San had held tight to his macbook bag as if it were a safety barrier between himself and the harsh reality that was now his world. He tried to wash the thoughts that kept attacking his mind about Yunho and Jongho.
"Jongho is Yunho's fuck- . ." San shook his head, he didn't want to associate himself with those thoughts, they were horrifying. It was kind of like when you think of your grandma naked, except this situation was a hundred times more painful and just as, and maybe even more so disgusting. Yet all he did as he walked to his car was think of exactly that.
For starters Jongho was still his student. San hated that the kind boy he thought he knew from his class had been brought into his personal life in such a strange way, work life and private life should be kept separate. San had no idea how he was going to face him knowing that he was involved with his ex boyfriend. He even felt bad knowing he'd have to face Yeonjun as well, knowing what he knew.
Just how on earth had Yunho gotten himself involved with someone almost half his age? A swarm of unkind words swelled on San's lips and he squashed the need to say said words aloud.
Secondly Yunho had a wife and daughter, and they had looked so happy when he'd seen them on Sunday in the park. San felt terrible knowing that maybe one day she'd find out Yunho's dirty secret, and what appeared to be a happy marriage from San's point of view, would be crushed and their family broken. San felt betrayal on their behalf, he felt sorry for that girl and for their daughter.
Thirdly, putting thoughts of Jongho aside, although it hurt him right to his core, San had kind of felt a little proud inside at seeing Yunho in such a happy, warm state. It was hard to admit but deep down, in a tiny microscopic section of his heart, San was happy that Yunho had moved on, found someone to love him and started a family, he was happy that Yunho was happy, even if it made him sad. But any resolve that San had been growing was now gone now, he never thought Yunho, the sweet boy from his childhood and literal man of his dreams, would take such a ghastly and vile turn in life.
Lastly, a thought that really confused San, and befuddled him was what Yunho had meant when he had said that Jongho's father was "light" how would you know something like that unless you had met them in person?
Yunho's life seemed complicated and San wondered just how Yunho had ended up like that.
San sighed as he got to his car, putting his bag on the passenger seat and resting his head on his steering wheel.
San's mind was churning, his heart curdling. San took a couple deep breaths in and out and then sat up.
But as soon as he sat up he was mentally slapped in the face and he slid down in his seat and out of sight, for just outside his front window in their own car were Yunho and Jongho.
They were driving past him out of the car park and suddenly San had a terrible idea. A terrible idea that he probably shouldn't follow through with since he was finding it hard to look at the two but yet he still found himself following through with anyway.
San started to tail Yunho and Jongho.
San kept a comfortable distance allowing for a car in between his own and the one Yunho was driving.
He really shouldn't be following Yunho, but a part of him was desperate to know where they were going and what they were doing, he was desperate to know why?
Maybe he didn't want to know these answers, maybe he wasn't meant to, but that didn't stop San from putting his foot on the pedal to catch up and turning on his blinkers mirroring whatever Yunho did when he made a turn.
San just needed some sort of closure, even if the reality of the answers he finds might hurt.
They soon turned down a quiet street and Yunho and Jongho pulled into the driveway of a friendly looking home. Was that Yunho's home? The place he shared with his wife and daughter? Was this Yunho and Jongho's rendezvous?
San stopped his car a couple of houses down across the road so the house was still in his eye line, and slunk down in his seat once again and questioned just what on earth he was doing and what he was prepared to see.
Yunho and Jongho casually got out of the car and San's heartbeat sped up, he hoped to god that they wouldn't see him, he hoped Jongho wouldn't recognise his car.
San watched as Yunho walked straight up the front steps to the homes porch, pulled out a key and opened the front door.
But then Yunho immediately closed the door.
San gasped. "Oh god!" San said out loud. One does not just close a door after opening it for no reason.
Was Yunho's wife home? Was this the moment Yunho gets caught in the act? How long had Yunho been moonlighting as a sugar daddy to Jongho?
San felt like he was a part of some real life reality drama, he was glad and also terrified at having a front row seat. . . at least he wasn't a part of the drama.
He watched as Jongho walked up the front steps and stood beside Yunho and he wondered what the two were saying, especially when the door to the home opened and the two disappeared inside.
If Yunho's wife was home why did Jongho walk inside? Maybe Yunho had more than one sugar baby and this was their meeting place, doors don't just open on their own.
Just how twisted was Yunho's life?
It's at this point San should have left, but yet his feet were glued to the floor of his car and his tyres to the road, un-moving like a boulder.
San turned his radio on at a low volume to distract his mind as his eyes stayed trained on the house. San had to keep reminding himself to blink.
Were Yunho and Jongho ever going to come back out? What unspeakable acts were they doing inside?
Why couldn't he bring himself to leave? What if they were in there the whole night?
Over an hour passed, San not dozing off for a second or being put off by the lady whom kept peering out her window & eyeing San cautiously, when there was finally movement in the residence that Yunho and Jongho had gone into.
It was a little dark outside now as the sun had just about set, making things a little hard to see, but San could definitely see Yunho walk out first and Jongho walk out closely behind, it looked like the younger was holding something, an envelope perhaps? If so what was inside it? Was that Jongho's payment for whatever he had just done with Yunho?
The two got in the car and it's here that San's heartbeat stopped, his sore eyes almost popping out of his head.
San gripped the steering wheel so tightly you could see the whites of his knuckles as he watched Yunho's figure lean over towards Jongho's, it was dark, but San was sure without a doubt that Yunho had just kissed Jongho.
San put a hand to his own lips, remembering how Yunho used to kiss him, their kisses were so full of love and life, they were fierce but they were also gentle. San was always left wondering what other things he could do with Yunho when they got older.
Those thoughts he had were nothing now.
If San had any doubts before about what he had seen, they were now blown away like dust in a gust of wind.
San felt tears trench up in his eyes, why did he follow them in the first place? Why did he do this to himself?
He tried to hold them in though, not letting them drop down his cheeks like he so desperately wanted to do. Instead he let his tears blur his vision, he let his body shake and his heart beat in an uncontrollable fashion.
He'd waited all his life since he left to see Yunho again, he'd loved him all this time, and for what? Just to have his heart broken again and again in a space of a couple of days? San felt pathetic, how could he have ever loved someone like that? Why did he care so much? Still care so much?
San watched Yunho and Jongho drive away, this time not tailing them.
He couldn't bring himself to follow them again and witness something like that, he was grateful for his feet being glued to the floor of his car.
San closed his eyes and rested his head once again on his steering wheel, he was doing this so often recently it was as if his steering wheel was a pillow, a painful and sometimes noisy pillow.
A couple of minutes passed when a soft tapping stirred him out of his trance.
San looked up, almost having a heart attack when he saw some old guy staring directly at him through his window.
San quickly wound down his window, not even bothering to hide his tears, which in his state of shock had fallen free from his eyes.
"Ahh s-sorry" San fumbled and bowed as he noticed just behind the man was the woman whom had been peeking at him earlier. The old man had probably come out to scold him for sitting outside their house and scaring the woman whom was probably this guys wife. San wiped tears from his face "I w-was just leaving".
With that he quickly put his car in the ignition, not even waiting to hear what the man was going to say, and he drove off.
A/n O_o