We walked out of the house and I felt a wave of feelings and sensations .
I felt Harry's hand in mine which gave me chills over my body , I felt his gaze on me , I feelt the cold wind of the night and I felt the taste the alcohol left in my mouth , leaving me dizzy .
,, You won't ask me where are we going ? '' Harry says after we stare in each other's eyes while walking .
,, No , I trust you .''
He looks away shyly and then laughs .
,, Well that's something new . ''
,, You want me to take my trust back ? '' I joke
,, Oh ,no ,please don't I worked hard for it and I think I deserve it . ''
I don't say anything , I just look at him and get close so I can get my arm around him. He then kisses my forehead again and puts his arm around me too .
,, Okay , we're here . '' he says and we're now in front of a small cabin in the back yard of the house . ,, Well , kind of '' . He goes in and I wait for him outside . He finally comes out with a blanket .
,, What's that for ? '' I ask him.
,, Well for us to sit on it ,duh. ''
I laugh at him I help him put in on the ground .
,, I wouldn't want you to get this filthy grass all over that beautiful dress of yours '' he says giving me a smirk .
,, Shut up , Harold ''I say and notice his face changed . He wasn't smiling anymore.
,, Harold ?'' he says ,, Why are you calling me this?''
,, Well, Zayn called you that so I thought people call you that too.''
We sit then on the blanket .
,, Ammmm,no ,not actually . He's the only one calling me that.''
,, Oh '' I say now embarrassed . ,, I'm sorry... are you mad ?''
,, What ,no,no...'' he says getting closer to me now , putting his head pressed against my neck and his hands on my back .
,, I could never EVER be mad at you .''
And I feel him smiling on my neck . I found myself smiling too .
,, Why don't you like this name?''
He sighs but still responds :
,, It's not that I don't like it , is that ...This is how my ex girlfriend Camille would call me . Her , Zayn and I were really good friends and they would always call me that as an inside joke . We broke up like a year ago ... well she broke up with me ,but I still don't like to talk about that ''
,, Why did you break up ''
,, We were just really different . I guess ''
And then , I take his face in my hands and I press my nose on his .
,, Well , I'm glad you broke up because we wouldn't be here today then . I would've probably stayed in my room and read or sleep , not feeling this good . Thank you Harry for making me feel good . ''
,, You're welcome , Lor . '' he says and we stay like that for what seems like ages .
But then we hear noise and voices .
,, Here you are , you little lovers'' Danielle says and I don't need much time to figure out she's drunk . Plus she had an empty bottle in her hand .
I see Louis walking behind her and Liam and Niall . I also see Zayn with a guilty look on his face.
,, You left the party , so we brought the party to you. '' Niall says .
,, Yey ... what you I do without you guys '' Harry says with a pout on his face .
I put my hand over his to assure him it's fine.
,, Hmmm, let's play a gamee'' Danielle says as soon as she sits.
She gets closer to me and I can feel her breath smelling like alcohol.
,, Let's plaay ... spin the bottle''
,, Oh , really , Danielle ? '' Harry says ,, you're lame ''
,, It could be fun '' Zayn says looking at me fora quick second .
,, Yeah , but we're 5 guys and two girls ... '' Louis says but then he adds ,, fuck it, let's play''
Harry looks at me and I say
,, If all of you play then ...''
,, Alrightt , let's doooo it '' Danielle says ,, take a sit everybody .
Zayn stays next to Danielle , facing me, next to him is Louis , facing Harry , and after there's Liam and Niall .
,, OK , I'm first '' Louis says and spins .
The bottle spins , and spins , and spins , and lands on Harry .
,, Of course '' he says smiling , throwing his hands in the air .
,,Oh , Harry, my love '' Louis says and straights right to Harry's lips .
This is interesting .
After a short while , Harry pulls away laughing and says ;
,, Not tongue , you idiot ''
,, Sorry ,mate , I got caught up in the moment '' Louis replies .
,, Okay ,it's my turn .'' Danielle says and spins it .
The bottle lands on the person I didn't expect at all . It lands on me .
,, UUUUUUUUUUUUHHHH '' Louis ,Liam and Niall say.
I look at Harry and he just blinks smiling.
,, Oh , don't tell me you have to ask him for permission now '' Danielle says and looks away .
Then I stand up on my knees , I take her facein my hands and I press my lips against hers . She seemed surprised at first but then she pulled me closer , with her hands in my hair .
She then adds tongue and I let her do it . The boys were shouting and screaming in the background having a really good view of what's happening .
After a quick while I hear Harry coughing so I pull away from the kiss , seeing Danielle with her eyes still closed , her lipstick being all over her mouth now.
I look at Louis who was laughing with Liam and Niall , I look then at Zayn quickly who was smiling and scratching his head .
Then I look at Harry with fear . Then I noticed he was smiling too , his dimple showing . He rubbed my hand and blinked at me , assuring me he's fine.
Well , that was something . Normally after this I would probably be in love , but I'm not. I mean the kiss was good , but I didn't feel that way , and I guess Harry has something to do with it .
The guys played too , Liam having to kiss Zayn but it was more like a smooch , and Niall having to kiss Danielle , which was also a smooch . Then was Zayn's turn .
The bottle landed on me . Exactly what I hoped not to happen . I looked at Harry , who was now really nervous . Then I look at Zayn who was standing in front of me , looking into my eyes . There's silence for a couple of seconds and then he goes :
,, I'm sorry guys but I really don't feel like kissing . My mouth tastes like crap and I don't have any gum'' And saying all of these he was still looking into my eyes .
I can see Harry loosen up , and I find myself loosen up too .
,, And I think I'll go anyways , I'm tired''
,, C'MON MATE '' Niall says ,, it's 1 am ''
,, Exactly '' Zayn says and gets up . He leans over to me a bit so no one could hear him and says :
,, You owe me a kiss now '' and then he gets up and leaves .
,, Okay , we're getting back to the party now , I need some boozing '' Louis says and takes Danielle by the hand Niall and Liam following them.
Now that we were alone , Harry gets closer to me .
,, Soo , that was a kiss '' he says .
,, You're jealous ?'' I ask,, or homophobic ?''
,, Me ? Homophobic ? Please '' ,, And should I be jealous?'' he asks , kissing my shoulder and then looking up at me .
,, No ,not really ''I say and he smiles widely .
,, Oh , I almost forgot '' he says and pulls out his phone .
,, I noticed you're quite good at french ''
,, The best ''I correct him .,, I love it ''
,,Yeah ,well I found this song ,I have no idea what it says but I think you would like it
*harry plays the song I put at the beginning of the chapter but i'll put it her too *
And he was right , I did like it . It was a sad song , about a break up but it was good .
He takes my hand and we start dancing , under the stars ,his hand on my waist and mine on the back of his neck . He softly presses his nose and forehead against mine and we both take a deep breath .
I never felt this way before ,never ever , I feel so calm yet so nervous around him.I have been the most happiest with him these weeks that I have been in the last six months of my life . I felt happy when I was with him ,and so sad when I wasn't . He gives me butterflies with his kind smile and heart and with everything he is .
I feel the cool breeze on my cheeks and his hands which are now in my hair . He tries to untangle it and at some point , he pulls away and I open my eyes to look at him.
Oh no ,noooonononooo . My heart starts racing like crazy and my eyes are filled with tears , my hands are getting cold and I'm about to vomit.
A little part of my hair was in his hands .I looked at his beautiful face which was now so confused . I felt my heart breaking into pieces and I barely hear him say :
,, Lor? What's this?''
Then he looks at me and sees the way I am . He quickly tries to comfort me .
,, Hey , Lor it's alright ''
But I start running . I run like my life depends on it , feeling the wind whipping my tears away.
,, Lor ! Lorelai wait ! '' he says yelling after me .
I bumb into Zayn which stops me for a second and asks me what happened .
,, Zayn , please , let me go '' I say and he does what I said .
I start looking for my brother in the crowded place which was spinning now . I went from joy and enthuziasm ,to sadness and I was crying I couldn't stop . My heart was racing and my hands were cold and I could still hear Harry behind me .
I try to get out of the house and start running down the street , when I feel hands around me , someone was hugging me from behind , trying to stop me and calm me down . It was Harry .
,, Let go of me Harry ''
,, No , please ,don't , tell me what happened , talk to me ''
,, Let go of me or I'll scream '' I say crying even more and pushing him away . He let's go of me and asks me :
,, What's wrong ''
Global warming is wrong
Homophobia is wrong
Racism is wrong
People are wrong
Guns are wrong
I AM WRONG
CANCER IS WRONG
,, What's wrong ? WHAT'S WRONG ? You really want to know that ? '' and I start shaking
,,yES ,PLEASE ''
,, Moving to this damn school is wrong , taking that damn class was wrong , talking to you was wrong , coming here was wrong '' I say and I turned around to start walking again
,, Why ? just-'' he says that and grabs my hand
I pull it away and I find myself screaming :
,, BECAUSE I HAVE CANCER .''
And I feel my eyes burning now
He looks at me with no expression on his face .
I look behind him and I see Zayn and the other guys behind .
,, Because I have a bloody tumor inside me who feeds with my life everyday . Who eats me alive . Who hates me . ''
And a longs silence was floating in the air
,, That's why '' I continue shaking from everything I have .
Because this bloody cancer doesn't forgive anyone . Because it starts from out of nowhere and feeds with everything you are . Because of cancer I can't love myself , and even worse , I can't love you.