Trigger Warning: This chapter discusses and depicts rape, reader discretion is advised
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"Regina Mills, let me tell you about Hope's father."
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Emma watched as plump lips parted slightly, and perfect eyebrows furrowed, each indicating confusion and surprise. "Wh-what?" Asked the brunette, almost as if to make sure she heard Emma correctly. Emma took a deep breath, before reaching forward and placing her hand on Regina's knee.
"I want to talk to about the man w-who um-- who got me p-pregnant." Emma heard the shaky stuttering in her voice almost immediately after she finished her sentence, and she knew that she would be a mess by the end of this. No matter, she wasn't going to back out now.
Regina's eyebrows went from furrowed to raised as she registered the fact that she had heard the young blonde sitting in front of her completely right. She scooted closer to the blonde on the couch and intertwined her hand with the hand on her knee.
"Okay, but--but why?" Emma sighed heavily, looking up in contemplation, before looking back into chocolate brown eyes, and responding to the question, "Since I got home today, the only thing I've been thinking about is this, and how it ties into our relationship." Regina nodded intently as if to say go on.
"I'm sure from what little you know about my past, the foster care, and all that, you can gather that I don't have many people I care about and that care about me. You, you are the latest person I've found that with, and this is a rare occasion for me."
The brunette let a light smile grace her lips hearing Emma say that, before becoming more focused on the woman's words, "I am starting to care about you, and I get the feeling that care is going to continue to blossom. So with the number of people in my life I've already lost along the way, I don't want to lose you when we've only just started this."
Regina's expression dropped slightly "What do you mean? You aren't going to lose me Emma." Emma nodded "Which brings me back to the question you asked. I am doing this because I want our relationship to be built on trust, and although what I'm about to tell you is very personal, and we haven't known now another for very long, I want you to know, I trust you. want you to know my truth too, and I want you to trust me."
Regina gave Emma a reassuring look "Okay, you can tell me, Emma, I will just sit here and listen." "Okay, well then there are a few things I need to tell you before I start. First, this story isn't going to be pretty, so just be prepared. Second, I've never actually told this story in detail, not even to Ruby, I only ever told her the necessary things so she could get the gist the situation."
Regina nodded in understanding "Which means?" Emma sighed, "Well, this was a very traumatic experience for me, so It means that this is going to be hard for me, and I very well may be a complete emotional mess while telling you this."
"Okay, I understand, and whatever support you need while you do this, I'm here." "Okay, thank you Regina. Oh, and one more thing, I think it would be best if you didn't say anything until the end, I really just need you to be here for me, and to listen." "Okay Emma, I can do that." The blonde took a deep breath before beginning to speak again.
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Okay well I guess I should start with a short sum-up of how I grew up. I've never known who my parents are, or if they are even alive. All I know was that I was found in Boston on the said of a highway, wrapped up in a hand made blanket with Emma knitted into it, and a swan knitted into it. That's how I got my name, Emma Swan.
Anyway, I was in foster care from then on, and throughout my whole childhood. When I was only 5 years old, I was living in a group home, and a few of the older kids from the home were picking on me. That's when Ruby came into the picture.
She wasn't an actual foster kid, but she was being raised by her grandmother. Granny had come down with pneumonia, and that can be dangerous in older people, so Ruby was put in a group home while Granny recovered in the hospital.
Anyway, she stood up for me, and even though she was just as small, she got the big kids to stop picking on me, and from then on we were inseparable. Even though I was jumping between foster homes, we managed to stay close.
I am not gonna go into detail about all the homes I was in, that's for another time. When I turned 14, granny managed to legally adopt me, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Even though at this point Ruby and I already considered each other sisters, we were officially legal sisters when Granny adopted me.
As for ballet, I had been dancing all throughout my childhood, I learned by watching youtube videos, and stage ballets, and studying every detail of every movement each dancer made. Then when I was eight, the foster mother I was living with at the time, Ingrid, bought me three pairs of ballet shoes.
She bought one pair that was my size, a second pair that was a size bigger, and a third that was another size bigger. That way I would have new ones when I grew out of the old ones, even when I wasn't living with her anymore.
Anyway, when Ruby and I started high school, and I began living with her and Granny, Granny did the kind thing of paying for private dance lessons for me. I got my first point shoes not long after that, and I learned really quickly. My teacher told me she thought I was a dance prodigy.
Ruby was also an extremely talented artist for her age, and it was just after our freshman year had started that we promised each other we were both going to graduate early, and get into some prestigious art school together. Just some silly thing teen girls promise but never actually comes true. We were about halfway through Freshman year when I met him.
Neal Cassidy, he was a junior, and he was just under two years older than me. Ruby is kind of a party animal, and I met him at some high school part that Ruby dragged me to. Before this, I had been questioning my sexuality just a tiny bit, and this was due to an older girl I was in foster care with once.
But, when I met Neal, and he started hanging out with Ruby and me, I pushed those feelings so far down that I almost forgot about them. As I bet you can gather, things progressed between Neal and me within just a few short weeks, and the truth is that it was really all him.
He was always the one to do the asking outs and he was always the one to make the first move. I think it was because I never really felt the need or want to make a move on him. We were about a year into our relationship, I was a Sophomore, he was a Senior, and I really had grown to care about Neal, and to love him.
I know now that I never felt any passion or desire, but I had never really been in a serious relationship before him, so I just assumed that was what love was supposed to feel like. It's not like I had anything to compare it to. As Ruby and I had planned freshman year, we took a bunch of extra classes and worked our asses of in art and ballet.
We both had all 26 of our credits required for graduation by the end of our sophomore year, and we both got into a prestigious art school. Neal on the other hand, was an insanely good hockey player and he got into NYU on a hockey scholarship.
I was really happy that Neal and I weren't going to have to deal with a long-distance relationship. Over the summer after Sophomore year, Ruby and I both got officially emancipated, although we did in such a way where we were both still considered Granny's legal next of kin, and legal sisters, mainly for medical and insurance reasons.
Rubes and I were both sixteen, and Neal was eighteen, when we all moved from Boston to New York together. When I first started school, I shared a dorm with Ruby, which I was pretty stoked about. We started school and we both loved it, and I was really happy that I was able to drive to go see Neal whenever.
So skip to a little over a quarter of the way through my sophomore year of college, and a little over three years dating Neal. At this point, I really had decided that Neal was the one. I thought I was actually going to Marry him someday.
I mean, I did love him, and I cared for him so deeply. We never fought, he was always kind to me. ( Emma stopped talking as she finally began to feel nervous, and her words got caught in her throat. She coughed subtly, before trying to continue to speak.) We had never had s-sex either, and Neal had never once asked me about sex, nor did he ever try to f-force me into it.
He was k-kind and good, and it was because of all this, that I just decided that he had to be the one. Then one night, Ruby begged me to go to this frat party with her because she wanted to Impress some cute guy. She wanted me there for moral support, but she would honestly make me go even if there was no guy.
Long story short, I had enough to drink that I couldn't quite tell my left from my right, and I ended making out with some random girl at that party. When her lips touched mine, its like a waterfall of emotion and passion washed over me, and those feelings that had been pushed down and forgotten, they shot to the surface.
I told Ruby immediately, and we went on a road trip so we could get away, and so she could help me figure out all of my feelings. All of a sudden, so many things became clear to me. I was finally able to understand the difference between loving someone, and being In Love with someone.
When I did, I finally understood why I kissed a girl once, and I felt like I was flying, and had kissed Neal probably hundreds of times and never felt a single thing. It was because I was attracted to girls, not guys. Girls, not Neal.
It took me a little while to wrap my mind around the concept of being gay, but I finally did it. Once I did, I knew that the first thing I had to do was tell Neal what was going on. I thought I would have been more nervous to tell him, but when the time came, I really wasn't.
I guess it was because he was one of the kindest, most understanding people I had ever met, and I really believed he would be okay with it. (Out of absolutely nowhere, Emma felt her eyes filled to the brim with tears, but she did her best to ignore it and kept talking) I-- I um, I d-drove down his dorm building to go s-see him late at night, and I prepared a little speech on the drive there.
I walked into his dorm, and I could tell he was worried. I had told him that it was pretty serious when I texted him, so I understood why. He sat on his bed, and I just kinda walked around his dorm room while I talked, it helped me feel less--less... I don't know, just better.
I explained to him everything that had been going on, and I made sure he knew that it wasn't personal in any way and that I still cared about him, I still loved him, and that would never change. I guess I didn't really notice at first, but Neal hadn't said a single word the whole time I was talking.
He kinda just sat on his bed, watching me pace around and try to explain the current situation to him. When I finally finished, I stopped pacing and I turned to face him, worried about his response to everything that had just come out of my mouth in the last hour, but Neal still didn't say a word.
He just put his elbows on his knees, and rested his head in his hands, and started thinking. I could tell that he had gone into deep thought, trying to process all of the information I threw at him so quickly, and it seemed utterly normal.
I mean, I got it, it made sense why he needed time to process, and I really wasn't worried about it. So, I just sat down in his desk chair and waited for him to finally look up at me and say something. At this point, I don't really remember how much time passed, but it felt like an eternity.
Finally, I saw his head move from the corner of my eyes and so I turned to look at him. When I did, m-my eyes met his an-- (Emma could feel herself get choked up by her own tears as the memory of how his eyes looked in that moment replayed In her head.) I- I looked into his eyes, and the p-person staring b-back was not Neal.
The m-minute our eyes met, a wave of f-fear and-- and discomfort washed over me, and all of a sudden I felt te-terrified in his presence. (Emma stopped talking for a second and took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. Tears were spilling out of her eyes and rolling down her cheeks, and it was already getting hard for her to speak.)
I had never once looked at N-Neal and seen the p-person that I saw that night, and I had never once felt the w-way I did that n-night. (Emma felt her face turn red as she began to choke out sobs. She could see the concern and empathy written on the face of the woman in front of her, who gave her hand a squeeze to ensure to keep going. At this point, all of her words were coming out in cries.)
Wh-when he stood ups and started walking t-toward me, I wanted to get up and r-run as fast and as f-far about as possible, but I was fr-frozen in place. When-- when h-he grabbed my arm hard enough to bruise it ,and y-yanked me out of my chair, its l-like reality f-finally caught up to me.
I began to struggle and s-scream. The minute that ear pitching n-noise exited my mouth, he drew his hand back ad s-slapped me clean across the f-face. Ha-- hard enough to make me fall on the f-floor.
H-he crouched down to the floor and w-wrapped both of his arms around m-me from behind. Th-then, he s-squeezed, hard, and h-he began d-dragging me to his b-bed. He p-picked me up, and practically th-threw me down onto his mattress. B-but, when he p-pinned my arms above my h-head and got on t-top of me heart s-sank to my stomach.
He b-began to take off my c-clothes, a-and I couldn't m-move. I started to s-sob as I begged him to s-stop and to think about wh-what he was doing. It didn't m-matter, and I c-couldn't do anything else to s-stop him. S-so I squeezed my eyes shut a-as tight as p-possible, and I just w-waited for him to get it o-over with.
I was finally completely n-naked and he s-somehow managed to keep me pinned d-down the whole t-time he undressed me. B-but, the sound of h-him pulling down the z-zipper to his jeans. The a-agonizing feeling I got as she slowing pulled down his p-pants, th-that will forever be b-burned in my brain.
B-before I could even p-process the m-moment, Neals h-hand was around my n-neck, and he was p-pounding into me m-mercilessly. I couldn't b-breath, and I was in e-excruciating pain the whole time he rap-- raped me, he hit me, and y-yelled at me, and s-screamed at me.
I h-had been a v-virgin before this, and e-even though I was s-sobbing in p-pain, even though there was b-blood spilling onto the b-bed, he just kept g-going and going and going. By the e-end of it, I couldn't even s-stand up on my own, and I couldn't talk either from being ch-choked so hard.
I was thrown into the dorm h-hallway in nothing but a b-bra and underwear, a-and I didn't know what I was gonna d-do. I m-managed to t-text Ruby, and sh-she came to h-help me. I was t-traumatized for w-weeks after that, and I w-wasn't able to t-talk to anyone a-about what happened. I f-found out I was p-pregnant at the end of sophomore y-year, and--- and
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Emma couldn't do it. She couldn't keep talking. She broke down completely, as sobs wracked throughout her whole body. Regina immediately pulled Emma into her chest and wrapped her arms protectively around the blonde. Emma buried her face in the older woman's neck and just cried, and let everything out.
Regina had been crying too, she was so angry that anyone would ever hurt Emma as bad as Neal did. She knew the teen needed reassurance, "I am so sorry that this happened to you. No one deserves to ever go through something like that, ever."
"I am going to promise you right now, that you always be safe with me, and you can come to me anytime about anything, day or night. Thank you for trusting me with something as personal as this." Emma just nodded and sniffled into Regina's shoulder as her grip tightened on her.
"Do you need anything?" "C-can we just go to b-bed? I'm tired, I- I just want you to h-hold me." Regina smiled, before leaning down and kissing Emma's head. "Of course my love, come on." Regina wrapped one arm under Emma's knees and the other under her shoulders, as she picked her up and carried her to the bedroom.
She set Emma down carefully on the bed, and she could feel her shaking. They both got under the covers, and when the two were settled in bed, Emma immediately latched herself onto Regina. They each wrapped their arms around the other warmly, as the blonde lay her head on the Latina's chest.
Regina stroked the young woman's hair gently, as the two of them slowly drifted into a peaceful sleep together. "Everything is gonna be okay, I promise." Whispered the brunette before she let herself drift off, contently holding Emma in her arms...
A/N
Hey guys! Finally, here's my extra-long update (3,358 Words) This chapter was a little difficult to write in some parts as I'm sure you can understand, but I'm overall really happy with how it turned out. We are now getting to the stage of the book were Emma and Regina's dynamic starts to grow into a full-on relationship, so if there are any situations you want to see them in, or if there's anything specific you want them to do together, please comment it down below, or PM me! Its always really helpful to have my readers' opinions about what they want to see. Anyway, thank you so much for reading, and I really hope you all enjoyed it! I love you guys! Bye!<3<3<3
-Avalon