A frown settled on Nana Lois's brows as she rose her gaze from her embroidering, to the object of her inquiry —an inquiry that had gone unanswered for longer than was deemed appropriate.
Seated on a matching gray sofa across from her, Sharon's hands worked in a mechanical movement, dragging the needle back and forth the white fabric. Her attention was seemingly possessed by the work before her, but as a loud hiss escaped her lips with the fabric falling from her grip, Nana Lois immediately knew that Sharon had been distracted —again.
She had only began to notice the changes in Sharon's mood a month ago when Matthew's family returned to San Francisco. And for a while, she was worried, not only because she assumed the poor girl's mood would improve once the Steiners' hostile presence on the farm had been extinguished, but also because whatever it was that was distracting Sharon had led to a few domestic accidents —one of which had nearly caused her a finger on the chopping board.
But as the weeks progressed and with them, Sharon's distracted demeanor, Nana Lois's attention was quickly drawn to something else.
Even now, it wasn't Sharon's demeanor she was looking at, it was Sharon herself. It was the slight —barely visible— changes that had taken place in only a matter of weeks. It was the way her once tan skin suddenly appeared quite pale. It was the several freckles that peeked through the hem of her neckline. It was the dark sacks underneath her eyes that told of her lack of sleep.
Turning her attention to the blood that now stained Sharon's finger from where the needle had pricked her, Nana said, “Are you okay, dear?”
“Yes, I'm fine,” A shadow of a smile appeared on her face. “It's nothing.”
For a slight second, Nana Lois considered ending the conversation there, but she was truly concerned. If her suspicions were right, then perhaps it was best if they didn't expose Sharon to any more dangers that could see her burning the farm down, and perhaps even herself.
Leaning forward, Nana kept her gaze on Sharon as she asked, “do you suppose you could be pregnant?” It was too soon to know for sure, but she assumed Sharon must be experiencing some changes that could confirm Nana's suspicions.
Silence followed her question, and she didn't think it was even possible, but Sharon's face seemed to get whiter, her hands immediately settling protectively on her stomach.
Interpreting Sharon's silence to be a confirmation of her suspicion, Nana smiled broadly. “Oh, dear child!” She squealed, clasping her hands before her as she bounced cheerfully on the sofa. “Matthew will be delighted! Unless of course he knows! And here,” reaching forward hurriedly, she retrieved the discarded dress from where it had fallen to Sharon's lap. “You can't be stressing over things like these. Let me do all the work, I don't want you getting into any more accidents. Oh, and we must see about getting Dr. Harrison to come around the farm and take a good look at you, see if there's—”
“No!”
The words died on Nana Lois's lips as her gaze immediately shifted to Sharon who was now on her feet.
Confused by her outburst, Nana raised a brow. “No?”
Sharon ran her tongue over her bottom lip as she rubbed her arm nervously. “No. I— um...”
Her frown returned. “What do you mean no? I'm quite certain I haven't said an objectionable thing these past few seconds, now have I?” She asked, daring Sharon to disagree with her suggestions; all of which were for her own good. Nana Lois didn't exactly appreciate being argued with.
“Of course not, Nana,” Sharon finally spoke after several seconds of silence.
“Good,” she nodded firmly, rising to her feet and taking the fabrics with her. “I'll finish with these dresses later. Right now, it's best to get started on lunch while I let you relax and rest those muscles of yours. You'll thank me later when you see how much strength is needed to birth a child.” She grinned, turning from Sharon.
“Nana, wait!”
Pausing in her tracks, she turned to her. “What is it, child?”
“I must beg something of you.”
She raised a brow, curios. “Go on.”
“Well,” Sharon glanced down. “I must beg that you do not break the news to Matthew.”
“Why not?!” It was a silly request, and while Nana did not think it was up to her to break such news to Matthew, she didn't think she could keep quiet about it either. Heck, the whole farm was about to be buzzing with the wonderful news!
“Well, we cannot be certain just yet.”
“But we're almost certain. Tell, me, have you been sleeping soundly?” She raised a brow to which Sharon solemnly shook her head. “Seen that monthly flow of blood yet?” She waited for her to shake her head for the second time. “And how's your appetite? I don't suppose you've eaten much in the past few weeks.”
“My period could simply be late. And perhaps I'm only stressed, especially with the wedding coming up.”
Nana shrugged. “Perhaps.” It was also a possibility she hadn't considered.
“It would be silly to break such wonderful news only to be disappointed if we find out that we're wrong. Matthew will be devastated. It is best we wait.”
Nana did not like the idea of having to wait, but she supposed it was the right thing to do given the situation. She would simply wait until they were fully certain about the pregnancy. In the mean time, she would enforce her new rule of keeping Sharon rested and away from further chores until they were both certain.
~*~
Sighing deeply as she settled on the edge of the bed, Sharon ran her fingers over her stomach, her nightdress clinging tightly to her wet body.
Nana Lois knew of the baby.
She didn't know how to feel about the older woman finding out she was pregnant. She herself had only begun to speculate the possibility of being pregnant a week ago when she had vomited her breakfast on the kitchen floor, the smell of coffee having stirred her bowels. She had since begun to find the smell of other foods unbearable and had begun to struggle since then to keep her food down.
It would seem that not only was her husband most likely to wake up one day and throw her out so he could be with another woman, but her life was to be ruined further by the possibility of being pregnant.
Indeed fate was beyond cruel to her. Sharon knew that Gretchen's absence on the farm was of no consequence when she possessed Matthew's heart. Her marriage to Matthew was doomed to only last for as long as Gretchen chose to stay away. Soon, Gretchen would return and Matthew would be reminded of his love for her, bringing their marriage to an end. She wasn't stupid enough to believe that the arrival of a child could change any of that.
Sharon knew all of that to be true, yet, she kept her head held high, refusing to sulk or wallow in self pity. She instead spent the weeks that followed her dreadful discovery of Matthew and Gretchen together on the porch —confessing their love to each other— preparing her heart and mind for his rejection. It would not hurt so much if she was to be prepared.
She tried her possible best to despise him, while keeping up the façade of a loving wife, but she couldn't despise Matthew. Her heart ached for him, her mind was full of him and her body longed for him.
Reaching up, Sharon released her damp hair from the towel that held it in place just as the door swung open and Matthew walked in.
Her heart skipped at the sight of him, his messy brown hair and white shirt with sleeves rolled all the way up to his elbows, making his appear even more seductive than she remembered.
As if reading her thoughts, a smile brightened his features, forcing a small smile to her lips in response.
Rising to her feet as he slammed the door shut behind him and crossed the room to where she stood, capturing her lips. She kissed him in return while fighting to maintain her control over her heart and emotions. She told herself over and over again that she could not be a victim yet again to another man's deception.
But as their kiss deepened, Sharon knew she was losing herself to him. And she cursed herself for it.
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