HUNTER SHOVES THE last mini cupcake in his mouth and Devin shoves his shoulder. "I was gonna eat that!"
"Sorry," he says with a grin full of chocolate.
The incident at the Halloween Bash had made us all become an unlikely gang of friends, in spite of Robyn and Sebastian's mutual distaste for the other. Hayley and I were perched on the Devin's couch while Devin, Hunter, Sebastian, and Robyn were sprawled across respective chairs or the floor. We were watching some trashy reality TV show and gorging ourselves on chicken wings and whatever else Devin had in his pantry.
Thanksgiving was this Thursday and the other guys already planned a potluck since most of their families weren't going to be around for dinner. Sebastian's parents had business out of state—I wasn't entirely sure what they did when he'd briefly mentioned it, but they were in Belize working out deals for their newest hotel chain. Devin's parents were staying at their home in Aspen for a couple's retreat; he'd said they didn't really want him to go and he saw no joy in being there. Hunter's family was dining together, but he'd rather stay with his friends.
Robyn, Hayley, and I had obligations to our families on Thursday, but I'd brought up the idea to have the potluck that Friday instead. I knew as soon as I'd shared the potential plan with Sebastian that it was a good idea. His eyes lit up as soon as I'd told him about it.
We didn't talk about the words I wasn't able to say after the prank or his awful relationship with his parents or my growing feelings for him. Most of the time we spent together was him giving me surf lessons. It'd become a weekend ritual for us to wake up at the butt crack of dawn and spend the entire Saturday together. It easily became my favorite day of the week.
"No way! How could they eliminate him? Look at that face!" Robyn screeches, throwing a napkin at the TV. Devin looks over at her, a small smile on his face. He looks away before anyone can notice and I fight a smile.
Hayley plays around with my hand before lacing her fingers through mine. I smile at her with as much feeling as I can before turning back to the show.
Things between Hayley and I were weird, to say the least.
She didn't know about my confusion with my sexuality. How could I even start that conversation? "Hey, Hayley, you're hot and everything but I think I might be gay!" Hayley was a great girl and I didn't just want to let her go if I wasn't sure about who I was first. For all I knew, this "crush" on Sebastian could be temporary, just him and I becoming good friends.
But if that was the case, it didn't explain why the world seemed to stop spinning every time he looked at me.
"He looks like he's in his forties, Robs," I mumble, rubbing circles on Hayley's leg. "Doubt he could even keep up with those kids."
She tosses a pillow at me. "You're a dork."
"You're a child," I hiss back and she flicks me off playfully. My eyes instinctively look over to Sebastian but his gaze is trained on his phone. He stares at the screen, chuckling softly to himself. "Something funny?" I ask, trying my hardest to fight any jealousy in my voice. Judging by a glance from Robyn, I'd failed.
Sebastian looks up at me, his eyes strikingly blue. The bruises he'd had were practically a memory now, yellowing against his skin. "Oh. It's nothing."
"Can't be nothing," Hayley says, reaching over and grabbing his phone. "You've been smiling at it for thirty minutes."
Sebastian pouts as she stares at the phone, a smirk appearing on her face. "Who's Dana?" she asks, shooting her brows up suggestively. I feel my stomach clench.
"A girl," he responds, grabbing his phone back. "A friend."
Hayley giggles, tucking herself underneath my arm. Did Sebastian's jaw clench as she did or was I making things up? "I don't text my friends like that."
Sebastian glances at me once and sighs. "Whatever," he mumbles in the end, returning back to his phone and turning his back to us.
I stare at his sandy blonde hair and try my hardest to swallow the lump in my throat and squash the longing in my stomach. My phone chirps and I grab it, glancing at the caller ID. It was a number I didn't recognize, but I answer anyways.
"Hello?" I ask, frowning softly. "Who is this?"
"Braylen Adams?" a feminine voice asks.
I nod even though they clearly couldn't see me. "Yes. This is?"
"I'm Veronica. I'm an officer in the police force in Maine," she says.
I frown deeper. "Okay?"
She sighs softly. "I'm very sorry to have to do this over phone; I understand it's not ideal. I'm afraid I have some bad news. Your father, Yuko Nakamura died in a car accident last night. He was killed on sight. I'm very sorry."
The sounds of the room disappear. The only thing I could hear was the faint sound of keyboards clicking from her side of the call. She was no doubt sitting at a desk in a pencil skirt, no sympathy on her face. I swallow hard. "Mr. Adams? Are you still there?"
"Why are you calling me?" I spit, the words causing everyone to look over at me. My lip quivers a bit but I hold it together, breathing out of my nostrils.
"You're his son. I—"
"I am not his anything," I hiss. "You want to tell his family? I'm sure they would love to be notified. But I don't know anyone named Yuko Nakamura."
The woman sighs. Clearly, I wasn't helping her follow her protocol. "Mr. Adams, I—"
I pull away from the phone and click the red End Call button with my thumb, tucking a loose strand of hair that'd fallen out of my small ponytail behind my ear. "Brayls? What's happened?" Robyn asks, fear in her voice. Sebastian was looking at me again, as was everyone else.
When I speak, my voice is completely void of emotion. "My father is dead," I say, as casually as I'd say my own name. Robyn's shoulders crumple and Devin's brows furrow together in sadness. I could practically see the condolences being formed on their tongue so I push myself off the seat and storm out of the room, not sure I could handle their apologies.
I grab my coat and push open Devin's huge doors, thinking I was heading out into his front yard. Instead I was led to the same backyard Sebastian and I looked down on weeks ago. It was much more beautiful when I was down here though, a garden of flowers surrounding the bright blue water. I sigh softly, staring up at the moon and shoving my cold hands into my pocket.
"Hey."
I turn around and see Sebastian standing there, his slightly less tanned skin red from the cold of the night. He hadn't bothered to fix his jacket that I'm sure he'd thrown on quickly, and the collar was sticking up. I would have smiled if I weren't so peeved off.
I turn away from him as he stands next to me and looks up at the moon. "It's pretty, isn't it?" he says softly as we stare at the sky. "It controls the tides. The moon, I mean. Something about it's gravitational pull...I don't know, I'm not good with astronomy. But I think it's cool. How something a billion miles away controls something all the way down here. Puts things in perspective, yeah?"
I tear my eyes from the moon, instead focusing on the shrubbery. "Can you go?"
I don't look at him but I can feel him tense up next to me. "I don't think you should be alone."
"Do you see me crying?" I spit, looking up at him. "Evidently, I'm fine. So just go inside before you get sick or something, okay?"
Sebastian licks his lips, breathing softly. "Brayls..."
"You know what? I'll go inside," I say, turning around and walking past him. I make it all of three steps before he grabs my wrist, forcing me to turn around and look at him.
The moonlight shines on his face and the reflection of the pool water illuminates his skin. He was glowing, and the sun wasn't even out. I try to keep my eyes on his but they trail down to his lips with a mind of their own. I take a deep breath to steady myself. "Braylen," he murmurs. I'll never know what he was going to say because I walk the remaining distance up to him and plant my mouth right on his.
He pushes me back instantly, eyes wide in confusion. I half expect him to punch me, but he doesn't. He just looks at me a little longer. I don't know how long we stand there sizing each other up but each second causes a new wave of embarrassment to wash over me.
I open my mouth to speak but before I can say anything to try and salvage our relationship, he's grabbing my face and bringing his lips back down to mine.
Sebastian's lips are smooth but he kisses me roughly, burying his long fingers into my hair and forcing it out of the rubber band that was holding it together. He seems happy to have it free as he tugs on the strands softly, causing soft groans to leave my mouth. I hold onto his waist, pulling him against me as close as I can and falling in love with the perfect way our bodies molded together.
He was clearly used to being the dominant one when it came to kissing, but I didn't mind. It felt so strange having him kissing me like this when I'd spent all these weeks staring at his lips, wishing they were on mine. Sebastian bites my bottom lip gently and a soft moan escapes my mouth. He takes that chance to slide his tongue into my mouth, kissing me as if his life depended on it.
My hands balled up the thick material of his jacket as I sighed against his mouth, wishing I could stay this way forever. We both pull away slowly and I peel open my eyes, waiting for the regret to hit me. His blue eyes stare back at me, waiting to see how I'd respond to getting the best kiss I'd ever had from the person I was supposed to hate the most.
But the regret doesn't come. And he's still looking at me.
I press my lips together and bring my head into his chest, pulling him in for a hug. He obliges easily, wrapping his strong arms around me. "Sorry," I whisper.
He chuckles huskily. "I wasn't complaining."
I blush against his shirt, wishing I could hide against him forever. "I think I just ruined everything."
Sebastian pulls away a bit, looking at me. He brings his thumb up to my lip, rubbing it softly. "Some things need a little ruining."
I smile softly. Sebastian's brows furrow and he takes my hand, leading me to a bench tucked away in Devin's backyard. I follow him without a word, sliding onto the black bench next to him. I'm happy when he doesn't seem to shy away from me, instead sitting down so that our sides are touching. "We've gotta talk about this," he murmurs, his fingers sliding up and down my leg. I was surprised how quickly we'd transitioned from friends to this, surprised to see that it hadn't taken much effort at all. It almost felt like nothing had changed.
"Which 'this' are you referring to?" I stall.
He smirks softly. "Whichever you want."
I nod, shutting my eyes tightly before reopening them. He's still looking at me, something between adoration and sadness tinting his eyes. "He left us. When my mom found out she was pregnant."
Sebastian nods. "You never talk about him."
"I don't have anything to say," I admit, glancing at my lap and his fingers on me. "I didn't know him, Sebastian. I was maybe thirteen when I found him on social media. He's changed, apparently." I laugh bitterly.
"I'd become so numb to him," I mumble, scoffing. "I built up walls and walls until he was nothing but a rogue thought. He's got a new wife and kids. Or had, rather. Now he's left them too, I guess."
I sigh, looking up at the sky. Sebastian intertwines our fingers and I relish in the feeling of his hands on mine. "I thought I'd have a few more years before I received that call," I admit.
"I'm sorry," Sebastian murmurs. "You're so strong, Braylen. I don't think I could go through half of what you did and still be as good as you are."
I smile softly at him. "We've all got crap," I say, echoing his words from that night on the roof when I told him about my mom. He smiles back, remembering the words. "Thank you."
"Of course," he whispers back. He seems to hesitate for a second before speaking again.
"Is there anything else you want to talk about?"
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thank you for reading ! see you monday 💗