A/N: 30.04.20
This is the last chapter of Part I: The Secrets We Hide.
I think the title if Part I really fitted the first portion of the book.
The book started off funny but then it ended up serious and angsty. I was writing this book for a good laugh but ended up questioning my life decisions by the end of it. Smh...
Anyway, I hope you enjoy xx
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*Eli's pov*
I saw Thomas walk down the school hall looking like he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. His olive skin was now pale and his green eyes looked worn out. I felt a pang of guilt rise up my chest. Last night was weird. One second we were running for our lives, then we were kissing, and then we were arguing.
I was about to go up to him to try and talk things out.
"Eli." I yelped when I heard my name, quickly spinning around. Steven stood behind me with a wide grin.
"H-Hey," I stuttered. I quickly dodged his gaze, feeling even guiltier. I kissed another boy while dating Steven. I knew that Steven cheated on me, but this was my first time.
And worst of all, I enjoyed Thomas's kiss much more than any of Steven's. Yesterday's kiss was magical and I'd trade a million of kisses to have one of Thomas's.
"I'm sorry about yesterday," he said, giving my arm a gentle squeeze. I shrugged, putting my books into my locker.
"It happens."
I could feel his gaze burning against my face.
"How about we do something tomorrow?" he suggested.
"But tomorrow's Saturday," I frowned. It was Thomas's first day of work and I wanted to make sure everything went smoothly. I found myself worrying and thinking about Thomas more than I should.
"Yeah, so you're free," Steven said, keeping up with me as I walked away. "We can watch a movie at your place."
"I don't want to watch a movie anymore."
"But-"
"But what? I said I don't want to," I deadpanned. Steven frowned and then pulled me into a classroom, making sure no one was inside before closing the door. He cupped my face in his hands so that I'd look at him, but I stared at his nose instead.
His touch felt warm and familiar, but it felt so much different than when Thomas touched my face. There were no sparks, no tingling sensation, it just felt like flesh against flesh.
Why was I comparing everything with that filthy rat?
"Baby," he frowned.
"I thought I was 'just Eli.'"
"No, you're my baby Eli."
I frowned, finally meeting his gaze. Steven smiled, kissing my forehead.
"I'll make it up to you, promise," he said. "We can do whatever you'd like tomorrow, okay? I'll even spend the night if you'd like. We can go online shopping. I'll bring my credit card."
I used to love it when Steven bought me things. I'd buy whatever, any brand I'd wanted: Prada, Gucci, Louis V, all of them.
But now, I didn't want clothes or bags. Well, I still did, but it wasn't enough.
"Can we just spend time together?" I murmured when he wrapped his fingers around mine.
"Spend time together?"
I nodded. "Like just talking and cuddling," I said. Steven looked at me as if I had lost my mind.
"Uh, sure, baby, of course. Whatever you want," he said, pressing his lips against mine before pulling away. "Cuddling and talking, and maybe something more."
I didn't laugh.
"I really am sorry about yesterday," he said. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Eli."
"I know."
"I'll break up with Payton."
My eyes fluttered in surprise. "What?"
Steven ran a quick hand through his hair, his jaw setting before speaking. "I've been thinking about squaring up."
"Squaring up?" I asked bluntly. Since when does say stuff like that?
"Yeah," he said. "It's not fair for me to be cheating on you. I care about you, Eli, more than you think and know. Even if we can't tell our parents or our friends, I still want to be with you."
I wrinkled my nose, suspicious. "Where is all of this coming from?"
"I just imagined..."
"Imagined what?" My voice was snappy and he frowned.
"I just imagined you with someone else and it made me so mad."
"Who did you imagine me with?" I slowly asked, feeling the blood drain down my face. Did Thomas tell him about the kiss? Did Steven put a hidden camera in my room?
Steven rubbed the nape of his neck, took in a deep breath, before looking at me.
"Thomas talked to me."
"What?!" I almost shouted. "When?"
"Relax, babe," he said, pulling my hands apart when I started to fiddle with them. "He talked to me a couple of days ago? I can't really remember, he's not really a priority in my brain."
A couple of days ago? So it was before our kiss...
"You mean when he said that he'd rip your throat out?" I asked, raising a brow, remembering what he told me over the phone. I knew that Steven was lying because Thomas was the last person who'd look for high school drama. He had so many other problems to deal with that he just couldn't spare a time of his day for anything unnecessary.
"Yeah, what I said last night about him wasn't... That wasn't completely true," he said.
"So what did he say?" I pressed impatiently.
"He said that I was a cheater and that I should 'square up'," he said. Oh, so that's where it came from. It sure did sound like something Thomas would say. "And he threatened me, saying that if I didn't pull myself together and treat you right, he'd steal you from right under my nose."
I blinked in surprise, feeling a blush work up my cheeks.
"He said that?" I breathed.
"Yeah. Why are you smiling?"
I quickly fixed my lips. "Nothing. Did he say anything else?"
Steven hesitated at first. "Nothing relevant. Anyway," he said. "I imagined him taking you away from me and that put a bad taste in my mouth. Not because he's a dirty scumbag, but because the idea of someone else having you made me so angry. And then I put myself in your shoes, always seeing me with different girls, and it didn't feel right."
He pressed hus hand against my burning cheek, looking deeply into my eyes, but all I could think of was Thomas.
"I'm sorry, Eli, I wasn't fair and I wasn't thinking about how you'd feel. I'll be better, okay? No more other girls, no more other boys, just you and me."
I sucked in a tight breath. Steven had years to fix his attitude and he chose now to do it?
How could Steven do this to me? How could he be a douche and when Thomas went to "square him up" he decides to be the boyfriend I always wanted. Why was his timing so bad?!
If Steven had said this to me before yesterday night, I would have leaped into his arms and let him spoil me with all his gifts and clothes and be happy with that.
But now... Now it was different.
He admitted to his mistakes after my kiss with Thomas, the kiss that made me realize that what I had with Steven wasn't real; it wasn't genuine. Or maybe it was. But it wasn't what I wanted anymore, Steven wasn't who I wanted to be with anymore.
But then I remembered how I had pushed Thomas away, telling him that I didn't want to be his secret, that I didn't want him to do what Steven did to me, forcing me to stay behind closed walls while he flirted with other girls.
That was my mistake.
I realized that I had made a horrible mistake of mixing Thomas and Steven. Thomas would never do that to me. He was a lot of things: poor, hot-headed, annoying. But he was also a lot of other things: kind, selfless, genuine, and honest.
"Eli?" Steven murmured. "Baby, why are you crying?"
I realized that I was and felt even more stupid. Steven wiped away my tears and I bit on my lower lip, realizing, at the worst moment, in front of Steven, what I should have realized last night when I was with Thomas.
I realized why I felt so irritated, why Thomas, since day one, has always made me angry; why he made me feel like I was lacking something. I finally figured out what it was.
Thomas had everything that I wish I'd had and he was everything that I couldn't be. The kindness in his heart, the warmth of his eyes, how foolishly selfless he was. Thomas put everyone before him. Even when he was on the brim of shattering, he still stood up and stayed strong. Not for him, but for those around him.
And what was I? Shallow, spoiled, snobby, impatient, crying in my cheating boyfriend's arms while Thomas was dealing with real-life problems, covered in scars and struggling under years of burdens.
And instead if being there for him, what did I do? I broke Thomas. I bent him. I made him jealous by speaking about Steven even though I knew that he was starting to have feelings for me, just because it made me feel good. Just because it made me, for once, feel like I was better than him.
"Eli?" Steven murmured again.
"I'm a terrible person," I blurted, bursting into tears. Steven pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly.
"No, no you aren't," he whispered into my air. "It's my fault, Eli, it's all my fault."
Steven didn't even know what I was talking about and he was still apologizing, and that just made me cry even harder.
He leaned in for a kiss but I pulled away. This didn't feel right.
"Steven, no," I said, wiping away my tears. "I... I can't do this anymore."
"What do you mean?" He asked. His eyes widened. "Eli, are you breaking up with me? I said I'd break up with Payten!"
"Only because Thomas slapped some sense into you! You're only breaking up with her because you don't want me to be with anyone else, like I'm some kind of object for you to keep," I argued. "If Thomas hadn't spoken up, would you even be here right now?"
"Of course-"
I dodged his hand.
"You're a filthy liar, Steven. You're a filthy rat!"
I stopped and shook my head. "No, I take that last part back. I can't insult Thomas like that."
Steven let out a surprised noise.
"I think we need some space," I said.
"Eli-"
I left the room, pushing him away, refusing to cry.
Instead, I walked down the hallway with my chin held high.
I knew what I was going to do.
I knew what I had to do.
I was going to save Thomas.
Thomas, the filthy rat who needed help more than anyone. Thomas who was too selfless to ask for anything. Thomas who wore a mask to hide his pain. Thomas who did favors without anyone asking him. Thomas who grew up too quick. Thomas who had too many secrets.
I'll save him.
To be continued...
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A/N: Please don't forget to leave a vote!
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-Hidee
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