Chapter 12:
Lou felt like something velvety soft tickled his heart—a certain happiness, pride even, that filled his chest with warmth and admiration. His baby trusted him, in a way or another, that he wouldn't hurt Leo. Maybe not completely yet, but it was far enough progress for his relation with Aaron in such a short time. Lou thought of it again, and suddenly all happiness drained away, quickly replaced by a hollow ache.
That's so selfish, Lou mused. He didn't want his baby to trust just him. He wanted him to love them all equally, but something was so heartwarming about him being the first of the three to whom Aaron begins unfolding.
Aaron heard the echo of a door being shut somewhere far across the corridor, and his heart raced, goosebumps rising on the back of his neck. Where was Daddy taking Leo and why did the hell did he shut the door like that?
"What's he gonna do to him?" Aaron whispered, staring worriedly past the door of the kitchen. It suddenly hit him—the sinking realization of how uncomfortable Leo must be, stuck in a room with Daddy: the most intimidating of the three. Aaron tried moving out of the chair, but he only clashed with the plastic trapping him in. He gripped the tray and tried unhinging it frantically. When he came to no avail, he desperately tugged at the straps restraining him instead. "I need to get out. Leo, he must be so scared."
"Um, baby, careful there," Lou said as he clutched the sides of the chair and pinned its legs to the ground, afraid that Aaron's incessant movement would send it crashing aside. "Calm down, love, you're gonna hurt yourself."
"Calm down? How do you want me to calm down?" Aaron just about shouted, a fair and noticeable amount of dry sarcasm projected into every word. "Leo's probably being abused in there, technically because of me, and you want me to calm down."
Lou was taken aback at Aaron's furious attitude. It kinda hurt his heart. He'd just thought his relation with his baby was improving, but that turned out harder than he'd thought.
Just when Lou opened his mouth to speak, Mommy interjected instead, "Aaron, watch the way you talk with your Uncle. That was very naughty of you. You're going for a timeout. Twenty minutes. Now."
Sighing, Lou touched Aaron's's hair, but Aaron just moved his head away, too consumed in his worry about Leo to remember that he should be obedient. "No, it's okay," Lou said. "I know he's just scared. No need for—"
"Lou, take him to the naughty corner. I know he's worried about Leo, but that doesn't mean he can shout like that. He needs to learn."
"But," Lou spoke quietly, then decided it was pointless and carefully picked his baby out of the chair.
Aaron partly appreciated that Lou was trying to help him out of a punishment, but he wasn't in the best mental state to think about it properly and shake hands with him.
So Lou carried him to the living room and set him in the notorious naughty corner, one that purposely wasn't occupied with any piece of furniture, and served perfectly for a timeout. "You have to keep standing for twenty minutes, baby. I'm sorry, really."
Aaron stood there, but his mind kept bouncing back to Leo, wondering what could possibly be happening to him, what abuse he could be undergoing. He tried to calm down, to remind himself that he'd gone through a punishment himself and it hadn't been too bad, but then again, it was his first. What if Daddy hadn't hurt him too much because it was the first time? What if he were much more violent otherwise? His shoulders shuddered at the thought.
Minutes passed, and Aaron's back began aching. He'd always suffered with back pain (because he'd totally had the most luxurious life) and he hated every second of it.
Leaning his back against the corner, Aaron tried to shift most of his weight onto the wall, eyes closed as he exhaled shakily. He suddenly imagined Leo limp, his arms and legs numb and useless, but then he quickly shook his head to jar the horrible image out of his mind. All but using the injection on him. He'd kill himself if that happened.
A gentle swat on his knee broke him out of his trance. "Keep your knees straight. And your back," Mommy demanded, gently grabbing Aaron's arms as she pulled him away from the wall. "The point's to get tired, baby. I'm sorry, but you need to think of what you've done wrong."
Aaron stared at her grudgingly, but he maintained the new posture nonetheless. Why he stayed there, why he didn't just go and barge in to Daddy and Leo, was a mystery to himself. Nothing glued him the corner; he could walk away, but he didn't—perhaps because he was afraid of their capabilities, afraid what they could do if infuriated past their limits. It was how they acted so calm and gentle that scared him.
Lou watched with an aching heart; he couldn't stand seeing Aaron tired and fearful all at the same time. He knew that punishment was important for discipline, but he found it hard to watch. He just wanted to hug his baby right then and take care of him. But it wasn't his choice, nothing really was. So all he could do was wait patiently for the assigned twenty minutes to pass.
As soon as the clock hanging against the wall declared the time had passed, Lou sprang forward, gently held Aaron's underarms and carried him to the couch with. Aaron sighed with relief as he sank into the soft cushion, because even though a twenty minute timeout didn't sound too hard, his bad back had brought him a lot more pain than the punishment was meant to.
Then, something struck him hard, and the fleeting moment of relief disappeared. Twenty minutes had passed. Where was Leo? What kind of punishment lasted that long? Horrendous thoughts flooded his mind again; he imagined Leo coming in with new scars across his body, fresh bruises blemishing his innocent face, or perhaps distinct blackness around his blue eyes. He'd never forgive himself if that happened.
Lou walked out of the room and came back a minute later, Leo in his arms as he walked closer to the couch.
Aaron couldn't even control the tension that built up in his shoulders: the nerve-wrecking anticipation of finally seeing Leo, yet the overwhelming fear that he'd be damaged somehow. He hadn't even known that he was that scared about his safety until that moment.
Just when Leo was set down next to him, almost impulsively, Aaron threw an arm around him, cradling him against his chest, his free hand frantically making sure he was all in one piece, safe and sound with functional limbs—which was proven when he felt Leo reciprocate the hug.
Aaron pulled him away slightly and took a look at his face, exhaling with relief when he realized that it was normal, thankfully not tainted with contusions. But then he noticed how his eyes were slightly watery, thin veins creeping up around their scleras, as if he'd been crying.
"Leo, what did he do to you? Why were you crying?" Aaron asked, worry laced through every edge of every word, in a way so distinctly audible it actually pained Lou. His baby was so concerned. He slowly retreated, wanting nothing but to watch the interaction without causing disturbance. "Wanna tell me what happened?"
Leo's eyes fell anywhere but near Aaron's. "Don't wanna talk about it, Aar," he whispered behind the pacifier, sighing as he snuggled closer to Aaron, head against the front of his shoulder and an arm around his abdomen.
As far as Aaron had seen, there were no new bruises or wounds, he definitely wasn't bleeding, and his limbs were functional. So what in the world happened there? He lifted Leo's sweater, peeked around briefly, then frowned when he saw nothing new—just the same old scars. He was glad, but confused at the same time. Leo wasn't even acting in a way to display that he was in pain, so, he wasn't? Aaron didn't understand anything, but then the ambiguity gripped him with a certain fear. So many things could have happened there.
Suddenly, Leo lifted his head and squinted, nose scrunching as the pacifier dropped from his mouth. At first, Aaron thought he was about to be confronted with some horrible bruise Daddy had given him across the mouth, but there was nothing. His lips were normal; clearly not deformed or bleeding along the edge.
Everything seemed normal, so why the hell had he been crying?
"Did he spank you?" Aaron waited patiently for an answer, then he frowned when Leo yet again shook his head. Leo brought the pacifier back to his mouth and reached his hand up to Aaron's hair, fingers threading through it pointlessly, a small, weary grin appearing behind the plastic against his lips as he stared with fascination. Aaron laughed a little and tried to move his head away, but Leo tightened his grip. "Um, yeah. That's my hair."
"Soft," Leo mumbled, twirling strands of it between his fingers. Aaron didn't mind if that helped him forget whatever troubled him. He just wanted him to be happy, especially after undergoing a punishment that he'd caused him. Eventually, Leo lost interest in his Aaron's hair and let go of it, his hand slowly slumping back down. But instead of staying still, he quickly found Aaron's hand and clutched it.
Leo didn't exactly hold his hand to hold it—he just wanted to keep himself occupied. Aaron found it funny how he couldn't stay still; how he had to fiddle with something, anything, most of the time. He watched as Leo went from gathering the hem of his sleeve in his fist, to playing with his fingers aimlessly, and scratching his palm—sometimes even pinching his skin pointlessly with his nails, which did become slightly painful. All of that reminded Aaron of a child; that was what happened the last time he held a child's hand.
Leo was too worryingly accurate with the way he acted.
Leo curled further around Aaron, his body relaxing against him. The pacifier bobbed much slower than before. His eyelids fluttered repeatedly until they settled down. Maybe Leo's sleepiness was infectious, because Aaron found himself relaxing without meaning it, slowly progressing until his cheek rested on top of Leo's head. Blinking, blinking slower, then grey eyes closed.
They stayed like that until Daddy entered, so silently that he almost didn't attract the boys' attention, but Aaron sensed the quiet shuffling of feet and lifted his head instinctively to assess the noise, eyes narrowing maliciously when they fell upon Daddy. He didn't realize it, but he pulled Leo closer to his chest as he inspected the captor's movement. Aaron hated thinking that he'd hurt Leo enough to make him cry.
Suddenly Leo stirred against him, so Aaron focused on him again, missing along how Daddy's expression dropped. He missed how his brown eyes fell to the ground with disappointment, how a sadness overwhelmed him just because of that angry, resentful look his baby had given him. It came across like a dagger pierced into his heart, paining him every time the muscles contracted. He knew that his baby probably hated him, but this time it just hit him right in the sensitive emotional spot—because he'd been in that position before, and he remembered it well: how he had been huddled up in the corner, holding Lou against him as he glared at someone, much like Aaron had just done.
But the difference was that Daddy believed he'd given it to someone who deserved it.
Lou had been watching Aaron and Leo secretly, but then he noticed how Daddy quickly turned and left the room. He followed him out, stopping him halfway through the corridor. "You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," Daddy said, smiling halfheartedly. "It's just that Aaron could've burnt me with his eyes. He looked so angry, like he needed a prod to attack, but he didn't. Just stared at me instead."
"He just thinks that you abused Leo for the punishment. You know Aaron. That's just how he is."
"I know, but... I mean, I know he hates me right now, all of us, but I guess it just hurt? Well, never mind. At least he's getting along with Leo. That's a good thing."
From his spot, Aaron couldn't exactly decipher what they were saying, but he did hear quiet mumbling and talking. He focused back on the boy clinging to his torso, amazed by how peaceful he appeared, by how his face perfectly conveyed childlike innocence—in a way that could almost beat a real toddler's. It wasn't just the pacifier that made him look like that, it was something about him. Something so indescribably distinctive about the way his eyes glowed. But then Aaron's heart burnt. The entire thing wasn't right. Leo was supposed to be at school right now, not suckling on a pacifier.
"There has to be a way out," Aaron whispered absently as he stared down at Leo with soft eyes, brows raising in surprise when Leo hummed questioningly. Leo shifted his position and looked at Aaron through his eyelashes, lips still working incessantly at the pacifier and head tilted slightly, as if wordlessly asking him to repeat himself. Aaron tried his best to smile and patted his head. "Never mind. Go back to sleep."
Aaron caught how Leo's cheeks lifted slightly as he smiled sleepily, the edges of his mouth curled behind the plastic. He said something, but it was incomprehensible. Muffled with the effect of the pacifier, and perhaps his desire not to let anyone hear. "Leo, what did you say? I can't hear you with the pacifier."
Leo removed the pacifier, then looked up at Aaron again with wide, trusting eyes. "I love you, Aar. Good brother."
As innocent and endearing as it sounded, Aaron firstly thought that it was absolutely irrelevant to the entire conversation. He didn't know if he'd be telling the truth by saying that he loved him too, because he was kinda confused about that. Aaron cared about Leo because he was a defenseless victim, but love sounded a little broader than what he actually felt.
Even with the uncertainty, Aaron didn't have the heart to disappoint him. "I love you too, Leo."
They smiled at each other, and perhaps that was the first time Aaron did wholeheartedly. He was tired, partly scared, angry—everything at once, but Leo almost seemed to make the horrible situation a little tolerable.
Mommy stood at the threshold, grinning to herself like a fool as she watched her boys. The way were huddled up together, arms around each other. She knew they didn't deserve all the pain they'd been through before, and seeing their smiles was the lasting type of satisfaction.
"Mommy?" Leo suddenly called, straightening as he peeked at the door. "I want Daddy. Wanna change my pull-up."
Startled out of her daze, Mommy's brows jumped then she quickly headed towards the couch, holding her hand out to Leo. "Come, let's go to him."
Leo held her hand and began slipping off the couch, but Aaron kept his arm around him, refusing to let go. It surprised him slightly that Leo wasn't showing some sort of repulsion from Daddy, almost as if he weren't scared of him, or at least not sad about how he'd punished him.
"Aar, need to go," Leo said, tugging Aaron's arm off him. "Full pull-up gives me a rash sometimes. And rashes hurt."
It was the idea of Leo getting hurt again that made Aaron quickly move his arm away and give him space to go. He didn't want to bring him more pain; he'd already caused him a punishment, and that was enough to suffocate him with guilt.
Leo smiled before walking out with Mommy, but it still wasn't his usual one—it missed something. Maybe its infectious positivity, its essence. Aaron felt like Leo was still slightly distraught, like the punishment had filled him with lingering dread and despite how much he was trying to fight it, it remained plaguing part of his usual demeanor.
Aaron sighed as he lolled his head against the backrest of the couch, eyelids dropping. A soft blow of cold wind crept from behind and tickled his face, in a way that almost had him smiling again, the corners of his mouth twitching slightly at the comforting, long lost privilege. He craned his neck as much as possible, but then he frowned when he caught through his peripheral vision a window in the middle of the creamy wall behind him. Great, he thought. He hadn't even noticed a big window. Very sharp observational skills.
Shifting his position, Aaron turned entirely so that his front was pressed against the backrest, one arm drooped over the top lazily. The window was just slightly open, the dark curtains billowing as the wind blew into them, but not wildly enough for Aaron to see anything outside properly. He just hoped there were no metallic bars everywhere. And aside from that, he really wanted to smell fresh air for a second; he felt like he had been cooped up in the house for a lot longer that it had actually been.
Lou approached quietly, debating whether it was appropriate to talk to him or not. He desperately hoped that Aaron had cooled off a little, because he wasn't ready to receive the same glare he'd shot at Daddy. He couldn't even imagine it. His baby being scared of him was one thing, and hating him was another, or at least he believed so.
Hesitantly, Lou reached from the back and ruffled Aaron's hair, almost choking on a gasp when Aaron suddenly flinched and turned to look at him. Lou thought he was about clash with anger, grey eyes smoldering with contempt and hatred, but all he saw was a set of sad, pleading ones. He followed Aaron's gaze to the window. He understood what he must have been thinking
"Hey, how about we go outside?" Lou asked, nodding towards the window. Aaron perked up at that; the offer sounded like a miracle, exactly what he wanted to do and he just couldn't believe how easily it came to him. Lou smiled and picked his baby and set him on his hip, but then he frowned as he eyed his clothing. "Let's change your clothes first, then we'll go out. A little cold outside, and I don't want you getting sick. The onesie is not enough to keep your warm."
Aaron didn't protest, probably didn't even listen to him properly, because his eyes were glued to the window, his mind far too busy calculating how important going out was for him. How important it was for his plans to escape. The thought naturally brought Leo to his mind; that boy needed to go back to normal life, and his morals told him he had to save him along no matter what.
"Wait," Aaron said, looking back at the door. He didn't want to leave Leo alone with Daddy. "Bring Leo out, too. Please."
"Sure love, anything you want. I can't say no to my baby."
The easiest to deal with, that was where Aaron could classify Lou.
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