I've written so many chapter I've decided to add Wednesday to the days I upload so this fan fiction will now be posted twice a week on a Wednesday and Sunday. I decided to write in Reed's POV to honour 'Red' the short film which came out a couple weeks back. Parker Queenan, the face of Reed, stars in it and it's really good so go watch it!
Reed POV:
My room smelled so badly of weed it was hard to believe there was any oxygen in here at all. My black walls were covered in band and drug posters with the only other things in here being a scruffy old dresser with clothes spilling out of the drawers and my double bed pressed against the back wall. I was currently sat on the plush grey carpet floor which was covered in dirty clothes that had been strewn across it.
My stereo, which was atop the dresser, was blasting pink floyd at a dangerously high volume whilst I puffed my cigarette. Currently in a state of thought, I continued to vaguely pay attention to the rock songs that vibrated through my body...or is that just the numb sensation of being high? I can't tell at this point. I watched the smoke blow out from my mouth as the numbing sensation took full effect.
Good. Now I feel good.
There was a knock at my door so I pulled out my cigarette, 'Come in,'
My dad opened it, peering inside, 'Hey buddy, you ok?'
'Yeah just smoking the thoughts away you know?' I put the cigarette back in my mouth.
My dad seemed concerned, 'How many have you had today,'
I shrugged, more than I should've.
'Reed, we've talked about this-'
'I know dad but today was a really hard day. Besides, you know I'm not addicted it's just for fun,' I explained, hoping he wouldn't take it away.
'Fine,' he gave in, 'But next time I'm taking it from you again ok?'
'Ok,'
There was a knock at the front door.
Fuck.
My dad went to leave, 'I'll get it-'
'No!' I whisper yelled, 'It's probably Lester and I don't want to talk to him,'
'Why not?' My dad was surprised, 'You two are best mates!'
'Dad...please don't ask questions. I don't know the answer to most of them myself so...just don't answer the door,' I begged.
He shook his head, 'I'm answering the damn door.'
'Ok ok!' I called him back desperately, 'But can you at least not bring me into it?'
My dad sighed, 'Fine! I won't tell him you're here,'
'Thank you,'
'Love you buddy,'
'Love you too dad,'
As soon as he left I sighed and reached for the alcohol beside me. I poured myself the whiskey and necked it, wincing at the taste but after a bit it took the painful confusion away from me.
God what is up with me.
I'm not usually like this.
Fuck you Lester.
Necking another shot, I thought back to the other night. How I kissed him, as a joke but...it's still a kiss. I don't usually care all that much but for some reason I do now. I've kissed him before when we were drunk as fuck I guess.....I've just never felt like that before.
It was weird, it was only a few seconds but just. When we were kissing I just wanted him to be closer, I wanted the others to disappear. And in that moment.
I wanted it to be real.
I heard the front door shut again and pushed it all deep down.
Before I could neck another shot, my phone buzzed in the pocket of my leather jacket. It was TJ.
Me and Lester may be best mates but so is TJ. Unlike Lester, who let's be real isn't the smartest in the pack, TJ has a way with words that makes me calm down. I'll actually listen to him because I know he understands how I feel. Lester tries to make jokes most of the time and although they're a great short-term fix they won't do anything in the long run. That and also Lester is my problem so...
I invited TJ over so we could talk properly after confessing...that I think I like Lester.
Think makes a big difference.
I may just be completely overthinking it just because I got a boner but it really felt like more than that. I felt alive, like I never have. Like there was actual electricity running through us both.
Could just be the drugs I suppose.
But I guess I should make myself a bit more presentable than just wearing a leather jacket and sweatpants. I took both of those things off and pulled on the closest thing to me, a baggy blue t shirt and some black jeans that haven't been washed since...since god knows when.
Putting out my cigarette and leaving the alcohol on the dresser, I picked up my lynx black deodorant and sprayed under my t. Getting my leather jacket again, I put on my converse and went downstairs.
My dad was sprawled out on the couch watching a soccer game, 'You got anything?'
'Weed's in my room, Ciggys in my pocket, I don't do anything else,' I told him, getting out the cigarettes and handing him one.
'Cheers son,' he thanked me, 'Open a window would ya,'
I did as he said and then sat back down on the comfy chair, 'TJ's coming over later,'
'That's fine...you gonna tell him what happened with Lester?' He asked.
'He already knows,' I shook my head.
'But you're not gonna tell me?' He sounded hurt which made me feel guilty.
I laughed it off, 'Don't worry about it dad, it's just me being stupid. TJ will set me straight,' or not depending on what the truth is.
'You gonna get rid of those ruddy car remains?' Dad moved the conversation on.
'Sorry, Yeah,' I nodded, lighting my cigarette, 'We're doing that too, but thanks for being cool about it being there,'
'Oh yeah well his dad's a right bastard inn'e?' My dad did a husky laugh, borrowing my lighter to light his own, 'Fucking sicko deserves it, TJ's a good lad! Mother fucker is a hypocrite calling me a roughed up blowfish behind my back,'
I frowned, 'Who told you that?'
'Stacy's mom,' (AHHHHHH STACY'S MOM HAS GOT IT GOING ON)
'Oh...'
'You and Stacy still together?'
'On and off you know? When we want it, no commitment,' I puffed my cigarette and was now thinking about that too. Stacy was a great kisser...but she never made me feel the same way Lester did.
'Reed...are you ok?' My dad asked, sitting up properly.
'I'll be fine dad it's just...I'm thinking about a lot of things and- it's nothing really, please stop asking,'
'Do you wanna be serious with Stacy?' He puffed his own cigarette.
'No no, it's not that. I like what me and Stacy have. I've never been in a proper relationship so,' I ran a hand through my hair, stealing a bit of beer from my dad's bottles
My dad grunted for it back, taking a sip, 'Is that what this is about? You're horny?
'I mean that's not what I meant but when am I not?'
He chuckled, 'Just use my computer for the hub, I don't care,'
I shook my head, 'TJ'll be here soon,'
'He's caught you before, I remember you acting all cool about it and then afterwards you-'
'Dad-'
'You cried with the stuffed animal you've kept since you were six,' he laughed, opening another beer.
'The readers didn't need to know that,' I face palmed.
'Who?' He whipped his head round in attempts to look for them.
'No-never mind dad, just don't bring max into this,' I felt awkward now, 'Do you know what, I'll take you up on that offer. I'm going to my room,'
'Ok, if TJ gets here soon then I'll cover for you,' he turned the tv up extra loud.
'Thanks dad,'
'Anything for my boy,'
I went upstairs and used dad's computer to get into porn hub. He has premium. I watched a couple, did my business for a bit.
It did make me feel better actually...until I kept thinking of Lester which totally threw me off my game.
My phone buzzed on the dresser so after I'd finished, I read the message that was printed across the screen.
lol.lesterB: Reed, come on
I ignored him and played the next video.
It went off again.
Rolling my eyes I ignored them till I was done.
lol.lesterB: I just wanna talk
lol.lesterB: Is it about the other night?
lol.lesterB: It's all chill man, I don't care
lol.lesterB: I wouldn't even care if you liked me, I'm cool with that
lol.lesterB. Please just talk to me
I stared at the messages before turning my phone off and going back downstairs after I'd calmed down.
My dad has disappeared from the couch and when I looked around the house I realised he had left.
Someone knocked on the door and I checked the window first to make sure it was TJ. It was.
Opening it, I pulled him into a bro hug.
'How you doing?' He asked as he sat in the back garden, the evening sun shining brightly on us.
'Shit,' I huffed, 'Is this how you felt?'
'Yup,' He smiled a bit, 'But I didn't have a me, so, I wanted to help,' he produced a wicker basket that was filled with gifts, 'I got you a "What the fuck is my life" care package,'
Receiving it from him, I grinned, 'This all looks rad,'
'I went all out,'
I took out the first item, 'Ciggys, thank you,' I put them in my pocket and examined the next correlating item, 'A new lighter? The skull one I wanted!'
'You mentioned it a couple of times...many many times,'
'Dude!' I was so happy now, I also found in there some weed, Jack Daniels, tangfastics (my favourite sweets) and, 'Muffins!'
'Made em myself,' TJ announced proudly.
I wasn't buying it, 'Cyrus helped you didn't he?'
He bowed his head, 'Yeah most of it, I put them in and took them out of the oven. The most vital step if you ask me,'
I rolled my eyes fondly, removing the last item, 'N-No way, this is like, the most expensive game ever! What the fuck!'
TJ nodded.
'How did you even get this?' I asked, pretty bewildered.
He shrugged.
I began putting the things back in the basket but paused, 'You stole money from you dad didn't you?'
'Yeah,'
'TJ he's gonna get so mad,' I warned him, 'You need to stop taking your dads stuff,'
'He doesn't even notice, I steal his shit all the time and he still refuses to acknowledge my existence,' He argued before stopping himself, 'Sorry, this is your time for ranting,'
'No it's ok, your problems would probably help me forget mine,' I reasoned, 'Wanna mail Genevieve?'
'Absolutely, what's the plan?'
'Well, my dad is gonna crush her down small enough to fit in a box and then we leave the threatening note inside,' I took him through it.
'Sounds good, shall I write it now or-'
'No yeah, do it now so we can get it going faster, the readers don't want to wait five chapters,' I put out my old cigarette and got up to get a can of beer.
When I got back, TJ seemed surprised, 'How do you know about them?'
'Kind of obvious if you think about it,'
'I don't think your meant to know-'
'It's being written right now isn't it?'
'Whatever just...act normal again or you might get sent to Canada for breaking the fourth wall too much,' TJ sipped the beer I got for him.
'Do you think we just die when the story ends-'
'Reed,'
'Sorry,'
'Hey bud? Guess what?' My dad called, being back from wherever he had gone.
'What?' I swigged my beer.
'We're going to Canada!' He danced around whilst I spat my beer all over the fire pit.
'WHAT!'
'For a holiday this summer you idiot, we're never moving,'
I regulated my breathing and glared at TJ, 'They did that to tease me,'
'Robin is crafty,' TJ beamed, 'Anyway, I'll be booted to Canada if I do it too so. Get a bit of paper then,'
I did as he said and handed him some paper.
He wrote the message and I put it on the side to add to the box later.
'You wanna talk about your shit now?'
I wasn't high enough for that, 'Want to smoke some weed?'
'Yes, but we're talking about Lester,' TJ insisted whilst I went to get the old weed that needed using up. I got back and TJ continued, 'Take it from me, pushing it away makes it worse. You got to sit with it in order to figure out,'
I started smoking it before handing it over to TJ, 'Alright, I'll talk,' I waited until he'd taken his puff and handed it back to me, 'When I kissed Lester the other night, I didn't expect it to feel so...real.' I passed it back to him, '.....it was like, the hottest thing I've ever done and I've literally had sex,' I remembered me and Stacy, but she really wasn't Lester, 'He was just such a good kisser and I just wished I'd done it properly and that we were alone so it could've lasted,' I rambled without really thinking about what I was saying.
'Would you kiss him again?' TJ took a puff, closing his eyes as he got higher.
'Yeah but I'd only be able to do that in spin the bottle or something, he's straight as hell,' I took it back and had my share, 'Right?'
'Honestly, don't know,' he responded truthfully, 'Sometimes you just like someone and it doesn't matter what their gender is,'
'Do you think I like him? Because I'm not sure,' I fretted just wanting a straight answer...or a gay answer. I just wanted a yes or no answer!
TJ straight up starting laughing more than I have seen him laugh in years.
'No more weed for you,' I took it away from him and he shook his head.
'So you rant about how Lester's an amazing kisser, so much so you wish it had been something more, lasted longer and you admitted to wanting to do it again. Then you were sad because you realised you would only be able to do that if it was a game because he's straight,' He continued to cackle.
'What's so funny?'
'It's just...that's the plot to every gay love story with spin the bottle in it,'
'So.....I did like him?'
'What do you think?'
'No?'
TJ whacked the back of my head, 'No you moron!'
'So what, does that make me bi then?' My Brain was overloading.
'Who caaaaares!' TJ downed his beer, now totally out of it, 'Sexuality isn't always black and white or grey or whatever-'
'What are you even-'
'Shhhhhh,' he put him finger to my lips, 'Listen, Who gives a fuck whether you like boys, girls, non-binary people, gender fluid people, agender people or anything! The point is, you like Lester regardless of the fact he's a guy,'
'What should I do?'
'That's up to you, but I think you two would be cute together,' TJ winked.
Oh god.
Holy Crap.
Fuck.
I like Lester.