XIAO ZHAN'S POV
I don't know how long I have been sulking and mopping. This is extremely giving me the goosebumps. My head's pounding upon questioning and answering my own thoughts. I have always been good at prediction but this time, I certainly doubt my thoughts and myself.
I can't make a decision without getting the right intuition. I have two in mind, first, Yibo knows that I am Abacus Pendragon and he's being eager to have some time with me, alone with prior knowledge that he insisted us to meet although I said no. Second, Wang Yibo doesn't have any idea and sees me as Xiao Zhan, the employee Xiao Zhan but still that doesn't make sense. I am just a mere pretentious employee why would he exert such an effort to take time with someone like me? The second intuition is nothing but absolutely absurd. Ridiculous.
"Wang Yibo is really acting suspicious." I mumbled to myself still in disbelief and argumenting with my own thoughts however we're probably fair and square since I am being too suspicious as well- wait.
I can't believe this is possible! What if he thinks I am someone who's plotting against his favorite author and he's trying to know me and my thoughts better so he could kill me first before I got to- oh no I have gone mad!
I shake my head and drown it on the pillow, screaming and muffling words filled the room. After taking it all out, I inhaled and sat upright as I placed my coffee on the table, my desk was a mess as usual with drafts paper scattering everywhere. It's night time and the moon is brightly reflecting on my glass window, I felt easement once again almost forgotten why I was stressed out earlier.
It was an impassioned and soothing moment that could make everyone feel safe and relax. Although the world is not safe, anywhere and anyone tonight might be in danger but once you look up and sight the captivating moon, bad thoughts are now gone. I took a picture of it and uploaded it on my website putting an alluring caption. I smile when I type it out.
"The moon is a loyal companion. It never leaves. It's always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it's a different version of itself. Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. The moon understands what it means to be human. Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections."
Looking down from the moon, and setting aside all the worries, I have to be concerned about my own career. Speaking about it, I've got to update on my novel tonight, if I'll be fortunate I could probably write two to three chapters until who knows how long will this take.
I bend my neck and with determination, I started writing down my thoughts conveying it to the novel that I am currently working. The frustration that I felt earlier is no longer available, I am endowed with writing and it takes all the negative feelings away putting it out on the story that I make.
Sometimes I feel like I am my own characters, putting the same attitude and personality with the main characters, my own thoughts and sometimes my own experiences apart from that are all fiction adding a lot of struggles and unfortunate events on their lives, if one day my characters will exist in real life they would've called me a slanderer, murderer, and probably Cupid.
I was very attentive and well focused as I work and didn't get to realize the time, I look up and it's already 1 am in the morning, the moon was still bright along with it's companions called stars. I finished two chapters, and one to go, I've got to update as soon as possible.
My phone suddenly vibrated which almost cause my heart attack. I hold unto my chest while reaching out my phone, realizing who the person is. I heaved a sigh.
My heart throbbed as I read his messages, I don't understand my feelings at all. I don't understand him. He's the reason why I am being stressed out and yet he's also the reason why I get brave and courageous. His words were alluring and assuring that I almost reply.
I cannot fathom how I feel safe and secure, his words were simple yet it comforts me so much. Each person always needs someone like this, someone who will listen to them, someone who will understand them without judging their opinion, someone who will accept you despite of your ignorance and agnorance.
Am I thinking wrong about him? All these time, what if he's just been kind and want to be friends? Was I distancing my self too much? Did I think highly of my self too much? This is very unlikely of me.
I've been completely become a different person, how did this happened? Is it because Wang Yibo made me feel this way, like I am someone who's unreachable?
Perhaps, this is my own doing. Thinking highly of myself because he's the one whom I cannot reach, he is young and successful, everyone would die to have him. I think too highly of myself thinking that I would be able to be with him, standing on the same stage.
All of these were probably because I want to prove myself to him that I can be worthy for him, that I can deserve someone high like him, I can be also perfect for him.
But why?
I tapped my phone and without much hesitation I send him a message, for the first time in my life, I did something interesting that I truly like.
I snorted while reading the messages, I can't believe I am enjoying his company right now. He's so adorable! Look at those keysmash and emojis! I can't believe that he'd be like this? After all who would believe that with a stern and stoic face like him would act this way.
This might sound crazy, I might sound crazy but is it bad if once in my life I would try to be open with someone like him? Will that be possible? That's kinda crazy!
I am smiling stupidly this is not what I should feel right now but I can't help it. I realized that it's already 2 am, I focused once again, aiming to wrote for the last time and probably give the readers a short cliffhangers :)
After I post it online, I yawn and stretched my arms and threw myself on the bed. I feel extremely happy, my heart is beating so fast and I don't think I'm sick of course I am not sick! I am in- nah I can't say that, it's too soon.
I am probably turning into a lunatic, I got home very frustrated and at some point mad, then just right now I am happy and smiling like an idiot. Sure this is fine. God knows how long I've been smiling whilst hugging my pillow before I drift into sleeping.
☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆
A bright light got into my eyes as I slowly turned my head towards it, I lazily opened my eyes realizing that the sun is already up, did I wake up early? I arise from the bed and I crunched my eyes as I look at the wall clock. It's 8am no worries I am early-
Holy mother of Margaret! I am late! Wang Yibo is probably waiting for me there for almost two hours and more? Oh my god!
I rushed to the bathroom and picked out my towel, hurridly took a shower. I don't remember if I shampooed or atleast bathed properly but I quickly went out and grabbed any clothes.
My hair is wet and the water is dripping on my shoulders, I shake it out and messily hand combed my hair as I went out of the house, I hurridly took a bus and went to the coffee shop.
Arriving at the spot, I jumped off the bus before it steadily stopped. Wang Yibo wasn't outside, maybe he got tired and went inside already. Please let him be there. I prayed.
I went inside the coffee shop and the staffs were being welcoming, they greeted me and I nod to them. I examine the place and found the man on the same table when we last came here.
I run on my way to him and remains standing up, panting, I said, "Y-Yibo.." he turned around to see me, his sad and excruciating eyes began to be glowing and dreamy. "I'm sorry I got late, I forgot to alarm-"
He smiles, the most genuine smile I have ever seen. Goodness gracious had he been this handsome before? "It's alright." He spoke, "Take a sit,"
I nod my head twice and sat down, "You.. didn't order yet?" I ask while looking at him, hesitantly. Okay, I've got this.
He shook his head, "Waiting for you,"
Please, why is he so blunt and straightforward. Can he take it slow and show some mercy to my poor and fragile heart?
I mouthed an 'Oh' and smilingly exclaimed, "Let's order then!" He nod at me. As we both got up going to the counter, I accidentally brushed off my shoulders to his, I widened my eyes and apologise but he didn't say anything.
"Ready to order sir?" The girl asked on Yibo. This one isn't the girl on the last time. Speaking of that girl, she gave me her number! What a waste it's probably floating on the washing machine along with my trouser.
I giggled at my silly thought, "Just the usual." Yibo said, "Are you going to take the same order?" He turned around to see me giggling. I snapped out of it and shyly nod.
"Two pieces of pancakes and a grande coffeelatte." Yibo recites at the counter, remembering my favorite breakfast. Well that's very thoughtful of him.
"Your order will be given on a minute." The girl smiled, we both walk back on our table and silently sat down.
"Did you sleep well?" He asked.
I nod, of course I slept well. I was smiling even in my sleep! I can't tell him that I was happy because of him!
"How about you?" I asked the same question.
He tilt his head and amusingly smiled, "Yeah."
Remembering the intentions of why I am here. I cleared my throat and asked without hesitation, "So. About your retirement?"
He looked at me with surprised and said, "Oh, right. Where should I start?" He asked me. Idk man.
"Just tell me the reason, that'd be alright, I guess."
He nods, "Okay, I'll still tell you everything." He said and straighten up his composture. "I don't know if you have an idea that I've been working my life for almost thirteen years..."
I keep nodding at him as a response and an assurance that I am listening to him attentively without missing a single information.
I feel like he's opening up so intimately, "I already have everything. House, car, money.." He counts his fingers.
He continues, "But I lacked on one thing.. do you have any idea of what is it, Zhan?"
I took a while to process everything he said. He have car, house and money. What do I think is the one he is lacking? As of the moment? He's not lacking anywhere. He is perfect, handsome, hot and rich.
"Zhan?" He asked again, taking my attention.
"Oh. Uhm maybe a girlfriend?" I answered with an uncertain tone. I look dumb right now, why I am thinking of how hot and handsome he is just right now?
"You're partially right," partially? he continues, "I lacked in romance, I lacked in love, I have no love life. If I continue to work under Yuehua I'll probably die single and virg-"
"Okay cut that part. I get it." I trailed him off.
He chuckled softly, "Have you been inlove before?"
His question made my heart thump so loud that I am afraid that he might hear it. I lean my back on the seat, trying to move a little far from him.
"Yeah well, you could say that," I answered.
His eyes turned sad, I swear I almost saw like he was mourning, then it went away when he smiled, "I am inlove too..." He said.
My heartbeat is making me deaf I barely heard what he was saying! I let out a chuckle, and clasped my hands. "See? You are no longer lacking in any aspects!"
He pouted, "I am inlove with him but he's not."
He? Did he say he? Or was I just hallucinating? Am I delirious right now? No I don't feel dizzy I am normal. Definitely okay. "How can you be sure?"
"I just know and he's inlove with someone else," he crossed his arms and legs still pouting.
I awkwardly laugh at his bluntness, "You should still tell him about how you feel. Who knows maybe he's feeling the same way to you?"
I sounded ambitious right now, as if he was going to confessed with me. I'll probably go nuts and don't know how to answer.
"I'm trying to make him fall for me, build a trust to me. But he seems distant, trying to figure things out for himself but I can help if he just let me, you know."
I nod, clearly, that man he's talking about is familiar. "Maybe he got surprised that you're suddenly acting that way towards him,"
He huffed, "I am allowed! Everyone is allowed, everyone is flirting at him anyway so why can't I?"
I replied, "Flirting? And does he flirt back?"
He retorts, his eyes darkened, "Yes he does and It annoys me!"
I chuckled, "Well maybe you shouldn't take it seriously! What if he was just born to be flirtatious,"
"And yet he can't flirt at me?"
"Try to be obvious when you're flirting! What if he doesn't know that you're catching his feelings?"
"But he's dense and oblivious!"
"Then you should confess!"
"How should I confess? What if he doesn't feel the same way and he rejects me because I am not his type?"
"What do you know about his type! And I told you, you have no idea if he feels the same too! You should man up and tell him that you like him so you two could get marry already,"
"Do you hear yourself right now?"
"Yes!"
"Are you sure about that?"
"I am! I am always sure about the things I say,"
He breath heavily and almost got me breathless, we were throwing words to each other without thinking and breathing. Well that escalated quickly.
"Again, what if he rejects me?"
I snorted and shake my hands lazily, "Pfft! He won't! And if he actually did, thats his loss, okay? You did your part give him some time to think and reflect and maybe, maybe he'll realized that he was inlove with you."
"Is that your final answer?"
"Of course! I am a man of my words I do not step away from the chaos I made, if that's the issue.."
He cleared his throat, "Okay.."
Why do I feel so tense? Why do I feel so nervous right now. I feel like there's something bad will happen. My heart was crazily shouting at my chest. At some point feeling jealous of whoever that lucky person is. He won Yibo's heart, that's everything.
"I don't think I could do it, personally," he said.
I snorted once again, "oh my god, what a coward. I can't believe the young successful man, most handsome and hot on the whole wide world is a coward HAHAHAHA!!"
I laughed at him, his face was cold and impassive. It took me nearly five minutes before putting up a serious face again.
"Did you just said I am hot and handsome?"
I looked away, "no. I didn't." Zipping my mouth off.
"You said it." His eyes were ecstatic, "Do you think, I am?"
I shrugged, "Who would think you're not?" You can call me delusional but I really saw and witness how his eyes smiled! Goodness, so cute and adorable.
The waitress came with our food, placing it gently on the table. We both thanked her and she walked away. I took a sip on my coffee and so does Yibo.
"So, what do you think is the best way to confess?" He asked at me.
I took a bite on my pancake, with muffled words I manage to reply, "Personally, that'll be romantic.."
"You think so?" He asked while sipping on his coffee. I nod and gave him a thumbs up. "Okay. I'll work on that, then."
"Now that's a good boy," I uttered without realizing what I just said. I looked at Yibo and his cheeks were red.
"I can't believe you blush on my compliment," I shamelessly spat at him as I let out a laugh.
"Shut up! I-I am not blushing!!"
"Sure sure. I can let this slide," I laughed again.
When we got done from eating, he went to the cashier and payed for our food, again. I insisted to pay for us but he refused saying, "I was the one who asked you to join me. I am paying. Whenever we're together, I'll be the one to pay."
I nod lazily, I don't want to complain right now. My stomach is full, my heart is contented. We went to the office together, talking about random things, and laughing at our own remarks.
"Got yourself a boyfriend?" ZhuoCheng spat, after he had a chance to speak with me alone. Now that Wang Yibo is probably recording his song.
"Haha! That's a nice start to joke," I fake a laughter. He gave me a back slap and started to complain about many things.
"But seriously, when did you both become close to each other? You met like 3 days ago?" He crossed his arms.
"ZhuoCheng, poor you, how would you know? You're absolutely busy getting bottomed by your boyfriend so how would you know?" I laugh at him.
He gave me another smack, "Quit it. Are you gonna explain now or what?"
I gave up, "Alright alright. The man is being friendly and so do I! What's wrong with that? I feel like we've known each other since birth, he even told me about his crush,"
"You're both there already?"
"Why not? We're friends!" Yes friends. Haha!
"Yeah, friends, sure,"
"Hey! What are you trying to imply,"
"Nothing. I didn't say anything." He said and went out of the room leaving me dumbfounded. Well, that was alright, I guess?
I looked over at Wang Yibo inside the recording room, he looks very emotional. He's really giving it out. This man deserves everything from this world. I gave him a nod and a smile before going out.
I went to the office and settled down, thankfully I have my materials with me. I finally took the information, I could finally work with the album cover! Let's get this.
I have sketched out a lot of different drawings which is related to love. I have to finalize this and enhance the colors then, I will show- no not me, ZhuoCheng is gonna show these to the team and make them choose which one did they like and which one suits Yibo the most.
I stood up after finalizing my works. Giving it to Zoey so she could hand it out to ZhuoCheng, after thirty minutes we were all called in the meeting room.
I stand beside Zoey on the room while ZhuoCheng was representing the album covers that I made. It was just a sketch and simple colored, its not very pleasant yet.
While ZhuoCheng was discussing the drawing while explaining the meaning behind of each one of them. I wrote an explanation behind the paper so it would be easy for him to read. I smiled and looked proudly.
The team were whispering and murmuring at each other while discussing their plan. They liked the last drawing that I made. It was based on the novel that I really liked.
The drawing has a patterns of clouds, a symbol of quqin and a flute. It was based on the novel named "The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation,"
The story contains a lot of tragic, but I admire the romance between the two main characters. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji. The drawing that I made is dedicated to their infinite and undying love for each other.
I was happy that they all liked it, my eyes caught Wang Yibo's gaze. He was looking at me intently and somehow proud. I smiled at waved at him and unexpectedly he waved back.
ZhuoCheng was explaining it well that it made the other staff cried. I swear, I know how you feel. Very well.
After the presentation, they asked for more days to discuss about it and if there are any other changes. We all agreed, now I could take time to make it prettier.
"It was lovely," Yibo said when we all went out. Everyone is packing their things already signing that it's the end of the day.
"Th-" I almost replied thank you, I cannot acknowledge that! Or else he would know that I am Abacus!
"Our boss is talented and witty," I can't believe I am complimenting myself right now. This sounded so crazy.
"I know," he said, his eyes were shining, proudly and contented. As if he already knew how amazing I am as Abacus Pendragon.
"You did a great job," I said.
"Nah. It'll still take for how many months before getting it perfectly." He said, "I'm not that perfect you know,"
I nod at him, no one is perfect but yet you are perfect to me, on my own eyes despite you have your own flaws. Still looks perfect to me. "Chin up, you'll be there."
"Do you know how much your words mean to me?"
"No. Just right now," I chuckled at him. Yes, you too. You have no idea how much you bring comfort to me.
But I hope you'll be happy with him, and maybe settle your life once you're done working with your album. You deserve to be happy, you deserve everything.
☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆
I didn't proofread this chapter!
Hello! Sorry for the grammatical errors! I acknowledge my mistakes and thank you for reading!
A/N: YALL ARE BEING SO NICE ILOVE YOU ALL!!!