Harry suddenly felt like he could breathe once more. He had known for some time that Severus wasn't completely human and he had known since his chat with Hermione that the man in front of him was, in fact, a vampire. But the feeling of release he got knowing-without a single doubt-was incredibly liberating. He wasn't even scared. He had meant it when he told Severus that he trusted the man with his life. He watched in fascination as Severus looked down into his goblet before going incredibly still.
Reaching out, Harry gently took their glasses and set them on the coffee table before settling himself down on the floor between the man's legs. It was perilous business, such a move, but he was willing to take the risk-if only to shock the man out of his current state of mind.
"Master Severus?" Harry hadn't made the decision to call him by his given name instead of his surname but he was pleased with the way it sounded, nonetheless. The man looked up at him, his eyes shielded from emotion. The small crease between his eyebrows gave away his concern, though. "What is it that you're afraid of?" Harry was delighted to feel long fingers carding through his hair.
"I do not wish to harm you. And, by nature, that's exactly what I'll do. As loathe as I am to admit this, you've managed to make me care about your wellbeing. I am, by definition, a monster. I could easily crush your skull just by squeezing too hard." He felt the hands on his hair grip tighter, as if to prove his point. "I could easily, so easily, kill you without a second thought." Harry shook his head.
"No, you couldn't. You would never willingly cause me harm. You drink your potions to keep myself and everyone around you safe and you're so overly cautious about what you do around others that I think it would take much more willpower to actually hurt me than you're thinking it would." A moment of silence passed between the two.
"Harry, I-" Harry didn't give himself permission to interrupt the man, but he did. And flushed at what he heard himself say although he couldn't bring himself to regret it.
"Do you have any idea how handsome you are? I'm sure you have glamours, I'm sure I would have noticed if you looked like this-even when I was a first year. There's no way I didn't notice before..." Severus stopped short at the sudden change of subject.
"Harry, I take an incredibly strong glamour potion every night before bed to make myself as undesirable as possible, how on earth do you find anything about me remotely attractive right now?"
"I think your potions must be getting weaker or they aren't working properly. You've been getting more attractive lately. I've only just now noticed but now that I think about it, a few weeks ago your hair stopped looking so greasy and then your nose shrunk a bit-then it straightened out completely. And then you were less lanky and more fit and now your skin isn't all sallow and stained." He couldn't prevent rising to get a better look or his hand from moving up and touching Severus's hair if he had tried. "It definitely doesn't work right anymore." Harry was so mesmerized by Severus's looks that he almost hadn't noticed his voice dropping to a whisper.
Severus was stunned. No one had ever seen through his glamours before, not even the dark lord had any inkling that they were there. Severus himself had started to forget what he really looked like. And yet, Harry was speaking the truth. It rang out with every syllable that he was saying. Suddenly, a wave of warmth came over him followed quickly by fear.
"No, Harry you must be wrong. You must be wrong! You can't see through the glamours, you've just tricked your mind into thinking you can." He watched as Harry scrunched up his forehead in thought.
"What does it mean if I can see through your glamours?" Mild panic started to settle in and Severus shoved it down to deal with it later. He couldn't be...he wouldn't even entertain the thought. He was a horrible person, he'd done unforgivable things...
"You can't see through them. You just can't. The only people that can see through glamour potions on creatures-" Stopping short, he clamped his jaws tight. He had almost let it slip. If he said it, then it would be true. But how could it not be true? He didn't understand how he could be accepted by the beautiful specimen in front of him, but he had to have been if Harry was truly starting to see through the magical barriers that changed his appearance.
Suddenly, Harry's scent was everywhere. It wrapped around him like a warm blanket on a cold day. Sweet like honey with a warmth that could only come from cinnamon and star anise and something else-something uniquely Harry.
Severus groaned and pulled Harry onto his lap to straddle him. Their chests molded together, heartbeats speeding up in time with one another. Harry's hands wrapped around his shoulders, holding them together while Severus's left hand splayed over his lower back and his right held onto the back of his neck.
"Severus?" He simply hummed in response, skimming his lips over Harry's neck. Try as he might, he couldn't resist the draw to Harry's pulse as he waited for Harry to continue. "Don't take the glamour potion tonight. I-I need to see you without it. Completely without it. I don't know why, I just do." Against his better judgment, Severus nodded and breathed Harry's scent in.
"Since I find I cannot deny you, you must be aware that it will change very little from what you seem to be seeing anyway. It'll be things you wouldn't consciously notice that will change. My scent, for example, will change. You must be sure you wish for that-it produces rather drastic responses from most humans and you seem to be incredibly affected already. I wouldn't want you to metaphorically throw yourself at me if that's not something you're willing to go through." Harry's head moved to his shoulder and he felt a gentle kiss being laid to his skin. It sent shivers down his back and flames from that spot to the rest of his body. He felt a low growl building in Severus's chest.
"Before you turn into a mess of instincts warring with proprietary concerns, I've been attracted to you since before your glamours started failing. When you started to come listen to me play. And I've always been fascinated by the way you move, the way you talk. I could never get enough. I might not have any clue about instincts and how vampirism works in general but I've liked you for quite some time. Why else would I take care to memorize all those classics? I only knew a handful when you first started coming to me. Most of what I played at the time was improvised." Severus could feel his heart sputter at the declaration that Harry had liked him before the looks started to make themselves known. He swallowed to hide his nervousness.
"I won't take the glamour tonight. It'll fade for a few hours until it's completely gone. If you at any point want me to take it, if it becomes too much, please tell me. It's effective almost immediately." Harry nodded and they stayed that way for a few hours, just relaxing against each other.
Harry tried to readjust himself to prevent his legs from falling asleep completely and Severus picked him up to lay him across his lap rather than straddling him. His head was cradled against the man's chest and his legs were curled up on Severus's. The soft rumbling against his cheek was the only thing tipping him off to the fact that Severus was talking.
"What was that?"
"I was asking you if you were alright. You've had your face buried in my chest for the longest time and you're clutching my shirt." Harry blushed and swallowed before putting his head back to listen to his heartbeat.
"You smell better than amortentia." Severus stiffened underneath him before relaxing once more.
"The glamours must be almost gone then."
The moment the glamours failed completely, Harry knew. He had been fighting the urge to whimper and nuzzle into the older man with every ounce of his being but he couldn't contain it any longer. Needy whimpers left his throat involuntarily and he felt an overwhelming sense of emptiness-it felt like he was just a hollow shell.
"Harry," Severus's voice washed over him like silk and he felt a small portion of the emptiness recede. "Relax, little one. I'm here." He felt his muscles loosen and leaned into the hand carding through his hair. He could stay like this forever. After what seemed like both a second and an eternity, Harry felt like he was on cloud nine. He was content to simply exist as long as those fingers continued their ministrations on his scalp. The feeling grew impossibly heady as another arm wrapped around him and pulled him closer to the spicy aroma of Severus.
He was vaguely aware of being shifted so his face rested in the crook of Severus's neck with Severus's lips trailing over his jaw.
"Is this too much Harry?" He almost couldn't make sense of the words, he was so lost in the feeling of being held.
"N-no, not enough..." The whimper leaving his throat cut his words off and he turned his head to kiss the neck beneath his lips. He practically came in his pants when he felt his lips against his own neck and keened.
"Relax pet, I am here. Are you well?" Harry nodded and lightly nipped at his neck once more.
His efforts were rewarded with a growl and sharp fangs against his skin. Deciding to place his trust in the man holding him, he relaxed and let a small moan escape.
It took several moments for Severus to gain control over his baser instincts. He wasn't sure Harry had truly known what he was getting into when he had insisted Severus neglect to take his glamour. Then again, he had only heard tales of what occurs when you are around your mate without any glamours or instinct suppressants. He had no idea it would affect him so strongly.
And the fact that it was none other than Harry bloody Potter. James would be rolling in his grave if he knew.
Putting all of that aside, he gently kissed the spot his fangs had been resting on and lifted his face to look at Harry properly.
The man in his lap took his breath away. His skin had lightened a bit from being inside to brew so frequently and his hair had grown out just enough to prevent it from sticking up every which way. His eyes had a depth few had, and were the deepest green with small flecks of gold here and there around the edges. Before either one of them knew what had happened, their lips connected.
Sparks of magic flew from their skin, causing Harry to gasp and separate them enough to ask what that had been. Severus gave him a warm smile and cupped his jaw.
"What do you know about vampires?" He waited long enough for Harry to struggle to answer and then shrug. "Should I take a glamour or can you focus?" Harry paused, clearly torn.
"Maybe half? I can sorta pay attention but it's hard." He nodded and took half of a glamour potion from the emergency vial kit he had in his front pocket. Suddenly, he felt himself regain some control over his baser urges although the need to hold Harry didn't ease.
"Vampires are creatures, first and foremost. There are things about us that we have to deal with that regular humans don't need to worry about. For example, it's difficult for a vampire to resist the urge to...eat, so to speak, when put under extreme stress. Humans can resist eating in times of stress, and most are put off by the thought of eating with so much turbulence in their emotions. Blood allows us to occupy our bodies while our minds are clouded until we can think clearly once more.
"Vampires have mates. While it's not the same notion as humans and their ideas of soulmates, vampires are creatures that take a mate and can't let go. The choice usually isn't there, it's more of an instinctual thing. The monster comes out to dictate our mate for us. Scientifically speaking, our bodily chemistry seeks out the person with the most potential to ensure we are completely balanced. It's...I'll admit, it's difficult to explain."
"Like Remus has his wolf. There's the man, Remus, that wouldn't have thought twice about getting together with anyone and there's the wolf that picked Tonks when it picked up her scent. Remus didn't really stand a chance, but they love each other and balance each other really well."
"It's a bit like that. Wolves tend to put reproduction compatibility before most anything else. Vampires don't have to reproduce sexually, we have a secondary way we can create more of us. Those of us who do mate are drawn by a few things. Scent being a big part of it. Your natural scent, your hormones if you will, has to appeal to us, as does the smell of your blood. Physical traits are a part of it as well, but generally it's not such a big thing as your scent. Mental stimulation is another large factor. Vampires have an easier time processing information, so it's rare for us to be mentally stimulated by humans. Your minds are always a step or two behind simply because of biology."
"Sev..."
"Come to think of it, I have been told it's similar to muggle drug addicts. Once you find the right combination, you simply can't resist."
"Sev..."
"Merlin, Harry you've no idea how good your voice sounds when you whisper like that."
"Sev!" He finally snapped out of his mind and saw Harry gazing at him with the most intense look he's ever been on the receiving end of.
"Yes?" His voice was barely a whisper of breath, and somehow Harry had heard him.
"Please shut up and mark me." Severus drew back, shock flooding his system just before intense arousal took its place. Despite Harry's protest, he downed the other half of his glamour potion before his instincts took over and felt his mind clear enough that he could get himself under control. Harry blinked a few times and shivered before pressing himself into Severus's chest further. The potion master grabbed a blanket and wrapped Harry up in it and held him close.
"I can't mark you Harry. Not now, your mind is muddled. I doubt you even know what that means. The words just slipped out, didn't it?" Harry nodded. "I don't want you to do anything you wouldn't wish. Especially as markings are permanent. Additionally, we would not be able to continue with your apprenticeship and I would be unable to continue working." Harry's eyes practically screamed questions at him from the depths of the thick blanket. "When Remus mated, how long did he need before he could come back around his friends? And even then, how long was it before he'd allow Tonks out of his immediate vicinity?"
"Come to think of it...I didn't see him for almost a year. I thought he was just busy working." Harry sighed contentedly as Severus tightened his hold on him.
"He wasn't working, he had claimed Tonks and they spent every waking moment together. Remus only needed a year to allow Tonks out of his sight while they were around other people; most werewolves need at least double that amount of time. And wolves are the quickest to finish the mating process, as they tend to live the shortest. Vampires live-essentially-indefinitely. Our 'inner monster' so to speak doesn't process time the same way. The shortest amount of time I've known a mating to last with vampires is five years. And he has just as much control over his mind and emotions as I do. Do you see what I'm trying to tell you?"
Harry shook his head in confusion.
"Harry, the moment you allow me to mark you then you and I will have to disappear from society for at least five years. I won't be able to stop touching you, you won't get a moment of privacy for a minimum of a year, possibly two. Yes, that includes the bathroom as well. And even then, I'll likely spend months listening at doors or only allowing you to be across the hall while I can still see you. When I'm finally able to take you into public, you'll have to stay right next to me or touch me in some way for at least another year before I'd even consider letting you cross the room to be with anyone that isn't me. I'm incredibly possessive, and that's without the monster within driving me to madness.
"You wanted to obtain a mastery in potions, and I plan on doing exactly that. Once you pass your mastery, then we can revisit this."
"But that will take years!"
"Yes, but you'll have plenty of time to acclimate your family into the idea and I'll be able to find someone suitable to take over my position temporarily while we are away. Or to even take it permanently. But you're looking at a minimum of five years where you won't be able to visit people. Hell, even the thought of you writing them a letter after I mark your pretty little neck..." He couldn't resist the urge to scrap his teeth along Harry's jaw.
"Possessive indeed," Harry's voice was breathy and Severus groaned before pulling his head away. "Alright, we'll do this your way. I-I can't say I'm happy about it but I am a bit relieved. I want to finish this mastery and I want to get to know you as well. It's a bit crazy how much your glamour helps me keep my head on straight."
"The lowered inhibitions didn't assist us in keeping our heads, either. To bed with you. Tomorrow we continue your studies after lunch. You can have a lie-in. I have a feeling you'll be happy about that in the morning."