"She did what?!"
That was Sandra's reaction upon learning what that ate girl have told me.
It's Friday night and on Fridays, we do sleepover. This time, we are at her place. Si Sandra kasi 'yung tipong sheltered na anak mayaman kaya hinding hindi pinapayagang mag-sleepover sa iba, even in my own house.
Mabagal akong tumango sa kaniya, "Uh-huh. I know right. That was exactly my reaction after she's told me those."
Nakatayo na siya dahil sa tensyon habang ako ay nakaupo sa kama niya, nakasandal sa headboard, at nilalaro ang aking mga daliri.
"And you did nothing?!"
"Sandra, you know me. I do my way on actions rather than words. I can't let her see how much her words can affect me just by throwing the same downgrading words."
It's true, though. Hindi ako kilala bilang bardagulera at kailanman ay hindi napalaban. Well, except when I was in grade school, I guess.
Ginulo niya ang kaniyang buhok, then looked at me, amused. "Yeah, right." Sarcastic ang kaniyang pagkakasabi. "When you were in Grade three, these guys were mocking you and calling you names because you're a fat ass. Instead of talking to them or calling them names as they did, you secretly filled their bags with some disgusting mixed sauces."
Nagulat akong napatingin sa kaniya at umawang ang bibig dahil doon. I can't believe she knew that!
"What the hell? How did you know about that?!" I hysterically asked her.
Iilan lang ang nakakaalam noon at kabilang doon si Cherry dahil tumulong siya sa paggawa noong nakakadiring mixture. Hanggang ngayon ay nandidiri pa rin ako tuwing naaalala ang amoy niyon.
"Your house helper." She shrugged her shoulders then sit on her computer chair.
Sabi ko na nga ba! "Si Cherry?"
"Yes. Alam mo naman 'yung kasambahay niyo, madaldal 'yun. I was waiting for you to finally get ready when she just randomly told me about it." Casual ang pagkakasabi niya niyon habang binubuksan ang kaniyang Mac.
But that's one of my greatest secrets!
Saglit siyang tumingin bago muling binalik ang mga mata sa computer nang bumukas iyon. "I'd honestly help you with that too if we'd known each other back then."
Muli naman siyang sumulyap sa akin pagkasabi noon at nang-aasar na nginitian. Inirapan ko siya kaya tinawanan niya naman ako.
"Not gonna lie, I won't take a shit and do it again." Bored na pagsasalita ko pero tila naalarma siya at agad na tumingin sa akin. Bago naman siya makapagsalita pa ay nagsalita na ako, "Kung babalik sa panahong 'yon," paglilinaw ko.
She let out a heavy sigh, "As much as I support you about it, I just can't let you do such thing now, given our age."
Binaba ko ang katawan sa kama para tuluyang makahiga at tumingin sa kisame. "I know. I'm not that immature." Sagot kong may pagdidiin sa salitang 'that' dahil baka pa may sabihin siya dahil alam niyang may pagka-immature naman talaga ako. Just not that.
Bumalik naman ang tingin ko sa kaniya at Mac niya. I saw how she opened the browser on her computer then typed 'fb' on the search bar. Upon logging in to her account, saglit siyang natigilan at tila nag-iisip. Lumingon naman siya sa akin.
"Do you know her name, though?"
Kumunot ang noo ko sa tinanong niya. "Who?"
Tinuro niya ang screen ng computer at muling humarap sa akin, "Your ate girl. We gotta know at least some little details about your competitor."
Tinagilid ko ang higa ko para tuluyang makaharap sa kaniya. I raised an eyebrow at her. "Competitor?" I probed.
"Yes. Come on, ano ngang pangalan?"
Bumalikwas ako at muling umupo, naka-indian seat. "I don't know her name."
Naiiling naman siya at hopeless na tumingin sa akin. "Paano 'yan?" Humarap siya sa computer at muli ring humarap sa akin. "Anong itsura na lang?"
Hindi niya pa kasi ito nakikita dahil tuwing nakakasalubong ko ito ay wala siya.
"Don't make me describe her. You know, I have the tendency to say otherwise because of my irritation towards her." I rolled my eyes.
"Fine. Any details? I might know her..."
"Lagi siyang kasama nila Vinze on the way to their practice. Tsaka 'yung kinwento ko sa'yo na nasa gym din siya?"
Napatingin siya sa taas at nag-isip tsaka bumaling sa akin ang tingin. "Something like the team's assistant?"
Napaisip din naman ako at maaaring pwede iyon. I nodded. "Pwede! And she looks too mature, maybe older than Vinzeler."
She faced the computer and scrolled from a conversation with someone. "Baka naman biased ka lang?" she asked.
"Hindi ah! I swear, she's giving me that energy." Tumango naman siya roon.
Nakita kong may cinlick siyang link at nag-open iyon ng panibagong tab. "Come here."
I obliged, went off the bed, then stood beside her computer chair. I crouched.
"She's the girl na pinag-uusapan ng classmates natin kasi naiingit daw sila." I rolled my eyes. "She's the new assistant of the basketball team," pagpapaliwanag niya habang tinitignan ko naman ang profile noon.
"How come I've never heard about that?" Nakakunot ang noo ko habang sinisilip ang profile nito.
"Ewan ko sa'yo, may sarili kang mundo, eh."
"Whatever."
Krizelle Nari Rentoza
The name rings a bell but I couldn't remember where I have heard or seen it.
"You're friends with her pala, oh." Napansin ni Sandra sa mutual friends ang pangalan ko at talaga ngang friend ko siya.
Hindi ko maalalang may in-add akong ganiyan ang pangalan.
"I can't remember adding her," I said.
"Baka siya ang nag-add sa'yo. We both know you confirm every friend request sent to you, 'pag nakita mo nang schoolmate natin." Hindi ko na lang pinansin ang latter part ng sinabi niya because somehow, it's true.
Pinindot niya ang 'About' at nakita naming Civil Engineering student siya. Kita rin sa 'Work' na siya ay assistant ng basketball team.
Now, I remember. Siya 'yung cinonfirm ko ang friend request noong naghihintay ako kay Vile noong kumain kami!
"I remember now! Siya nga 'yung cinonfirm ko last time. Ang mahalaga, hindi ako ang nag-add." May pride ang pagkakasabi ko noon at parang nagyayabang kaya tinawanan ako ni Sandra.
"Now let's see some photos to confirm if she's your ate girl."
Nakatalikod kasing babae ang nasa profile picture niya kaya hindi pa namin agad makumpirma. Pinindot ni Sandra ang profile picture at lumabas na may karamihan ang nag-like ng picture niya. Pinindot naman ni Sandra ang next, to reveal that she really is my ate girl.
Naka-gown siya sa litrato, parang galing ng ball gown party. She's really pretty, making me dwell on my insecurities. Hindi pa nakatulong ang nakitang pangalan ni Vinze bilang isa sa mga nag-like nito.
I sighed and slightly moved away from the screen.
Hindi napansin iyon ni Sandra kaya nagpatuloy lang siya sa pagtingin ng pictures. Tatlong pictures lang ang naka-public sa kaniya at ito ay ang dalawa niyang profile picture at isang timeline photo kung saan kasama niya ang buong basketball team pati na rin ang coach and assistant coaches nila.
It was dated in July. Sandra zoomed the photo to reveal who's beside her. And that's Vinzeler.
I sighed again and this time, lumayo na talaga ako sa computer at umupo sa kama.
Napansin iyon ni Sandra kaya in-exit niya ang photo at lumapit sa akin. Tumabi siya at umupo sa tabi ko.
She held my hand and looked intently at me. 'Yung tinging may pag-asa pero may halong lungkot.
She smiled a little. "Sis, ano ka ba? You're much prettier kaya! Tsaka, hindi naman sila ni Vinze, so why do you look so hopeless?"
Bumaba ang tingin ko. "I'm pretty but she's beautiful, gorgeous even. She looks mature, while I look like a mere teenager."
She chuckled, "Because you're a teenager! Nat, we're all beautiful in our own way. The competition is strong but the competition doesn't stop on your physical features." She hugged me tightly. "We don't even know if there's really a need for a competition. Baka hindi pa siya lumalaban, talong-talo na siya sa'yo." Umangat ang tingin niya sa 'kin, nginitian ako nang malapad at kinindatan ako.
Napangiti na rin ako sa sinabi niya. She never really fails in the comforting game. She's the best support system I'd ever get, my sister from another mother.
"A few more days and I'd be back at annoying Vinzeler, he could never get away from me."
Sa gabing iyon ay nagkwentuhan lang kami ni Sandra at ginawa na ang schoolworks para hindi na magpakahirap at gamitin ang weekends para roon. Iniwan lang namin ang individual papers na due next month pa at inuna ang mga kailangan nang ipasa.
As nerdy as it sounds but me and Sandra are actually the studious type. We do not like procrastinating and cramming over work that needs to be accomplished as soon as possible. Despite our legal age, we're also not the type to go to every bar every weekend to party in BGC. Bukod sa talagang istrikto ang mga magulang ni Sandra ay hindi ko rin naman hilig ang mga ganoong bagay. We prefer doing sleepovers, chitchatting about her crushes, watching films together, and even reading a book beside each other.
Well, maybe this makes us go along together. Our mutual interests and hobbies.
Ang kaibahan lang siguro sa amin ay ang pagiging extroverted niya at ako naman ay introverted. People easily come at her and approach her, while I, on the other hand, couldn't even start a mere conversation. Kung tutuusin ay maaari siyang maghanap ng mas marami pang kaibigan, but she just prefers hanging out with me. Nabanggit niya rin naman sa akin noon na na-bo'bored na siya tuwing buhay na lang ng iba ang tanging pinag-uusapan nila. Tinawanan ko lamang siya.
Nang sumapit ang umaga ay agad din akong hinatid ng driver nila Sandra sa aming bahay pagkatapos kong mag-breakfast sa kanila. Ganoon din naman talaga ang routine namin tuwing sleepovers. Umaga ay uuwi na ako para raw makasama at bond ko naman ang parents ko during the weekends. I just agreed, though.
It's nine in the morning and I'm not expecting my parents to be at home anymore. Hanggang Saturday kasi ay kailangan nilang umalis at magtrabaho. I'm not complaining because I know well how much work they've put into that already. Besides, it's for my future too, as they say.
My parents are both engineers, and my father is an architect as well. A few years back then, they were working as employed engineers in a private company. They say it pays them well but it has always been their dream to start on their own company, so they did. Abraliez Holdings has been standing in the field for five years now. It wasn't as huge, high, and well-known as other engineering firms out there but it pays the employees' and our necessities, even much more, actually. Both my parents are striving to get it on top, so who am I to complain?
"Natalie! You're finally home..." nagulat ako nang biglang lumapit sa akin si Mama kaya agad na rin akong nagmano at humalik sa kaniya. Gulat ako dahil tulad ng sabi ko, hindi ko sila inaasahang nandito.
"Ma! Anong meron?" naguguluhang tanong ko dahil sa tono niya, she seems excited. "Tsaka bakit kayo nandito? No work?"
"Oh, hija... We had to fix some of your transferring papers." For some reason, bulong ang pagkakasabi niya noon kaya mas lalo akong nagtaka. Why would she whisper me that as if it was a secret in our house? "By the way, have you had your breakfast?"
"I had na po," sagot ko sa tanong niya at binalikan din ang una niyang sinabi. "Bakit mo po binubulong 'yung tungkol sa paglipat ko ngayong nandito lang naman tayo sa bahay?"
She looked at me, pinanliliitan ng mata. "You haven't told him you're leaving?"
Him? Who's him? Was it Vinzeler? At hinihinaan niya ang boses niya kanina para hindi iyon marinig ni Vinze? Pero naging normal naman ang lakas ng boses namin kaya posibleng narinig na niya kung nandito siya? Lumibot ang tingin ko sa paligid para tignan kung mayroong bakas ni Vinze.
Shit. I can't tell him about it now! It's too early for that.
"Vile! Ito na nga si Natalie, kararating lang." Nalipat naman ang tingin ko sa tinawag ni Mama na kagagaling lang sa den. So it's him? No Vinzeler? All clear?
Vile smiled at my mother then transferred his look at me. "It's okay, Tita. I just have something to discuss with her," sagot niya kay Mama na nasa akin pa rin ang tingin.
"Alright, mabuti pa nga pag-usapan niyo 'yan. Maiwan ko na kayo, I have something to do in the kitchen." Wala sa sariling tumango ako kay Mama hanggang sa lumiko na siya at nawala sa paningin ko.
Humarap ako kay Vile. I know there's nothing to be nervous about. But for some reason, kinakabahan ako sa tingin niya.
Habang malalim ang tingin niya sa akin ay hinawakan niya ako sa palapulsuhan, "Let's talk outside."
Hihilahin na naman sana niya ako para sumunod sa kaniya nang pigilan ko siya at hinawakan ang kamay niyang nakahawak sa palapulsuhan ko. "Wait, I'll just change into my jogging shorts and shoes. I'll go for a jog while we're talking."
Kumunot ang noo niya pero naalis ko naman na ang hawak niya sa akin at naglakad na para makaakyat. "How can we talk while you're jogging?" pahabol na tanong niya pero hindi ko na pinansin at umakyat na sa aking kwarto para magpalit.
Habang nagpapalit ay iniisip ko kung talaga bang sasabihin ko na kay Vile ang pag-alis ko. Safe naman sa kaniya, 'di ba? Kahit kaunting panahon pa lang kaming magkakilala ay positibo akong hindi siya ganoong klase ng tanong. He won't tell anyone about a story that isn't his. And we'll talk about it so we can make more agreements.
Palaging ganoon ang pakikipag-usap kay Vile. Parang business na palaging nangangailangan ng negosasyon sa pagitan ng mag-business partners. I shook my head.
Nang matapos sa pagbibihis at pagsusuot ng sapatos ko ay lumabas muna ako saglit ng balcony sa kwarto ko para damhin ang sinag ng araw. It's good that the sun's not too bright yet that I wouldn't burn my skin to the sunlight.
Bumaba na ako at lumabas kung saan naghihintay si Vile sa akin. Tumayo naman siya at sumunod sa akin nang makita akong tuloy-tuloy palabas ng gate.
Nang makahabol siya sa akin ay agad niya ako tinanong ng kanina niya ring tanong, "How can we talk while you're jogging?"
"I'll jog at the park, we'll talk while walking our way there," sagot kong diretso pa rin ang tingin.
Tumango naman siya bago muling nagsalita, completely unrelated to the topic we 'should' discuss. "I should've worn a pair of running shoes instead of these..." saad niya at tumingin pa sa suot na white sneakers.
Huminto naman ako sa paglakad para harapin siya, "E 'di umuwi ka muna at magpalit ka," may pagtataray at sarcasm ang tono ko.
Can't he just go straight to the point?
He chuckled. "Calm down." Nagpatuloy na kami sa paglalakad. "So, you're leaving?" mahinahon ang pagkakatanong niya.
I just nodded, couldn't find more words to say.
"Where to?"
"Rome," simple lang ang pagkakasagot ko.
He nodded. "For architecture?"
Huminga ako nang malalim bago umiling, "I'll stay in Rome for a month before moving to Milan for architecture."
He scoffed, "Wow, big time."
Tinignan ko siya nang masama. He sure can throw mischievous remarks amidst a serious conversation.
Mabagal ang lakad namin, dinadama ang lamig ng hangin at hindi kasikatang sinag ng araw. Walang nagsasalita, parang naghihintayan.
Naiisip ko na kung anong gusto niyang sabihin pero hindi ko kayang pangunahan at ako mismo ang magbukas niyon. Ayoko sanang sa akin pa magmula...
"How about Vinze?" he asked.
The wind blew.
I shrugged my shoulders. "He doesn't like me."
"What if he does?"
The wind touched my bare legs.
"Just... what if?" he probed. "There are still months left before you leave. That's a long time, it's not impossible for him to like you too."
I felt my cheeks flushed because of the thought of it.
"I'll cross the bridge when I get there." I looked at him and he smirked at me.
"And what if he finally likes you?" he asked.
Saglit akong tumigil sa paglalakad at tumingin sa pantay kong nakatigil na paa. May maliit na bato roon kaya naisipan ko itong sipain. Sinipa ko ang maliit na bato at nagpatuloy sa paglakad, tumingin sa kaniya. "E 'di, goods. I can do LDR, you know."
He smiled then patted my head. Lately, napapansin kong parang hilig niya 'yang gawin sa akin. Mukha ba 'kong tuta? "Easy for you to say that."
Hinawakan ko ang kamay niyang nakahawak sa ulo ko. I wrinkled my nose. "Stop that!"
Pagkahawak ko sa kamay niya ay may narinig kaming ingay na tila talbog ng bola sa paligid. I let go of his hand then looked around. Nasa tapat pala kami ng basketball court at malapit na sa park.
Aalisin ko na sana ang tingin ko sa court nang mahanap ng mga mata ko ang mga mata ni Vinzeler. Madilim ang mga ito at nakatitig lang sa akin na kalaunan ay nalipat sa nasa tabi kong si Vile.
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at tumingin din sa gawi ni Vile na parang walang pakialam at hindi napansin ang tingin ni Vinze.
Vinzeler looks... too serious. The way he looks at me, it was... solemn.
Inalis niya ang tingin sa amin at tumalikod na. Si Vile naman na nakatayo lang sa tabi ko ay agad kong sinapak ang braso na nagpa- "Aray!" sa kaniya. "Anong ginawa ko?" tanong pa niya.
Ugh! Nakita niya na naman kami ni Vile na magkasama. Hindi sa talagang iiwasan ko na si Vile. But Vinzeler might've got the wrong idea, especially now that I'm ignoring him.
And why are they here, anyway? Kahit sila Earl ay nandito sa village namin. Patago ko pang sinilip kung kasama ba nila 'yung Krizelle pero hindi ko ito nakita. Pati ang coach nila ay wala.
Napagtanto ko lang kung bakit sila narito nang makita si Blake doon. Oo nga! Parte siya ng basketball team at kilala ko siya dahil taga-rito rin siya. For sure, it's because he's a resident here that's how they get to play here.
Wrong timing ka talaga, Vile! Kasalanan mo 'to! Hindi ko na lang 'yon sinabi sa kaniya.
Today is Sunday and my parents told me that I have to go to our old house to get some things. They couldn't accompany me and they'll bring the driver with them. Hindi raw kasi sila nakapagtrabaho kahapon dahil sa inasikaso nila kaya ngayon nila 'yon gagawin.
As for my transportation, they told me they've asked Vile to accompany me to go there so it'll not be a hassle for me. Ha! As if that is an actual relief! And the tambay of Vile, he politely obliged. Can't he just stay his ass in their house? But then again, it'll be less hassle for me, so... Hayaan na nga, medyo sanay na rin naman ako sa kaniya.
Napag-usapang after lunch ang alis namin. Mabilis na nakarating si Vile sa amin at agad din naman akong sumakay na ng sasakyan niya para kami ay makaalis.
The 2-hour drive was silent and fast. I didn't expect to spend the last two hours peacefully with him. I guess, he still knows how to stay silent, huh?
Unexpectedly, the silence was relaxing. It was neither frightening nor anxious. I'm getting comfortable around him, I see.
Pagkarating ay agad ko namang hinanap ang mga kailangan, mostly are important documents then some are my remaining valuable possessions. Akala ko noon ay hindi na ako muling magkakaroon ng oras na makabalik dito ay mali pala.
I can still feel the sentiments and nostalgia in this house. How I first met Vinze during a dinner with my parents' business partners with their families. We were so young back then. I was so fat, too.
My parents decided to move to the metro for my studies and their work, that's when they started working on the company too.
The house is good as useless but we couldn't get rid of it as it has witnessed all my childhood memories and how we bond as a young family. I can't even think of getting rid of it in the future too.
Nang matapos sa kailangang kunin ay gusto ko na sanang umalis para maagang makauwi pero nadatnan ko namang payapang natutulog si Vile sa sala kung saan ko siya iniwan. Hindi ko siya kayang gisingin at basta na lang sirain ang tulog dahil kahit papaano ay thankful naman ako na sinamahan niya ako rito.
Bumalik na lang ako ng aking kwarto para ayusin ang iilang maiiwang gamit ko roon. Tinignan ko ang aking orasan, it's almost three PM. I have set an alarm at 4 PM, oras para gisingin si Vile at nang 'di na kami abutan ng dilim sa daan.
Niligpit ko ang nakakalat na mga dating laruan ko noon, they bring back my childhood memories. Gusto ko sanang dalhin ang mga ito pero ayoko namang itambak iyon sa kwarto ko lalo na at hindi ko naman gagamitin.
Time passed by, hindi ko na ito nasundan. Narinig ko na lang ang phone ko na tumunog dahil sa alarm, kaya ko napag-alamang 4 PM na.
Pagbaba ko sa sala ay nakita kong gising na si Vile, namumungay ang mga mata, halatang kagigising lang. Napatingin siya sa 'kin nang napansin ang pagbaba ko. Kinusot niya ang mga mata at humikab, "Tagal mo, nakatulog na ako."
"Ako pa sinisi mo, mabilis akong natapos. Bumalik lang ako sa taas kasi nakatulog ka."
He made face then answered, "Whatever. Tara na." Kahit kailan talaga 'to.
Nakarating kami sa Manila nang mga 6:30 na ng gabi at medyo nagugutom na ako. May kabigatan na rin kasi ang traffic dahil sa rush hour, kaya natagalan kami sa daan. Because of the hunger, we both agreed to stop over in a mall to grab our dinner.
Pero papasok pa lang ay nakasalubong na namin ang parents ni Vile, palabas naman ng mall. "Vile, Natalie! Nandito pala kayo? It's late now, you're having your dinner here?"
Lumapit si Vile sa Mommy niya para halikan ito sa pisngi at nagmano sa kaniyang Daddy. Ako naman ay lumapit na rin para magbeso kay Tita.
"Yes, Mom," sagot ni Vile sa tanong ni Tita kanina.
"Oh? Let's just all have dinner in the house. Your Dad and I just had to meet up with someone. Nakatawag na rin naman ako sa bahay, for sure nakahanda na iyon pag-uwi natin."
Tita Veronica is inviting us for dinner at their house! Tumingin ako kay Vile at nangungusap ang mga mata. I can't go, nandoon si Vinze! Sinuklian ni Vile ang tingin ko sa kaniya at tila nakuha ang nais kong iparating.
"Mom, kasi si Natalie... she needs to go home now." Mahinahon ang pagkakasabi noon ni Vile, nangungusap na 'wag nang ituloy ang pagpunta ko sa kanilang bahay.
"Vile, I won't let you drive her home without treating her for a dinner. Sa bahay na tayo mag-dinner, saka mo ihatid si Natalie pagkatapos. Malapit lang naman ang kanila sa atin kaya maaga pa rin siyang makakauwi."
Nauna nang naglakad ang parents niya, sinabing sumunod na lang daw ang kotse ni Vile, I even saw how her Mom looked at him, parang may pagbabanta na hindi kami pwedeng hindi sumunod sa kanila.
As soon as we got into the car, Vile talked, "He wasn't there earlier and I bet he isn't home until now. Maiuuwi na kita bago pa siya makauwi." May tono ng pagsisiguro ang boses niya pero alam ko namang pati siya ay hindi sigurado.
I just sighed and nodded at him. And we made our way to the Dianmen's residence.
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vote vote vote para mas mapabilis ang update char ⅛ ulet pero why not