okay, so the song is called 'don't go' by exo, and it's a really sweet song (and the title fits perfectly, i think, for this chapter), but i know a good majority of us can't speak korean, so let us enjoy the sweet instrumental version.
and i'm going to dedicate this to exo bc maybe then you guys will stop losing your members
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"I really hate weddings," I muttered as I flexed my shoulders, feeling the ache of keeping a perfect posture for over an hour and a half. "Darkwood, give me a massage."
"No, Darkwood denied, then he gave me a malicious smile. "Get your boyfriend to do it," and he nodded in Logan's direction.
Of course that prick would use that card. He knew, of course, that there was something odd between Logan and me. It took him an hour of watching our daily activity in the castle (or lack thereof, I should say), and a few questions answered by Jasper to piece together that Logan and I had something bad going on.
So now he made it a habit to bring up the tension as often as possible--his personal revenge for me accidentally spilling orange juice over his head after he told me my shirt looked ugly one morning.
Key word being 'accidentally.'
"I'm not her boyfriend," Logan said.
"I'm not his girlfriend," I pointed out at the same time.
There was a voice in my head that urged me to look over at him but I refused to let my head turn to face my bodyguard. My bodyguard. Yeah, I have no emotional obligation towards my bodyguard. In a valiant attempt to forget all about the confessions Logan and I had given each other two weeks ago, I had tried to think of Logan as my bodyguard and nothing else.
To take my mind off of the heightened awkwardness of the atmosphere, I decided to focus on the glamour and magnificence of the Whitepine wedding for the fiftieth time as a method of distracting myself. But there's only so much you can awe at the breath-taking beauty before your amazement becomes forced.
The Whitepines were one of the twelve noble clans of Cimeria. Today, we would be standing together to witness the holy matrimony of Olivia Whitepine and Marcus Alistair, Olivia's childhood sweetheart who apparently proposed the moment the two graduated.
The wedding was set in Helena's Garden because Olivia Whitepine was obsessed with having the perfect fairytale wedding. Technically, it wasn't even a garden. It was named such because centuries ago, Helena the Conqueror took out an entire army camp in this forest with her forces, and seated herself upon a makeshift throne before declaring this part of the woods her garden.
My life goals right there.
With tall evergreens, deciduous giants that had the most beautiful colors on their leaves throughout the seasons, and flowers with vibrant petals that artists spent their whole lives trying to replicate, Helena's Garden was the perfect place for a wedding. Even if the ghosts of the enemy army still lingered around here somewhere.
All the trees had been strung with golden lights, and hanging from the black cords were clear glass jars that held small candles inside, the flames dancing merrily, their light flashing against the glass. At the moment, there were white chairs set up alongside an aisle covered by a long red carpet with gold lace clinging to the edges. At the end of the carpet stood a wedding archway, wrapped with green ivy, spotted with white and red roses that patterned the green.
I felt as though I was attending a fairy dance and I half-expected Tinkerbell to fly out and sprinkle pixie dust all over us. Maybe she could give me some and I could fly away from all my problems. That would be nice.
Logan pressed a finger to the com in his ear, a frown upon his face. "Your Highness, I'll be back in a short moment. There's a problem outside."
I watched him stride away from our little group, already feeling the sting from the absence of his presence. The two of us rarely even stood in the same room anymore, and even though we were barely talking, at least he had been by my side.
"Your Highness?" Darkwood said with his eyebrows raised. "That's not a cute pet name at all. I thought the two of you were..." He trailed off to pucker his lips at me.
"I don't recall us being good enough friends for me to tell you," I replied, rolling my eyes. Darkwood feigned an expression of hurt as he placed a hand over his heart.
"That hit me right here, Sparrow. And here I thought trying to murder each other was the seal on our eternal friendship."
"Bruises and death threats. The ultimate friendship package," Jasper mused. "Sometimes, I think you two would make the best of friends with your whole 'be aggressive' deal."
Before either of us could untruthfully protest that we weren't aggressive, a couple of guests came up to us, bowing before me before asking how Jasper and I were. Of course, that wasn't their real aim. The moment we said we were fine, the guests snapped their attention Darkwood, the star of the show.
Everyone knew that Jasper had gotten kidnapped for a short while. When my parents left the hotel, the guests there immediately began documenting their day onto social media, and it didn't take long for the cameras and reporters to announce that Jasper Bishop was missing.
Thanks to the lovely people at the beach who came forward to eagerly claim the limelight for a few short seconds, my presence at the beach was spread and naturally, vans gathered at the ports, When Alec Darkwood reappeared from his trip to the afterlife, the whole country had seen him stumble onto the beach.
"I should just write a book. Maybe that'll stop everyone from bringing up the fire," Darkwood muttered as the guests finally walked away.
"Think of all the copies you have to sign though," I pointed out.
"But get this: I can sign it as, 'Alec, the boy who lived.'"
"Who's the geek now?"
His nonchalance was a façade, I realized, because the moment Jasper turned his laughter to the side to greet some passerby, I saw the muscle in his jaw twitch before the moment passed. I knew better than to press the issue--talking about emotions with Darkwood was never a fun ordeal. It was best to let his irritation simmer and blow off rather than ignite the flame. I'm reckless, not suicidal.
It was a while later that something interesting finally took place. And when I say interesting, I mean that the three of us were deep in a conversation nearing ultimate geek territory when suddenly, my insult at Darkwood was cut off as a ball of brilliant violet tackled me. I was knocked backwards in a flash, and for a second, I was unable to understand what the hell was happening.
"I can't breathe!" I coughed, flailing my arms.
"Park!" a familiar voice cried, and if possible, the girl's grip tightened around my chest. Then, she was pried off of me by a tall Asian boy with a rather amused expression on his face as his arms gripped the girl's tiny waist, keeping her pinned against him. Elijah stood by, laughing silently as he watched me struggle for a gulp of air.
"Let me go, Zen!" Minnie Bellamy demanded, her French accent seeping into her Cimerian dialect. "I haven't seen that girl in forever!"
"Neither have I, but you don't see me trying to kill my best friend," Zen said.
"You got to talk to her on the phone two weeks ago!" she argued, fighting against Zen's grip. However, despite how strong that French girl was, she still wasn't strong enough to break the grip Zen had whenever he was determined to hold onto something.
Like his gaming controller. Just try and take that thing away from him. His grip could crush the Kraken into dust.
"Not to mention it's not very nice to tackle people," I coughed, rubbing the base of my throat and shooting Minnie an angry look.
"But you do it to Zen all the time!" Minnie frowned.
"That's because Zen's an idiot."
"Excuse you," Zen intervened. "I'm offended."
"I meant for it to be offensive," I shot back. "Anyway," I broke off, smoothing the front of my gown before I glanced over at Darkwood, "I have someone for you to meet."
"Darkwood. Alec Darkwood," he introduced himself, though he kept his hands in his pockets to avoid his three-hundredth handshake of the day.
"You're a well-dressed corpse," Minnie commented, her hazel eyes giving Darkwood a quick once-over. Being a fashion designer's daughter, Minnie was blunt and straightforward, always having a crude remark about everything (and I mean, literally everything).
Unfortunately for her, she wouldn't have anything to complain about regarding Darkwood's appearance. My mother had had a suit tailored for Darkwood--and the company that provided the tailor was Bellamy & Co., the company Minnie's mother happened to be the chairwoman. It was a black suit with a sharp cut and notched lapels, nearly identical to Logan's. However, while Logan had opted for all black, simply finishing the outfit with a dark gold tie, Darkwood wore a dark green shirt underneath his jacket and a solid black tie.
"This is Minnie Bellamy, daughter of Adalyn Bellamy. Praise the suit, Darkwood. Compliment it like it was your girlfriend or else this girl will murder you," I introduced. Minnie smiled proudly at her mother's name, smoothing the violet dress that complimented her ebony skin whilst completely brushing off my jab at her violent streaks.
"And this loser here is Zen Li," I continued, jabbing my thumb in Zen's direction, "the half-and-half Chinese-Japanese gamer who managed to pin down the last signal you were by."
Zen had shown up in black jeans, a white t-shirt and a black blazer. At least he had the common sense to wear dress shoes rather than the colorful sneakers he loved to sport. The kid better hope that Olivia Whitepine didn't find him or he'd be kicked out the wedding.
"I sound like a dairy product, Park. Don't introduce me like that," Zen complained, pushing me aside so he could pull Darkwood's hand from his pockets. "Hi, my name is Zen Li. I am the suave, amazing, and much more talented genius acquaintance of the princess of Cimeria. You just need to know that if you need any sort of help with technical machines, you can just come to me."
"You sound like the part of the instructions manual that says to call maintenance if you can't put the machine together," I snorted, earning a shove from Zen.
"Good work with the signal," Darkwood praised with a slightly impressed grin as he shook Zen's hand. "Park told me that the device they used was one of the best devices to use if they wanted to bounce a signal, so it was supposed to be nigh impossible to pin it down."
"Do you want to hear something fascinating? It's actually high on the black-market list, so I went through a few agencies and found out that the last purchase of such high-tech gear was made through a bank account transfer that belonged to a Darkwood. A Darkwood that, according to Google, was supposed to be dead."
When Darkwood paled, Zen's grin grew even bigger. "I'm not holding grudges, Alec. If Park decided to let you walk free, then there's a reason. I trust the idiot."
"Hey!" I snapped.
"Was that offensive?"
I nodded.
"Good, I meant for it to be offensive."
Zen dodged a blow from me, laughing as he tugged on the curls of my hair before he resumed his conversation with Darkwood, both of them now much more relaxed and eagerly chatting about the latest tech in the field.
"I was supposed to introduce you next," I said to Elijah.
"He looks so much like Flynn, it's absolutely terrifying," my cousin commented, running his fingers through his black hair.
I glanced at my cousin, wondering if I should ask if Elijah had contacted Flynn about our newest addition to the family. At that moment, Elijah looked over my head and a big smile spread over his face, his next words drawing everyone's attention. "Your boyfriend's coming this way."
Minnie perked up instantly, her bored expression from listening to the boys vanishing. "Park has a boyfriend?"
"He's not my boyfriend," I grumbled right as Logan appeared by my side, looking visibly tense. Out of habit, I placed my fingers on his arm like I normally did whenever he was upset. Logan jumped, shocked at the contact, and I hastily pulled my fingers away.
"Sorry," I said hurriedly. "What's wrong?"
"The paparazzi," he answered, ignoring the fleeting moment. "They're trying to pry their way inside and it was getting difficult for security to keep some of the reporters out. Sorry about leaving, I was--"
"Logan Cross!" Elijah crowed, cutting off Logan to yank him into a hug. "I've missed you, future cousin-in-law!"
"I'm not...cousin...law," Logan choked out, prompting Elijah to let go of him.
"Did you say something, Logan?" my cousin asked, clearly putting on an innocent façade.
"I said I'm not--"
"Wait," Minnie piped up, throwing me a surprised glance. "Logan Cross? As in the Logan Cross? The demon king whose main goal is to sabotage the lives of innocent gingers?"
At this, Logan glared at me, and the tense atmosphere between us melted as I flashed him an impish smile.
"Is that how you describe me to your friends?" he asked.
"Oh, you should hear all the names she has," Zen snickered. "There's--"
"--no need for us to talk about that. You know what we need to do? We need to take a seat. Clearly, we're going to miss the vows," I said, ushering Minnie along, leaving no room for argument despite the fact that we had another good thirty minutes. Darkwood and Zen followed suit, laughing at my interference as we took our seats upon the white chairs.
Logan took his seat by mine, and suddenly I was extremely conscious of the way my arm brushed against his. Often times, I wished we had never said anything to each other. Then the two of us could sit side by side, not minding the way our arms touched. Now, every single bit of contact sent an electrical shock through me, and it wasn't a pleasant feeling.
The chamber orchestra seated underneath an abundance of golden lights in the corner began their song as the cello struck the beginning notes of Pachelbel's Canon in D. As the violins and piano joined in, the bride entered the clearing, looking like a modern day Cinderella as she strode gracefully down the red carpet, following the little flower girl who was tossing pink and white rose petals everywhere.
Olivia Whitepine reached the altar and her groom met her arrival with tears in his eyes as he took her hands into his. The priest began to recite the words sealing two fates into one.
It was over soon enough, ending with vows blooming with undeniable love, finalized with a kiss between the bride and groom. The audience stood up and gave a deafening applause as the couple broke apart, smiles and tears on their faces.
Logan and I stood up, joining the steady flow of guests that had decided to stop cheering to go stand in the front. Already, workers were surging out to fold up the chairs and drag out tables, spreading open ivory sheets to cover the surfaces.
It didn't take too long before an arrangement of tables had replaced the endless rows of chairs. Each table had a beautiful bouquet of white and gold roses placed in glass vases centered in the middle. Sparkling china plates had been positioned before every chair, with the complete amount of utensils needed for a full seven-course meal.
Zen and Minnie left to go join their parents, waving us goodbye before they disappeared into the crowd. Darkwood, Logan, and I ventured into the thick mass soon after that, weaving our way through couples and clans and celebrities clamoring for their seats.
There were bright glass plaques with black inscribed words reading the families that belonged at each table. Together, we found the table with the words Sparrow, Bishop, and Cross--and a tacked on sticky note that read Darkwood.
"How cute," Darkwood said. "I can see they put a lot of thought into mine."
Logan pulled out a chair and waited for me to sit down while Darkwood plucked the note off the glass and crumpled it up. He stood by his own chair, shooting Logan an unhappy glance.
"I don't get my chair pulled out?" he asked.
"I only do nice things for pretty princesses," Logan shrugged.
"Sparrow, tell him I'm a pretty princess too."
"Tell him yourself," I snorted.
The parental authorities joined us at our table, as well as Jasper and Elijah. A sudden pang struck my heart as I saw the empty seat reserved for Archer, who would never show up.
"Park, you look absolutely stunning," Catarina Cross complimented me, snapping me out of my thoughts as she took her seat across from her son. Her doe-eyed gaze flickered between Logan and me, a beam on her coral lips. Sadly, my mother had carried through her ideas of coordinating outfits between Logan and me, refusing my father's attempt to let me wear a blazer. Tragic, isn't it?
I ended up in a gorgeous gown with a subtle gradient of pale to dark gold. The dress flowed out from the hips in layers of sheer cloth, soft and light as water whenever my fingers would run over the material. The layers were cut unevenly, as though the tailor had imitated flower petals.
This was the one dress I would've thoroughly enjoyed if not for the fact that I matched with Logan. Every time I set my eyes on the color of his tie, I got stung by the consequences of my choice to push everything between us away.
"I just love how you guys match," Darkwood added, giving me a wicked grin. "You guys are just so cute.
Don't punch him, Park, I thought as I inhaled deeply. Violence is never the answer.
Things didn't progress down a better path after Darkwood's comment. It seemed as though no one was able to tell that Logan and I weren't fine. Compliments and slight teases were pushed onto us, all of them gushing about what a fine pair the two of us made.
There wasn't a course that went by without Darkwood and Jasper's little comments. By the time the fifth course was served, I was tempted to jab something with my fork. Specifically Darkwood.
You can imagine my relief when the bride and groom entered the dance floor, the chamber orchestra striking up "their song." Soon enough, several people began to join them, twirling their partners along to the rhythm of the music. Even my parents joined in, and I watched as everyone formed a path for the royal couple to enter.
"Has the thought crossed your mind yet that you risked your life coming back here just to watch these two kiss and dance?" Darkwood scoffed as the couple whirled on by, the bride giggling as the groom picked her up.
"Aren't you little miss sunshine?" Though, I admit, Darkwood had a strong point.
"I keep things real."
"Okay, Iggy Azalea."
The song changed once more into a violin and cello duet. I recognized the tune and displeasure sank in as I remembered the horrible, terrible memories that this song resurfaced.
"I hate this song," I mumbled, my fingers itching to follow the violin rhythm.
"It's because it took her ages to play the allegro section," Jasper snickered.
"Pity," Logan spoke up. "And here I was going to ask you to dance with me."
I stared at him, wondering what the hell was he thinking. Logan gave me a small smile and held his hand out. "One dance," he requested. "Just one."
Feeling hesitant, I bit my lips. Every bone in my body told me to say yes--what was the harm in one dance? After a few minutes of debating, I accepted, placing my fingers in his palm and the two of us got up.
Hand in hand, Logan led me onto the dance floor. I caught Minnie's eye on my way there and she gave me a subtle wink as Logan wrapped his around my waist. One of my hands rested on his shoulder while the other remained in his grip.
I'm not going to lie--I missed the warmth of his hand.
"You know," I mused out loud, "I've never really liked weddings."
"Why not?" he asked. "Is it because you can't dance?"
"I haven't stepped on your foot just yet!" I protested in mock outrage.
"Yet," he emphasized with a mean grin. I stomped on his feet with the heel of my shoe, watching his face contort in pain while he bit his lip and held it all in.
"You were saying?"
"You're a wonderful dancer," he seethed through gritted teeth. "Don't ever wear heels again."
We continued on dancing, changing our pace when the tempo of the song morphed into another tune. This one was much slower, so I shifted both my arms to wrap around his neck while he linked his hands around my waist. Our bodies drew closer as we swayed to the basses and cellos, plucking their strings.
"I forgot to tell you that you look beautiful tonight," Logan murmured into my ear after a minute or two. My eyes fluttered close as I began to set up the walls, and I pulled away from Logan.
"Cross, no," I said sternly. "We're not supposed to do that kind of stuff anymore. Not when the intentions aren't platonic."
"I can't help it!" he admitted, his voice laced with frustration. "You can't just expect me to give up on you so easily, Park. You've got no idea how long I've liked you and--"
"Logan, we just started being friends a couple of months ago," I interrupted.
"No, you don't understand," he groaned. Then, Logan glanced around, and I realized at the same time he did that we were attracting a bit of attention.
"I'm going to check on security for a minute," Logan sighed. "Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it." My bodyguard walked off with a brisk pace, and a flame of irritation sparked inside me. No one walks away from a conversation with Park Sparrow.
So I pulled up the hem of my dress and stormed after Logan. I caught up with him by the time the crowds of people were nonexistent. It was just the two of us standing in a private corner behind a section of trees.
"I said I'd take a minute," Logan said, his back turned to me.
"You can't just leave me in the middle of the dance floor," I grumbled. "That's a damage to my reputation."
"If you want me to forget, then go away. Don't tell me we can't have this and then make me stay," he snapped, turning around to reveal an anger burning in his gaze. When I took a step back out of the intimidation I felt at his anger, his eyes softened and he turned his whole body to face me. Slowly, he stepped closer and closer to me until the two of us were nearly chest to chest.
"What do you want, Park?" he asked. I didn't move away--I couldn't find the strength to move.
"I don't know," I admitted, running my fingers through my updo so that several strands fell to frame my face.
"You like me. I like you. Why can't we just..." His voice trailed off, a note of hope clinging to his words.
"Because I can't. You can't like me, Logan. It won't work out," I sputtered, feeling my emotions beginning to bubble and boil at the surface.
"You can't tell me who I can and can't like, Park," Logan said. I looked up, my mouth opening to try and explain, but Logan placed a finger over my lips, hushing me with ease. "Let me finish."
His finger move to brush a strand of hair behind my ear before drawing closer, his hands trailing down to my lower back.
"You think I haven't tried stopping this? I have. I tried telling myself that you're Alex Finch, the girl I hated. You're annoying and you're so unbelievably difficult to deal with because you can't ever listen to a damn thing I say, but even then, I wouldn't mind sharing my day with you. I want to be there for you, not just as a bodyguard. I want to be with you, by your side whenever you need me to be without any limits."
"Logan," I began, fearing what my answer would be because the longer he talked, the weaker my conviction became.
"I like you a lot more than I should, and it's damn near impossible to get me to stop. I don't want to stop."
My heart thundered in my chest as I closed my eyes, digesting each and every word in my mind. I want to tell him I feel the same, I though. And I opened my mouth, telling myself to just fuck it and go with whatever I wanted, but the words fell apart on my tongue and what came out instead was--
"I can't."
This time, it was me who walked away, struggling to force it all down, to lock it all up. All I could think of as I left wasn't Logan's crushed expression as I rejected him once more.
I thought of Archer, who cupped my tiny face in his hands, apologizing for failing the family. I remembered how he left the next day, not even saying goodbye. I remembered promising myself, promising my brothers, that I would make sure to keep everyone safe. To protect them all.
And I intended to keep my promise. No matter what I had to give up.