This is the third time, I'm so annoyed with myself!!! I stg I give you all permission to hit me if the next chapter isn't up by Sunday
TJ POV:
I felt lightheaded stood there, clearly crying in the middle of the pathway at midnight with Chris staring at me. God if I'd known he'd be here tonight-
'How's it going?' He asked, kicking the ground awkwardly.
I almost laughed, my face was so red I could he spotted a mile away, 'Great, Yeah...you?'
'Pretty good,' Chris smirked at my obvious sarcasm.
There was another awkward silence when suddenly he said.
'Hey, do you want to go to The Spoon for a milkshake?'
'At midnight?'
'It's still open late on Saturdays right?' Chris' hazel eyes sparkled.
'It is,'
'So, what're we waiting for?'
'It's just I...' I trailed off, not wanting to be rude.
'You...don't wanna hang out with me?' He didn't look offended, more...interested. How am I meant to read that expression?
'It's not that, everything's just happened so fast I feel like I need to slow down,' I replied breathlessly.
First Libby shouts at me.
Then Cyrus breaks up with me.
Now Chris is here?
What next?
Chris stepped tentatively forward, 'You don't have to go but I don't particularly like the idea of you strolling the streets at midnight unattended,'
I raised an eyebrow, 'Says you, you're only a almost a year older than me,'
'Still, 16 years makes me much more responsible than you and in this state? Let me walk you home or somewhere other then this spot where we've been stood for ages,' Chris looked hopefully at me.
I never could say no to those eyes.
I nodded, 'We can go to The Spoon,'
It wasn't far from where we were but I did enjoy the few minutes of light, easy conversation and walking next to each other...maybe a little too closely.
I'm not too sure, I'm tired.
The Spoon was empty at this time as they're usually only open this late for takeout but I guess also for rebellious teens to chill in when escaping their houses and thoughts.
Chris strolled over to the corner window booth and sat down.
I sat opposite, 'Your favourite booth,'
'I'm so glad it was free,' Chris joked.
He made me laugh.
A very tired waitress dragged her feet over to us and got our order of taters and milkshakes.
Cyrus likes them.
So does Chris.
The waitress was so tired that she didn't even take our money, she just went out back to probably get some rest.
Chris claimed the taters his own, which I didn't really mind because I don't think I'd be able to swallow one without thinking of Cyrus.
Not that I'm not thinking about him already.
'This place is the same as always,' Chris breathed in the scent, 'Well, I remember the midnight staff being more friendly,'
'Angel moved away,' I stirred my milkshake, 'For college,'
'Oh,' Chris replies awkwardly, probably feeling guilty.
He shouldn't really.
'How are things at photography boarding school?'
Chris grinned but drummed his fingers on the table, 'It's really good, all the people there are really nice but of course you get the odd twat for example, Ruby,' he rolled his eyes, 'She steals everyone's ideas, you gotta lock all your work in a safe to save it from her acrylic nailed hands!' He lifted his hands and twiddled his fingers for effect making me laugh again.
Wow he...hasn't changed one bit.
'Anyway, how's your photography going? You remember everything I taught you right?' Chris raised both his eyebrows.
I smiled a little, 'Of course, I use the aim focus snap technique every time,'
'Good,' Chris was pleased.
I think I should probably tell him, 'I...actually ran into Libby today,'
'Oh,' his smile faded, 'What happened?'
'Had a go at me,' I mumbled.
'Is that why you were crying?' Chris asked hesitantly.
I lifted my head from my drink, 'No, not exactly,'
'She just yelled at you out of the blue?' Chris frowned.
'I was hanging out with Walker, Natalie and Marty.' I explained.
Chris shook his head, 'Why?'
Breathing in deeply and exhaling the anxiety out of me. I told him, 'Because they're friends with my boyfriend,'
Chris froze, 'You...have a boyfriend?'
'Yeah he...' I remembered, 'I had a boyfriend about a couple hours ago but he broke up with me,'
'Was it just casual?'
'I don't know...I didn't think so.' I laughed at my patheticness, 'It was about as serious as a couple of months can get,'
'Why'd he end it?'
Funny he should say that.
I went back to staring at my vanilla milkshake, 'Because...I didn't want to tell him about you,'
Chris didn't say anything.
I added, 'Well, not just you specifically but...you know.....the other things that happened,'
'I understand,' Chris ate his taters, 'They don't get it,'
I caught his eyes, 'You always did,'
Chris smiled.
'But I still think I should've told him,' I continued, 'He was the only one who didn't know why one of his best friends was mad at me,'
'I can see how that would be frustrating, ' Chris agreed, 'But he should've thought about how you felt. It's not easy to tell people about things you regret,'
'Thanks,'
Chris gave me a warm smile, 'Of course,' he seemed a bit more serious now, 'You don't...still do that anymore right?'
'No,' I responded firmly.
'That's a relief,' Chris moved his dark brown curls from his eyes, 'I'm so happy for you,'
I shifted uncomfortably. I hate talking about it.
'So...why are you back in Shadyside?'
Chris retreated his hands into his bright red sweater, 'For the summer, we get them early because we haven't been home in so long,'
'Lucky, I feel like maths is killing me,' I sunk into my seat.
'Still no better huh?' He bit his lip, god he always did that, 'I could always start tutoring you again,'
'It's ok, I get most of it now it's just the dyscalculia that drives me insane,' I held my head.
Chris seemed slightly disappointed but moved the conversation on, 'You still hanging out with Reed and Lester now a days?'
'Yep,'
'You ever tell them?'
I paused, 'They know about the photography and vinyl thing, that I'm gay and the dyscalculia but...I never said anything about last year and all that stuff,' I got quiet saying that.
'May I ask why?' Chris sipped his strawberry milkshake.
I pulled at my sleeves, 'They'd just think it's stupid,'
'It's not stupid,' Chris reached across the table to put a comforting hand on my shoulder, 'But tell them when and if you're ready. It's a hard thing to talk about,'
There goes Chris with the astonishing comforting again.
When his hand left my shoulder, it felt cold.
I wish I'd sat next to him.
'Anything else new I should know about?' Chris asked lightly, pulling me from my daydream.
'There's a new vinyl record store on the street,' I pointed out the window to the shop, it's black frame shining in the moonlight as did the neon rainbow coloured sign that stuck out at the front reading "Topshelf Vinyl", the name of the store. Through the glass we could just make out the white rows containing hundreds of vinyl record albums.
'Have you been?' He asked me, his beaming face making mine do the same.
'Yeah, it's pretty good actually,'
'We should go together. We could write a list of vinyls they must have and try find them. Whoever finds them all first wins whilst the loser has to do whatever the winner says,' Chris suggested.
'That sounds awesome,' I nodded, 'But...are you sure you wanna hang out with me?'
Chris rolled his eyes, 'Who else would I hang out with, my camera?'
'Riley! And Stewart!'
'They're homophobic dicks,' Chris stated, 'All my friends from photography boarding school don't live in Shadyside,' he finally pulled his hands from the window, 'So I'm stuck with you, unless you don't wanna hang out with me,'
'I don't really have anything else to do,' I shrugged, playing cool.
Of course I wanted to hang out with him.
'Cool!' Chris finished his milkshake.
'Are we...you know.....going to have to go in secret?' I asked hesitantly.
Chris gazed at me for a while, 'What do we have to hide?'
'Nothing it's just...we used to-. Never mind, it was stupid,' I ran an anxious hand through my hair.
Chris twiddled his cup in circles, not wanting to respond.
'So...are you.....out?' I inquired.
He did "a sort of" gesture with his hand, 'I am at school but I still haven't said anything to my family or any of my friends here,'
'Not even Libby?'
'No...it's not that I'm hiding it anymore, I just haven't found the moment. Have you told your family?'
'Absolutely not except Amber. My mom is too busy trying to stop the family from falling apart and my dad is too busy making sure that it does,' I ranted.
Chris bit the inside of his cheek, can he stop doing that-, 'Still?'
'Yep, it's seriously ridiculous,' I almost laughed about it it's so ridiculous, 'But I steal his cars which helps my anger about it a bit,'
Chris raised his hands, 'No judgement...as long as it's not like before-'
'It's not...though me and Ambs smashed his favourite the other day-'
'Teej!'
'But other than that I'm a goody two shoes now,' I lied, 'Grade A student don't you know?'
Chris pursed his lips, 'As much as I'd love to believe that, I doubt that is true,'
'You're right, it's more like C's than A's for me,' I confessed.
Chris left the money the waitress should've collected on the table before getting out of the seat, 'Let's go,'
I followed him out the door where we walked closely side by side again in the direction of my house.
'How's photography school really going?'
'What do you mean? I told you-'
'Chris, every time you lie you move your hands in an unusual manor. You forget I know your quirks,' I smirked.
Chris sighed, 'Ok...it's tough,'
'How so?'
'I don't know...not many people like me there except my one friend but she has other friends so sometimes I'm just by myself. I try to make friends but I come off as wanting to take people's ideas like Ruby. The photography classes are really good though,' Chris admitted.
'What about parties?'
'What about them?'
'You should go!'
'I do!'
'Ok good! Then do something crazy!'
'How crazy?'
'I don't know, like, get so drunk you swing from a chandelier or wear a hotdog costume. Wait, I've got it. Go in drag!' I rambled a bit.
Chris chuckled, 'That would make an impression,'
'Trust me, your makeup skills would draw all the girls to you asking for tips. That happened to you all the time,'
'I never went out in drag, that was you asking me for tips,' Chris laughed.
'Ok but if you did, you'd make a lot of new friends. I'm just saying,'
'I will take that on board,' He said lightheartedly.
We arrived at my house but it felt like there was a force making neither of us move as we just looked at one another.
'Well...I better go inside,'
'Yeah,'
Still, we didn't move.
Becoming unparalysed, I was about to go to the door when Chris spoke.
'Maybe we could hang out tomorrow?'
I lowered my brows, 'I have school tomorrow,'
Chris shrugged, 'You still have my number?'
Guilt hit me as I stammered, 'Oh...uh...actually I-I don't...sorry,'
His expression faltered for a moment before the sweet smile was back on his face, 'That's ok, I still have yours. I'll text you the details. See you,'
'But I have sch-'
Chris strolled down the pathway without looking back or acknowledging my protest.
Did that seriously just happen?
Did I seriously just speak to Chris again?
And am I seriously going to skip school for him tomorrow?
The answer to all of those questions?
Yes.