation but somehow I couldn't help but chuckle to myself at her clueless choice of words.
I walked back to the living room, filling the empty space on Austin's right hand side once again as I opened my laptop to pull up the confirmed designs.
I felt the warmth of his arm press against mine as he discreetly inched closer to me.
I let out a small sigh as I tucked a loose wave behind my ear.
Austin was right next to me, yet somehow he couldn't have felt more far away.
As much of a thrill our hidden 'relationship' gave me, it was becoming exhausting.
And for the first time since I got involved with him, I found myself wishing it wasn't such a secret.
*****
The flight to Salt Lake City was barely two hours, however it felt like a lifetime to me.
Adam kindly sat next to me to keep me company throughout the flight as I didn't want to be alone.
I knew deep down, I was longing for Austin to be near me. His presence was calming and always seemed to put my mind at ease. I just wanted to feel his hand intertwined with mine and hear his soft voice telling me that it was going to be okay. But that wasn't possible and I found myself setting for Adam's corny jokes to get me through my flight anxiety.
Once we finally reached the house, my mouth nearly dropped in amazement.
Austin's house.. or mansion rather, was incredible to say the least. It was absolutely beautiful and it came with a breath taking view of the mountains right in his backyard.
I settled into my luxurious guest bed room and decided to unpack my clothes into the closet since we were going to be staying there for a whole week.
After I emptied my suitcase, I grabbed a pair of bra and panties, an oversized hoodie and pajama shorts and entered the connecting bathroom to take a hot shower.
Once I washed the tiredness off, I quickly dried my body and got dressed into my casual outfit.
Austin didn't give much a of tour when we arrived since mostly everyone had already been to his house many times before.
The majority of the team was playing video games in his game room, while the rest was shooting pool on the Stoney branded pool table.
I figured Austin was either taking a nap or a shower as he was no where to be found.
So I took it amongst myself to have a look around. I admired all of his plaques that were plastered on the walls and the many different awards he had accumulated throughout the short amount of years.
There were an array of guitars and guns hung sporadically around the house, and a beautiful bar with every liquor you could possibly imagine. I chuckled to myself at the Bud Light tap he must have had installed in case his fridge stock ever ran low.
I walked curiously through the halls as the soft sound of a smooth guitar caught my attention. I inched closer and closer to the cracked door at the end of the hall and peaked inside to see Austin peacefully sitting in his studio, strumming the strings of a striped guitar as he quietly mumbled song lyrics.
His head popped up from the sound of my footsteps and a smile instantly crept onto his face at the sight of me.
"Hey." I said quietly as I let myself in and closed the door behind me.
"Hey. How are you feeling?" He questioned as his eyebrows furrowed with concern.
"I'm okay." I gave him a small but reassuring smile.
"I'm sorry I couldn't sit on the plane with you. I wish I could have been there for you." He said as I made my way closer to him.
"It's okay. I'm okay." I repeated as he rested his guitar on the stand next to him and pulled off his cap, running his fingers through his messy hair.
"Come here." He whispered, effortlessly pulling me into his lap.
I adjusted my self comfortably and circled my arms around his neck.
"I was exploring around the house. Austin it's extraordinary."
"Yeah? You like it?" He asked with a grin.
"I love it. It's unbelieveable. Did you decorate it yourself?" I asked, raking my fingers through his hair.
He gave me a short nod, slightly closing his eyes as he enjoyed the pets I was giving him. "I'm glad you like it Lee."
He leaned forward, giving me a small kiss on my lips.
"You look cozy." He chuckled, eyeing my hoodie that was two sizes too big and my Snoopy printed pajamas shorts.
"I am cozy. You don't think my outfit is cute?" I teased as I pretended to pout.
"I think it's fucking adorable. I never though Snoopy pajamas shorts could be sexy but yet you continue to prove me wrong." We laughed together as his hands barely slid up my sweatshirt.
"Were you working on new music?" I asked as my hand dropped down from his hair to play with the few chains he had around his neck.
"Nothing in particular. Just an unfinished verse I wrote a while back with an old beat." He mumbled.
"You should consider singing more acoustic songs. Your voice literally give me chills when I listen to Stay or Feeling Whitney." I said as his bright blue eyes bored into mine.
"That's quite a compliment groupie." He said as his cheeks began to flush a hint of pink.
"Look who's blushing now." I smirked as he began to roll his eyes at me.
"I haven't had much time to write lately but I definitely will put more effort into it when I get the chance."
"Have you thought about an acoustic version of Circles?" I asked as the idea suddenly popped into my head.
"No actually I haven't. You think it would sound good?" He asked.
"Yeah of course. I think your fans would love it." I encouraged.
"Well why don't you give me a little sampling?" He cocked his brow, his lips forming into a smile.
"Me?"
"Yes you. You promised you would sing for me. Now come on."
I pressed my lips together as we stared each other down before I opened my mouth to give in.
"Fine." I attempted to slid off his lap so he could hold his guitar but he held me firmly in place and brought the guitar in front of both of our bodies, resting it against my torso.
He grabbed his pick from the table nearby and slowly began to strum.
My voice was soft and breathy as I carefully sang along to his infamous lyrics.
I leaned my head against his while he played in tune with my words. I closed my eyes as I felt his warm breath tickling the crook of my neck.
We couldn't turn around
'Til we were upside down
I'll be the bad guy now
But no, I ain't too proud
I couldn't be there
Even when I try
You don't believe it
We do this every time
Seasons change and our love went cold
Feed the flame 'cause we can't let go
Run away, but we're running in circles
Run away, run away
I dare you to do something
I'm waiting on you again
So I don't take the blame
Run away, but we're running in circles
Run away, run away, run away
"Lena that was so fucking beautiful." Austin breathed as he placed his guitar down once again and wrapped his arms tightly around my waist.
"Thank you." I was blushing uncontrollably at his sweet words before he cupped my face with his hand and connected our lips softly.
"It kills me that I can't kiss you whenever I want." He whispered almost inaudibly.
I heavily sighed as I stared back at him, my heart clenching as I saw the hint of sadness in his ocean eyes.
I knew right then and there, I was done for.
In that single moment, I knew my heart was no longer playing it's stubborn game of tug of war.
Because I was falling in love with him.