I shake my head at the crazy girl in front of me. "Come on," I nod my head towards the exit. "If you're going to talk like that we need to leave."
Emily eagerly agrees as we leave the building, "You're right, we need to get to a more private location."
As I fumble to get my keys out of my pocket, I mumble, "I was thinking more along the lines of taking you to a psychiatrist, but whatever..."
Once we're in my truck, I begin to poke holes in Emily's plans. "Look, Em, you can't fake your death."
She rolls her eyes as she leans back in the passenger seat, "If I can't fake my death, then that means you're going to have to fake your death."
I throw my hands in the air, "Why does someone have to die?!"
"Because it's the only way to make sure Dr. Hayes doesn't kill us! If we fake our own deaths, he can't come after us anymore."
Suddenly, her plan is starting to make sense. "And if Jenga and Switch die-"
"Then he'll think he got what he wanted all along." Emily finishes with a proud smirk.
"But then we show up as Emily and Beck to take his final exam, ace the test, and bamboozle him! We turn him in to the Dean and the S.E.A through all those emails he sent me and The Undergrounds is done for!"
Emily raises an eyebrow, "You think you'll ace the final?"
I scowl at her, "Is now the time to be roasting me?"
She fires back, "You were about to check me into a psychiatric ward!"
I throw my hands up in surrender, "Okay, point taken! Look, the tutoring has been helping. The last quiz we took? I made a 90."
Her eyes light up, "That's great Beck!"
"So what I'm saying is, your plan could work. We just need to make our deaths really convincing. Oh - and we shouldn't tell your other sidekicks."
She nods along, "Agreed. You never know who's a snitch these days."
My jaw tightens, but before I can say anything, she touches my shoulder. "I'm kidding. I know it's because we have to convince everyone."
Still, I huff, "You're going to tease me about my mistakes forever, aren't you?"
Emily smiles, "I'd like to think that if it weren't for your mistakes, we wouldn't be together right now, planning our fake deaths."
I allow a small smile to come to my face too, inching closer to her by propping an elbow on the console. "Your idea of 'romantic' is slightly morbid, you know."
She scoffs, "Haven't you heard of 'Til death do us part?'"
I laugh, "Then lets plan this thing."
***
I didn't realize the plan was going to include me having to talk to Professor Hayes after class today, but once Emily explained that a few vague emails were not enough proof that he was blackmailing me, I realized this had to be phase 1 of the F.O.O.D plan - the Fake Our Own Deaths plan. Just know that we were starving by the time we got around to a name last night.
Emily grabs my hand before we walk into the classroom. "You remember what to say to him, right?"
I nod, "I start discussing psychological disorders and then tell him he has psychological issues if he thinks I'm going through with his deal."
Emily slaps my arm, to which I laugh at. "I beg to be let off the hook with a passing grade?"
She lets go of my hand to facepalm. "I'm starting to think I'm going to have to slap on a baseball cap and pretend to be you today."
I take off my hat with our university logo on it - a giant blue and green wave - and place it on her head, admiring how cute she looks with her dark brown hair in 2 braids. She's just wearing a long-sleeve white shirt and high-waisted jeans, but she still looks adorable. "I don't know, Em. I don't think you'd make a convincing Beckett Coleman."
She rolls her eyes and transfers my hat back on my head, which coordinates with my navy blue t-shirt and blue jeans. "Just tell me you've got it under control?"
I kiss the top of her forehead. "I know what to say, and I'll be recording so you can hear the conversation for yourself afterwards," I place my hands on her shoulders, "Don't worry, Em." I turn to open the door for her and enter the enormous classroom behind her, making our way to the back of the room like normal. Except today, it doesn't feel so spacious. I feel claustrophobic and trapped inside a tiny pod. This is our first class back from the break, since he emailed me that my assignment wasn't finished. Normally, large lecture halls are a place where you can goof off on your phone and stare absentmindedly at the white board without being called out because the professors frankly don't know any of your names. But today, I knew I was anything but camouflaged. His eyes stared me down for almost the entirety of the lecture.
By the end of the class, I felt like it was just me and Professor Hayes having a staring contest the whole time.
Emily starts to pack up her things along with the rest of the class, and I begin to feel hopelessly abandoned. She looks over at me with a small smile and mouths 'good luck' to me. When she walks out of the classroom, I realize I haven't packed up at all. If she hadn't glanced over at me, I might not have remembered to start recording. I reach into my pocket to take out my phone and press the record button on the app before I toss it back into my pocket. This better work.
Professor Hayes drops a stack of papers on his desk and lowers his reading glasses to perch on the edge of his nose. "Mr. Coleman, is there something I can help you with?"
His acknowledgement of my presence snaps me out of my stunned state and I quickly stammer out, "Uh, yes, I uh, I wanted to talk to you about-"
He waves his hand to interrupt me, "I know what you want to talk about. Are we going to have this conversation from opposite sides of the room?"
I laugh nervously, "I'll come down to your desk if you promise not to hurt me."
Professor Hayes gives me a blank stare. "You're trying to back out of the assignment again, aren't you?" His tone raises in the slightest, but if I'm going to catch anything he says in a recording, I'm going to have to take my chances and move closer to the front of the room.
"I just don't see why I have to bring in Jenga for extra credit. I don't even want the credit that bad."
His face scrunches in confusion, "But you already did it once."
I throw my hands in the air, "Exactly! I've already done what you asked of me. I can't help that someone broke her out of The Undergrounds! I'm not doing it again. Dr. Hayes, please don't make me do it again."
He starts chuckling, to my surprise. "You think you can get out of it that easily? You knew too much to get out of the deal the first time. What makes you think this time is any different?"
I'm finding it hard to find the right words to say. Why would this time be any different? I should know better than to ask. But it's part of the plan, and Emily needs me to get a recording of our conversation. I need to come up with something.
"I can't do it anymore. I did it once, but that was the deal. Now you're going back on your promise, so why should I do anything more for you? You obviously aren't going to give me the grade you promised, so why should I be your puppet anymore?"
Dr. Hayes appears to be taken back. "I'm going to hold up my end of the bargain, Mr. Coleman. You are the only student I've drafted that's been able to successfully bring her into The Undergrounds. You're the man for the job."
I contemplate this for a moment. He's enlisted the help of previous students? How long has The Undergrounds been after Jenga? "Come on, if you've been looking to capture her for such a long time, you've got to have plenty of research by now. You should be able to find her on your own. I'm not the guy anymore."
Dr. Hayes shakes his head, "That's the thing. We've done plenty of research on her. We've sent out villains from The Undergrounds to capture her, too. But you did something different, and now you're the only one who can do it again."
I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to understand why they even need me. "If you've done so much research on Jenga, why do you need her to physically be in The Undergrounds? I thought that's what all of this was about - researching the town hero."
Dr. Hayes scoffs, "How dumb are you?"
I'll answer that: very.
"We need to hold her hostage for leverage."
I quirk an eyebrow, "You mean for ransom?"
"No. Leverage. We'll hold her hostage so that the S.E.A will have to save their little pride and joy and we'll reveal them for who they really are - prejudiced narcissistic snobs who think they're protecting non-supers from their super peers, but they're doing more harm than good. And Jenga? She works for them. She's the only hero in this town and you want to know why? Because the S.E.A allowed her to be. They limited it to just her. They've even protected her from the analysis testing! There's not one individual listed in the school system with the same power as Jenga. She's not listed because she's working for them!"
My mind races back to the conversation Em and I had when she told me about Grayson's powers. It was early in the morning when she told me, so I didn't ask a lot of questions. But now it's all coming back to me. She said she found Grayson's records because she has 'clearance'. She told me she worked for the town, and that's why she didn't have to wear a wristband.
"Open your eyes, Mr. Coleman. Do you want the S.E.A to continue ruining the lives of students with super powers? Do you want them to continue manipulating the system, and making non-supers superior to supers?"
All of a sudden, I feel the need to leave the room. I feel the walls closing in more and more by the second. My heart is racing and my head is pounding. I almost want to place my hands on my ears and run out of the classroom like a child.
"I'm sorry to have wasted your time, Dr. Hayes. I'll be in touch." At that, I make a dash out of the lecture room and find myself racing to the closest bench I can find so I can sit down and mull things over. A cold ocean breeze makes the giant palm tree above my head sway and shake off a few rain drops onto my head.
"Hey! How'd it go?" Emily bounces up from behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder as she comes around the bench to sit next to me.
I shake my head, "Not good."
At least my heart rate is slowing down. Now I feel completely numb.
Emily places her hand on my knee, "What happened? Did you record everything?"
I dig into my pocket and press the stop button, suddenly becoming furious with her eager attitude. "Here it is - the whole conversation. You want me to send it to you so you can pass the message along to your friends in the S.E.A?"
Emily backs away from me. "Whoa. Chill out, Beck. What did Hayes say to you in there?"
I stand to my feet, feeling my hands ball up into fists. "It's what you said to me. You work for the S.E.A, don't you?"
She blinks a few times, looking around to make sure no one is eavesdropping. "Seriously, Beck, where's this coming from?"
Without a second thought, I grab her wrist and slide her sleeve up her arm. "No wristband. To everyone on campus, you're not a super. You're not in the records whatsoever. You have clearance to S.E.A records. Tell me, Em, who's side are you actually on?"
She yanks her arm away from me, appalled by my actions, but she doesn't try to defend herself.
"How am I supposed to trust you when you could be reporting my every move? Who knows how many times you've recorded our conversations?"
Em scoffs, "Oh I'm the untrustworthy one? Why don't you think about how many identities you've had to create in the past few weeks. I'm not a traitor. If anyone here is two-faced, it's you!"
I feel my jaw clench as I try to calm myself down. The last thing we need is an audience. "I never wanted you to get involved in this. I don't want your help."
She crosses her arms over her chest, "But you need my help-"
"Not if it involves the S.E.A!" I spin around and grab my book bag off of the bench. When I turn back around, Emily has tears welling up in her eyes. But those aren't tears of sadness. The tears falling from her eyes are tears of anger, of betrayal.
"So this is how we end? Calling each other two-faced and walking away not knowing if we can trust each other?"
I run my hand through my hair, trying to reject the feeling of the lump in my throat as I contemplate the words to say.
"Fine," She breaks the silence with just one piercing word. "I guess if I get kidnapped again I'll know who to blame." She rolls her eyes and turns on her heel, but I'm not letting her leave on that note.
"You really think I would've involved you in this at all if I was just going to do it all over again?"
She shrugs, "I guess I'll find out. See you around, Beckett."
Just like that, she's walking away from me. She doesn't even turn around. Her mind is made up on being the hero, and if that means she's going to continue working for the S.E.A, then I've made up my mind to stay as far away from her as possible.
***
When Maggie cheated on me, I remember laying in my bed all day in silence, wondering what I could've done differently. I asked myself over and over why she didn't love me. Noah and Derek would occasionally check in on me because I had just gotten out of the hospital and they wanted to make sure I was staying hydrated and eating. But they knew I wasn't okay emotionally. As for tonight, I'm not okay, but I'd rather stub my left pinkie toe than let my roommates know that.
So naturally, I'm blasting Big Time Rush in my room to make it seem like I'm having a normal day. In reality, I'm trying not to throw things across my room in frustration.
You need to chill, dude. Clear your mind, align your chakras and all that crap.
Reggie, I am not doing yoga. But I think I will go for a walk.
I slide on a pair of Nikes and grab my phone off of my night stand. My phone lights up with the time. 7:30? Geez, my day went by in a fury-filled daze.
Normally, I'd announce where I'm going, but Noah and Derek know what it means when I go for a walk - I've hit rock bottom. I don't need them trying to make me feel better or distract me from my problems with video games. I just need to leave and be alone right now.
I quietly close the apartment door behind me as I leave. There's a trail behind our apartment complex that goes on for a half of a mile before you eventually hit the beach. In all honesty, I hardly ever go to the beach even though it's so close by. This time of year, the days are warm but the nights get cooler, and I'm usually too busy during the day to go take a walk on the beach.
Overhead, I can hear the pelicans and seagulls cawing at each other, and I watch them circle the trees in search of their nests and scraps of food. The trees flow back and forth in the wind, and in the distance, I can vaguely hear the crashing of waves. My shoes are starting to fill up with sand, so I slip them off and carry them in my hand by my fingertips, letting the sand make its way between my toes.
Once I finally reach the beach, where I can see the ocean in front of me and witness the many students studying on multi-colored towels and swinging in hammocks, I realize that I've been missing out on this beautiful scenery. The sun setting in the background makes the atmosphere all the more serene.
See, Becky? You just needed to clear your mind-
I can't believe I've wasted so much precious time thinking of ways to fix things, when I should've never gotten myself into this situation in the first place.
Becky, you're regressing...
No! I'm not! Because for the first time in a long time, I'm looking at something stunning right in front of me, knowing I've avoided it and rejected it's beauty, and I know that I have to actually do something instead of beat myself up about it.
This isn't about the beach anymore is it...
Emily doesn't deserve to be avoided and rejected by me. She's always been helpful, kind, and understanding. She's always there for me, even when I put her in crappy circumstances.
And I'm the hurricane that ruins the peaceful ocean waves.
I didn't even give her a chance to explain herself. I bombarded her with questions and accusations, and then I just let her go once I had successfully bullied her with an argument that never should have happened.
I reach down to pick up a sea shell and toss it into the ocean in front of me. I can't believe I blindsided her like that. I can't believe I let Dr. Hayes get in my head. As I toss another shell into the water, I feel a part of me releasing some of my rage with the shell. A piece of driftwood washes up, and I immediately pick it up and snap it over my knee to break it. Just like that, over and over, I throw anything I can find into the ocean. I'm tempted to ask one of the students here if I can chuck one of their notebooks into the water, but I doubt that would go over well.
Once I've finally gotten my pent-up emotions out of my system, I turn around to head back to the apartment. Maybe I've messed things up, but I'm the only one who can clean up the mess I've made, and I've got to start now.
With my hands tucked into the pockets of my jeans, I begin to think of ways I can regain Emily's trust. She's right - I need her. I hate admitting that, but I need to be honest with myself. She is the peace to the chaos I create.
I can't survive in this storm on my own.
As I'm walking along the trail, I hear a twig snap behind me. Normally, I'd dismiss the sound as a squirrel, but I don't think I can typically hear the footsteps of a squirrel following behind me. Perhaps it's just another student coming off of the beach.
When I'm suddenly tackled to the ground and my head is slammed against the sand beneath me, I realize a bit too late that it's not a squirrel. No matter how much I squirm and try to fight, my attacker is diligent about keeping my face on the ground.
The next thing I know, all I can taste is sand, and all I can see is darkness.