"I lived with my husband, Joran, and his parents, Hector and Lenora", Asper started.
Thatcher closed her eyes, laying flat on her back.
"We had two kids, RJ and Kiara. Joran's parents, they were old enough to have been in the first wave of refugees from the Southern Wars... Both had suffered, they suffered so much... But they fled anyway, not wanting the violence anymore. There were hundreds of them, they couldn't go North for fear of getting caught up in the wars, so they went south, knowing that it was generally too cold for any settlement to establish themselves.
But they did... Against all odds, they made it. They set up. Nothing fancy, a small community of a thousand on the edge of the water, where the snow hardly fell. It was still cold. People became cold. Fighting over food, over water, over everything.
It was five years before the split. When a group decided to venture north. Hector and Lenora went with them, wanting a life for their baby, my husband.
The people that took them, they were truly the most evil. But they were clever. They had a boat. 'Go North', they said, to the land of the sun. The thing was, it was occupied, as all lands are -- bar for the south. But these... monsters... they cared nothing for the people who lived there...
Hector and Lenora watched, as they tore children limb from limb... tore heads from shoulders... They knew that it wouldn't be long until they too faced that fate. Until Joran was killed in the same way.
They did what they had to do, and stole the boat, and sailed back south to where they'd departed. But that same cancer they left the south to avoid, it was still there, still metastasizing.
There were good people, but they were incredibly few and far between.
The community had split into three, four, different camps, all across this vast, snowy landmass.
I grew up in the mountains, eating goats and drinking melted snow. My parents, they were good people, just as Hector and Lenora were. But they didn't last long out of the comfort of Zedeylia. When it split into two, into Rebury and Zedeylia, they wanted to go north, to Rebury, to where the quote 'good men' lived.
I was six when they decided to relocate. They were late to flee the fighting, you see. While Hector and Lenora got away unseen, my parents were traitors to the cause. They were the enemy, as far as both Rebury and Zedeylia was concerned. It didn't matter to them, they believed that they'd be welcomed into Rebury, as it was where the good of them ended up.
They'd believed in it, at first, but the violence was too much for them to deal with. But it seemed as if it were over, finally, with Rebury being an independent state...".
"If it's any consolation, the fighting between them was never over", Thatcher tried to sound reassuring but felt like she was merely interrupting.
"They died. Not by violence, but froze to death trying to cross a lake one night. So I carried on. Until Hector and Lenora found me. Joran was eight, I was six, they thought it was a good fit. We never grew up as siblings. They always treated me as a friend, merely on an extended sleepover. I had freedom, to grow, to live, to be myself. By the time I was eighteen, we'd been chased out of seven different villages by people stealing our food.
Every time we set up, they would come, and take it. So we held a vote - stay or fight.
The answer was to fight. We painted our legs to distinguish from one and other. We arranged a hierarchy so that it was never confusing on who you took orders from, and we fought them. Not once did we win. They were brutal, horrible people, and we were old, weak, or otherwise uninterested in anything other than living a peaceful life".
Thatcher licked her lips, absorbed in the yarn being spun, Asper took a deep breath.
"And that was our life, for the following dozen years".
"When did things change?", Thatcher asked intently, opening her eyes for a quick flash before snapping them shut once again.
"Bout twenty-six months back".
Thatcher knew what was coming, how could she not? She hadn't seen Asper with children.
*
Asper woke with Jorans muscular arms wrapped tightly around her. The shack creaked under the weight of snow on the roof, growing particularly loud as the wind blustered through.
"Where'ya'garn?", Joran groaned as she wriggled out of his grip, not once did he open his eyes.
The crisp chill of the morning bit at Aspers' body as she pulled her ash stained black robes over her body.
"I'll be back shortly", she whispered, "just going to get breakfast".
"Wait", he snapped upward, "I'll come with you".
"Relax", she pushed him back into bed, "the village has been quiet, I'll be fine on my own".
"You sure?", Joran looked Asper deep in the eye and asked.
"I've got my knife, I'll be safe".
With a peck on the lips, Asper bounced out the bedroom door and turned into a shabby little hallway.
A few short steps outside and she was in the heart of the village they'd been camped in.
A narrow lane led up to the town center, wherein a community garden lay overflowing with weeds.
As she walked, Asper kept her ears pricked for any movement. Nothing stirred. No animal nor human seemed yet to be awake.
There was naught but the ticketing of cicadas and the tweeting of nearby birds.
Ice crunched beneath her feet as she approached the square garden. Wrapping her hand tight around a few assorted stalks, she tugged upward, wrenching a couple of loose carrots and beetroots from their soily home.
Within minutes she was back in her rickety kitchen, slicing the vegetables into a pot of boiling water, hoisted over a campfire established in the soil in the middle of the room.
The sounds of people stirring grew louder as the village roused from their collective slumber.
Stirring gently, Asper glanced up as Lenora and Hector sat silently at the table on the far side of the room nearest the door.
"The kids awake yet?", Asper asked.
Lenora shook her head tiredly. Asper nodded in acknowledgment, noting Joran entering the room and plinking down next to her.
"Everything all right?", he asked quietly.
"Yes. I told you it would be".
She smiled, jutting her cheek out so he could plant a kiss on her sullen bones.
"We'll wake the kids after we eat", Hector coughed.
His wrinkled face seemed to cave in on itself as he croaked wheezily.
"Sounds good", Asper gave a weak smile.
Joran nudged Asper lightly, and gently pulled the wooden ladle from her hands - "I'll do it for a mo", he smiled and stirred the pot. Asper lent a smile and leaned back onto her elbows.
"What's the plans for the day?", Hector coughed.
Asper inhaled, a slight whiff of smoke pootered up her nose.
"Was thinking about heading down the river, fish for a bit", Asper bit the inside of her cheek.
"Bit cold for that", Lenora tittered.
"We need to start complementing the vegetables, Ma", Joran looked over the pot and shook his head.
"The garden running low?", Hector glanced over to the middle of the room.
"Mhmm", Joran nodded through a stack of steam, "and obviously with the entire village eating from the pot, we've got no choice".
"You need to take someone with you", Lenora nodded curtly toward Asper.
"I am entirely capable of handling myself, you know?", Asper looked towards Lenora and Joran.
"She's right, I've spent enough time hunting with her to know she doesn't need a babysitter", Hector defended.
"Cheers, dad", Joran frowned.
"He's right, I don't need supervision to go fucking fishing".
"Okay", Joran dumped the ladle in the pot and raised his hands apprehensively.
"Thank you", Asper tried relaxing her frown but the lines of annoyance remained.
"What else is on the agenda?", Lenora asked.
Hector folded his arms - "the roof needs tending to, and I guess we need to start hoeing out the yard, maybe we could start planting our own vegetables".
"Alright", Asper nodded, "I'll go the river, you get the kids up to do the yard, and Hector can do the roof".
"Sounds a plan", Hector nodded in agreement.
Asper sat on the muddy banks of the river, a light fluttering of snow falling around her.
Tugging her line back from the chilly river, a wave of disappointment rolled over her - the line was empty.
Reluctantly, she stuffed eight large salmon into her flax rucksack and stood.
The sky was bleak, a canopy of dense cloud cover. She bounced merrily down the bank towards the treeline, the rustling of trees filling her ears.
Asper fought the urge to quicken her pace, it was infrequently that she got a minute to herself.
The smell of smoke grew stronger, stinging her eyes.
Approaching the edge of the treeline into the village, Asper knew something wasn't right.
It was a loose carrot laying amongst the smattering of snow beneath her feet that caught her eye first. She crouched and bent it. Snapping in her fingers, she knew it was fresh.
Smoke billowed around her, the smell of blood sent the hairs on the back of her neck towards the sky.
She slowly moved behind a thick oak trunk and listened. Nothing... Nothing but wind and leaves and the faint trickling of water from the community water supply.
Taking a deep breath, Asper pulled a dagger from her rucksack and crept towards the village.
It'd been an hour, most, what had happened?
Her breath shook as she moved, snake-like, towards her shack.
She collapsed outside her front yard. Her two children, eviscerated for the world to see, Joran lay between them with his skull flayed. Innards covered their yard like some sick art display.
Asper felt her chest grow heavy, a yowl boiling inside her throat, but she knew she could not scream.
She didn't enter the house - why would she? If Joran and her children were dead, in what state would she find Hector and Lenora?
Hot tears spilled over her face, she spat angrily to the ground.
Grief quickly traded out for rage, and deliberately she raised herself to her feet. Her knuckles grew white around the wooden dagger blade.
She stalked through the village, looking for a sign - anything that would lead her to her family's slaughterers.
The community garden she'd visited only that morning was now gone, the vegetable plucked from the soil in such haste that dirt lay strewn three streets either side of it.
Blood covered the ground, bodies lay outside of homes, homes that'd been ransacked and looted for whatever could be looted.
She stopped outside the town meeting hall and took stock of what she could see.
North was nothing more than blood and rubbish, the same for east and south.
Going west, however, seemed to be an indeterminate trail of scuffs in the dirt road.
With a deep breath, she entered the town hall.
There couldn't have been a tonne of people who'd committed this crime, Asper reasoned, as they'd left behind a variety of tools, weapons, and other assorted goodies.
The town hall kitchen and armory were always well-stocked, and as she rifled through a drawer of knives, she guessed that less than a third of them had actually been taken.
Weighing up in her mind how many houses had been looted, she estimated that less than fifteen people (with rucksacks) would have been looting in her village that morning.
She piled knives into her bag, before moving across the kitchen and into the armory.
Bows and arrows still stood on the wall, pinned tight.
She moved quickly, knowing that she needed to rush lest she lose the trail of those she was hunting.
Wedging garlic on the arrowheads, Asper stuffed them into her bag, before moving onwards.
Taking a torch from the wall as she left the town hall, Asper took the western road out of the village and reentered the bushland.
Forty-five minutes later, Asper was crouched behind a log, just beyond the small group she assumed had attacked her village. As guessed earlier,
With the torch, she ignited the garlic on the tip of the arrowhead - "drop it", a voice snarled behind her.
Asper didn't turn around, instead, she pulled the bowstring tighter.
"I said fucking drop it! Or this knife's going in the base of your fucking skull!", the voice snarled again.
Shaking, Asper lowered her weapon, only to be met with a WHOMPF in the back of her head.
She immediately felt blood trickle down her neck.
"Where have you come from?", the snarling voice asked.
"The fucking village you just raided, you pig shit motherfuc-", she was walloped in the head before she could finish her stream of vitriol.
Rubbing her skull, she turned to view her assailant. Tall, but young, with a tuft of black hair cropping his head, he stood over her with a sword in one hand, and a balled-up fist in the other.
"I have no clue what the fuck you're talking about", he replied.
"An hour east of here! I've followed the fucking trail!", Asper felt her voice crack.
The man nodded towards a stack of bodies near the campfire.
Asper glanced over - half of her was relieved the problem had already been dealt with, the other half of her was mildly disappointed she hadn't been the one to take care of it.
The man held out a hand and lifted Asper to her feet.
"Antone", he said quietly.
"Asper", she greeted.
Come nightfall, the group had become well acquainted with Asper.
With Antone and Asper the only two awake, they sat around the campfire.
"Two months", Antone answered.
"What? Just wandering around?", Asper asked back.
"Have you not been doing the exact same thing?".
"Yeah, but we've been setting up permanent settlements in villages, trying to make a life", Asper retorted.
"How's that going for you?", Antone asked bitterly.
"Come on! It's gotta be better than living like this", Asper gestured around them, to the dark sodden forest.
"We have tents, and food, and caves on the odd occasion", Antone scowled.
"So tomorrow we head back to your camp?", Asper asked curiously.
"Exactly".
"And then what? We just spend our lives running?".
"What else do you need from life, Asper?", Antone asked.
She was stumped.
"My husband and kids were murdered this morning... People who raised me, died, this morning, and I haven't even had a spare minute to think about that, let alone ponder the existential wonderings of the meaning of life", Asper replied solemnly.
"I mean", Antone shrugged, "that kind of answers the question, doesn't it? You want time to mourn".
"Yeah, but then what? We get raided again? Attacked? Then more mourning?".
"You're thinking about this too much, you gotta take it one day at a time".
"That's what happens today, but what about tomorrow?".
"Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow", Antone put succinctly.
"You're missing the point", Asper was growing mildly frustrated, "how am I supposed to know how much energy to spend today if I don't know what I'm getting back tomorrow?".
"You don't know. You just spend all of it and hope that things turn out okay", Antone laid back and looked up over the canopy of leaves, "try and shut your mind off and go to sleep. It's a long walk back to the Alps".
Asper tried doing as she was told, but her mind could not empty.
Walking out of the small camp the following morning, Aspers' body was heavy. She had hardly slept, and her eyes grew lidded - dark bags shrouded them entirely.
It took three hours trudging west before they reached the base of the Alps.
A treacherous mountain, covered in snow, it seemed as though the Alps only went in one real direction - up.
After another hours climb, the tiny alpine encampment came into view.
The sound of children giggling and playing in the snow moved Asper to tears, though she repressed them, visibly struggling not to think about her own children as the tiny gang moved forward through the camp and toward a tent near the rear.
An older woman, with greying hair, climbed out of the tent.
"Antone, a new friend?", the woman shifted her eyes to Asper.
"Asper", Antone introduced them.
Asper held out her hand, and the old woman clasped it warmly - "Helen".
"Thank you, for allowing me into your camp", Asper croaked.
"Where've you come from, love?", Helen asked.
"East... A small village near the river", Antone chopped in before Asper had the time to respond, "she says they were attacked, the village massacred, their food stolen".
"Well, my dear, let's get you inside, fed and watered", Helen smiled and lead Asper into the tent, where a hot bucket of soup sat boiling over a tiny fire cut into the dirt at the rear opening of the tent.
Asper stood hunched over in the tent, looking lost.
"You alright, dear?", Helen spoke after a moment.
Asper shook her head.
Helen gently pushed her down onto the bed on the right side of the small tent.
Without words, she scooped a spoonful of pumpkin soup into a small ceramic bowl and passed it to Asper, who sipped it wordlessly.
"I don't need to ask what you've been through, do I?".
"No", Asper croaked.
"Eat, and rest". Helen stood and left Asper alone to listen to the noise of the camp.
*
Asper awoke that night, the sound of singing roused her into the dark. A flickering glow of fire beyond the tent beckoned her, the boiling pot behind her now cold, the fire from that extinguished.
Groggily, she crawled from the bed and saw a small crowd gathered around the campfire.
Antone hopped up and wriggled through the mass of people to greet her.
"What's going on?", Asper asked as she was dragged through a crowd of about six hundred people.
"Nothing", Antone shrugged as they sat amongst a small crowd near the fire, "it's just a small gathering to sing, eat, enjoy each other's company".
Asper smiled weakly, the warmth from the fire easing the icy cold in her bones.
The snow blew wildly, the ice biting with force, but the feeling of community seemed to wash it all away.
"How many people live here?", Asper asked Antone.
"Hmm..", he counted in his mind, "two thousand or so?", he guessed.
"Shit... We had less than three hundred in our village", Asper was visibly impressed.
"We've had months, if not years, to accumulate people from around the place", Antone spoke gravely, "people running scared, people we helped... People like you".
"Yeah", Asper looked up to the fire absently. A small woman led the group in song.
It was a slow, mournful, tune, something stirred inside Asper as she listened.
The fire reflected brightly in her eyes, glinting.
The next few days seemed to ease the yowl in Asper. She got busy, kept her mind off things.
Her own tent had been set up - naught more than a small blanket covered in pigs fat to help waterproof it.
Over those few days, she'd come to appreciate how large the camp actually was.
"You awake?", Helen stood at the opening of Asper's tent.
"Sure, come in", Asper beckoned.
Helen crouched and wriggled into the tent. With cracking knees, Helen crouched to the ground opposite Asper.
"What's up?", Asper asked.
"How're you settling in?".
"Fine", Asper replied. Despite her words, she didn't look fine. Her hair had grown matted, unkempt. Her eyes were baggier than ever and her lips had grown cracked.
"Okay", Helen accepted this truth without much resistance, "I've got a favor to ask you".
"Anything".
"A group is headed out tomorrow to head to a farm we've got crops at. I was wondering if you'd like to join them for harvest".
"Why me? You hardly know me".
"I see you, pottering away trying to keep your mind occupied, it'll do you good to go out and clear your head", Helen placed a motherly arm across the tent and placed it on Aspers' shoulder.
"Okay", Asper nodded, "anything else?".
"Yes, dear, as it happens. Before you go out, Ikime would like to take you up to the clearing a couple of clicks up the mountain, do some weapons training".
"Ikime?".
"My second in charge", Helen pulled back her arm and smiled.
"I thought Antone was your second in charge?", Asper asked confusedly.
Helen smiled wryly and left Asper alone with her thoughts.
The clearing wasn't far from the camp - perhaps five minutes' walk. It had a clear view of the encampment over the edge, Asper couldn't help feel it would be a great lookout point for those keeping watch at night.
Ikime swung a hefty steel pipe towards Aspers head, which she dodged swiftly, jabbing Ikime in the stomach with the tip of her own rotting log.
The log broke in two, falling to the snowy grass with a crunch.
"Good, good", Ikime nodded, taking a step back and rubbing his belly.
Asper took a deep breath, the icy air biting her nostrils.
She restanced herself, and stared down Ikime, who bolted towards her.
Her mind slipped, and Ikime wrapped his arms around her throat. Before she knew it, she was in a chokehold.
Panicked, she flipped Ikime over her shoulders, her strength no longer bound by her muscle mass. Ikime thudded to the ground, a puff of snow erupting around him, and suddenly, Asper had her fingers clenched around his throat.
"As...per...", he choked.
"ASPER!", Antone shouted from the path.
He'd appeared as if from nowhere, and was now running towards them - his black rags billowing around his legs.
With force, he wrenched Asper from Ikimes writhing frame.
Asper felt her ass growing wet from the snow - "fuck ya's!", she hissed, and stomped from the clearing back towards the trail leading down the mount.
"You okay?", Antone asked Ikime, lending a hand.
Ikime brushed himself off as he stood - "yeah... Dunno about her though".
"She's fine, and probably what we need if something goes wrong tomorrow".
"Mate, what if she snaps and turns on one of us?", Ikime asked skeptically.
"Let's not think about that... She isn't a dog, she is capable of rational thought".
Ikime obviously disagreed, but opted not to argue.
"Come", Antone gestured back to the clearing, "my turn".
The two stanced up and continued their practice.
Asper reentered the camp, the path ending nearest Helens tent.
"How'd it go?", Helen asked, exiting the tent as Asper walked past.
Asper stopped in her tracks, inhaling with her eyes closed, before turning to face Helen.
"I think it's time for me to leave", Asper shook her head.
"Nonsense, come inside and have a drink", Helen pointed to her tent.
Asper made the decision not to argue and took a seat inside the tent.
"I know you're having a time of it", Helen spoke softly, sitting opposite Asper, "I know you're struggling".
"You know?!", Asper almost shouted, "What the fuck do you know?".
Helen smiled. "That fucking smile!", Asper shouted accusatorily, "Wipe it off your fucking face!".
"Asper, settle, I'm not your enemy".
"You're my friend?", Asper scoffed.
"Asper, every single one of us here has lost something, everyone", Helen emphasized, "you might think you're alone, that no one understands you, but you're not entirely correct in that assumption. It's true that your pain is freshest, that for today it's the strongest, but one day, someone will walk into this camp and that title will become theirs, and you will need to sit where I am now and tell them what I am telling you".
Asper wanted to argue, she even leaned forward slightly, willing herself to bite back - but it was true.
"I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, Helen".
"And you won't. Not for a long time. That question will have no answer for an incredibly long time. Grief consumes you, becomes you, but it isn't you. Not really".
"How do you figure it out? Y'know... Who you are?", Asper wiped an errant tear from her eye.
"You live, Asper... And you do it every day... Today you train, and maybe cry a little", Helen gave Asper a gentle nudge, "and tomorrow you go farming, and cry a little less... But every day, you get a little closer to figuring it out".
Asper nodded wordlessly, sniffling.
The sun shone through the cloud cover, exhausting the last of its light before giving way to night.
"Get some sleep, I'll wake you when dinner is cooked", Helen pointed towards the door.
When Asper woke, the sound of hollering and terror filled the air.
For a moment, she wondered if she was still dreaming.
The blood curling screaming of a woman filled the air.
Asper bowed up. Exiting her tent, she saw nothing but sheer carnage.
Scanning the scene, she saw where she was needed - Helen, Ikime, and Antone formed a semicircle around the core entrance to the camp.
The screaming, Asper saw, was from an opposition woman who was tugging an arrow from her leg - at first impressions, Asper saw, it'd been launched into her by Helen.
"WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED!", a gravelly voice walked forward.
"IF THAT WE'RE TRUE, YOU'D'VE TAKEN THE CAMP!", Ikime boomed back.
"Stay back", Helen whispered to Asper, "let's wait and get a better sense of what the fuck is happening".
"YOU WANNA TAKE THAT GAMBLE?", the leader of the opposition replied.
"2000 TO FIFTY, I'M THINKING YES", Ikime responded.
Asper felt the movement behind her, as more people from the camp took up arms behind her.
"WE'VE TAKEN DOWN YOUR LOOKOUTS, WE'VE TAKEN THE HIGHER GROUND", the man growled back.
He walked closer until he and Ikime were nose-to-nose.
"Leave alive, or stay and fight", the man threatened.
Ikime knew what the answer was going to be, visibly, the man knew as well.
The tension grew between the two camps. Asper knew she needed to lead a group onto the clearing, but to break away now would ignite the tinderbox.
No one knew what to do.
"Time's up", the man growled, raising and dropping his arm as a signal.
Before anyone knew what was happening, it was all on.
Arrows rained down upon them from the clearing.
Antone, Ikime, and Helen charged forth, followed by more people than Asper could count.
Amongst the carnage, Asper swam through, headed towards the trail.
"GET UP TO THE TRAIL!", Asper shouted at whoever would listen to her.
A few stragglers followed her through the heaving mass. Knowing what needed to happen, she dodged an ever-thickening rain of arrows shooting right at them.
Passing Helens' tent, the sound of violence slowly tapered off.
A band of five people swarmed around Asper, three men, two women.
"We need to get up there", Asper whispered, "and take the Arrowmen out".
"We don't even know how many are up there", one of the women whispered back.
"They're a major threat, we've got two thousand men at camp pushing back the core assault, it's up to us to clear a place to retreat too, should it be necessary", Asper urged.
No more fighting was put forth. The men held their swords close, the women their arrows.
Asper locked an arrow in her bow and led the charge up the mount.
Slowly the gang of six crept.
The Arrowmen on the edge of the cliff were distracted firing down onto the camp.
Asper crouched, the other five followed.
She gestured to the men to creep forward with their words, flanking the outer edges of the Arrowmen.
To the women, she indicated that they needed to fire rapidly. Eight Arrowmen to six of them.
The sounds below were tamping down, and Asper wondered if their side was winning.
Asper gestured to the group to move.
The swordsmen moved ahead, the fabric wrapped around their feet meant they didn't make a sound as they stalked forward.
The women cocked their bows, and fired.
Two Arrowmen in the middle dropped. As the other six turned, Asper fired. Hitting the middlemost Arrowman in the chest, he dropped to the floor.
Five down. The two swordsmen swung at the men on the furthest edges, taking them down in one fell swoop.
As the three remaining men charged towards the women, they fired, dropping to the ground.
The two swordsmen approached the three freshest bodies on the ground and ensured they were dead.
"We need to get back down there", the older man spoke.
Down at the camp, Asper witnessed quite how correct Ikime was.
"Asper", Helen approached her, her frame wobbling uneasily as she hobbled over.
"How many were there?", Asper asked, noticing that a majority of the fighting was over.
"Hundred", Helen cocked her head from side to side.
"Why even bother?", Asper watched as campers raided the corpses of the bodies.
"I honestly couldn't tell you", Helen shrugged.
"How many losses on our side?", Asper peered around, trying to answer her own question.
"None, from what I can tell. Thanks, by the way, for taking out those up above".
"It was obvious", Asper replied humbly.
"Come, time to sleep", Helen walked Asper to her tent, which despite the carnage had survived.
"Aren't we going to clean up?".
"No, we'll deal with it in the morning, for now, you lot need to rest, going to be hauling back a metric buttload of food tomorrow", Helen left Asper at her tent with a smile.
*
The following morning, Asper, Helen, Ikime, and Antone left the camp. The sky was bleak but the snow had since stopped falling. An ad-hoc trail bearing south opened up for them at the base of the mountain, one that Asper had been to upset to notice when originally being led here by Antone. Ikime and Antone each held handles of a deep trailer, the wheels rattled uneasily on the dirt path.
"How far is the farm?", Asper asked Helen, the two women at the tail end of the snaking group.
"Not far, maybe an hour away", Helen replied vaguely.
"And how often do you harvest?", Asper followed up.
"Once every few weeks. We've got a group that go and tend to it every day, but this'll be the second harvest since this camp was established".
"Has that limited where you set up?", Asper asked before tacking on, "Y'know, if you have a permanent farm but temporary camps?".
"Yes", Helen sighed, "and no. If we have to move, we have to move. Sure, it's a gamble, having everything in one central location, but it's a gamble that's needed to sustain our way of life".
"Don't you ever want more?", Asper stepped over a stick.
"What else could there be?".
Asper tried to think of a way to answer that question.
"I don't know... A proper community".
"Do we not already have that?", Helen asked rhetorically.
"Sure, but, what if you had more?".
Helen stopped in her tracks. Asper took a few steps forward before she quite realized what had happened.
"We have what we need, and when we need more, we make, take or create more, there's nothing about us that needs changing", Helen sounded annoyed, but Asper got the feeling it was just an issue with tone control.
"Fair enough", Asper beckoned Helen to continue walking, and she did, "give me an example then, on how you've made more?".
Helen looked at Asper dumbfounded - "the farm".
"And that's it?".
"Look, Asper, I get that you're struggling to fit in, but whatever it is you're searching for, it won't give you the comfort you're searching for".
Something clicked inside Asper - "I'm not struggling to fit in, Helen, in fact, it's the opposite... I like it so much, like you so much, that the feeling that it's temporary is driving me insane".
Helen had nothing to reply with because she too identified with that feeling of terror.
The farm was everything Asper expected. Large fields, a small ramshackle barn, and a rotting wooden perimeter.
"Fuck", was all that Antone could muster.
It took Asper a minute to see it, as they approached the outer perimeter, but once she did, it was impossible to ignore. Rotting, wilting, vegetation, as far as the eye could see.
"It's all gone", Helen placed a wrinkled hand over her mouth and muttered.
"Come, to the barn", Ikime led them, leaving the trailer at the fence.
The four of them clambered over the rotted fenceline and headed towards the barn in the middle of the paddock.
Opening the doors, the stench of rotting fruit hit them.
"It's all gone", Ikime shook his head.
"What the fuck do we do now?", Antone looked to Helen for an answer, but none came forth.
Asper blocked her nose, thinking intently.
"Guess we pack up and return to camp", Ikime grumbled.
"Fuck that! We've got two thousand men to feed and absolutely no way of fucking doing it", Antone put his fingers to his temples and rubbed in frustration.
"I might have an idea", Asper sighed.
"Shoot", Ikime turned and faced her.
"About two years ago, my family and I stayed at a village about five kilometers from here - east - there was a clearing we'd visit. It grew green shit, y'know? Celery, cabbage, pumpkins. All wild, tonnes inedible, but also a lot of good shit, too", Asper explained, "if we can make it there, I assure you there's something we could take back".
"Asper, if all of this is ruined by the frost - why would this clearing be spared?", Helen asked solemnly.
"I can't explain it, every time there was a frost out there, this clearing was fine, I don't know why - it's like magic", Asper tried her hardest to remember.
"A magical fucking clearing?! Asper, you're speaking horseshit!", Antone spat back angrily.
"I'm not shitting you", Asper retorted defensively.
"Have we got much choice?", Ikime asked quietly.
"No... No, we don't", Helen spoke as she turned and left the barn, "Lead the way!", she shouted over her shoulders to Asper.
To Antones' surprise, Asper was telling the truth. Almost four hours later, they found themselves inside an open field, with stalks and sprouts sticking out of the muddy ground. A faded red brick fenceline towered around the field, at least 20 feet high. It was chipped and cracked in multiple locations, with more of the fence collapsed than standing. Asper, Antone, Ikime, and Helen gazed around the field, not knowing where to start.
"Get picking!", Helen could barely contain her excitement.
The four of them began digging into the earth, pulling pumpkins and potatoes as fast as they could, and piling them into the trailer.
After half an hour, the trailer was almost full, their hands were muddy, their clothes sodden.
"Think that's all we can muster, fellas", Asper laughed excitedly as Antone dumped an armful of cabbages on top of the already full trailer.
"My fingers kept scraping something over that way", Antone pointed to the southern end of the wall.
"Leave it, let's get back before sundown so people can eat", Ikime directed.
"Not so fast", Helen frowned and took a step forward, "could be something valuable".
The three of them followed Helen as she investigated.
"Show me", she instructed Antone, who promptly crouched and knocked.
It rang out hollowly, his fingers striking something metallic.
"Dig with me", Antone asked the others.
They followed his lead and started yanking at the dirt with their fingers, bit by bit a steel door emerged in the soil.
Antone pulled it open, swinging it outward to reveal a staircase leading into an inky black room.
"Do we have a torch?", Asper peered around the other three.
No one said anything, for they all knew they did not.
"Hold on", Ikime noted, leaving the group and crossing the field to the trailer stacked with vegetables.
Reaching the side of the vehicle, he pulled a loose piece of wood from the side of the trailer.
It wasn't a large piece of wood in the first instance, but he never the less broke it in half vertically, tossing one half to the ground before repeating the process horizontally.
He crouched, placing his two small sticks between his feet. With a slight bit of force, Ikime tugged a small strip of fabric from around his collar.
With a single, swift, motion he struck the two sticks together, Ikime formed sparks, setting the fabric alight.
Holding the pair of sticks over the fabric, he gave it a moment for them to ignite.
"ASPER!", Ikime called her over. With a slight jog, ASper approached Ikime still crouched, taking the sticks from him as he tore a piece of damp fabric from his leg. Asper held the sticks out as Ikime wrapped the wet fabric around them, binding them together.
Together, Asper and Ikime moved back to the trap door, and the group entered.
Asper followed Ikime down, the torch illuminated the cavernous basement.
"I think we found why the crops above survived the frost", Helen noted.
"Explain?", "Antone asked upward.
"The ground couldn't freeze all the way down", Ikime uttered, staring towards the roof.
Benches lined either wall, doors sprinkled between them.
The corridor turned sharply to the right - "it's like a fucking maze down here", Antone grumbled.
"What's that smell?", Ikime asked back to the other three.
"Smells like... Farts", Asper replied.
"Let's turn back", Helen suggested, leading the way back towards the staircase.
"Wait!", Antone stopped.
"What?", Ikime asked.
"Boxes", Antone pointed towards a bench to his left.
He crouched and pulled the boxes from beneath the bench.
"Everything else has been ransacked, why leave this behind?", Asper asked, glancing hard at the lid of the box.
Antone wiped the dust from the lid, exposing the words 'DANGER, EXPLOSIVES' from beneath.
"Explosives?", Helen peered over Aspers' shoulder.
"Take the fire back a step", Antone whispered up to Ikime.
Once the torch was at a safe distance, Antone opened the box, revealing a number of small, round bombs.
"Jeeze", Helene gruffed.
"Let's take these and head back", Ikime suggested.
"You sure?", Asper replied apprehensively.
"We don't even know if they fire yet", Antone scowled, "or how potent they are".
"Are you wanting to take them or not?", Ikime asked Antone.
"I mean, we can always get them later if we change our minds", Antone noted.
"No", Helen noted, "we've been attacked multiple times this month, we'll take them now".
The group agreed silently. Ikime handed Asper the torch and aided Antone in lifting the boxes out of the basement.
Dinner that night was a busy affair. The camp was more cheerful than they'd been the whole time Asper had been there - even moreso than the night they sat about singing.
Asper smiled at a small girl as she placed her empty bowl near the fire, ready for someone to clean.
The mud squelched beneath her feet as she approached Helens' tent.
She crawled in, taking a seat on the bed opposite Helen.
"I wanted to thank you, for keeping me occupied today... For taking a chance on me", Asper grimaced weakly.
"You're certainly welcome", Helen chewed a wad of cabbage.
She swallowed, drank the remainder of the fluid in her bowl, and set it on the ground.
"The bombs", Asper stated but didn't take it any further.
Helen surveyed her silently. Neither woman spoke. Asper coughed in wait.
"What about them?", Helen sighed, breaking the minute of silence.
"Do we want to keep them here? In the camp?", Asper glanced at the boxes, sitting at the rear of the tent, where the boiling pot of soup sat her first night in the camp.
Helen didn't speak.
"Helen. We have leverage".
"Leverage?".
"We don't have to stay here, we can set up elsewhere. We have the ability to take out anyone in our way", Asper noted.
"Why would we do that?", Helen gulped.
"Look around. What life is this?".
"Again with this... Again with the wanting more", Helen scratched her nose, "why can't you see that you're the odd one out here?".
"Helen, I've been on the other side of the coin, I know how pleasant it is to have a home that's more than a tent in the wind", Asper pleaded.
"Asper!", Helen growled, "Stop. I am the leader here, and you are someone I hardly know".
"I would've hoped that I've proven my worth to this camp, today alone", Asper felt hurt, her voice betrayed her feelings.
"I agree. And your decisions have left us in the best position we've been in for years. We've got the ability to defend our camp - the ability to create a safe settlement for us all".
"That same protection could see us find a real home, where we stand a real chance to not just survive one day at a time but thrive for generations!", Asper went from hurt to aggravated.
"I'm not entertaining this", Helen shook her head.
"Because you're fucking scared".
"I beg your pardon?!", Helen scowled, leaning forward.
"You've found somewhere comfortable, and you don't want to move. But your plan fucking sucks. You're going to spend all these bombs by protecting this camp. But one day, those bombs will run out, and we'll have nothing to protect us anymore. We will be vulnerable and there won't be anything we can do about it".
Helen bit the inside of her cheeks, suppressing the urge to punch Asper.
"And where would we go?", Helen asked through gritted teeth.
Asper said nothing, she knew she was fucked either way. She'd be shot down, or Helen would override her.
"That's right, there's nowhere".
"There's going to come a day when you change your mind", Asper replied, standing, "and when you do, I'll be here waiting for you".
It was at least a month before Asper and Helen grew warmer towards each other.
As winter gave way to spring, the air warmed with their understanding of each other.
Asper and Ikime said goodbye to Helen in her tent and made their way down the mountain to go hunting for pigs at the base.
"Hold", Ikime commanded, whispering with a vague sense of urgency.
Asper crouched instinctively, Ikime did the same.
"Stop!", Ikime boomed into the trees, point an arrow straight into a pair of eyes that Asper had missed entirely.
Dragging the boy into the camp, Asper felt eyes watching them from all sides.
"We'll take him up to the clearing", Ikime said toward Asper.
"Who's this?", Helen strolled over to them from her tent.
"Caught him lurking about halfway down the mount", Asper replied curtly.
"See where he's come from", Helen ordered, leaving Asper and Ikime to continue dragging the scrawny boy through the camp.
Atop the lookout, things grew darker.
Ikime tied the boy to a rock, fixing him tightly in place.
"You should go", Asper told Ikime grimly.
"You sure?", he double-checked.
Asper looked down at the boy, light blond hair fell around his cheekbones - "we'll get on just fine", she answered ominously.
Ikime shrugged, promptly leaving the two of them alone.
Asper pulled the gag from the boys' mouth. He couldn't be older than fifteen, she reasoned internally.
"I want to know where you've come from", she wrapped her hands around her bow stowed safely inside her rucksack.
"Fuck off", he hissed.
Without hesitation, she rapidly loaded her bow and fired directly into his thigh.
"ARGH!", he shrieked in pain, his eyes filling with tears.
"Where?", she spoke softly.
He wriggled in agony, refusing to speak.
She crouched and pushed against the arrow stuck deep in the boys' leg. He let out another howl.
"Where?".
"EAST!".
"And how many?", she asked menacingly, her words slurring slightly.
"Fi--Five hundred".
"How far east?!", she shouted.
"THE VILLAGE WE RANSACKED ABOUT A MONTH AGO, THERE! OKAY?!", he screamed.
Asper stood, swallowing.
She cut his bonds, freeing him from the rock. She held out her hand, helping him to his feet.
She eased him forward, towards the cliff face.
"What are you doing?", he asked fearfully, limping alongside her.
"I want you to show me", she refused to meet his eye contact.
They stood, looking down over the camp.
Shakily, he pointed aimlessly towards the east of the bush.
With her left hand, Asper pushed the boy over the edge, sending him plummeting towards the earth a hundred feet below.
Crunching, he died on impact, his mangled corpse landing directly next to Helens' tent.
Helen led the charge east the following night at midnight.
A crate with two small bombs was carried by Antone and Ikime, eight hundred men marching behind them. Asper walked side by side with Helen, guiding the snaking formation headed towards the village.
Stopping a few hundred yards from the village, Asper and Ikime fell back, allowing the soldiers to form a buffer between Helen and Antone, and them.
As if by clockwork, Helen and Antone took the bombs from the crates wordlessly.
Followed by two hundred men, Antone and Helen walked forward into the village.
Asper had assumed that the Settled would've taken up residence nearest the village town hall.
She watched from the rear as Helen and Antone moved towards the hall, and placed their bombs on the ground.
Silently, they lit the fuse. Something happened, and from her distance at the rear, Asper couldn't quite tell what. Be it a rogue spark, or a degraded fuse - something went wrong, and before anyone was ready, the bombs exploded.
In less than a second, the crowd was showered in a rain of wood from the town hall, and body parts from the soldiers surrounding Antone and Helen - both of whom had died in the explosion.
Suddenly chaos abounded, as the soldiers started retreating backward, trampling Ikime and Asper.
Shouts of horror and confusion filled the air, and what was supposed to be a stealth mission was now a suicidal bloodbath.
The Settled were roused from their slumber, aware they were under attack by a self-sabotaging army.
They swarmed the streets as the Settlers rushed back west, towards their alpine camp.
Asper gripped Ikimes hand as she lay in the dirt, feet trampling her into the soil.
Ikime grunted, and wrenched Asper from the soil, standing and dragging her into the fray.
Together they ran west, back into the cover of the bush.
Asper strutted through the camp, covered in blood, soot, soil, and tears.
She entered Helens' tent and dragged her bed into the middle of the camp.
Ikime watched, grief swelling inside of him.
Asper stood on the bed, and the seventeen hundred inhabitants of the camp stood around, watching with a mingling mixture of anger, sadness, and confusion.
"WE HAVE A DECISION TO MAKE. A DECISION HELEN WOULDN'T OFFER YOU. A DECISION SHE WAS TOO SCARED TO MAKE", Asper shouted, making sure everyone heard her, "SO TONIGHT, YOU DECIDE. BUT BEFORE YOU DECIDE, THERE ARE SOME FACTS YOU NEED TO KNOW.
HELEN AND ANTONE ARE DEAD. THEY DIED USING WEAPONRY UNHEARD OF IN OUR LIFETIMES. IN OUR PARENTS LIFETIMES. THEY DIED USING WEAPONRY THAT COULD CHANGE OUR WORLD. BUT WE NEED TO USE IT SMARTLY. WE NEED TO CONDUCT TESTS. AFTER THOSE TESTS ARE DONE, THOUGH, WE NEED TO ACT. SO TONIGHT, YOU NEED TO DECIDE; DO WE USE THAT WEAPONRY TO FORTIFY THIS CAMP, OR DO WE MOVE ON AND MAKE OUR HOME ELSEWHERE? DO WE STAY HERE AND KEEP FIGHTING THE SAME THREAT, OR DO WE LEAVE THAT THREAT BEHIND FOR GOOD?".
Asper watched the crowd murmuring.
"Are you really doing this?", Ikime looked up to her and asked, the crowd noise giving them a modicum of privacy.
"Are you going to stop me?", Asper looked down at him menacingly.
"Make this clear, for me, are you taking over this camp?".
"Absolutely", Asper snarled.
"Then I'm behind you, for now, and forever".
"Good", Asper turned her attention back to the crowd, "SO WHAT IS IT? I WANT HANDS, ALL WHO WANT TO STAY, RAISE YOUR HAND".
Less than twenty percent did so.
"AND TO MOVE?". The remainder threw their hands up.
*
"So then what happened?", Thatcher asked, enthralled.
"Ikime and I tested the bombs, split people into groups... People who died at the hands of those north".
"Asper, you have endured so much. We both want the same thing...", Thatcher pleaded.
Asper sighed. "You're right, but I just...", Asper trailed off.
"There's nothing else to add, darling. It's us against the people who killed your family, now. We can do this together".
"I want to believe that, but I'm so... Tired", Asper replied weakly.
"I get it. I get it", Thatcher shrugged, "but there is only one way forward, and if you want to get to that sweet end, you need to take it".
Asper looked Thatcher over, still laying where she was when the story started.
Thatcher could see the cogs spinning in Aspers' head, and she already knew the answer before Asper spoke it aloud.
"Okay... Fine, you've got a deal".
Asper held out her hand. Thatcher took it and gripped firmly.
"Welcome to the family", Thatcher smiled.