Dara Village,
Afghanistan.
"Talk." Emily says, not even looking at Jayden's face. She crossed her arm, under her chests.
"I'm sorry for what I've said earlier. About you, and Shawn.."
"I'm not really mad, or even offended. In fact, that is what you always did this whole time right? What's the big deal anyway? I'm kinda used to it already. Don't worry."
Jayden stares at her face in silent. Trying to find the right words to reply to her. One wrong move, and there is a high possibility that they'll end up fighting, AGAIN.
"So, how are you? Are you okay?" He asks, changing the topic.
"As you can see, I am coping well." She reply, short. Watching Jayden's unsure face, looking at her, make Emily let out a deep sighs.
"Jayden, if you're worried about me, then don't. Cause I'm perfectly fine.."
"Are you sure? Cause I'm pretty damn sure that's not the case when you talk to Shawn earlier." Jayden says, with that jealousy, yet sarcastic tone of him.
Emily look at him with her unbelief expression. "Really? Again?? What is it with you and Shawn anyway??" She asks, noticing that Jayden seems to hated everything when it includes Shawn.
"Obviously it's not just a merely jealousy. There is something between you two, is this involves a girl? From the past??" Emily asks.
Her mind is pointing out to Amanda. Those three knew each other. There is a high possibility that this feud between them is because of her.
Jayden give her a long look, like what the hell is she talking about right now. He looks at her in disbelief.
"A girl from the past?? Really?? Is that what he told you???"
"Just forget it. There is no use to talk with you Jayden. Every time the two of us involves in this whole talking thing, we always end up arguing AGAIN, and AGAIN." Emily let out a deep sighs.
"I guess I'll just find it out from Shawn then.." She add, frustrated.
"Oh so what, are you two like buddies now? Why is it okay to talk to him, but not me???" Jayden deadpan.
"Ugh.. Then tell me!!" She yell at him, but he is clearly ignoring her question.
"Well you know what, don't answer it. Really. Keep it to yourself then! But whatever it is Jayden, could you please let me stay out of it?? Stop using me as the damn triggers that caused you to fought with him." Emily sighs.
"I am not using you Emily. NEVER. I am worried about you, and you clearly don't give a damn about it. GREAT!!" Jayden scoffs.
"What? Worried about me??" She let out a chuckles.
"Why? Is it that hard to believe that I am worried about you?? I bet that is not the case with Shawn huh." He reply, sarcastically.
"Just save your concern for someone else. I am not that important to you anyway.. How long did we even knew each other?? 3 years? 5? 6? " She asks, looking at him.
"Oh wait! We knew each other only for months!!" She add, chuckling.
"Okay, hold on-" Jayden look at her, confused.
"First, you ARE IMPORTANT to me Emily Marshall. Remember that." Jayden says, looking at her so deeply.
"And second, what the hell are you talking about? Mind to elaborate more?" He asks.
"Oh please. You know what I meant Jayden Walker." She reply.
"Yeah no shit. Tell me Emily."
"Ugh. Just drop it Jayden. I am really not in the mood to argue with you, AGAIN."
Jayden look at her, more like trying to figure out what she meant. It only took him a minutes to finally guess what all of this is about.
"You're jealous, of Amanda." He sighs.
"Look--"
"I said, JUST DROP IT." Emily cut him off.
"For fuck sakes Emily, let me explained.."
"Explained?? There is nothing to explained. Don't you get it?? We, this.. Whatever happened between us was all in the past now. We're not obliged to explained what we do. That's it."
"But still, You are making your own assumption right now, and I need you to know that what you saw earlier, that was NOTHING." Jayden say, with both of his hands, holding her shoulders.
"And why are you doing this? Why are you explaining yourself? What are we????" She asks, lifting her face to look at him.
"What are we Jayden?" Her voice is shaking, trying so hard to control her emotion.
"I admit. I admit it that I really hated myself for what I felt every time I saw you with her." She add, with a very deep breath.
"Emily.." Jayden look at her, softly. His one hand is touching her cheeks.
"Listen--" He add, but she cut him off, AGAIN.
"No Jayden. Seriously. What are we? the fact that I still care, the fact that, deep down.. I actually need you to tell me, what I just saw is nothing--" She stop for a seconds, with her teary eyes looking at him.
"You don't have any idea how much I hated all of that so damn much.." She add.
"Emily--"
"We shouldn't keep acting like this Jayden.. I can't." She cut him off.
"But I need you to understand," He says, almost like whispering to Emily, lifting her face to look at him. Their faces is only inch away from each other.
"You need to understand that whatever the hell was it that you saw, that was nothing. I do care about her, but that's it. Nothing more." He add.
"But it's wrong. I can't feel that way, We can't be like this. We're not even together.." Emily reply, with that teary eyes.
"Then what's holding you back?? Can't we just, be together??" He asks, looking into her eyes so deeply.
"That's the problem.. I can't.." Emily reply, getting Jayden's hand off her shoulders. She take a very deep breath, looking at Jayden who's standing there, watching her, speechless.
"I can't..." She says, again.
"Why??" Jayden asks back, with his unbelief tone.
"Is it Shawn?? Are you holding back because of him????" He add, his face is already red, clenching his jaw, trying to control his anger.
"What?? No. Of course no. He got nothing to do with all of this."
"Then WHY??? Tell me."
"It's me. I am the problem, Jayden." She reply, closing her eyes for a seconds when she let out that sentences.
"What does that even mean??" He says, totally frustrated with Emily's sudden answer.
"I can't handle you. You, your job, all the secrets behind your mission, your suicide mission to be exact. I CAN'T. I'm not strong enough for that." She says, choking up.
Her emotion explode tonight, right in front of the man that she loves. Jayden watch her in silence. Watching her crying in silence like that, really hurt him.
"So you're saying that, my job is the reasons why you've been holding yourself??" Jayden remarks make Emily turn her head, avoiding Jayden's eyes.
"That's the very same reason why you wanted to break up with me back then in NYC. Are you fucking kidding me Emily??" He says, looking at her, with her unbelief expression.
"Are you fucking serious???"
"Call me selfish. Call me whatever you want. I don't care. I am not ready to lose anyone AGAIN. I am so done with that shit." She reply, turning her head to look at him.
"Damn it Emily. Did I really meant that little to you?? Can't you even for ONCE, for ONCE Emily. Can't you put your trust on me only for this ONCE???" Jayden add, trying to convince her.
But judging from Emily expression, Jayden knew. There is nothing in this world that could change her mind right now, even him. He stares at her so deeply, and then he let out a deep sighs.
"I'm sorry..." She says, almost like whispering, taking a step away from him.
"No. Don't do this.." Jayden says, begging her. The desperation is so clear in his eyes, hoping that Emily will not walk away from him.
"I'm so sorry.." Emily says, with a tears on her face, walking away from Jayden. She doesn't even wait for his response. And Jayden, he just let her walk away...
How could he force her to stay, after all that she said. Deep down, Jayden do understand what Emily felt. After losing so many people that she loved around her, she must be scared to add him on that list.
But there is part of him that can't really help but to feel angry about all of this. Is his love not enough for her? How could she make all the decisions by herself, not even considering how he feels towards her.
Little did they knew, is that they are not the only one that was there right now. There is a third person who's been sneaking up to hear their conversation.
The 'mole'.
That same mole that had screwed up their last mission, and the same mole that told Ho about the U.S Army is gathering information about him. He smirks, watching Emily walk away from Jayden, who's standing there looking at Emily from behind in silence. That mole watch them both with his satisfied smirks. Tonight he just discover more important info for Ho.
He just found out Jayden's biggest weakness.