jeno's phone
sunday 11:39 pm
sung <3
i can't believe i'm doing this
but i am asking for permission to
ask out your sister
sung <3: oh god don't do this to me
sung <3: why not just do it and save
me the embarrassment of this
because i want to get your official permission
sung <3: ugh
sung <3: thats cringe ngl
sung <3: but i thought i already said
you could go ahead
did you?
sung <3: didn't i?
i don't think you did
i don't remember
sung <3: okay maybe i didn't i don't actually remember either
so?
do i have your blessings to ask out
your sister?
sung <3: oh god can you not
sung <3: yeah go just ugh don't ask
me things like that again
sung <3: only on one condition will i
give you permission tho
sung <3: but i'm pretty sure you already know what that is
don't hurt her?
sung <3: correct
i won't i promise
sung <3: good because if you do that
will cost our friendship
i'll remember that
don't worry
sung <3: okay good
thank you
sung <3: ?? you're welcome ig
-
jeno's phone
sunday 11:49 pm
oof
r y'all still awake
hyuck <3: of course, do u think
i'm weak?
nana <3: ya im awake
sung <3: u know i am
lele <3: me too!
okay but y are u stil awake we
have school tomorrow
nana <3: you asked dude
nana <3: i was just about to get
my beauty sleep but u rudely interrupted
hyuck <3: not like that sleep will
do anything
nana <3: because i'm always beautiful?
awe thanks hyuck!
hyuck <3: no nothing you do will fix
hyuck <3: this
hyuck <3:
nana <3: holy hell i'm hot af
lele <3: you were saying something
jeno?
thank you chenle
sung <3: is this about y/n
how'd you know 🤨
sung <3: alr im going to bed then gn
no stay
sung <3: i feel awkward af tho
please
sung <3: no thanks <3
nana <3: just stay with us
sung <3: i hate you
sung <3: fine
im gonna ask her out
nana <3: fUCKING finally
nana <3: holy shit
hyuck <3: oh damn
nana <3: took you goddamn long
enough
lele <3: wow! nice!
sung <3: was that it? alr night
no it isn't
i have a question
should i ask her out in a specific
way?
lele <3: you never overthink asing someone out
lele <3: just do as you normally do
should i?
nana <3: the only difference is that
this time he actually is scared of rejection
nana <3: cute
nana <3: maybe give her a little
something
hyuck <3: yeah maybe
lele <3: oh like flowers or something
sung <3: cliché
sung <3: she'll probably like it ngl
what's her favorite flower?
sung <3: okay but y should i know
you're her brother idk
lele <3: what about sunflowers?
they're cute!
sung <3: yeah go with them
you sure?
sung <3: tbh i really don't think
she cares about flowers
sung <3: or well
sung <3: she isn't expecting them
at least so it really doesn't matter
what type you choose
lele <3: i'm on team sunflower
nana <3: yeah me too
hyuck <3: choose whatever you
want man
hyuck <3: choose what you think is
most suitable
okay
thank you guys
nana <3: good luck and go get her <3
i will !
-
jeno's phone
monday 12:02 am
gorgeous
hey uhm
i need to talk to you, so let's meet
up after school tomorrow, yeah?
or well later today i guess lol
yeah that was about it
goodnight gorgeous
sleep tight <3
-
jeno placed the phone beside his head on the bed. it was getting pretty late, and he wanted to feel on top the next day. even more if he really had the nerves to actually ask you out. it was way different from other girls, because this time he actually felt something, this time he actually feared rejection. maybe his nerves were the reason he had a hard time falling asleep.
he wasn't even quite sure what he'd do if you rejected him, he had never felt this way around anyone before. his heart always hammered in his chest when he got something as small as a text from you. there was a tickling feeling inside of him everytime he saw you, and he got the overwhelming urge to see your smile and hear your laugh all the time. his hands got all clammy and he was nervous about messing up.
holy shit, he wasn't sure if he was falling in love or getting sick. it was weird and new. it was thrilling and really fucking terrifying at the same time. jeno didn't mean to, he really didn't mean to let his thoughts wander. but did every girl they played with feel like this about him and jaemin? that must've been horrible now that he thought about it. jeno knew that what they had been doing was bullshit, he knew him and jaemin probably didn't deserve being loved because of what they had been doing.
they had been absolute assholes to play around with feelings like that. why did they even do it? because it was fun? maybe it was in the beginning, but it only made jeno feel more empty along the way he realized now. they had been absolute assholes, but it was never too late to change their ways, right?
when he had asked you out, and he'd hopefully be able to call you all his for real, he'd take jaemin with him and apologize to all the girls. all the girls made it sound like him and jaemin had played with all girls at school, which was far from the truth. they had been through a handful and that was about it, but it was definitely enough to give them a reputation at school. he was going to apologize to all the girls, give them closure and tell them that they are worth it. tell them that it was because something was wrong with him and jaemin, not them.
even though he made that promise to himself, he didn't feel less heavy in his chest. the weight was still there. it was as if someone was screaming in his head, screaming the same four words over and over again.
you don't deserve her.
jeno took a deep breath and rolled onto his side. why was sleep so far away? for a second he stopped trying to fall asleep, this time purposely letting his thoughts wander to you. you made him feel calm and maybe that was what he needed right now. he thought back to the day where he spent all day with you. he had been the happiest that day. he thought back to the way your eyes widened when he mentioned your favorite show, how they shined, and as cheesy and corny as it was, how your eyes put the stars to shame. he remembers you placing your legs in his laps, and he remembers holding himself back from actually squealing. jeno felt warm inside.
you don't deserve her.
the warmth disappeared. jeno smiled, his smile not reaching his eyes, and his smile not coming from his heart. he was falling in love but he didn't deserve one bit of it.