"I can't believe how wrong we were."
I sighed as I finished braiding my hair back. "I know, Tash. I know." We were standing at one of the large windows of the ship looking out at the cruiser that Admiral Holdo was piloting. I leaned my head on Tash's as she leaned on my shoulder. We stood like that for some time, watching the blasts from the Order's ship bouncing off of the weakening shield.
"What do you think Poe is going to think when he wakes up?" The woman asked with a humorous tone. I huffed out a breath, allowing a small smile to form.
"He will probably lose his shit until he realizes what is going on. I'm sure Leia will talk him down. She's good at that."
"That she is," a deep voice said from behind us.
We both spun around to see the pilot leaning against the wall. Tash threw her hands up in the air. "How is it that you were stunned not too long ago and you still look this good?!" I laughed at her, shaking my head while raising a brow at the man. He shot us a wink before coming to stand by my side and grabbing my hand.
"How are you feeling, love? I didn't know you had woken up." I asked as I gave his hand a soft squeeze.
"Sore, but fine. Panicked when I woke up, but Leia and I had a talk." He walked over to the other wall, pointing at a small planet in the distance. "That's Crait- an old rebel outpost that should have enough ammo and power for us to get a distress signal to our allies."
Tash nodded in understanding. "Anything to get us out of the sky. I know you guys are all ga-ga over it but I'm ready to plant my feet on the ground."
As I went to turn to Poe, one of the transports outside of the window went up in flames. Tash screamed out grasping my arm. Poe exited the room and I followed, gathering with Leia in the front of our ship. "They've found out our plan."
I panicked as I grabbed for the pager at my side, knowing it wouldn't work from my ship to the others, but needing to send something to Ezra and my team. I had no idea which ship they were all on. No signal came back as I paged him.
We watched as ship after ship was plucked off before our main cruiser spun and faced the Order.
"Holdo... is she..." I heard Tash whisper from beside me. I pulled her close, realizing that the Admiral was giving the ultimate sacrifice for us and The Resistance. We all watched in wonder as she kicked the cruiser into light speed, cutting straight through Snoke's ship and shooting shrapnel out to destroy the others.
There was no celebration. No cheering. Just gratitude and sorrow filling our transport, knowing we had lost many lives, but not knowing who.
Those feelings followed us into Crait. It looked like a snowy planet until you were on it. The salt flew across the ground as a light wind blew, and I could taste the substance on my tongue. I exited our ship, looking to the others in the hopes of seeing my team. Panic gripped my chest as people filed out, but I saw a few faces that eased it. Zane was the first- looking around with wide eyes before seeing me, breaking into a run.
"Dr. Dreis," he said with relief flooding his voice. I met him with a hard embrace, feeling him shaking slightly beneath my arms.
"I'm so happy to see you," I whispered. Tears were pricking the back of my eyes as I held him back and looked over him. "Tash is in that ship," I said pointing to the one I had come from. "Go find her and stay with her until we get further command, okay?"
He ran off with a nod, and I continued my search for my team among the remaining ships. Two more of my medics met me, visibly upset as the realization that they survived by chance hit them with all its force. I sent them to Tash as well, starting to get frantic as there was only one last ship.
"Ezra!" I yelled with a hoarse voice, pushing past those who were exiting the transports. "Have you seen Dr. Fannin?" I asked no one in particular. No answers came as everyone made their way to General Organa down the way. The crowd around me cleared away as a sob escaped my lips. As I fell to my knees on the salty earth, I was pulled into Poe's chest and he rocked me gently back and forth.
"It will be okay, doc." He whispered into my hair. Those words ignited an angry fire within my belly. I pulled away from my love and quickly stood.
"How can you even say that, Poe? We are stuck on this god-forsaken salt rock with no idea what we are going to find once we break into that ratty-ass, abandoned base-" I paused momentarily to clear the catch in my throat before trying to continue on my rant, which the pilot let me get out of my system. "If I would've just kept my team toge- I've lost the majority of my team, my family! Ezra is gone-"
A confused voice came from behind me. "Who said I was gone?"
I spun around to be greeted by disheveled blonde hair. Ezra was walking to us with a sad smile.
"Where the fuck were you?!"
"Just getting some things off of the ship... Si, I'm so sorry. I told everyone to split among the ships in case any medical emergencies happened. I never thought- I thought we'd all make it." His voice broke with the burden of guilt that I felt myself. I pulled him to me, holding his head against my shoulder as we cried over the losses our team had suffered.
"You couldn't have known, Ezra. I would've done the same thing." Pulling away, I briefly looked behind me to see Poe helping others into the old base, giving Ezra and I some privacy. "Come on, a few of us survived at least. We need to be the other's support as well."
The next few hours consisted of many tears but also a glimmer of hope. The old base had plenty of weapons that were left abandoned, and it looked like we'd be able to get a transmission out to the rest of the Resistance support. After making sure my team was okay, I excused myself from the group and wandered to the back of the cave where it was quiet.
I slid down the wall and brought my knees to my chest, allowing tears to freely fall down my face. I was forever reminded just how fragile and precious life is. Our tally of the dead wasn't even done yet, but it was one of the biggest casualties we have had since my time with the Resistance. There was no stopping it this time, no saving.
It caused a shift within myself. My heart felt like it was being pulled in two directions- the path I have been on most of my life to heal, and the path to prevent. Truly prevent. And the only way to prevent another attack like this from happening was to eliminate the Order once and for all. I was one of the handful of skilled fliers still remaining, and I knew I could be an asset to the fighter power of our group. Ezra could handle being the head of our small med team now. All I had to do was convince Poe and Leia that this was the right move.
"Doc?" I turned my head to rest it on my knees, watching Poe walk through the dust towards me. "You okay?"
"I'll be fine. Just needed a moment to clear my head is all." I held my hand out to the pilot who grasped it as he sat next to me. We sat in silence for a bit until his smooth voice broke it.
"What are the chances that Finn, Rose and BB-8 made it out alive?" His voice was laced with sorrow and anger. I moved closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder.
"I don't know, love. I don't know. However if there was even a glimmer of a chance to escape, I believe they would've found it."
Poe placed his hand on my leg, lightly massaging the sore muscle. "I hope you're right."
"Have we figured out a plan yet?"
He shook his head. "Not yet. We are going to let everyone rest before we jump into that. I think we all deserve it." He looked over to my fidgeting hands before looking at me with a raised brow. "Sienna... what's bothering you?"
I was concerned with how the others would react to my plan, but I knew leaning into my Dreis bloodline was the right thing to do. I sighed, standing up and pacing for a moment before turning to him. "I need to discuss something with you, Ezra and Leia." Poe immediately looked worried as he stood in front of me, searching my eyes.
"Is something wrong? You're kind of freaking me out with that tone, doc."
A small laugh escaped me. "Nothing is wrong. In fact, I'd say it's good news I want to share, but I'm not sure if you'll agree..." I was being very vague, but I had a feeling I'd need Leia by my side before I broke my revelation to the pilot.
The small scar above his brow was more prominent as he furrowed it. He grabbed my face in his hands gently. "Si, are you pregnant or something?"
My eyes grew wide as I realized I could've been eluding to that. "Wha- no! No, Poe, I'm not pregnant." I gave him a puzzled look a second later. "Stars. Why would I need to share that with all of you at the same time? Especially Ezra?"
Poe held his hands up in surrender, a small grin on his face. "Hey I don't know, doc, it's just what came to mind!"
"Dameron, let's get one thing straight. If I were to get pregnant 'or something,' you'd be the first to know." I placed my hands on my hips with an exaggerated eye roll as he laughed. He then walked up to me, placing his hands on my hips as well, tracing his thumbs over the edge of my stomach.
"Well just so you know, I don't think anything in this galaxy could make me happier than you carrying our child, Sienna Dreis." The sincerity of his words struck me hard, and I pulled his mouth to mine in a deep kiss to try to convey what I felt in that moment. If we weren't in the middle of an old cave with a group of people across the way, I'd have him take me against the salt walls. But that'd have to wait.
He pulled away, resting his forehead against mine. "Maybe one day when this is all over, huh?" his voice whispered out.
I smiled for what felt like the first time in days. "One day."