Sid hated the way Aiden looked in her apartment. His gray khakis against the faded brown suede couch and crisp white converses resting on the pale orange rug. She wished she had time to run a vacuum over it. Hell, she wished she had a vacuum. He looked like he didn't belong there, largely because he didn't. Sharing space with him was an uncomfortable necessity. Every other week AJ trekked into the hood from his beautiful house in Bay Ridge to take AJ away from her. She always missed AJ like hell when he wasn't with her. She made it better by remembering that every other week it was his chance to experience a place where he had his own room, space to move, and all the cookies he wanted.
"This week is not yours." Sid thrust her phone into AJ's face. Their shared calendar was pulled up on the screen. Aiden threw AJ up in the air and his tiny giggles echoed across the small living room.
"No. You had him the last two weeks because I had that conference in Phoenix and then the Mayor's reception. Remember? I adjusted the calendar and re-sent it. Did you accept the changes to the schedule?" He had AJ poised and ready for another flight into the air. Sid analyzed the screen. There was a notification in the bottom right corner. She opened it. Alas, the changed schedule. She made a face. It was physically uncomfortable for her to get caught slipping. The last person she wanted to seem undone in front of was Aiden.
"Oh," She said, "Ok, well let me pack some stuff for him."
"We've got stuff at the house."
We've. The house. She hated when he did that.
"Yeah, but he loves his Elmo blanket and will not sleep without it." Sid rushed off to the bedroom and grabbed the blanket out of his crib. She sniffed it reflexively and filled her nose with the sweet scent of shampoo, baby powder, and baby drool. Her baby.
Their baby.
Knowing that the thing she loved most was forever attached to Aiden...it caused her pain that seemed to stretch into the future beyond her life, past her flesh.
Back in the living room, Aiden kneeled on the dusty rug and slid a shoe over AJ's tiny toes while he listened to nursery rhymes on a tablet that looked massive in his short stubby fingers. Sid smiled despite what she knew was coming. A whole week alone. With her thoughts. Typically she was able to prepare and fill her days with activities but not this time. It would be a long week. Sid handed the blanket over to Aiden reluctantly once he was done putting on AJ's shoes. He stood, dusting off little specks of lint that clung to the knees. He made his way over to her while AJ stretched out on his tummy watching cartoons. He'd need to be dusted off as well.
"You good? You need anything?" Aiden asked.
It was his typical line of questioning. A question that always grated on Sid's nerves. They agreed before AJ was born that they would have equal roles in AJ's life. Complete half and half. No child support. Sid would pull her half and Aiden would pull his. No courts. Only thing is, she didn't anticipate Aiden's half being so much more abundant than hers.
While she struggled to land a job as a pregnant new grad, Aiden landed a position right away in one of Tomi's parent's hotels in Manhattan, right off of Washington Square Park. It was boujee, super posh, and right up his alley. He started as Night Auditor but quickly worked his way up through grit and the purest form of ass-kissing, and was now the Northeast Regional Director for Ito Hotels. This officially made him AJ's one successful parent. To his credit, he was generous and offered to help but she refused every time. Like she would do now.
"I'm good."
"You still seeing someone?" Sid blushed for a minute thinking her was talking about a love interest. Someone to share her bed and get tangled in her sheets. But Aiden would never ask that. He was talking about someone for her other issues. Trains. And binge eating. And depression.
"Yeah, I'm seeing a therapist. Every thing's fine."
Aiden gave a cursory glance around the apartment— the faint stench of AJ's bowel movement lingering stubbornly— as if to call bullshit. She held a straight face and prayed a stray roach wouldn't scuttle by. After a moment he accepted it and scooped up Aiden from the floor.
"Give mommy a kiss." Aiden prompted AJ, who happily perked up his lips and planted a huge smooch on Sid's cheek. He hoisted AJ's compact little frame in his arms supporting his back with his large hands. Sid caught herself trying not to notice the metal that encircled his left ring finger. It appeared there six months ago. After she had to take AJ to get fitted for a little tux. She stayed with Tomi the weekend of the big event. Drinking and talking massive loads of shit.
"See you next week then?" Aiden asked. Sid pulled her eyes from his finger and gave a tight smile and nod. He was through the door quickly and went down the hall to wait for the elevator.
"It's broken." She told him.
"Oh, right." Aiden crossed over to the stairwell and Sid offered one last wave to AJ as they disappeared into the stairwell.
Sid retreated back into the apartment. The silence in the space without AJ was always a bit of an adjustment. In the kitchen, she looked at the ingredients for spaghetti and meatballs. AJ's favorite. Well, not his favorite but the only thing he's sure to eat at least half a toddler plate of. She didn't feel like cooking but decided to get to it. No sense in being alone and hungry.
***
Two hours and two plates of Spaghetti later, Sid was deep into watching a baking championship when her phone rang. She glanced at the screen. Chante's name flashed across the screen. Sid silenced the phone and went back to her show. The phone lit up again a moment later and she silenced it again. It wasn't that she didn't like Chante. It's just that she didn't care. And Chante cared-- a lot. Chante and Sid grew up together playing double-dutch until the street lights sparked to life in front of the very building she lived in right now up. But soon double dutch gave way to menstrual cycles and boys and Sid having already buried her stake of love deep in Aiden did not find Chante's choice of boys interesting. They drifted apart. Sid went off to college and the memories of Chante faded to that place where you keep nostalgia. That was until they almost crashed strollers going into the same daycare.
Chante started chatting her up immediately. Sid offered the usual pleasantries but not much more. She thought that would be it but when they ended up in the lobby of the building at the same time that evening -- Chante's body literally shook with excitement -- she knew that she'd have to pack it in and make nice for real. Chante lived four floors below her and was really a great help when it came to picking up AJ if she is running late from work. She should try harder and be nicer to her. But not today. Nope, today she would eat another plate of spaghetti and try to remember this one contestant's recipe for Baked Alaska.
She'd just shoved a Parmesan encrusted meatball into her mouth when there was a knock at the door.
"You've gotta be fucking kidding me." She mumbled before quickly muting the TV.
"I heard the TV and I saw Aiden leave with AJ." Chante's smooth voice drifted through the door. Sid lifted her plate from her lap onto the coffee table and walked, hunched shoulders over to the door. She'd been busted. She pulled it open.
"Hi." Chante looked annoyed. Her blond wig expertly affixed to her head. Her deep brown skin popped in contrast. Baby hair laid as usual. Sid maintained her position at the door.
"Hi." It was becoming awkward.
"Well damn, Sid, let me in." Chante pressed. Sid slid to the side. "You're so damn funky. I don't know why I talk to you." She knew why. Chante was the building mascot. Her grandmother had lived there, then her mother after that, and now Chante after her. She knew everything about everybody and Sid would not be an exception. That created some tension. Especially because Sid vowed that she wouldn't make friends here. This was a temporary space for her so there was no need to build bonds.
"This is what you're doing? Sad." Chante sank down on the couch. "I do love this show though."
"It's the finale." Sid returned to the couch and dug into her plate again.
"Ooh, what'd you make? Is there more?" Chante asked. Sid waved her fork back toward the kitchen and Chante shuffled excitedly into it. Sid never had to pay Chante when she picked up Aiden. She just brought her down a plate of food and she was more than happy. Chante plopped down next to Sid a second later with a plate piled high with noodles.
"They're filming a video downstairs. Imma try to be in it." Chante chewed with her eyes wide.
"Exactly how are you going to do that?"
"They love having chicks with fat assess in their videos. It won't be hard." She burst into laughter that caused her heavy breasts to bounce. Sid chuckled at her.
"Good luck."
"You should come."
"I'm not shaking my ass in a video."
"Then watch me do it."
"No dice. I gotta work in the morning."
"They got bottles and stuff!"
Sid perked up. Besides the occasional splurge, a stiff drink wasn't something that was typically in her budget. The thought of the bite of Hennessy in the back of her throat followed by the warmth in her belly and the fuzz in her brain. It was enticing. She looked outside. The sun was just setting. She could get out there, sink into a corner, have a few drinks, and be back and buzzed before midnight. She reminded herself that AJ wasn't here. No reason to stay in.
Chante was still eyeing her hopefully.
"Ok."