PATCHOULI
I am annoyed. Alam ko na talaga na sa bakasyon na ito hindi ako matatahimik. With Titus' possessiveness and Wolfram's intense stares, I just knew it would be trouble.
" Come on, give me a break!" sigaw ko habang lumalayo ako sa aming mga kaibigan. Titus and Wolfram were fighting over a crab. Nagpa-abot lang naman ako pero kung pag-agawan nila ay parang sila yung kakain!
I ended up walking out. I swear, those two, are going to be the death of me.
" Patch!" I heard Sol's name from behind. Tumigil ako sa paglalakad at humarap sa kaniya. I was still wearing my annoyed face.
Hinihingal siya nang lumapit sa akin. " Where are you going?"
" Anywhere! I can't stand those two!" inis ko pa ring sabi.
" You haven't eaten anything!" bumilog iyong mata niya.
" Exactly and they go around biting each other's necks! Sa iba na lang ako kakain!"
" I'll go with you!" excited niyang sabi. Napanganga ako kay Solandra at nauna pa niya akong hinila sa kung saan.
" Do you have money with you?" tanong ko kasi nandoon kay Titus ang aking wallet.
" Yes!" she raised her phone and shook it in front of me. Nakuha ko kaagad ang ibig niyang sabihin.
We ended up getting a buko juice that was inside a coconut shell. Tumambay kami sa harap ng stall habang naghahanap ng gwapo para hindi na ako pag-awayan nung dalawa.
" Are you still thinking about Wolfe?" tanong ni Sol sa akin.
Nabitin sa gitna iyong hinihigop kong juice tapos napatingin ako sa kaniya.
" Hmm, hindi na masyado. I mean, I chose not to think about him."
" And what did you feel when you saw him again?"
" Hurt? Confused? But then it was awkward and weird. I don't even know if he knows that his twin is courting me."
" Weird nga." tumango siya. " And what's more weird is that he keeps on competing with Titus. He doesn't hold the title of being your boyfriend, you know."
" Galit pa rin ako, Sol. Galit ako sa ginawa niya dati at mas galit ako ngayon. Why does he keep on doing these things? Mahal niya pa rin ba ako? Kasi kung ganoon lang din naman, bakit umalis siya? Bakit niya ako iniwan? I deserve an explanation, at least."
" I know. I get your sentiments. Hindi rin naman tama na umalis lang si Wolfe without even trying alternatives for your relationship. He didn't even try to talk you out of it."
" Because he is a coward!" galit kong sabi. " Ang dami namang paraan pero bakit iyong iwanan ako ang mas pinili niya?"
Maybe Wolfe doesn't really love me. He just fell in love with the feeling of someone loving him! He just know how to make me happy. He doesn't really love me because if he loves me, he would find a way. Love will always find a way.
Niyakap ako ni Sol habang nag-iisip pa rin. Gulong-gulo na ako. Masakit pa rin sa dibdib iyong pang-iiwan ni Wolfe. After he left, he didn't even contact me. I tried reaching out to him. I became lost pero wala siyang ginawa. Wala siyang iniwang salita na panghahawakan ko.
" I just think you two need to talk about your issues. Hindi pwedeng tatakasan niyo na lang palagi. If you're mad at him, tell him. Burst out if you must. Malay mo, it would clear your mind and your feelings."
" My feelings are clear, Sol. I still love him that's why I am hurting." malungkot kong sabi. Isinandal ko ang aking ulo sa balikat ni Sol. I heard her inhaled deeply.
" Totoo ba talaga iyan? Hindi ka ba naguguluhan kung sino talaga ang nagugustuhan mo?"
" Hindi nga." lumayo ako kay Sol. I eyed her deeply because I know she's referring to something. Alam ko ang ibig niyang sabihin.
" Okay." napabuga ako sa hangin. I don't even know why I did that. But the moment Sol asked that, I knew I was already filled with thoughts I didn't even want to think.