This chapter is brought to you by COSMOS by ONEWE.
Edited by: bafflinghaze
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Two weeks after the Spring Holiday, Royce Benedick came back to school.
Students who often lingered in the courtyard in the early mornings witnessed him entering the school building and dived into the newfound gossip with relish.
From his prolonged absence to the current state of the eldest Odum's connections, those who hadn't been able to keep up with the latest news were brought up to speed alongside those who had recently graduated from the Junior Division before the Spring Holidays.
Royce Benedick was the missing member of Nazareth Odum's group and was perceived to be quite foolish and dumb.
If Nazareth Odum was known as the Scummy Troublemaker, then Royce Benedick was recognized as the Asslicking Dog.
The moniker was crude, but also very true.
The students continued informing one another, as was expected of them.
Gossip was vital in the aristocracy, especially when it related to those of higher nobility.
It was important to recognize the changes happening.
First, it was Nazareth Odum, who cut his hair. He not only looked quite decent now, but no one had disappeared for the last two weeks and he hadn't threatened anyone with their livelihood. Interestingly enough, his relationship with his younger brother seemed to have... developed in a more positive light.
Then, it was Aurelion Odum, the victim of a thousand assassination attempts, awkwardly trying to find ways to talk to his older brother—also known as the person most suspected to be the mastermind behind those assassination attempts—during passing hour and lunch breaks.
The kid tried, and it was really painful to see, but thankfully, his (crazy) older brother seemed to be responding kindly(?) to his efforts.
Now, Royce Benedick was back on campus after a long absence without a stupid smile on his face.
He was surprisingly difficult to approach without a smile.
Those who knew him since childhood have not seen him like this since the death of his older brother many years ago.
It was strange, how the moment he stepped out of his carriage, he didn't wait at the gates for the eldest Odum like he usually did every morning.
His back was certainly straighter, some have whispered offhandedly.
It was as if he gained a sense of self-worth for the first time in his life.
The other students were thrown into a frenzy, making up all kinds of theories once the dots were all being connected.
(They connected shit.)
This couldn't be a coincidence, could it?
Was the debauched heir of the Benedick Family turning over a new leaf?
Was there conflict in Nazareth Odum's group?
Had Royce been in hiding because he had offended both Odum brothers?
WAS HE DATING GUINIVERE ODUM?!
That last question, right there, was spot on.
(Again, they connected shit.)
Both Odum brothers adored their sister to a frightening degree. Few variables could result in the brothers joining hands, but Guinivere Odum held a special place in her brothers' hearts.
So if Royce was attempting to date Guinivere...
Bye-bye, Royce. He would be no more.
The students were starting to get whiplash with all these conspiracies.
What in the world was going on? There were too many changes happening in the higher nobility. Will the Crown Prince show up next week as the Crown Princess?!
---
Neo missed Royce by just a few minutes. His mind was rather preoccupied as he entered the courtyard of the school.
Rainier and he hadn't spoken to one another after what happened. Neo had taken to dressing himself for the last few days and Rainier made no comment to stop him from doing so. It wasn't like anyone was going to see them break etiquette.
The past few days had been awkward. They were never comfortable with one another, to begin with. Their bond as servant and master was a practical one, rather than an emotional one. After the emblem situation, conversations between them turned stilted.
Neo toyed with the silver hair stick Rainier used to pin his hair up. Today, the servant styled it half-up and half-down.
This morning, he saw him wearing the bracelet he gave him during Aurelion's abduction before he left for school.
In a way, they matched.
The realization distracted him throughout the carriage ride.
Finneas and Tybalt were the first to notice the whispers around them.
"It looks like Royce finally finished his Successor Training," Tybalt remarked in a rather playful manner.
Finneas rolled his eyes. "Is that what they called it? I thought the bastard went on an extended vacation."
Neo heard the mention of Royce and stopped and looked around. Royce was nowhere to be seen.
"Naza?"
"Hm?"
Tybalt gave him a knowing look. "Are you going to see Royce? For the..." He trailed off, letting Neo fill in the blanks.
Neo pursed his lips. "He needs to know."
The three of them knew what the statement meant. Royce hadn't been around for a couple of weeks and didn't know the current situation with their group.
"Go," Tybalt insisted. "We'll cover for you."
Neo shook his head. "Our first class is with Rickman."
Tybalt paused. A few seconds later, he beamed. "We'll try our best."
"Fuck you. I'm not challenging my uncle for your shitty life choices," Finneas snapped.
Tybalt ignored him. "Go," he insisted.
Neo seemed to contemplate his choices. In the end, after weighing the importance of Rickman's potential ire and Royce, he finally chose Royce.
He separated from his friends and rushed into the school building.
There was a group of girls standing in the hall, giggling with one another. Neo was surprised they weren't also gossiping like the rest of the school.
They seemed tiny.
It took him a moment to realize they were Junior Division students.
All five stiffened as he approached them.
"Excuse me, but have any of you seen Royce Benedick?"
One girl blinked. "Bene... dick?"
"Tall, red hair..."
"Oh!" A second girl lit up. "I saw him near the stairs." She pointed at the ceiling.
Neo thanked them and left.
The girls watched him go.
"Was that..." one couldn't help but say, "Was that Guinivere's older brother?"
Another shrugged. "He's cute, but I think I prefer her second brother. I heard the older one is dangerous."
"Like, one of those delinquents?" A girl gasped, scandalized.
"I... I don't mind a little danger."
The girls went back to giggling.
---
Neo's steps echoed as he quickly made his way down the hallway.
He took a turn, soon entering a dark corridor with poor lighting.
The area was deserted on this side of the school, mostly since it led to the old bell tower.
In the past, Nazareth had noticed the strange lack of people in this part of the school and used it as a meeting place with a few shady nobles. Eventually, he made it into his territory for himself and his companions.
It was very much gangster-chic—a dumb cliche his teenage-addled brain thought was cool.
Do you know what wasn't cool?
Taking lives and lighting fires.
Back then, the old bell tower was like a sanctuary to him. He was committing crimes and manipulating deaths within the safety of the tower.
Like a spider, he spun a web of lies and treachery, trapping those who he claimed were his enemies, whether they be friend or foe, greedily devouring them one by one without stopping to see that all along, a bird was waiting for him to fatten himself up so that they, too, would get a meal.
It took him way too long to realize he was also made from flesh and blood. The sanctuary of the bell tower was a ruse. He wasn't as invincible as he had thought. He was fallible and human.
The bell tower fell in the fire after a group called the Iron Lotus stormed the Academy with his help and began killing its students.
A sardonic smile stretched across Neo's face at the memory. He sighed, taking a brief moment to cover his eyes with the palm of his hand before he continued walking.
The stairway at the end of the corridor was partially hidden by a shadow. Everyone knew of its existence, but not many wanted to venture up the steps, either due to a lack of curiosity or simply believing it to be a waste of time.
Long ago, Neo had climbed these steps on days when he felt like everything was too much. He had wondered if he could fly, far from this place and back into his mummy's arms.
He had gazed down at the bottom from where he sat, next to a pillar, his feet dangling from a terrifying height. The edge of the bell tower, where a single fall could kill him, drew him close.
But something kept him from slipping, glued his feet against the ledge, and pulled him away before he could take a single leap.
There was something he still needed to do, but he didn't know what.
Neo didn't think he'd ever know, seeing as he still died in the end.
He reached the door at the top of the steps and opened it wide.
What greeted him was a familiar sight.
Extensive blue and dapples of clouds stretched across the sky.
He stepped onto the bell tower's lower platform.
A winding staircase built on the side of the building, swirling like a ribbon twine, led to the bell chamber. There was no railing, just the wall, so he needed to be careful when climbing the steps, lest he fell off the platform entirely.
Neo made his way up the twisting stairs, feeling the rough bricks of the bell tower wall as his hand placed itself carefully on the vertical surface.
He soon arrived at the very top and passed the arched entrance, finding himself under the large bell of the spire.
The bell was made from bronze and copper. Long ago, this bell tower was originally made for communal services. When the Church did not need it anymore, the relic was given to the school and redesigned. It was once used to signify the start and end of class, but after the Lesser Krieg War, the bell malfunctioned.
Noble Academy was turned into a semi-fortress during the Lesser Krieg War. The bell tower was nearly burned down when soldiers from the enemy nation broke into the school. It managed to pull through reconstruction, but the bell was deemed unreliable and rung at random times of the day.
The tower now mainly served as a historical relic, which allowed Nazareth to turn it into his domain.
Neo stood on his tiptoes, stretching his hand to reach the side of the bell, wanting to touch it again. His fingertips grazed the edge, just barely.
Hello, old friend.
"What are you doing here?"
Startled, Neo dropped his hand and turned.
He saw a figure standing across from him, near the very edge with their hand pressed against one of the four stone pillars holding the chamber ceiling in the air. There was no barrier to keep them from falling off, but they appeared at ease, their balance unhindered by the strong wind blowing through the chamber.
Striking red hair, tied back and neat, with equally striking scarlet eyes met his own in contempt.
Neo felt his fingernails dig into his palm. Perhaps he had been too confident. He was not ready to face him yet. Not after everything.
The two of them stared at each other, one gaze filled to the brim with displeasure while the other held deep remorse.
"Royce," he greeted him as calmly as he could. "You look well."
The other scoffed.
The unfriendly-looking Royce who used to be so loyal to him was nowhere to be found.
"I could say the same to you," Royce crossed his arms, his posture rigid with resentment.
"..."
Neo felt his throat close shut. Emotions stirred in his gut, churning like bile.
"Heh," Royce's mouth twisted into something bitter, "If you have nothing to do here, I suggest you leave."
"Royce—"
"Looking at you makes me sick."
The blood in Neo's veins froze.
It shouldn't surprise him, with his luck, that the gods would bring Royce back to the beginning as well.
The two of them were once both vipers, sinking their teeth into the bodies of their enemies and letting venom drip drip drip...
Despite knowing this, despite understanding how vicious they were, it didn't change how young they were.
They were children—evil, wicked children in a world where beasts and men could be the same. They were beasts and chose to be beasts because it was seemingly easier than being men.
It was easier than being good.
Neo suddenly felt tired.
He wanted to go home, back to the manor and his office-turned-laboratory. He wanted Rainier and a cup of tea made by the servant, and a spoon of dandelion syrup to go with the tea.
He wanted, oh how he wanted, to go back to the world where he hadn't chosen the path of the beast and the wicked. To the welcoming arms of his Ma and Pa and even his colleagues at the lab facility.
Royce turned away from him, finding more interest in the view overlooking the Academy than the sight before him.
Neo wouldn't blame him. He was a sore sight to those looking for salvation.
Royce died, and most likely, Royce returned.
And with him are the memories, a living nightmare for those who didn't see the little fires being lit around them until it was too late.
Willing down the rising discomfort in his chest, Neo spoke, his voice a small tremor.
"If it means anything, I am sorry."
The silence sounded louder than any bell, smothering them heavily with its presence. It was so quiet and still, not even the sound of birds could penetrate the stillness.
Neo could hardly hear his own breathing, but he could feel the anger rolling off of Royce like waves.
---
When Royce first saw vermillion eyes, wisen and old, short hair pinned by a familiar-looking silver stick, he knew.
Oh, how he knew.
The once Asslicking Dog of Noble Society turned famous jewelry designer recognized the presence of a survivor.
The other was just like him. Hands stained red and foul, no one to blame but themselves.
"Sorry?"
In a split second, his face contorted. He could feel the way his skin pulled, the way his gaze fogged, frozen over until all he could see was the man who threw them all into hell.
He hated.
For a quarter of his life in the modern world, he was filled with the bitterness of hate. The hot flashes and the spiraling sensations colliding with the memories of his death had plagued him for years and took him many therapy sessions.
Why him?
Why did he have to have memories of the past? Why couldn't he just forget?
He continued to hate for a long time, from childhood to teenagehood to early adulthood.
Here's the thing about hatred. Pure hatred, true and raw and at its finest, could only be called as such when one gives oneself entirely to that dangerous state of thinking.
Disliking a person and wishing them death was nothing compared to the resentment known as hatred. When it came down to it, the target of that hatred must live. The more one hated the other, the more desperate they would like them to live.
Humans could be so despicable and complex. It was funny to think death was the end of all hatred, but in reality, when humans were given even a taste of hate, they became irrevocably addicted to the way it flowed through their bloodstreams.
They would want to prolong the emotion even longer, so why would they end the source of their hatred?
The one they hate must live.
They must desire death without touching a drop of death. They must desire the end without reaching the end. Hanging death in front of them like a taunt while torturing them over and over without mercy was hatred. Letting them suffer a living hell and depriving them of their demise was the ultimate form of pure hatred.
And the best part about it?
It was possible to pass it along, thus continuing the cycle of hatred.
"Was that all?"
Nazareth didn't answer him, but the woefully sad look in his eyes said it all.
Royce wondered what kind of life he'd been living before this.
He stopped hating when his family intervened and gave him the help he needed to achieve success in the modern world.
But it didn't mean he wasn't pissed by his current situation.
---
"Was that all?"
Royce grew silent again.
Neo thought that it was best if he didn't say anything. He'd never been good with words, fumbling about disgracefully in the hope that his presence would help minimize the damage.
It was funny, really.
In the past, few were comfortable standing in his presence. He sometimes doubted if Tybalt and Finneas still saw him as the wicked man he used to be, and whether or not Aurelion still thought of him as the terrible and horrible man haunting their home.
He'd changed, but by how much?
Royce's eyes burned him. The way they stared him down with a cool, sharp gaze.
Neo remembered how he could light up a room with a ditzy smile, dazzling and radiant in its own naive and innocent way.
In the past, Royce was known to have a smile permanently fixed on his face as he said something stupid, foolishly latching onto him like a pet.
He didn't care if the rest of their peers called him a dog, and didn't even blink when they taunted him.
He was a loyal man, and Nazareth, in all his depravity and selfishness, signed his death warrant with his own hands.
"You fucking asshole..."
There was not a single smile on Royce's face, only a dark, grim expression hiding the woes of betrayal.
The little control Royce held seemingly loosened like a frayed string that'd been abused for far too long. Balled fists, shaking shoulders, and a tense atmosphere about to snap under the pressure of his presence rose to the front in all its raging glory.
"You fucking asshole!" he roared, "My family fell into destitution because of you! You pushed us into ruins and we ended up in the streets, and all for what?! To save yourself?!" His voice was shaking with the rage he felt.
Royce hissed, the sound more miserable than angry.
Then all at once, Neo understood.
How could he not, when he saw those scarlet eyes burning so brightly in anger?
"Do you know what happened?" The broken look fell from Royce's face and twisted with so much pain and grief.
"They found me." His teeth gritted. "I was there for weeks. Weeks! Where the fuck were you?!"
What could Neo say? What could he possibly say or do to make things better?
In truth, there was no word strong enough to comfort Royce. The horrors he suffered could not be erased, not even after a lifetime.
"..."
What's the point when he had nothing to say?
This wasn't about him.
Nothing was ever about him.
It was about everyone who suffered from his neglect.
"You weren't there. You abandoned me and left me in hell. And then... and then..."
The look in Royce's eyes turned detached in an instant. He was shaking, Neo observed.
"I was dismembered." His eyes shuddered closed, the memories overwhelming him.
Neo wanted to tell him to stop, not for himself, but because Royce didn't owe him anything.
"I said a couple of words and begged them to release my aunts. But they were killed right in front of me. And since those bastards thought I was annoying for pleading to spare them, I was forced to drink poison to render me mute. They drugged me up and locked me in a pigsty—!"
His voice cut off, replaced with an ugly sob. He began to weep.
"Royce..." Neo took a step forward.
To what? Embrace him? Comfort him?
---
Memories opened like a Pandora's Box, flooding Royce's mind with images of a past he hoped to forget.
He felt his throat hitch, but he was stubborn. He had to recount his last memories. He had never forgotten what it was like, despite his life in the modern world. It left a scar in his memories. PTSD, the therapist had said.
"Eventually, they got bored and stuffed me into a trunk. I was tossed into the ocean and the water... The water was getting higher... and I..." He choked.
In the darkness, he felt the water rise. It was so cold that his body was already numb to the pain. Death came to him like a violent storm. There was nothing gentle or warm about it.
Royce had drowned in those waves, forgotten and alone, nothing but a shell of a human. It was so painful when the water entered his lungs when the current consumed him, and all he could think was when it would be over.
"I hate you..."
In his last moments, he wanted to die. He didn't want to live anymore. He was tired by the end of it and saw the light. He got to be someone new, with a new family, in a new world. But then, it was all a lie. Because he came back to the beginning, this hell, where he would experience it all over again...
---
Neo, Nazareth, produced a keening noise from the back of his throat. The sound wasn't pleasant to hear.
He despaired and felt anguish.
He shouldn't say it.
He had no right to say this.
It was almost taunting and hypocritical and rotten in ways he couldn't even understand anymore.
But there was no one else who could say it. Royce died because of him.
Step by step, he crossed the distance between them. His footsteps were quiet, but they seemed so loud to his ears.
"I wish—" Those words were ripped out of his throat like bile, and the blurry heat of his tears made their way down his cheeks. He choked.
"I wished you had lived."
Slowly, he raised his arms and enfolded them around Royce. The other was much taller than him, almost half a head taller, but he still attempted to gather him into his arms.
They were broken, the two of them. Damaged goods, sinners, victims, and perpetrators, all in one like a tangled ball of complexities.
But, they were not beyond repair.
Royce was never supposed to be a part of any of his schemes. He might have been innocent if Neo had just stepped away and released him from his web of lies, from his schemes, and cut that loyalty at the stems.
"I didn't want you to die. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"
Royce dropped his head onto his shoulder. Even when the red-haired boy could no longer stand, Neo followed him down, not letting him go. The two of them sat on the ground for a very long time, neither saying anything as Royce muffled his sobs and hiccups and let the tears flow freely down his face.
He was the son of a Marquis and the child of the second wife.
Royce Callum Benedick of the Benedick Household, the youngest and the last of his brothers, grew up without expecting the title of Marquis. His oldest brother, the first son, the son of the main wife, passed from a fever. His second oldest brother, the last heir apparent, the son of the mistress, was accidentally killed during the annual royal hunt when he was ten. It all fell to him.
They called him the victor, earning the heirship without lifting a single finger. He, the third son, son of the second wife, grew up and became a debauched heir.
So young, he had a whole life ahead of him.
This time, they could change his future. They could be normal friends, and live out the rest of their lives with only little mistakes. They didn't have to strive for anything else but their own happiness.
The future was unclear, but Neo didn't want to let go of his chances. He could see so many paths forming for the first time, all to be explored and tested. There was so much they could change now for the better.
Royce cried into his shoulder. Neo hugged him a little tighter.
He couldn't promise that everything would be fine, but at the very least, the future wasn't set in stone.
Surely, this time would be better.
---
Step 18. Be sad with the person you indirectly (directly?) killed two lives ago; you guys are now reincarnation buddies.