// tw: blood \\
deku
I'm sorry.
Hesitantly, I scribbled the words onto a sticky-note. I debated ripping the note up into pieces so small no one would ever be able to put them back together, but I took a deep breath and let it stay intact on the desk. I stifled a yawn and glanced at the clock on the nightstand: 2:47 am.
Next to the nightstand, Todoroki was sleeping peacefully on the bed. How I had managed to slip out of his arms without waking him, I would never understand. But I had done it, and now I was standing in a hoodie and jeans, dreading going outside due to the violent storm.
I stepped toward the door and took a moment to glance back at Shoto. He looked so warm and inviting that I had to stop myself from crawling back into bed and cuddling him. His two-toned hair was spread across the pillow and it moved as he stirred, pulling the blanket closer to his chest. Shoto moved again and I forced my eyes away, put my hand on the door handle, and left him alone in the room.
Silently, I crept downstairs and out of the dorm building, closing the door behind me softly. Toga, Dabi, and Twice were waiting for me on the porch, each looking just as tired as me. Except for Toga, who was grinning wildly, already holding a knife in her hand. As always, she had three more hidden: one in a garter on her thigh, one in a sheath on her back, and another on her belt.
Dabi yawned. "I can't believe we had to pull an all-nighter just for this. Waiting in the rain for six hours is not fun."
"I get to see Ochaco-san!" Toga cried, way too excited considering the time. "And Shoto-kun! Can I stab him? Please?"
"I'm sorry, I snuck you in when I could," I said to Dabi. "And, Toga, please try not to hurt him."
"Aw, does Broccoli care about his boyfriend?" Dabi teased.
I shoved his shoulder. "Shut up, Stitches."
"This is going to be fun," Twice added.
"Fun can happen before midnight. I want to go back to sleep."
Shigaraki walked up the stairs and joined us on the porch. "Toga, go inside. Deku, come with me. Twice and Dabi, you know what to do."
Toga's smile widened and she dashed into the building, a bloodthirsty glint in her eye. Dabi yawned again, rolling his eyes in annoyance as he disappeared into the darkest corner of the porch. Twice stayed on the stairs for a moment before descending them and standing on the concrete path in front of the dorm building.
I sighed and walked into the rain with Shigaraki, who was soaked but not cold—at least, he didn't let me know whether he was cold or not. His eyes were blank, almost bored, and his extra hand covered the rest of his face.
As the cold rain poured down on my head, I followed him across the school grounds. We made our way around a dorm building belonging to a class I didn't personally know and stood there silently.
"So," I said awkwardly after a whole minute where the only sound was the storm raging overhead, "what are we waiting for?"
"Toga is going to drag the class out of their rooms. Twice and Dabi are going to help her fight them. Once the teacher comes out to see what the noise is, you and I will run in."
"I think that's the most words I've ever heard you say consecutively."
"I will smack you."
I rolled my eyes and shut my mouth. Usually, I would have said something clever back, but I really didn't feel like getting slapped at that moment.
Lightning flashed, dividing the sky in half as thunder clapped, shaking the ground slightly. The rain only fell harder, smacking against my head angrily, and, even though I had tried not to let my mind get there, my thoughts drifted to Todoroki. A gut-wrenching sadness drowned out my other feelings as I remembered that this would probably be goodbye for me and Todoroki. I wanted to stay by his side even after I was done pretending to be a hero, as strange as that was. And, even stranger, I felt tears well in my eyes at the thought of this possibly being our last night together.
I had given up fighting my feelings for Shoto—at this point, I didn't care enough. However, if Shigaraki knew that, I would be dead before I could hope to explain.
Before I knew it, at least ten minutes had passed and an excited cheer came from Toga as she battled some of the students. Shigaraki looked around the side of the building and grabbed my wrist tightly, wrapping four fingers around it before dragging me with him.
In front of Class 1-A's dormitory house, Aizawa had shown up, looking just as exhausted as usual. The students had backed up, standing close behind him though they still obviously wanted to fight.
I heard something hit the ground behind me and I turned to see what it was. Shigaraki tugged on my arm, but I pulled it out of his grasp, saying, "Give me a second, I think someone's there."
Shigaraki grumbled but continued on. I walked back to the side of the building, letting out a quiet gasp as I saw Todoroki lying on the ground. His clothes were soaked, his hair a raggedy mess as he just stayed there, unmoving, on his back.
I rushed to his side and checked his pulse, which showed up weakly. His hands were cold as I grabbed them, and I examined his palm to see it was stained red. That's when I noticed the blood—there was some around a rip in his jeans that led to a cut in his thigh. I unzipped his jacket and gasped as I did: The lower half of his shirt was brown with dried blood.
My first thought was to bring Shoto to Recovery Girl, but I couldn't do that. Shigaraki expected me to fight with him and I was already late, plus he didn't want the school nurse to know about the attack for as long as possible. Instead, I made do with what I had. I took off the shirt I had on under my hoodie and tore it twice. One half got wrapped around Shoto's thigh while the other went around his abdomen. His eyes were closed and I bent down to kiss his forehead gently—it was more of an "I'm sorry" than a "Feel better soon."
I stood up, hesitantly leaving his side as I rejoined Shigaraki. He had already started fighting Aizawa, who had his eyes wide open as he nullified Shigaraki's decay quirk. Behind the hero, a few students were watching the fight, instructed to do no more than that. Toga and Dabi were working together to fight Bakugou, Uraraka, Kirishima, Sero, and three others while Twice evaded Tokoyami and Dark Shadow's attacks. Tokoyami was at a disadvantage since Dark Shadow was still hard to control in the dark, so he was relying heavily on the bright lights near the dorm building.
"Deku!" Uraraka yelled as I came into view. "Where were you? Wait, where's Todoroki? Is he okay?"
"He, uh, went to Recovery Girl," I lied.
"Oh, okay." Uraraka dodged as Toga swung at her with a knife.
Unsure of what to do, I stayed to the side of fight, away from the other students but also away from Shigaraki and Aizawa. While dealing with the students surrounding him, Dabi chucked a blue fireball at Eraser Head, who dodged and cursed when it landed in a bush. Fortunately for him, the rain stopped it from catching on fire.
The hero and Shigaraki were walking around each other, neither striking yet. Shigaraki was talking, probably explaining the whole plan to him, and Aizawa kept a straight, bored face the whole time. Suddenly, he lunged, throwing the grey cloth wrapped loosely around his neck.
Two voices screamed "Deku!" at the same time. When I turned, both Shigaraki and Uraraka had spoken, and now I was at a crossroads: Should I go to Uraraka to keep up appearances, or Shigaraki?
I decided on the latter and dashed to his side, knowing that Uraraka would find out sooner or later anyway. She let out a short cry when she realized I wasn't coming to help her, but I ignored it as Aiwawa glared at me, disappointment evident in his face. He didn't even say anything, and that felt like a punch to the gut.
Thunder rumbled overhead as Bakugou let out a frustrated yell. Uraraka, next to him, turned to me and yelled, "Why, Deku?" Toga giggled and stabbed wildly, nearly hitting the brunette with her knife, but she dodged and continued questioning me. "Was this your plan the whole time? Were you just—Ugh!—pretending to be our friend?"
Toga growled as Uraraka avoided her knife again. "Stay still, Ochaco-san!"
The students' voices all quieted to a whisper as Uraraka's words settled over them. Heads turned to look at me, but I was too busy helping Shigaraki evade Aizawa's capturing wrap to notice. My quirk vanished as the hero looked at me, his eyes wide open beneath his goggles, and Shigaraki took the chance to jump at him, placing a hand on his arm (with all five fingers). Aizawa flinched and closed his eyes, instead focusing on Shigaraki again.
"I trusted you, Deku!" Uraraka screamed, kicking Toga in the stomach. "Why did you do this?"
"You're a piece of shit," Bakugou added, his voice filled with rage. He threw a punch wildly and decked Dabi in the face, sending him stumbling backwards.
"Shigaraki! We have to get out of here, and soon!" Twice yelled as Dark Shadow started overpowering Tokoyami and roaring angrily.
Dabi escaped the porch quickly, dragging Toga along with him. She was squirming and trying to run back to Uraraka, but Dabi's grip on her wrist was strong. Bakugou tried following them, but with a sharp yell from Aizawa and Kirishima holding him back, he stayed where he was.
Eraser Head's arm started crumbling slowly and Shigaraki chuckled darkly. "You'll have to do something about that before it spreads to the rest of your body," he hissed, stepping closer to the hero. Aizawa backed away, using his other arm to send his tape at me. I grabbed it, bringing him to the ground with a tug so Shigaraki could approach the hero and put his foot on his back, watching as the skin on his arm decayed quickly.
Aizawa tried to stand up, but Shigaraki pushed him down forcefully with his foot. "Do you see this? Do you see your students suffering? Well, guess what, it's your fault. If you heroes weren't so damn selfish, this wouldn't be happening." The hero just grunted in response.
After sending a kick to his side, Shigaraki walked away from him and I followed. Some of the students stared at me, trying to comprehend what they were seeing, while others were trying to follow. Twice sent up a row of Dabi duplicates to slow them down and we walked away from the scene.
Too late, I noticed that we were back by the same dorm building we had hid behind early, which meant that Todoroki was just around the corner. Toga ran ahead, giddy even though she was sad to leave the school grounds, and squealed happily when she noticed the red- and white-haired boy on the ground.
"It's Shoto-kun!" she cried. "Can we take him? I want to stab him more!"
More?
"Toga, did you stab him?"
"Yeah! He was asking about you and it was so cute that I couldn't stop myself—"
"I told you not to hurt him!" I said angrily.
"You told me to try not to hurt him."
I sighed, rubbing my temple in annoyance.
"Deku, carry him," Shigaraki demanded.
"What?"
"Carry Todoroki."
"Why?"
"Because we can use him."
"No! We need to leave him here—"
"Carry him." The tone in Shigaraki's voice told me I didn't have a choice, so I obliged and picked up Todoroki's limp body. His head fell back and I could feel the dried blood through his jacket—he needed to get help soon.
Sticking to the shadows, we made our way across the city. The storm continued to beat down on us as my worries edged away at my mind: I didn't know whether or not Shoto would be okay, and that was terrifying to think about.
Even though I was back with the League, I couldn't help but feel distraught about his condition—I shouldn't be upset, though. I shouldn't care about him.
But . . . I did. Why?
Why did I care so much about him even though he was a hero? I quietly cursed to myself, laughing at my own idiocy. Feelings are for the weak, right? So, how the hell did I end up like this?