"What do you think, Mordred?" I asked my best friend quietly once we were back in my room after taking a completely silent walk back. Alyssa was helping me unlace the bodice behind my screen while I spoke, and Mordred assumed his position leaning against my bedpost. "Should I become their ward?" I could feel the shock emanating from Alyssa as Mordred responded.
"You know who you are, Ariel. But you know the faith you and I share in Arthur and his future decisions, as well. Besides, then everyone would call you 'milady' and it would be very amusing to watch you become so flustered."
"Thank you, Mordred," I grunted jokingly as Alyssa tripped, suddenly pulling the corset tight again.
"Sorry Ariel," she whispered. I giggled.
"It's fine," I whispered back.
"But... on a serious note," he began again once his chuckle died down. I could hear him get slightly closer to the screen, and his voice lowered a few octaves, getting slightly quieter in tone, setting a much more serious atmosphere. "I think you should accept."
I was shocked for a moment.
"But... The Druids-"
"Would be proud to know you're following your heart, as well as your destiny. Besides, if neither Arthur nor Gwen cares about your past as a Druid, why should you? Where you once were always influences you, but you can't let it rule."
I slipped my nightdress over my head and stepped out from behind the screen while Alyssa gathered my clothes and readied everything for me to sleep.
"You're right," I agreed. "And from a diplomatic position, I would have more influence to help the king move forward with his destiny to create Albion," I said quietly enough for Alyssa not to hear as I looked at him through the dim moonlight. "However, I do not believe the time is right. When I feel the timing is correct, I will accept their offer... However, I wish to tell them the whole truth before I do so."
He just looked at me for a long moment before walking to me.
"To think," he murmured, brushing some of my hair out of my face, making my face burn. "I'm in the presence of the future princess... And doesn't she look it?" He complimented, brushing his hand along my cheek.
"Mordred, I'm in my nightdress," I laughed, casting my eyes down as I blushed so many shades of red I knew I'd give Merlin's red scarf a run for its money.
He moved his hand to my chin and moved my face upward so I was looking at him.
"Follow your heart," he whispered before kissing my forehead softly and sweetly. Before I could say anything else, he walked out of my room toward his own.
I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding before collapsing onto the bed with a sigh.
"It seems to me that Sir Mordred is beginning to realize how lucky he is to have you," Alyssa said with a giggle before speaking with me for a while and then leaving for home.
It was a long day.
~:~:~:~:~
The next day, I had taken a ride with Mordred. The day after, I convinced Arthur to let me in on more meetings, as to 'inform myself' on how the kingdom worked, to 'ready myself as a possible future-ward'. The day after, I was moved to another room, closer to the royal ones, as conditioned by the king to allow me place in said meetings. Then the day after, I attended a few meetings and had supper with Mordred.
This day, I had attended a meeting and found Sir Ranulf had been killed in the East. Arthur began readying himself to bring a party out to the East to seek justice, and I began helping with the preparations, getting an approximate number and figuring out the food portion of their travels.
I was making my way up to Arthur's chambers when Mordred ran into me and told me the news.
I tried to seem excited, but more than anything, I was worried. I spent the rest of the day biting my lips until they bled in worry whilst I helped Mordred pack for the travel, the evening crying whilst I tossed and turned, and the next morning I awoke before dawn with a sick feeling in my stomach. I got dressed methodically before making certain everything was ready for the trip. I was clumsy that morning, to put it lightly. Distracted and exhausted from a night filled with tossing and turning with worry landed me a shaking, stumbling mess.
"You sure you haven't forgotten anything, Mordred?" I heard Leon call to him as I carried the packs for the men to them, seeing them all for the first time that morning.
"Do you think so?" Mordred asked.
"Isn't he missing a dagger?" Percival asked, and Mordred turned to his saddle to see it there with him.
"I can't see a water bottle," Elyan joked. And yet again, his water bottle was right there.
"His boot. He's missing a boot, I think," Percival joked before Mordred realized they were messing with him and gave them a funny look while they laughed.
I stumbled slightly before I handed Arthur a pack, and then Merlin as well. Arthur gave me a concerned look, but I just nodded and moved on to the other knights, who I helped with their food until I reached Mordred.
"Stay safe for me?" I asked quietly, keeping my eyes averted, trying to stem my tears before they began again.
"I will," he agreed, and he captured my hand. "Ariel, look at me." I swallowed thickly before I looked up at my best friend, the tears threatening to spill over again. "Just trust that I will make the right decisions--and trust in the knights--and in Arthur. They won't let any harm come to me if they can help it."
I nodded, biting my lip again and looking away, but he took me by my chin so I couldn't look away, and he just looked into my eyes for a few moments, willing me to tell him what was on my mind.
"You know I worry whenever we go into the unknown without each other," I relented, and he chuckled, squeezing my hand and making my heart leap. Oh, how I loved the way he chuckled.
"Just trust that I'd never not return to you."
"I do," I told him whole-heartedly. His eyes flickered to my lips, and my heart picked up speed.
"I'm... anxious to return," he whispered, suddenly much more serious, his eyes holding such intense emotion that I just didn't understand.
"Why?" I asked, my heartbeat picking up speed.
"Because I-"
"Mordred!" Arthur called, cutting him off. "We've got to be going!"
Mordred nodded and pulled me in for a long, meaningful hug before he mounted his horse.
"Promise me you'll be careful," I begged once again.
"Always," he agreed with an excited grin, and I smiled at him before saying my goodbyes to Merlin and Arthur and watching them leave beside the Queen.
The next few days were spent in worry until he came back with the men, and I saw them arrive from a window in the upper parts of the castle. Immediately, I was off like a rocket, beaming as I ran as quickly as I could, my heart burning, racing in my chest as I pushed to go as fast as I could, and then I spotted him with the other knights.
"Mordred!" I called, and the men turned to see me, likely a right mess, my skirts hitched up, out of breath, my face bright red from happiness. He beamed and I leapt into his arms, laughing as he spun me around like he used to when we were children. I pulled away. "Thank goodness you're alright!"
"He did wonderfully, Ariel," Arthur said proudly and I beamed at him.
"First mission went perfectly," Elyan agreed.
"So you didn't make them stop to catch the grasshoppers with you? Or is that a privilege only reserved for me?" I teased, and the men laughed while Mordred made a face.
"If I remember correctly, when I traveled with you last, you couldn't stay on your pony for five minutes without finding another thing to stop to look at," Arthur picked at me.
"I was nine!" I defended.
"As was I!" Mordred exclaimed, and we laughed again. I began walking and talking with the knights happily, my arm wrapped through Mordred's the entire way. I'd never felt so relieved in my life.
We spent the rest of the day completely in one another's company, and for the first time in days, I managed to get a full night's rest.
But the next morning...
"What?" I breathed, tears filling my vision.
"Ariel, I must," Mordred insisted. "How would you feel if under your protection, something like this happened right under your nose?"
"I..." I trailed off. "And what would you say to me if I felt that way?"
"If you had a safe way to make up for it, I would encourage it."
"Yes, but this isn't safe, Mordred," I insisted, and he sighed.
"I'll be fine," he told me softly, turning to look at me in all his knightly glory. "You just have to trust me. I have a feeling I'll be needed." I bit my lip nervously, and he sighed gently before he pulled me in, holding me tightly. "I promise I'll be back soon enough," he whispered into my hair before he kissed my head and was off to speak with Arthur.
"Ariel, Merlin," Arthur called, and I looked up at him. "Make sure Mordred has everything he needs."
My heart sank and worry set in before I helped Mordred ready himself.
I said one last prayer as I saw the men off, and I tried to reassure myself. He was fine last time. Why should this time be any different?
It was but a day before the men came back, and I felt a pain in my chest at the wait ahead. A burning... I worried all the more for Mordred's well-being.
The next day, as the men arrived, my eyes widened when I noticed Mordred was missing from the company, and a body had been laid over the back of a horse. My heart sank, and I feared the worst.
"No," I whispered, fearing any louder and my heart would break. That was the only word that ran through my head as I ran faster than I ever knew I could down to the courtyard.
No.
It couldn't be. He couldn't be...
He promised.
"Mordred!" I shouted, as I burst through the door and leapt down the steps. I missed the heartbroken, pitying looks from the men as I ran to him, my heart racing, a wail of anguish escaping my lips, and I was held back by Percival and Arthur as my legs gave out and they carried him - Mordred - my love - into the castle. My legs gave out from under me as I sobbed, and I felt the men hold me tightly, comforting me as I sobbed into my shaking hands, my eyes wide as I watched the man carry Mordred off and Arthur told me of a glimmer of hope.
"He's not dead, Ariel," he told me. "He's not gone. I swear to you, we'll do everything we can to keep him with us."
~:~:~:~:~
A few hours later, and I felt numb sitting beside Mordred with Arthur and Gaius. Gaius had worked in silence, asking me to bring him things and giving me tasks to help me distract myself and quit crying like a fool.
"Merlin is right. This is no ordinary wound. There is magic at play," Gaius told us.
"Can you save him?"
"I am but a physician - there are limits to my knowledge," Gaius admitted, and my heart sank. If Gaius couldn't save him... maybe me or Merlin could.
"There must be something that can be done," Arthur insisted.
"Perhaps. I shall do everything in my power, sire," Gaius agreed sadly, and Arthur stood.
"Let me know the moment he improves... or..." I swallowed thickly and took ahold of Mordred's hand.
"I shall," Gaius agreed, and I felt tears prick my eyes once more.
"Ariel," Arthur called, and I looked up at him to see guilt that made my eyes well up to the brim. "I'm so sorry." I shook my head.
"Mordred promised me he'd do what he thought was right," I told him quietly, looking back to our entwined hands, my voice thick and raspy. "His decision was to save your life, and thus Camelot as well. I could not be more proud of him." There was another silence.
"Do you wish to come dine with me and Gwen this evening?" Arthur asked in an attempt, likely, to distract me, and I stayed silent for a few moments.
"I am uncertain that I could eat much of anything at this moment in time, Arthur," I admitted softly, unable to meet the eyes of anyone as more tears spilled over and I used a finger to wipe them away quickly.
"I understand," Arthur insisted softly before he kissed the top of my head and left the room.
"Magic could save him," Gaius said, and I looked up at him. Could it? "But I believe it's only something that can be done as a pair. The both of you would have to participate. I am not nearly strong enough to reverse the curse of the soothsayers."
"I cannot save the life of a man destined to kill Arthur," Merlin denied, and I felt a pang of heartbreak. Not only heartbreak, but anger. Raw fury. I felt more tears gather in my eyes and spill over, trying not to let the rage take over, knowing my powers could easily break past my barriers and harm others.
"If Mordred is destined to take the King's life, why has he just saved it?" Gaius reasoned.
"I cannot ignore what the dragon said."
"And what, pray tell, did 'the dragon' say?" I finally voiced, my tone harsh, and I was met with silence. I looked up to see Merlin, shocked and confused. Likely because I couldn't think of a single time I had ever spoken in such a way, with such a hateful and angry tone. Not to anyone. "Hm? Did he tell you to kill Mordred? To destroy me in the process?"
"He said..." Merlin trailed off.
"And since when did you know an all-knowing dragon?" I asked, my voice wobbling slightly, but the fury turning my words to a hissing sound I never even knew a human could make. "Or do you not trust me enough for that, either?" Merlin looked down, guilt lining his features. "What did the dragon say, Merlin?"
"He said..." he swallowed. "If you could not be trusted, then neither could Mordred. He told me to be careful where I lay my loyalties, because if I made the wrong decision..." My mind flashed to a part of the prophecy long-since forgotten. A part of the prophecy I hadn't even known when I was born. A prophecy of fire. Of anguish and pain, and the end of all things good. "Then everything would fall into ruin." I glared at Merlin for another moment before turning my eyes back to Mordred.
"I would listen to that dragon, Merlin," I hissed, more tears of anguish falling, and I felt my nails dig into my hand as I clenched it tightly, trying to reign myself in as my pain took hold of me.
The moment Gaius and Merlin left to give Arthur the news, I broke down into pained, anguished sobs. Without Merlin's help, Mordred would die, and all I could do was sit by and watch as a man I trusted betrayed me and killed the man I loved beyond words.
Gaius came back alone and told me Arthur's plan, and I hoped beyond anything that this little glimmer of hope wouldn't be a lost cause as well.
All we could do was wait to see the outcome.