A/N:
I forgot to tell you guys that Lauren was G!P in this story (sorry). I've realized just now that I didn't include it in the description of the story and at the past chapters that I've wrote (I forgot sorry 😂✌🏽 I've been writing and editing two books at the same time so..) Also, I find it so fun writing Camila's character as a broken hearted person bc I get to reminisce what I felt back then when I get to experienced my first heartbreak. Anyway, enjoy 🤓❤️
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Lauren's Pov
"Is this really your decision? Are you really going to leave New York?" Billie asked for the nth time now, causing Hailee to chuckle.
"Yes," Hailee's hazel orbs shift on me, "for good." The look Hailee's giving me was too meaningful in which I immediately understand.
"We will miss you, Lee. I'm so happy that you guys are happy now." Chrissy smiled timidly before pulling Hailee for a hug. Frown and sadness are so visible at Billie and Chrissy's face while talking to Hailee. While me, I'm just standing right behind them, listening to their conversation.
"You too, Chrissy. Take care, okay? We'll facetime everyday, don't worry." Hailee smiled as Chrissy pulled away and look at Meghan, "Meg, you know what to do. Take care. We'll surely miss you guys!"
"We'll miss you guys as well. Visit us soon, yes?" Billie and Chrissy nodd their heads in response as Meghan pulled them in for a tight hug. Hailee met my gaze as we locked eyes for a moment, "Hailee!" Our staring games cut off when Camila's voice suddenly echoed around the airport.
I can hear a series of footsteps approach our direction. The next thing I know, Hailee was already hugging Camila. I saw how confusion slowly creep in Meghan's face as I remember how my conversation with Hailee went yesterday.
....
"Lauren, can we talk? I need to tell you something important." Hailee asked, completely ignoring everyone's question. My eyebrows furrowed after I saw how Lee hugged Camila.
No feelings, huh?
Instead of saying anything, I turn my back on her as Hailee followed me to the corner lot of Princeton where there's no people passing by. It's just us and the trees around. Honestly, I feel like I know what this conversation is all about. I'm not dumb. I saw the way she held Camila awhile back and I also know that there's something going on with Hailee. Ever since we got back here in the city and Meghan became her girlfriend, Hailee was acting way more weird than before. Plus, her disconnecting herself from everyone else for three days straight is not something Hailee would do unless something's bothering her. Hailee always said it that Meghan is her everything. Now that she had Meghan, what else would bother her and distract her? Camila, ofcourse.
"I'm all ears." I spoke while looking straight in her eyes. Whether Hailee is my rivalry in Camila's heart or not, nothing will ever change. She's still my bestfriend and I won't let my friendship get destroy just because we happened to like the same girl at the same time.
"I'm leaving New York tomorrow morning."
"What?! Where are you going?" I asked with a furrowed eyebrows.
"Meghan asked me to live with her in Paris. I said yes."
I shook my head in disbelief after I heard her decision, "You're hesitating, I know."
"I do."
"Then why are you leaving if you're hesitating in the first place?"
"Because I don't want to hurt you and Meghan."
I furrowed my eyebrows even more, "What are you talking about?"
"I...I've come to realize that I'm no longer inlove with Meghan like I used to before. I love her but as a friend."
I clenched my jaw as I gather all of my strength to ask her the question I want to ask and yet, I'm so afraid to know the answer, "And Camila?"
Hailee look at me for a moment before she broke the silence that surround us, "I love her, Lauren. I fell inlove with her without knowing it. I thought it's just Meghan. I really did thought I only love Meghan. But I'm wrong. It's Camila all along."
Her words suffocate my heart that I can't breathe properly. Even though my heart is breaking inside and I'm sad, I'm willing to bear it if it means I'll get to see Camila's smile once again. For her happiness, I'm willing to bleed.
I guess this is it, I lost.
I took a deep breath before I flash a smile, "What are you waiting for you, Lee? Go and get her! I promise, I won't bother her ever again, I swear. Just fucking promise me to never ever make her cry again or I swear to god, I will kick your ass, Steinfeld!"
"No!" Hailee firmly spoke, cupping both of my shoulders while looking straight in my eyes. I've never seen her be so serious like this, "YOU promise me that you will never ever hurt her or make her cry or I swear to god, I will kick your ass, Jauregui!"
"Hailee."
"Listen, I can also make sacrifices. I love Camila but I already hurt her way too much. If there's someone who's more deserving to have her, between the two of us, it was you, Lauren. I was a dick and I also don't want to hurt Meghan that's why I decided to go with her. I want to love her again, Lauren. I badly want to learn to love her again cause I can't bare to be with Camila while seeing the two important persons in my life being in pain just because of it. I'm not that selfish, Lauren."
Hailee smiled timidly before she started to walk away. But before Lee can even vanish from my eyesight completely, she stop from walking and look over her shoulder before she speak again, "I don't usually take back the things I've already given away. But if you hurt her, I'll never think twice of taking her back." And by that, Hailee continued to walk away.
....
Camila is crying uncontrollably against Hailee's chest. It hurts to see her like this but as much as I want to do something to make her feel better, I know I'm not the one she needs. Right now, Hailee was her medicine, not me. And even though it annoy me a bit for seeing them being lovey dovey, I have no choice but to bare it.
"Thank you for everything, Camila. Thank you for teaching me how to be strong, for all the happiness you caused me. Just..simply for everything. I was so happy that I get a chance to meet someone like you. Take care of yourself, hmm?" Hailee flash a tight lipped smile before she plant a soft kiss on Camila's forehead, causing the brown eyed girl to cry even more, "Till we meet again, Camila." I can see the tears forming in Hailee's eyes as well as she turn around to face me, lifting her hand up with a smile.
"I promise." I smiled, holding Hailee's hand as a sign of our sisterhood before I pulled her in for a very tight hug, "I will miss you, Lee."
"I'll count on that. I will miss your cranky ass too, Lauren."
"Group hug!" And for the last time, Billie, Chrissy, Hailee, and I hug each other very tightly for this is the last time A4 will ever be complete.
After the hug, Hailee and Meghan walk inside the airport hand in hand while holding their passport and their luggage.
"No more A4." - Chrissy
"Hey, there's still an A3." I smiled to cheer them up as I wrapped my arms around their shoulders.
"Lauren's right. Besides, let's not be sad. Lee's not dead. In fact, our girl is living the life she's been dreaming for a very long time now!" - Billie
"Right! So, let's just be happy for Lee and Meghan, alright?"
Chrissy and Billie both nodd their heads as smile finally appeared on their face. I wonder when will Camila do the same thing?
Speaking of her, I turn around to face their direction but they're already walking away. Camila was hugging Dinah with her head rest against the Polynesian girl's shoulder while Shawn was talking. I wonder what he's saying to Camila but I'm sure he's trying to comfort Camila.
"Let's have a drink at my place, are you guys in?" Billie offered in which Chrissy and I quickly agreed.
The three of us started to walk away as well as we headed straight to the parking lot. I toss my car keys to Chrissy since I'm not in the mood to drive. Ever since I had that conversation with Lee, I feel a little bit guilty for both Hailee and Camila. Lee sacrificed her love for Camila by going far away to avoid hurting me and Meghan and that means Camila also have to suffer. I want to be happy but...I can't make myself feel it.
Chrissy unlock my car as Billie take the passenger seat. As I'm about to enter and take a seat at the back, I saw Camila hugging Dinah. Though I can only see the brunette's back, I know she's still crying. And Dinah and Shawn's gesture proved that my hunch is right.
"Lauren, let's go!" Chrissy called out so I look at them for a couple more minutes before I go inside of the car and settle at the backseat comfortably, not letting myself get drown at my never ending thoughts that's currently messing with my head right now.
-
As soon as we arrived at Billie's condo, I immediately slack off to her coach with my feet comfortably resting at the table.
"I honestly feel pity for Camila. Have you seen how hurt she was at the airport?" Billie asked while handing over the can of beer to us.
"Why is she even crying like that? I mean, I get it that she's inlove with Lee but they never really dated." Chrissy scoff, "They didn't even get in a relationship so I don't get it why." -Chrissy
"Me too. Or maybe it's because we never really get to experience that shit Camila's enduring since we both don't like commitments." -Billie
I take a sip of my beer while listening to their conversation about Hailee and Camila when I suddenly notice that their eyes landed on me, "What?" I asked innocently even though I knew exactly the reason why they look at me like that. Before Hailee and Meghan became a thing, I'm the first one in A4 to settle in a serious relationship and the first one to experienced heartbreak as well.
I cleared my throat as I avoid their gaze before I speak, "I don't know, okay? She's really acting very weird considering that they never really dated."
"Now that Lee's out of the picture what are you going to do now?" Chrissy curiously asked while eating some chips.
I shrugged my shoulders as my response, "No idea."
"I'm not good at this, you know? The break up thing and the move on part. But if I were you, I will help Camila move on by giving her a new love." -Billie
"Like...ask her to be my girlfriend?"
"Exactly! So Camila can stop overthinking and feeling blue about Hailee." And because of Billie's genius idea, a brilliant plan suddenly crossed my mind.
That's right! If I want Camila to be happy then I should do something to help her move on. And so, the three of us started to drink a lot of beers until we didn't notice it's already midnight. Due to too much alcohol running through my veins, I decided to have a sleep over at Billie's condo. These two already passed out in the living room while I passed out in the kitchen since I'm trying to get some water but it's too late since my vision completely went black.
The next morning, Roger came to pick me up and drive me home so I can change my clothes. I told him about my plan and Roger was quick to agreed and support me. In fact, he was happy because after a long months of grieving caused by Victoria's cheating, I'll finally settle once again in a serious relationship. He also told me that the reason why he's so happy about my plan is because I'm getting matured. Like, am I immature before??
As soon as we arrived at the house, I hurriedly run upstairs to my room and took a very long bath, making sure I smell good, look good and yummy cause today is a very special day. I also told the maids to prepare my most beautiful dress. While I'm fixing myself, Roger was busy arranging everything: The huge banner, the balloons, the bouquet of beautiful red roses, teddy bears, everything. As you can see, I'm not good in inserting too much effort and I don't know how to court the girl that I like so I let Roger handle that thing for me.
After a couple of hours, I'm finally done. I marched outside my room and go downstairs. Every maids I had in my house are giving me huge smile so probably they already know the news since Roger was pretty talkative.
"Young master, everything is all settled! Let's go?" Roger smiled widely while looking at me. I can also sense the excitement on his voice which makes me happy.
It's already past 7:00 am when we arrived at Princeton and Camila is not here yet which gives me more time to prepare for my speech. While I'm trying to form some words in my head, Roger suddenly raised his hand in the mid air, motioning me that Camila is here.
I can feel my heart pounding inside my chest as I stand in the middle of the huge banner that says: Karla Camila Cabello Estrabao, will you be my girlfriend? Yes or yes?
Every students passing by at the lobby stopped and pulled out their phones, waiting to capture that very magical moment. As soon as Camila step inside the entrance gate, the choir suddenly sing We Could Happen by AJ Rafael. I can see the surprise look on Camila's face while looking at the choir singing in front of her then to the banner behind me while Dinah, Shawn, and Ally are giggling behind the brown eyed girl.
I walk towards Camila's direction with a small smile plastered on my lips, "I can't be your knight and shining armour but I can be your slave. I can't offer you a big white castle...but I can give you myself."
Camila look at me without any expression at all before she started to walk away without saying anything to me. She didn't take the flowers I'm giving her, I mean, no nothing. The whispers and murmurs surrounded the entire lobby probably surprise at what just happened. No girl rejected me before, only her. And even though it hurts and embarrassing to be rejected in front of everybody, I couldn't care less. I'm relentless. So the next morning, I go to Princeton earlier and waited for Camila to arrive. As soon as Roger raised his hand in the mid air once again, I quickly grab the megaphone and started to speak while wearing a huge placard around my body that says: Be my girlfriend Camila, please! I'm serious. I really really like you. Give me a chance, please.
As soon as Camila step inside the entrance gate once again, I started to talk using the megaphone so everyone can hear it and for Camila to realize that I'm dead serious, "Karla Camila Cabello Estrabao, you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I like you and I'm dead serious about it. I like you because your-" Camila cut me off by holding my hand, motioning me to put down my Megaphone.
"Stop, please. I'm not in the mood for this." Then Camila started to walk away yet again so I grab her arm to stop her from doing so.
"Give me a chance."
Camila took a loud sighed, "You want your chance?"
I nodded eagerly with a huge smile written on my lips.
"Be a cockroach first then maybe I'll give you a chance." Then Camila pulled her arm away from me and started to walk away.
Be a cockroach? No problem!
The next morning, I excitedly march inside Princeton wearing this cockroach costume that Roger bought yesterday. It was so hot wearing this. Beads of sweat are kept dripping down my neck but for Camila, I'm willing to sacrifice. Like the usual, Roger was standing at the gate and wait for Camila to arrive.
"Where's the Halloween party, kid?" I turn around, only to see my two annoying bestfriends who's looking at me with a teasingly smile plastered on their lips.
"Shut up!"
"I'm so surprise you're still going to school after you got rejected two times in a row in front of everybody. Talking about the power of love!" Billie casually spoke while licking her blue lollipop.
"Me too." Honestly, my fucking ego is now being over stepped after being rejected two times in a row. I don't know how come I can still stand here and face everybody after everything that happened.
"And why are you dress up like this?" -Chrissy
"Because Camila told me that if I became a cockroach then maybe she'll give me a chance." I answered, causing these two morons to laugh.
I furrowed my eyebrows while glaring sharply at them, "What's funny?!"
"You're such an idiot! It means Camila won't give you a chance ever since it's impossible for you to be an actual cockroach! Oh my god!" Chrissy explained as they continue to laugh but I didn't mind them even though my brain started to realize that they have a point and maybe I misinterpret what she meant yesterday. I'm about to answer them back when I saw Roger lift his hand in the mid air.
"I gotta go!" Then I started to run towards the entrance gate and wait for Camila. As soon as the brunette step inside, I quickly hand over the bouquet of flowers to her, "So...do I have a chance now?"
Camila look at the flowers then to me before the brown eyed girl shook her head in disbelief and started to walk away without saying anything to me. Again.
I grip tightly on the flower before I speak that made Camila stop from walking, "When will you give me a chance, huh?! Can't see you that I'm trying?!"
"The seventh of never to the 15th of ain't-gonna-happen. How does that work for you?" Camila adjust the strap of her bag against her shoulder before she turn her back on me for the second time.
I clenched my jaw before I throw the flower straight on the floor, "Can you give me one good reason why don't like me?"
Then Camila look over her shoulder and speak, "Because you're not Hailee."
Then I watch the brunette walk away from me while I can perfectly hear my heart breaking inside. Sometimes, the other way to know how important someone is to you is not just the butterflies in your stomach, the goosebumps, the heart that beats erratically they make you feel. Sometimes, it's the pain.
And so, I took off this stupid costume since it's not fucking working. I need to seek some advice from the expert. I patiently waited outside Camila's classroom. As soon as the bell rings around the hallway, I quickly drag Dinah away from Camila and her friends as we head straight to the nearest restaurant around Princeton. I ordered all of her favorite foods which makes the Polynesian girl happy. I sat on the table in front of Dinah, wearing my tight lipped smile while looking at her.
"Alright, Jauregui. What is it that you want?"
"I need some advice. I really want to court Camila but...I don't know how."
Dinah chuckled while chewing her food, "You're relentless, huh? After being rejected three times in a row you still want my bestfriend."
"Because I'm serious about her. I really like her, Dinah. But I'm starting to lose my patience."
"You idiot! Camila is suffering from heartbreak caused by your bestfriend. Technically, she's still inlove with Hailee then here you are, asking her to be your girlfriend out of the blue. What do you really expect for her react? Be happy? Say yes to you? If you badly want Camila's love then you have to work for it. Earn it! Prove to my bestfriend why you deserve to have her."
"I'm trying, Dinah! Can't you see all those efforts that I did? I looked stupid in front of everybody just for her!"
"So? Accept it. You like my bestfriend, right? So starting from today on, you better learn how to put aside your ego and that cranky temper of yours. Be more open and vocal about your true feelings. You can't expect Camila to understand and take a guess on what you truly feel by throwing her those bad tempers and your yelling. Insert more effort, Jauregui! Be patience! That's the key."
I took a sighed, "How?"
"First and for most, start from the very beginning. Right now, Camila doesn't need another lover. I'm sure you don't want to be a rebound, right? So be her friend. Show her that you're always there, that she can trust you and that she can count on you anytime. Once you did that then we'll talk again."
Friend? I don't like to be her friend! I want to be her girlfriend-whatever! As if I have any other choice left but to settle in a fucking friend zone for the meantime, right? I think it's much more better to be her friend than nothing at all. Worst, to be her rebound!
And so, I took my notebook out from my bag and jot down every words Dinah told me while she's busy eating. I can't actually believe I'm doing this just for a girl.
-
Camila's Pov
Two weeks.
It's been two weeks since Hailee left New York and It's been four weeks since she rejected me at Isla Paulino. Until now, my heart aches terribly. Honestly, I don't know what should I suppose to feel. Until now, I'm still crying my heart out and I know I'm not okay at all and I also know that It's a very long journey for me before I can finally say that I'm okay and I finally moved on from her. We never dated and became a thing and that's the funny part of this story. But the fact that I love her way too much in those short period of time that we're together without even thinking: What if one day Hailee just left and reject me? I mean, isn't it always like that everytime you fall inlove with someone? You started to have this certain vision that you want to be with that someone in the near future.
I never believed people when they say how much it hurts to have your heart broken until it was me, lying on the bedroom floor with tears running down my face, gasping for air, crying. Lately, I've been seeing life in a very complete opposite perspective. It wasn't fair. I've been trying so hard to get over her but the feelings are like waves crashing down onto me. It's not fair how once, Hailee and I talked about the future and then in just a blink of an eye, we barely talk at all. How can I just forget everything? How can I forget that there was once you and me? It sucks, doesn't it? Liking someone you can't have. Seeing them everyday but knowing that they'll never be yours. It's the worst feeling, I'll tell you this. Cause all you can do is dream about and wish them, but never have them.
Hailee was my first real love for I get to feel so many feelings I never knew exist. Being with her was literally the most different. She taught me that love can be the most amazing and beautiful thing. But she also taught me that love will keep you up till midnight crying softly to yourself, wondering how much more pain can someone endure-Hailee is my first heartbreak as well.
And there are two things I never want to experience ever again: Broken heart and deep love.
These past couple of weeks, I disconnect myself away from people, including my friends and my family. I didn't talk to anyone and I've also been experiencing countless of sleepless nights. I also didn't eat that much, causing me to lose a few weight. I barely can even focus on my studies up until now. That's how horrible and mess up I am.
Then there's Lauren Jauregui who kept bugging me to be her girlfriend. I get it, okay? She's trying to make me feel better and because of that I thank her so much. But...there's nothing or anyone can fulfill the emptiness I had in my heart. It's just that right now, Lauren doesn't help in my current situation. She's really not helping at all.
Right now, I'm forcing myself to feel better and get my head to focus on what's more important-my studies. But just like the usual, I always failed to do so as my mind always kept flying somewhere.
"Cabello!" Professor Sanchez, my Professor in History of Architecture yelled while looking at me with a furrowed eyebrows, "For the 8th consecutive times, you didn't pass anything to me! Stand up!"
I stand up from seat with no energy at all as everyone's eyes landed on me, "Where's your work?!" I look down and didn't answer my Professor, "Honestly, I'm so disappointed in you, Cabello! At the beginning, I thought you were responsible student. A smart one! But I guess I'm wrong. Tell me, how can you be an Architect in the future if right now, you're being this too irresponsible?! You're way too distracted! I caught you countless of times sleeping in my class but you didn't hear anything from me. If you continue being like this, you will never ever be an Architect, Mark my words! Right now, I'm really, really disappointed in you! You're going to fail this subject, Camila! I'm already telling you this so you won't be surprise when-" Professor Sanchez stop from talking when a raspy voice suddenly echoed around the room.
I quickly lift up my gaze and it was Lauren holding a few papers in her hand, "Camila! You forgot your homework in my car!" I furrowed my eyebrows while looking at the green eyed girl.
How can I forgot my homework in her car when I really forgot to do it in the first place??
"Mr. Sanchez, this is all Camila's missing homework. It's my fault why she always forgot to pass this to you so I'm really sorry. I hope it's not too late." Then the green eyed girl hand over the papers to my Professor.
"Is it true, Camila?" He asked while looking straight in my eyes. I look at Lauren for a couple of seconds before I look back to my Professor and nodd my head slightly.
"Alright. But next time, late submission won't be accepted." Professor Sanchez accepted the paper as the green eyed girl flash a timid smile on me before she exit the room.
Lauren...do all of my homework and apologize to my professor for literally not doing anything wrong?
I quickly raise my hand and excuse myself for a bit before I run after Lauren outside the room, "Lauren!"
The green eyed girl stop from walking as I run towards her direction and stop when we're close enough, "Why?"
Lauren shrugged her shoulders as her response.
"What do you mean you don't know? I know you don't like to apologize to anyone so why did you say sorry to him?"
Lauren look at me for a moment before she took a loud sighed, "If you really want to know why then meet me at the lobby after your last period. I'll wait for you."
I watch the green eyed girl vanish from my eyesight before I walk back to my classroom and settle in my seat between Dinah and Ally.
"Lauren's so sweet." I heard Ally spoke while she's busy having a chitchat with Shawn and Dinah.
"Ofcourse! I'm here mentor so what can you really expect?" -Dinah
"Honestly, I didn't know a bastard like her can be like this. I'm really surprise." -Shawn
Then I heard the two girls behind my back talking about me and Lauren. Though they're whispering, I somehow manage to hear it.
"I feel bad for Lauren. Imagine the pain she's going through after being rejected three times in a row." -Girl#1
"I know right! She never did that to anyone else. Not even with Victoria." -Girl#2
"Camila's a damn lucky girl to have someone like Lauren, seriously." -Girl #1
"But sadly, Camila doesn't like her and always rejected her. It really pains me to see Lauren in pain as well." -Girl#2
Now I feel guilty for everything that I've done to Lauren. But what else can I do? Accept her? I don't want to use her as my rebound just to tell to everyone that I'm okay. Maybe what I did really hurts Lauren but I know it will hurt her even more if I say yes even though the feelings between us is not mutual. It's good to be true than to lie to everyone else, to her, and to myself.
One hour
Two hours
Three hours
Until 6 hours passed by and my last class for today finally comes to an end. I grab my stuff and told the girls that I won't come home with them since I'm going to meet Lauren at the lobby. I walk down the hallway with my mind flying off somewhere. I have no energy at all and how I wish there was a button where you can reset all your memory in an instant cause I will never think twice of pushing that button. Having a broken heart is like being tortured every mere seconds that you're breathing. There are plenty of ways to die but only love can kill and keep you alive at the same time. That's how hell it was.
It's starting the get dark and the students around Princeton are quite few unlike this morning and afternoon. When I arrived at the lobby, I can't see anyone around here. But when my eyes turn around at the lounge part of the lobby, I saw Lauren sitting there with her eyes close. She's wearing her football jersey with her hair tied up.
I walk over to her direction and gently tap her shoulder to make my presence known, "Lauren."
A few seconds passed, the green eyed girl open her eyes. Her eyes are still sleepy and red. Not to mention that she also looks very tired today. But as soon as our eyes met, Lauren quickly flash a smile and stand up from her seat, "You came." Lauren breathed out in surprise. And even though she's tired, I can still see the happiness in her eyes.
"Ofcourse."
"Did I sleep that long?"
I shook my head no, "You should go home and take some rest. You look tired."
"I'm fine. Besides, I'd like to take you somewhere." Before I could even react, Lauren already got my bag and was now on her shoulder as the green eyed girl started to walk towards the gate so I have no choice but to follow her and get inside of her car.
I have no idea where are we going but I decided not to ask anyway. I rest my head against the window with my eyes nailed at the view outside. As much as I'm trying to drift my mind away from thinking about Hailee, I can't myself not to wonder about her.
Is she okay?
Does she miss me like I miss her?
Is there a time where I somehow cross her mind?
And despite of that questions in my head, there's a part of me that keep living in a dream where one day she will go back to New York and we can be together. That one day, all this pain I'm currently feeling will all makes sense and that it's worth it cause at the end of this long road I'm currently walking, it's still me and her.
After a couple of hours of driving, Lauren pulled her car at the side as I unbuckle my seat belt and exit her car.
It was a small restaurant bar that was placed at the side of the cliff where you can see the whole view of the city. I followed Lauren inside as we occupy the table for two at the left corner beside the open window where you can feel the cold fresh air. I can't lie, the ambiance of this place is very relaxing.
"Good evening, Ms. Lauren. It's been awhile since you've been here." The guy who handed us the menu smiled at Lauren.
"Yeah. But right now, it's not me who need it. It's my friend over here." The green eyed girl look at me with a smile so I smile a little as well before I focus my attention on the menu I'm holding.
"Is that so? Don't worry. We got your friend!"
"Hey, order anything that you like. It's my treat."
I nodd my head as my response before I told the guy what my order was. As soon as he left the table, my attention nailed at the woman who's currently speaking the stage of the bar. The way she spoke about self love and loving someone way too much really captivates me. It's like she's saying it directly to me and to my soul, "You know what your weakness is? You have so much love in you-too much. You give and you give and you give till you have nothing left. Till your blood runs dry and your bones lie naked, yet you would gladly give your bones away. You have nothing but love brimming in you, but that love was never for yourself. We, women, should bear this in mind to never ever apologize for choosing yourselves this time. You see, that's the beautiful thing about self love-you wear it like a dress and it becomes more and more exquisite with time. Self love should always be the chapter you wanted to write. Not loving someone way too much and then ask yourself why? What's wrong with me? Why am I never enough?"
Then her eyes nailed on my direction and if I'm not mistaken, she's looking at me with a smile, "Young lady, why don't you come up here?"
"Me?" I asked a little bit surprise and the lady nodd her head, "Yes, you are."
I look at Lauren and she's giving me a small smile so I stand up from seat and walk over to the stage.
"What do you want us to call you, pretty girl?" The lady asked who's age is around 40 years old. Her eyes and her voice gives me some strength and hope for some weird reason. I don't know why but that's what I felt in an instant when my eyes nailed on her, "Hope. Just call me, Hope."
"Hope. What a very beautiful word. You see, I don't know anything about you. But...as soon as my eyes laid on the crowd, you immediately got my attention. You know why? It's because your eyes. Those brown eyes that looks dead compared to everyone else around here. So dear, I know you're not feeling well. I know you had a huge problem your currently dealing with alone. So, I want you to do this not just for yourself but for your parents, your friends, for all the people who loves you so dearly. I will give you this mic and you will tell everything, I mean EVERYTHING that you feel in you heart. Once you're done and you let it all out of your chest, once you go back to that city, I want you to start fresh and start working to be a strong and better woman. Hope, you can move on. YOU CAN! Just keep telling yourself you can and you can fucking do it, okay?" I nodd my head in respond as the lady hand over the mic to me.
I don't have any single idea who she is but her words are like a cold water that was thrown straight to my face that somehow wakes my senses up.
I cleared my throat before I speak, "I know I'm not special. I know I'm not important. I know you will never like me the way I like you. I know I got my hopes up for no reason. I know you will never date me. I know I've been hardcore friend zoned. I know you don't think about me before you fall asleep. I know nothing about me catches your attention. I know I don't even compare to her in your eyes. I know you will always think she's so much better than me. I know that you'll never like me. But I can't get over you, your smile, your eyes. I can't get over your messy hair and your questionable choice in fashion. I love your caring personality and the way you actually listen to my problems and give me advice. I love that I can come to you about anything and you can come to me with anything. I can't get over how fast my heart beats when I see you look at me. But you only look at her now. We're still amazing friends, but I wanted more than that. I wanted to be your one and only. The only person on your mind like you're the only person on mine. I wanted YOU! All of you, the secrets, the hugs, the forehead kisses. But when you friend zoned me, you ripped out my heart, stomped on it and left me hurting, wondering why I wasn't enough and why I was always the second choice, the back up that nobody looked twice at. Hopefully this feelings will just go away because knowing you will never be mine is slowly killing me."
After I let it out all everything that I wanted to say, the crowd clap their hands and started to chat, You can do it, Hope! You will feel better soon! We believe in you! And they never know how much those words means so much to me. And that somehow gives me a hope that yes, maybe right now I'm drowning in misery but there will always be a hand waiting for me to take it. A hand who will guide me in every step of the way until I find myself again.
"Can I...sing a song? This time I dedicate it to myself." They all nodded as I took the guitar that was placed beside the drums and started to strum it and sing.
"Scrolling through my cellphone for the 20th time today
Reading that text you sent me again
Though I memorized it anyway
It was an afternoon in December
When it reminded you of the day
When we bumped into each other
But you didn't say hi 'cause I looked away
And maybe that was the biggest mistake of my life
And maybe I haven't moved on since that night
'Cause it's 12:51 and I thought my feelings were gone
But I'm lying on my bed thinking of you again
And the moon shines so bright but I gotta dry these tears tonight
Cause you're moving on and I'm not that strong to hold on any longer
As the sky outside gets brighter
And my eyes begin to tire
I'm slowly drowning in memories of her
And I know it shouldn't matter
As my heart begins to shatter
I'm left to wonder
Just how it should have been, yeah
12:51 and I thought my feelings were gone
But I'm lying on my bed
I'm not thinking of you again
And the moon shines so bright but I gotta dry these tears tonight
Cause you're moving on and I'm not that strong to hold on
Cause I'll prove you wrong that I can move on through this song
So much stronger
Oh oh oh oh..." I open my eyes the first thing I saw was Lauren who's looking at me with a smile written on her lips, "Thank you." I chuckled a little before I walk back to our table.
"How are you feeling?"
"Much better than awhile ago. Thanks for bringing me here."
"You're welcome, Camila. Let's eat now, shall we?"
I nodd my head with a small smile written on my lips as we started to eat our dinner together while listening to some live bands performing at the stage.
-
Lauren's Pov
After we eat our dinner, Camila excused herself for a minute to talk with Brenda. I guess she really helped Camila feel better awhile ago. I mean, somehow her face lights up a little after she let it all out in the stage awhile ago. Honestly, I'm super proud of her that she's trying to feel better. She's trying to help herself cope up from this.
"Thank you again, Mrs. Blanchet." Camila spoke with a smile as she stand next to me.
"Anytime, Hope. Ben10," Brenda's eyes shift on me, "Take care of Hope for me, okay?"
I saw how Camila's eyebrows furrowed at the sound of my nickname in this place. Since Brenda's La douzette Restaurant bar is basically a hang out place of a broken hearted persons and confessional booth as well, Brenda came up with an idea that instead of saying your real name, you should suppose to think of a nickname you think suited for you to avoid others getting your personal information so does to everyone who comes here. In my case, it was pretty impossible since my family was well-know all around the globe for having a superior company. Even so, I still gave Brenda my nickname, Ben10 (It was my favorite cartoon to watch when I was a little until now)
"You don't have to remind me that, Brenda." I smiled before I cling my arm around Camila's, "We have to go. Thank you for the help once again. You're such a blessing to us!"
"You two are always welcome!" Brenda smiled, squeezing our shoulders gently with a smile plastered on her lips, "Drive safe" Brenda waved her hand goodbye as Camila and I walk outside.
"Why Ben10?" Camila suddenly asked with a small chuckle.
"Why hope?" I answer her with a question as well.
Camila look at me for a moment before her brown orbs shift on the cliff right beside the La douzette, "Come here!" The brown eyed girl run towards the cliff so I quickly followed her.
The night view of the city up here is more beautiful than it is when the sun is up, "Hope because it sees light in spite of being surrounded by darkness. And once you choose hope, anything's possible. Brenda helps me realized that and gave me the strength I needed the most. I don't know how she did that but..." Camila chuckled, "It helps me somehow." I heard Camila took a very deep breath before the brown eyed girl shouted from the bottom of her lungs, "I'M CAMILA CABELLO!!! TIME WILL COME THAT I WILL BE AN ARCHITECT. PROFESSOR SANCHEZ, I WILL PROVE YOU WRONG! I CAN FULFILL MY DREAM JUST WAIT AND SEE!" Camila paused for a moment to catch her breath. Once she did, Camila shouted once again, "I CAN MOVE ON! I CAN FUCKING MOVE ON. I CAN DO IT! I CAN..." I look at Camila and there's a tears running down to her face again, "I...I can move on. I definitely can." I can feel the pain in her voice so I pulled her in for a hug and cry as well, "You can, Camila. You can. I believe in you, okay?"
The brunette pulled away and look at me with a furrowed eyebrows, "Why are you crying?"
"Because I don't want you to feel that you're weak and feel that you look stupid in front of me so I cried as well so you won't feel any of those."
Camila chuckled, "Silly. But thanks, I really really appreciate it. Thank you for being here with me."
I wipe away my tears using my arms before I speak with my eyes nailed in front, "I know exactly what you feel. Victoria's my first heartbreak as well. And it sucks. It really sucks. It's like everyday, I've been living in hell. It hurts so much and this place and Brenda helps me to move on and help me realized that there are more important things in life than Victoria."
"So, she's your first love as well?"
I look at Camila and shook my head, "No, she wasn't." It was you, Stick.