My phone's alarm went off bright and early on Monday morning, jolting me awake. I sighed. I didn't care what anybody said, no matter how many times I had to wake up at 6:45 in the morning to go to school, I'd never get used to it. Dragging myself out of my warm bed, I threw on a pair of jeans and a random shirt, then stumbled slightly out to the kitchen, finding Anna already awake with a cup of coffee in hand, far more alert than I was.
I started making my own cup and glared at her. "How can you be so peppy this early in the morning?"
She shrugged. "Maybe because I'm used to it."
It was like she knew what I had been thinking earlier. "That's not a real thing," I said, rolling my eyes.
"So you say."
I gave her a weird look and sipped on my caffeine fix. "What time do you have to be at work today?"
Anna was a vet tech at the local animal hospital, and like most doctors, her hours could vary day by day. She was usually up by 7, but only because that's when the hospital opened. And when she wasn't working, she would be her taking online classes. She was studying to get her doctorate so she could be an official vet. We were practically polar opposites in that respect. She was hard working and dedicated, and I was a train wreck of a student whose biggest talent was playing softball, which wouldn't get me anywhere without decent grades. That was another reason I was trying to turn everything around. But I still wasn't even sure if I was cut out for college in the first place.
"Who knows?" she sighed, looking down at her near empty cup of coffee. I took the hint, taking it from her and putting more on. She smiled gratefully at me.
"Maybe you're not as awake as I thought," I teased.
She stifled a yawn. "Maybe."
I checked the time. It was now seven, so I finished the rest of my coffee and put the mug in the sink. I brushed my teeth quickly and picked up my backpack from my bedroom before throwing on my vans, grabbing my keys, and pulling the door open.
"Bye Anna," I called, then walked down to the street where my truck was parked. I pulled open the familiar door and hopped into the leather seat behind the wheel. I smiled. She was the same as always. Even the steering wheel felt familiar underneath my hands. I turned the key in the ignition, hearing the purr of the engine as it started up.
God I loved this truck.
I pulled into the street and towards school. I wished I could have rolled the windows down and felt the wind, but I knew that the air would be cold and I'd regret it. But I did turn on the radio, hearing Lyin' Eyes by the Eagles. I cranked the volume all the way up, drumming on the steering wheel, another habit I'd picked up from my dad. As much as I hated to admit it, we were more alike than we were different, except for a couple key things.
Acceptance, for one.
I pulled into the school's parking lot for the first time this year, finding an empty spot right by the entrance. That was lucky; it would make it way easier to get out after school. Since it was now December, open fields turned into lifting and open gyms, which didn't start until 4:30. This also meant that I didn't have to lug my gear into school anymore. A true blessing in disguise.
I cut the engine and hopped out of the truck, locking it and settling my backpack on my shoulder. I stared up at DCHS, my good mood from the ride over deflating slightly. I couldn't wait until this semester was over; it felt like it had lasted years.
I had just begun walking towards the entrance when I had the misfortune of finding something else to ruin my morning. It was Madi, smirking and leaning against the hood of what looked to be a brand-new, bright yellow Mercedes-Benz two door convertible, which I knew ran about $150 grand, and that was starting price.
I rolled my eyes internally. Figures Madi drives a car like that.
"Is that your truck?" she asked, wrinkling her nose in disgust at my baby.
"Yeah it is," I said, crossing my arms over my chest, "got a problem?"
"If you're gonna drive that rust bucket to school, at least park it out back so other people don't have to see it."
I raised an eyebrow at her comment. "Rust bucket? At least I don't drive around in a banana."
Her eyes narrowed. "You're real funny, but just know that I don't plan on breaking my promise to you. You will not play on our team."
"If you say so," I said, shrugging and walking past her. I was tired of constantly having to deal with Madi's shit. But I put some thought into her words this time. Did she really have anything planned, or was she just making empty threats? If she really tried something, and it worked, I don't know what I would do. Softball was practically my life. Not that I'd ever let Madi know that. I shook my head, clearing the slight knot of worry in my stomach. There was no way she could get me kicked out. They hadn't held tryouts yet, and it was against school policy to exclude people from open gyms. So there was really nothing she could do about it until after tryouts.
With that soothing thought in mind, I pushed open the doors and walked through the hallways to my locker. I saw Ryan standing at his, and suddenly I was in such a good mood I felt like being nice.
"Hey."
He looked up in surprise. "Wow, somebody's feeling extra friendly this morning."
I laughed slightly. "Don't get used to it. You know, I still can't believe you were at my house for Thanksgiving."
He smiled. "I won't. And your sister's dating my brother," he paused. "it's just weird."
I nodded. "It's hella weird. I hope that doesn't mean I have to see you more often," I said, glancing at him sideways as I opened my locker. He chuckled softly.
"Don't worry, I'll make sure you don't have to," he replied with a wink, closing his locker and walking away. I watched him go, feeling somewhat puzzled at the casual, easy conversations we could carry late. Had I managed to make another friend? I surprised myself more and more each day.
"Well you two seem to be pretty friendly."
I jumped at the voice behind me and turned around, annoyed, until I realized who was behind me.
"Ari?" I said, surprised. "How'd you find my locker?"
She shrugged. "I walk through here to get to first period, and I saw you. I was going to say hi sooner, but you seemed tied up." She eyed me with a slight smile, but there was a gleam of something else in her eyes, something I could tell she was trying hard to cover up.
"What is it with everyone? I don't like Ryan, and he sure as hell doesn't like me," I finished forcefully.
She raised an eyebrow, amused at my obvious irritation. "Sure he doesn't."
"What the fuck Ari," I said, laughing slightly in spite of myself, "you know I'm gay."
She grinned, shaking her head. I noticed that whatever she had been trying to hide in her eyes was gone now. "You right, you right."
I grabbed the books I needed and shut my locker, turning to face Ari. I remembered a question that had been on my mind since Thanksgiving. "How'd you get my number anyway?"
Smirking, she dodged my question. "I have my sources."
I just stared at her while she stood there, still with a playful smile on her face. I couldn't help but notice how adorable she was when she did that. Her beautiful green eyes lit up, and she had a single dimple on her left cheek. It was just another cute little thing about her that I wanted to remember. I wanted to memorize every inch of her face.
Focus, I told myself, shaking out of my trance.
"Tell me," I said, wrinkling my brow.
She stepped closer to me, a challenge in her eyes, which were locked on mine. "What will you do if I don't?"
My breath caught in my throat. The tension was so thick that it was a miracle that people walking around us couldn't feel it too. My eyes flickered from hers down to her lips, looking so perfectly kissable. I felt as if gravity was literally pulling me into her, and it took all of my willpower to resist. For the first time, though, it seemed like Ari was trying just as hard to stay away as I was. Did that mean she felt the same way I did? Or was I just imagining it? It was so hard to tell.
Then the first bell rang, signaling it was time to go to class. We both jumped. I backed up, turning to go, and ran right into somebody.
"Soph let's go we're gonna be late-- oh. Hey Ari."
Alyssa was standing in front of me, arms folded over her chest, no longer looking at me. Instead, she was practically glaring at Ari. I turned around to see Ari standing similarly, with a slight scowl. "Hey," she said to Alyssa, somewhat coldly. I was puzzled. I could still sense tension here, but now it was between the other two girls, and I didn't like the way this kind felt nearly as much.
"You're right Alyssa, we should go," I said, attempting to break up the awkwardness. "Bye Ari," I called over my shoulder as I walked away. She waved at me, then turned and walked the other way, presumably towards her class.
We turned the corner from the hallway. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Alyssa asked me.
"What d'you mean?"
She rolled her eyes at me. "What do you think? You should be avoiding her! Not practically making out with her in the hallways!"
"We weren't making out, we were having a conversation," I said, frustrated. "Which you interrupted! Besides, it's not your decision who I should be friends with, even if you don't think they're healthy for me."
Her face was flushed, not only with exasperation but also a tinge of embarrassment, as she spoke. "I'm trying to make sure you don't get hurt still. You may not care, but other people are worried about you."
I scoffed. "You don't need to worry about me. I can take care of myself just fine."
We climbed the stairs, joining the mass of people this time. Alyssa looked at me dubiously. "You may think that, but what you insist on doing convinces me otherwise."
I sighed in exasperation. "What is it exactly about Ari that makes you freak out so much?"
"She's straight!" she hissed at me. "You shouldn't try to fuck around with a straight girl; you're just going to get your heart broken and I don't want that for you."
The way she spoke had me curious. "Speaking from experience?" I asked, attempting to keep the frustration out of my voice.
"I know what it's like to like somebody you have no chance with," she said, looking me dead in the eye, "and it's not something I'd want for anybody else. But if you insisting on continuing to try with Ari, I won't stop you. Just be careful," she said, turning and pushing through the crowd to get to class.
This time, I didn't follow her. Instead I stood in the middle of the hallway, the crowd parting around me. I got plenty of dirty looks, but I didn't care.
I had no idea Alyssa had a crush on anyone, much less who it was. I might've been overreacting, but I was slightly hurt that she hadn't told me. But while I wanted to know, I sensed that it wasn't a topic she wanted to talk about. I started walking again, still deep in thought. I knew she considered me her friend, and I felt the same, but was she afraid to open up to me? I mean, I could hardly judge her. I lived with a cage around my heart, scared to let anyone in, scared of getting hurt. Yet, I still wanted her to feel like she could talk to me. I didn't want anyone to feel alone like I did.
I turned the corner, walking into English just as the bell rang, and threw myself into the desk. I pulled out my phone, careful not to let my teacher see, and shot Alyssa a text.
Talk to me.
I closed my phone and caught her eye, gesturing to her phone for her to look. She did, and soon I felt my phone buzz.
No.
Why not?
Because.
That's not a real reason.
I was about to close my phone when I heard a throat being cleared behind me.
"Miss Miller?"
I groaned silently.
"It won't happen again," I said, slipping my phone into my pocket.
The teacher nodded. "I know it won't. Give me your phone."
I sighed, slowly pulling it back out, and placed it into her outstretched palm. She walked away, saying, "Come back at the end of the day and pick it up."
Of course I got caught with my phone in English. Couldn't have been any other class.
I slouched back in my seat angrily, then noticed Alyssa's eyes on me. She mouthed a quick Sorry before turning back towards the front of the room. I just sat there, staring off into space.
This day was already turning out to be a bust, and it was only first period.
Go me.