"I'll have you know, a deep tenderness grows for you, who have stained me. I find that all that exists around me now, is full of you."
Segovia Amil
There were only three things I was brutally aware of: I was in an extraordinary amount of pain, I was in an unfamiliar bed, I was not alone.
My head was pounding and there was a deep ache across my limbs. Any small movement I tried to make had my wounds burning. I had been stripped down to my underwear, my injuries wrapped - and hopefully cleaned - very little of my skin was untouched; most of my body had been covered by bandages.
"What happened?" I tried to ask, my voice raspy and broken. Speaking only a few words left my chest feeling tight, and my throat hoarse. I tried to sit up but a firm hand on my shoulder kept me in place in the bed.
Thane.
"I thought you were going to die."
No amusement, no exaggeration, just a blunt, awfully frightening statement. His expression matched the tone of his voice, his features drawn into a fierce scowl directed at me - as if it were my fault that I was attacked.
"I'm tougher than I look," I joked, the cracking of my voice proving that I was anything but tough in this moment. I was injured, vulnerable. I wanted nothing more than to burst into tears, a reaction I found unexpected. I wasn't usually one to cry over physical injuries, but this pain was like nothing I had ever felt before. He didn't respond to my awful attempt at humour, instead fixing me with a dark, stony stare.
"Where are we?"
"A patrol cabin," he answered shortly, words clipped. He wore a plain grey t-shirt stained with blood - my blood - and black shorts. His unruly dark hair was in disarray, and dark circles stained beneath his eyes. He looked exhausted.
I surveyed the room - what little I could see of it from my position on the stiff bed. The cabin was simple, barely furnished with only a bed and a door to what I assumed, hoped, was a bathroom. The rest of the room remained out of view.
How long had I been unconscious for?
Certainly enough time for my bladder to need relieving.
"I-" I sighed deeply, face scorching hot upon my oncoming request. I had never felt more embarrassed. I averted my guys from Thane's intimidating stare. "I need to go to the bathroom."
There was no question that the single most embarrassing moment of my life was having my Alpha carry me to the bathroom so I could relieve myself. I was completely unable to even look at him throughout the entire ordeal, my cheeks remaining scorching hot as I imagined a furious blush overcame my pale complexion. Thankfully, he seemed unbothered by it all, and I could only hope that we never spoke of this moment again.
"How long does it usually take you to heal?" He asked, once I was settled back onto the bed, this time propped up with pillows so I could at least face him. Though I wasn't sure I wanted to. Still his solemn expression remained, and I couldn't sure whether his frustrations were directed at me, or at the situation.
"I've never had injuries to this extent before. I don't know."
"You need to rest then, the more sleep you get the faster you'll heal."
I was feeling petulant; I didn't want to do as he told me. Yet I was exhausted. My head had not released its ceaseless pounding, and my eyes was ever so heavy.
***
When I awoke, Thane still accompanied me in the cabin, yet this time in the form of his wolf. The giant beast took up most of the bed, curled by my side, close enough for his thick, black fur to bush against me with every breath, but not close enough to apply any pressure to my still healing wounds.
A groan escaped as I shifted myself into a more comfortable position, the movement pulling at my still healing flesh.
Silver eyes locked onto mine as his head lifted slowly towards me. We remained still, fixed by each other's gaze for what felt like agonising minutes until I broke the silence.
"How long was I asleep this time?"
He continued to stare at me, making no move to shift back into his human flesh.
"You're wolf isn't what I would have expected."
Still my words were only met with silence.
"My brother-in-mating trained with your pack you know?" I murmured, eyeing his large form. He didn't make a sound, continuing to watch me. "He would tell me stories about your pack... about you. Nothing too detailed of course, your mysterious reputation remained intact. But I know he thought highly of you, respected you a great deal."
I offered him a small smile, unsure why I was telling him all of this. Perhaps simply to fill the uncomfortable silence, or perhaps I no longer wished to avoid the tension between us. I didn't know what else to do under the heavy weight of his gaze.
"Of course, I had dreamed of joining your pack ever since I was a teenager and began to understand the full gravity of my situation, so I was eager to hear anything and everything about you all. They felt a bit like fairy tales at the time, nothing more than stories of an ancient, wild tribe of wolves, of creatures to fear. And yet, all I've felt amongst your pack is admiration, and an overwhelming sense of pride that you would allow me to join you. Mitchell - my brother-in-mating sends his regards by the way."
He shifted on the bed, turning to rest his large head by my hand, still watching, attention completely on me. I'm not sure what possessed me to run my fingers through his fur, but he made no sign of disproval, so I continued. His course fur was thick, and even in the daylight was so dark, an endless pelt of black so dark it seemed to absorb the light that dared to touch it. It felt surreal to be so close to something that I had thought impossible.
"That day, at the Alpha meetings, I thought for sure you had rejected my transferal. But you hadn't, and suddenly I was packing my bags and saying my goodbyes to my family and Jack..."
He huffed besides me, the action sounding strange coming from a wolf, but his distaste for my old Alpha was clear.
"Can you shift back, please." I rolled my eyes. It felt ridiculous to be speaking to a wolf that couldn't offer me any words in return. I was tired of running from him now. Nero had been right, it had been fear to hold me back, and it would be cowardly to continue to hide from whatever it was that drew Thane and I together.
Strong muscles shifted beneath flesh. Dark, coarse fur danced with the movement, the streams of light from the nearby window shining against it. The bed dipped with his weight as he rose steadily to his feet and then to the wooden floor, each board creaking under his weight. He was a powerful creature.
Padding over to the far wall of the cabin, I watched in fascination as he began to shift, his back towards me.
Just like the night of my initiation, his shift was a painfully slow process. I could see the bones break, the skin tearing itself apart as fur transformed into dark hair and pale skin. When he was human again, he was left panting on his knees, reaching for black shorts that laid crumbled on the floor.
When he turned back to me, wearing nothing but the shorts and an impassive expression, he fixed me with his dark eyes and said nothing.
I couldn't stop my eyes from wandering, my mouth suddenly dry as I asked, "How long are we staying here?"
"Can you walk?" He answered, monotonously, eyebrow raised.
I could barely sit up.
"No," I sighed. "Where's Nero? The others?"
"They're back at the main house."
"And what, you're staying here with me until I heal?" I asked incredulously. He only nodded.
"You can't be serious... It could take days! Surely anyone else could watch me." Especially considering how hard we have both been trying to avoid each other, and how clear it is that you can barely stand to look at me right now.
He exhaled deeply, a long drawn out breath that matched the irritation flitting across his face. His eyes narrowed on me.
"Do you want a drink?" He asked, stalking over towards a corner of the room that I imagined was a makeshift kitchen. I failed to mask my surprise, eyes slightly wide, and jaw slack, and watched as he began to fill a pan with water. "Tea?" he prompted when I had yet to speak.
I nodded mutely.
More tense silence settled between us, the only sounds filling the cabin was the boiling of the water.
When he was placing a steaming mug in my hands, after lifting me into a more comfortable sitting position, he dragged an old wooden chair to my bedside. I felt immensely uncomfortable under his gaze, and already my flight instincts were back with a vengeance, but this time there was no where for me to run and hide. I was trapped in this cabin beside him, unable to move.
I struggled to lift the mug to my mouth, pain singeing across my skin with the movement, and gulped back the still too hot tea that burned my mouth. Anything to distract from him though.
His mere presence alone was too overwhelming. His scent, his image, it was all too much at a time when I felt far too weak and the farthest thing from in control.
"We need to talk," I sighed, the words a painful admission.
He didn't say anything.
"I-we," I struggled over my words, swallowing back a lump in my throat. I didn't even know what it was I wanted to say. What was there to say? Did I confess my all-consuming attraction for the male before me? Did I explain that despite my avoidance of him, he was seemingly all I could think about in the past week? That despite what I knew to be right, what I knew to be proper, I wanted nothing more than to have given into his advances that night in the water? "Thane-" I choked on his name.
He sighed, his neutral expression shifting, as something similar to disappointment took its place.
"Tell me about you and Alpha Paden," he uttered softly, re-directing the conversation.
"I-What?"
"You and Alpha Paden, you seemed close. You seem to know a lot of the Alpha's quite well."
I took me a moment to even process what he was asking, my mind still caught up in a tangle mess of my overwhelming desires for him.
"And that's surprising, given all the travelling I did for Jack?"
"Its surprising knowing how cold and reserved the Alpha's can be."
I couldn't help but smile at that statement. It was true, all Alpha's could be awfully unwelcoming when they wanted to be, especially to outsiders of their pack. But as I frequented them so often and was of seemingly no threat to them or their pack, they were perhaps a little less guarded when it came to me.
"We first met when I was over in Wyoming for pack business, I was only supposed to stay the one night before travelling back but the snow had been so bad I'd been forced to stay the week. Alpha Paden, she's-" I broke myself off with a grin, "She's a terribly impressive wolf, watching her spar with her pack, it had been..." I couldn't find the right words to describe just how captivating her skills had been. "Being forced to accommodate me for the full week, I suppose it was hard for her not to fall for my lovely personality," I joked, knowing all too well how biting my personality cold be at times. And in that week in Wyoming, I had certainly been far more tense that usual, stranded so far away from my pack.
"I can imagine," he input softly, too insincerely.
My eyes met his, and for a moment I couldn't look away, my breath catching.
"What about you?" I asked, clearing my throat as I forced my gaze to the still hot mug in my hands. "What about you and the Alaskan Alpha?"
"Allister? I've known him since I was a child."
"How old are you? I know you're the third eldest of the Alpha's but-"
"Second," he interrupted, my eyes shot up towards him and I felt my eyebrows knitting together to form a frown.
"What?" A smile quirked at the corner of his mouth, the small movement distracting me for a moment. If he knew how desperately I wanted to claim his mouth with my own, I knew he wouldn't just be sitting there beside me. Then again, I couldn't even lift my arms without causing myself pain, the likelihood of anything like that happening was very slim.
"I'm the second eldest. I grew up in England just under four-hundred years ago alongside the Alaskan Alpha. My parents were Charlotte and Hale Harris, my father considered to be one of the first Male Alpha's in England. He was actually Allister's Alpha – well, it wasn't quite the role Alpha's fill now, and we were only a small group, but he was certainly a leader. Unfortunately, my parents had a mortal lifespan, along with Allister's partner."
"Partner? Not mate?" I asked, my voice quiet and certainly unlike myself. But my mind was now reeling over the information he had shared. Four-hundred years old. The Alpha wolf I was lusting over had lived through the 1600′s.
"Mates... mates didn't exist, not in the same way they do now. Wolves weren't what they are now, their ageing, their transformation, even the way packs were structured, especially in size. Some wolves evolved and some didn't, left in the past to be forgotten. Allister's partner was human anyway, so she had a mortal lifespan. The rest of our pack died and all that remained was Allister, Samual and I, the first line of British immortal wolves."
Samual, the wolf he had assigned to Nevada. A wolf possibly four-hundred years old.
"Eventually Allister and I travelled to America, like many wolves, when it became clear the natural wolf population in England was diminishing. You know your wolf history?"
I shook my head, "Only what Nero told me briefly," before the attack.
"Wild wolves in England have always been hunted, as early as the 13th century, and by the 15th century they were pretty much extinct. I spent all of my life moving from one place to another, our pack constantly being hunted. My parents refused to leave England, not even to migrate up north to Scotland where – while scarce – wolves still roamed. When my parents died, I didn't hesitate to move to America. We couldn't survive in England, not just the three of us."
"But you didn't stay together?" From what I knew, the Alaska Alpha had been in charge of his pack since it's creation.
"Allister is not a social wolf. I stayed in Colorado helped construct the packs as you know them now, while Allister migrated to Alaska with Samual. It was just the two of them at first, but Allister is such a powerful wolf, others up their quickly felt drawn to him until his pack was formed."
"And you stayed in Colorado by yourself," I commented. He nodded. "Were you not lonely?"
I couldn't help but think if he too had had a partner, a human with a mortal lifespan that had passed long ago. I certainly didn't have the courage to ask.
"I was, at first. But then I met Adriel and he became my closest friend. And then Lorcan and Sandra eventually immigrated to America and lived beside me. Despite whom my father was, I hadn't ever considered myself an Alpha; there was hardly a lineage or title to pass down through blood like the packs do now. But we were highly trained wolves, old wolves, and as I had a crucial part in the formation of the packs I was respected. Eventually things evolved to what they are now."
"An Alpha chosen by his pack." I didn't know what expression my face reflected, but I felt nothing but respect as I regarded the wolf before me, appraising him with my eyes. "You're certainly nothing like I thought you would be," I murmured softly, mostly speaking to myself.
"I could say the same for you," he countered, voice just as soft, gaze just as intense.
We stared at each other; one, two, three seconds that seemed to drag forever until he stood to his feet abruptly, the action catching me by surprise.
"You need to rest again; your body will be using a lot of energy to repair itself. Sleep. I'll prepare some food."
He left me no room to argue, already stalking towards the sink with both our mugs in his hands.
***
When I next awoke, I was greeted with the glorious scent of food that had my stomach growling in hunger. I was able to move my arms more freely now without pain and I wasted no time in devouring the plate he set in front of me. When I had finished eating, he stated that he had to change the dressing on my wounds and see how well I had heeled so far.
I didn't dare try to shift too much by myself, even though I had yet to feel any great pain as he sat me up fully to remove the bandages across my chest and torso. Had I been a normal wolf I would have fully healed long before now. How long had I even been in the cabin, how long I had slept under his watch?
With gentle fingers he began to unravel my bandages and dressing just below my breast, slowly revealing the pale skin of my abdomen. My skin, awfully white compared to his long fingers, was tinged a light shade of pink. In fact, the only evidence of my injuries was some faded scarring that I knew would also disappear as my body continued to heal.
He inhaled sharply at the sight, fingertips caressing the uneven skin with such a tender manner. My breath caught in my throat as I watched him, completely frozen beneath his touch as his hands continued to stroke a soft path across my skin. My lips parted ever so slightly, and I noticed his Adams apple bob.
"You've almost completely healed," he murmured, his deep voice sending a shiver through me. "Are you in much pain?"
I didn't answer right away, too caught up in the moment, until his gaze lifted, and his dark eyes locked onto mine. I was trapped under his attention, but found myself not wanting to be released.
"N-o," I croaked, voice thick, when I realised he was still waiting for an answer. Truthfully, I couldn't feel anything other than the heat from his skin searing into mine. My tongue darted, swiping to wet my bottom lip as my stomach flipped.
His eyes followed the movement, widening. Finally, his hands stilled, ceasing their dreadful teasing, but they remained pressed against my flesh. The mere contact alone was maddening.
"Emily." His voice was low, and thick with a tension that had my core clenching in desire. Hands turned to fists, my fingers gripped at the thin bed sheets, as if to stop them from reaching out and pulling Thane closer to me, eliminating the retched distance between us.
Ah hell, I thought, feeling the last of my resolve crumbling. What use was it to keep fighting this?
"Thane," I whispered, cursing at how unintentionally sensual his name sounded on my lips.
He shuddered; eyes clenching shut at the sound of my breathless voice. A tortured growl caught in his throat, and he jolted back, startling me. I watched, heart leaping in my chest as he moved to distance himself from me.
Instinctively my hand shot out, fingers curling tightly around his wrist. Thane stilled, disbelieving eyes scanning my expression, looking for an answer. My own eyes dropped to his mouth, a mouth I had thought of far too much in the past few days in very inappropriate ways. And now once again I was thinking of all the sinful things I wanted that mouth to do to me.
"Kiss me," I commanded softly, the bold words surprising even myself.
His eyes widened a fraction, and I saw the hesitation flit across his face, and the desire.
"Are you sure?" He breathed, voice cracking.
"Thane, please."
Nothing could have prepared me for when our lips finally met.
It was as if I had been in a dream these past weeks, forever running from and yet simultaneously yearning for his touch; my conflicting emotions clouded and unreachable, undecipherable. Yet now I had abruptly awoken, and startling clarity had finally blessed my chaotic and disorientated mind. Pure insanity is what it had been to have run from this.
His lips pressed to mine with a great urgency, and bruising enthusiasm. His hands skimmed up my torso and across my covered breasts to cup my jaw and hold me to him, as he sat hunched, his entire body curved into my presence. I gasped into his mouth and moaned as his tongue captured my own. Thane's answering groan had me all but unravelling in his arms.
My own hands reach out, caressed his strong shoulders, and pulled his body closer, fingers threading through his hair as I held his mouth to mine. The heat of his bare torso seared into my skin. I never wanted this to end. The weight of him, as his hips pinned mine was delicious.
His desire was evident as his erection pressed between my thighs on that all-important spot - the pressure was so intimate, with only the thin material of his shorts and my underwear between us.
This wasn't anything like the sweet soft kiss I had first shared with Jack. This was more than just a kiss, and it was fuelled with a burning fire that had set my skin alight. Every touch from Thane's wandering hands had me writhing beneath him and begging for more. I never wanted this to end.
He pulled way, chest heaving, leaving me gasping for breath beneath him. His hair was now dishevelled, his mouth pink and there was a definite gleam in his eyes. His hands were pinned at either side of my head as he leant back to observe me, and the muscles in his arms were taut with restraint.
"I'm not hurting you? You're not in pain?" He asked, attention unwavering as he waited for me to shake my head, and then his eyes immediately dropped to my lips again, and I saw any restraint he had in this moment waver.
"Don't stop," I begged, voice hoarse as I gripped his waist and tugged him back to me, my arousal stifling.
This was not like my time with Jack at all. This was overwhelming, all consuming. I didn't just want Thane in this moment, I needed him.
I heard the rumble of his chest as he chuckled, pride evident in his expression just as he returned his mouth to mine, this time slower but just as demanding. He took my bottom lip between his teeth, biting softly; my nails dug deep into his flesh, scratching at his back. His hips bucked, thrusting against me, and my cry of pleasure was caught between our mouths. Instinctively, my knees pinned at his sides, keeping him close to me as my hips began to writhe, desperate to create friction between us.
So fast. This was going so fast and yet I hadn't the ounce of care to stop.
I felt his hand at my hip, fingers teasing the band of my underwear, before daring to stroke my inner thigh. The hand buried in his hair gripped tight, tugging at the short strands as anticipation ate away at me. I was all but whimpering as I felt the slow, sensual path he took from my inner thigh towards my sex. I almost sobbed as his fingers found my clit.
My hips bucked, and his name was a strangled cry on my lips.
His mouth was on my neck, and my eyes clenched shut as he began a torturous teasing with his fingers, doing nothing to relieve the ache pulsing between my legs. A finger slipped between me, rubbing my inner wall as his thumb continued to rub my clit. Another finger pushed inside me, and another moan escaped.
This was too much. I wasn't sure I could take much more of this pleasure. Already my orgasm was building within me.
Finally, his mouth found mine once again. It was as his lips passionately claimed mine, and his hands continued to pleasure me that I finally came apart in his arms. He held me until the last quiver of my orgasm racked through my body, before shifting to lay on his side beside me, his body still pressed to mine.
"That... that was a lot," I exhaled breathless, the shock of what had happened between us only just catching up to me. So quickly had I allowed him to touch me so intimately, so quickly had I abandoned my morals. Yet, I held no regret.
A frown marred Thane's otherwise attractive face, my words clearly misconstrued as some form of remorse or shame. Understandable considering my almost 180 shift from avoiding him any chance I could to lusting over him like an animal in heat. I placed a hand on his chest, a slow, lazy smile stretching across my mouth.
I wasn't sure what else to say, still needing a moment to process everything fully. Instead I leant towards him, resting my cheek against his solid chest, and hoping that my actions reassured him.
His scent, purely masculine, filled my sense and I had no shame in breathing him in. I felt his lips pressing to my head and an arm curve around my waist holding me to him.
I had no idea what this shift in our relationship meant, how to possibly proceed from this point with him as my Alpha. And while fear clenched my heart, I didn't dare utter a word, not wanting to disturb the intimate moment still lasting between us.
I have written and re-written this chapter so much, unsure if this is where I wanted to take the story. But here we are, hope you all like it.
The next chapter is already up on Inkitt if you can't wait for the next update on Wattpad. I'm not sure when the next update will be as I've yet to write Chapter 18 and onwards yet and the UK's national lockdown is ending soon so I will be going back to my second job (therefore will be very busy). But I'll try and write as often as I can.