Chapter 11:
Daddy ambled to the nursery, his arms wrapped around his baby's frail body. Even though Aaron was dangerously sleepy, he was able to keep his eyes open, wide and alert.
"Don't you want to sleep, baby?" Daddy said as he walked around the room, each step light and dainty. He bounced Aaron slightly as he swayed around, desperately wishing he'd actually fall asleep at one point. He hated drugging his baby, but he had no other choice if he'd refuse to cooperate. "Come on, love, close your eyes."
Aaron didn't want to sleep; he didn't want to give them the privilege of his absence. He tried not to think about it, but the fact that they could literally do anything to him in his sleep was terrifying. But he could pretend if it'd shut that psycho up.
Daddy patted his his baby's back multiple times, but that only made Aaron uncomfortable, half repressed whimpers tearing his throat even though he tried hard to stop himself. So Daddy stopped patting and just held him instead, disappointed that his baby was only getting more agitated, his body tensing conspicuously between his arms. He wanted him to relax as much as possible so that he could fall asleep on his own, but that turned out difficult.
"Oh baby, you've got to sleep," Daddy said. "Otherwise, I'll have to force you, and I really don't want to."
Aaron's head shot up at Daddy's threat, his heart pounding fast as speculations whirled around his mind. He quickly leant his head on Daddy's shoulder, pretending to succumb, but right then Mommy came into the room.
"Maybe he'll sleep if I read him a bedtime story," Mommy said, swaying the book in her hand with an ebullient flourish. Aaron groaned when he realized that he brought that to himself with his own hands. If he had just pretended to sleep faster, he wouldn't have put himself in the dread of Mommy reading him a story, much like an infant.
Daddy walked with his baby to the crib and placed him in, tucking him underneath the covers and forcing the pacifier to settle pointlessly between his teeth. Mommy sat on the rocking chair beside the crib and began reading the book.
Aaron didn't focus on the plot, or on what she was saying, but he was aware of how her mellow voice caressed his eardrums like velvet. He'd noticed since the beginning that she owned a distinctively calming voice, but now that its vibrations were the only things gracing the silence and creeping up to his ears, it became much more vivid-impossible not to notice.
Aaron couldn't help but watch the way her lips moved and words eased out through the small part, her tone so soft edged that it almost lulled him to sleep; each second became harder and harder for him to maintain himself awake. His eyelids occasionally dropped down, but then they would shoot open in alarm again, revealing along exhausted eyes that pleaded for just a minute of rest.
The bright lights dimmed down to a faint ray, and foreign knuckles brushed lightly across his cheek, stroking for a little longer before retreating. He felt like he was standing right at the edge of a cliff, wavering as he stared down at enticing darkness, a part of him wanting to be thrown down, and another fighting against it aimlessly. Just minutes later, his energy bar drained completely and exhaustion beat his will to stay awake, pulling him straight down into the pit of slumber.
Daddy sighed contently, fingers brushing through his own hair. "He must've been exhausted to sleep without a drug. If only Leo was so easy his first time."
*_*_*_*_*_*_*
Despite the discomfort of the pull-up rubbing against his thighs, Aaron ran as fast as he could, the rumply terrain scraping the bottom of his bare feet with each step. His chest was heaving, harsh and ragged gasps for air tearing his lungs apart as he breathed. There was a throbbing pain in his shins, a solid twinge that pounded and expanded potently, making him long for a pause, but he couldn't give in. At least not at that point.
He craned his neck and threw a quick glance over his shoulder, his nerves razor-edged and tense with terror, but then they settled slightly when he realized he'd lost the captors. His legs slowed down, speed gradually descending to a stop, his desire for a small break dominating. He pressed his back against a tree trunk and clutched his waist in pain as he inhaled sharply, a solid cramp in his ribcage rendering him breathless.
"Look, he's wearing a pull-up!" someone sneered. A bomb of derisive laughter exploded. Aaron whipped his head to the source of the voice, and his eyes widened with shock when they landed upon the small crowd of familiar people gathered, their faces scrunched, fingers pointed at him with ridicule. "Need it to have a wee, baby boy?"
Aaron gave his front a look then stared back at them. "No. You- you don't understand. I, I," he rambled, letters stumbling together helplessly. His face burnt a deep crimson color at the thought of how humiliating the situation was: his classmates staring at him with nothing but a pull-up on. He wanted to speak, but he didn't know how to muster a plausible explanation; they wouldn't believe him. All the situation he'd been through sounded so ridiculous and unbelievable.
"You worthless piece of shit," someone else said, this time from Aaron's other side. He turned around, shaky heart dropping at the presence of his father close behind, his teeth gritted, jaw clenched. He fisted his hand and swung it against Aaron's face, powerful knuckles coming in clash with his cheek. Aaron's vision rocked with pain as he tumbled back and he crumpled to the ground with a shocked gasp. "Look at you, so weak. You're nothing, Aaron, believe me. Nobody loves you. Nobody wants you. You're a disgrace. A mistake."
Aaron stared, eyes wide and glossy. It wasn't the first time his father had spoken to him like that, yet it was just as equally painful; strong and piercing as each word stabbed his heart. He thought that the pain his father brought to him had numbed over time, but with the intensity of the current situation, he felt a little more emotional than normal.
"Don't listen to them, baby. You're not worthless," Lou said, the familiar voice Aaron's only warning before he felt hands curl around his body and lift him up. Aaron thrashed as much as he could but dare not yell for help, at least not from the father that left him a broken branch or the classmates that were pointing and laughing, none ready to save him. "You're too good for them. Comparing you to anything is just an underestimation of your worth. They're idiots, baby, they're just idiots."
"Stop! Stop talking! Just leave me, please, I've- I've had enough," Aaron pleaded helplessly, his legs swinging back and forth in a futile attempt to break free of the iron grip he was caught in. Lou sat down with him, one hand cradling his head against his shoulder. Aaron sensed a faint rocking motion. But it was irrelevant. Especially when he was sure Lou wasn't moving. He looked around, eyes darting between the trees until his vision blurred, colors slurring together.
Aaron's head shot up with a gasp, wide and terrified eyes frantically skipping around. There were no trees, just four confining baby blue walls. He was in the nursery, he concluded, heart beats gradually slowing down again.
"Shh, baby, everything's alright," Lou whispered, gently pushing Aaron's head back against his shoulder. Shut the hell up, Aaron thought. Nothing was alright. Everything was far from right, scattered around and misplaced disturbingly. He sensed the rocking motion again and it was then that he realized he was in the rocking chair, sitting with his chest against Lou's, his slim legs dangling down either side of his lap. "You're safe with us, trust me."
Lou kept rocking the chair, one hand patting his back gently. He cringed when he felt Aaron's protruding shoulder blades under his palm, but that only added to his desire to protect his baby. His heart beat through flames as he thought of how poorly Aaron had been fed back home.
Aaron tried hard, but not too long after, he fell for the trap and winded up in unwanted sleep. Lou brought him over to the crib, tucked him in and gave him the pacifier. He turned around, his lips pulled into a taut line until he noticed Daddy at the door. "He was having a nightmare," he said, sighing. "Again. I just... he kept mumbling that he's worthless. And he said leave me, and... I don't know, I hate to think that he's so scared of us."
"Don't worry, Lou. He just thinks we want to hurt him. When he realizes we love him more than anyone else could, he'll love us back. I'm sure."
Lou nodded, then walked out of the room, carefully closing the door behind, eyes lastly assessing Aaron. When, he wondered, was his baby going to realize that they would do anything to see him smile?
*_*_*_*_*_*
The sunlight struck Aaron's face with soft morning rays. He blinked sleepily as he turned away from the light, nuzzling against the warmth of his pillow. He wouldn't confess it, but his pillow and mattress were just too comfortable. He'd never had such a privilege before, so it felt foreign, but definitely not worth the confinement and abnormal treatment.
Spitting the pacifier out, Aaron turned on his back and stared at the ceiling, his mind carefully calculating the surreal situation. It was only his second day, yet it felt like it had been a lifetime. A forlorn thought suddenly caught up with him and it was only then that he finally wondered what his father must be doing-nothing probably, he thought, snorting bitterly. He must be happy even.
When the door inched open, Aaron craned his neck and glanced at it. Daddy walked in. It couldn't be a coincidence that he always came in only when he'd wake up.
"Good morning baby," Daddy said as he bent over the crib's railing, watching fondly as his baby shifted his position, black hair splayed out on the pillow. He latched his fingers around Aaron's underarms and lifted him until he straddled his hip, one sturdy arm supporting his weight. "Did you sleep well?"
Aaron glanced at the mittens over his hands then stared at Daddy. "Can you remove the mittens?" he asked, giving the captor a sad look with eyes that were wide and imploring. He could have removed them on his own, but he didn't want to infuriate anyone. Maybe if he behaved right, Daddy would be a little more responsive.
Daddy tutted, shaking his head. "No, love. Mommy told me what happened yesterday. I can't-"
"Please, Daddy."
Deafening silence hung in the air for the next few seconds, but Aaron could hear the distinct sound of his dignity shattering through his ear, broken shards going everywhere.
Daddy was flabbergasted, shocked eyes gaping at his baby. He didn't expect Aaron to call him Daddy so soon, but he loved it nonetheless. Please, Daddy. The way he spoke was just so sweet, so adorable, and it had his heart fluttering, bumping into his ribs blindly. His ears longed to hear it again, to savor his baby's beautiful voice calling him.
Daddy also wanted to decline, but he physically couldn't say no to him. He swallowed past the lump burning in his throat and spoke composedly, his voice free of the emotions brewing inside, "Alright love. I'll remove them because you used your manners and didn't remove them yourself." Daddy one-handedly pulled the mittens off and hung them over the railing of the crib.
Aaron sensed how using Daddy pleased him, and it was then that he wondered if Leo acted the way he did because he knew how it affected the captors' behavior. Perhaps he was playing a game on them, and perhaps not, but regardlessly, that was the smartest thing to do.
Aaron decided to play his cards right, so he gathered his guts and braced himself for the next line. "Thank you."
"Oh, somebody's in a good mood today," Daddy said as he brought Aaron's hand to his face and nuzzled against the warmth of his soft palm, pecking it. "You're welcome, baby. You don't know how much Daddy loves it when you use your manners."
Daddy took Aaron downstairs to the kitchen and set him in his highchair, turning to help Mommy prepare the food afterwards.
"Aar," Leo mumbled, his hand reaching out into the short distance between the two high chairs, pearly teeth shone through his wide smile. For a split second, Aaron wondered why he didn't complete pronouncing his name, but then he quickly realized that he'd chosen a nickname for him. He smiled slightly at that, stretching his arm out for a quick high-five as he wondered how Leo could be so lively.
"Hey," Aaron whispered, but he was distracted when Lou came in, a towel hanging around his sweaty neck and shirtless, his six pack fully on display and the slants of the masculine V shape leading to his hips strongly defined. He wasn't hysterically muscular; he was lean, but he had noticeably sturdy arms and shoulders. Aaron now perfectly understood how Lou could hold him and Leo all the time, but one question lingered in his mind; did he actually work out just so he could carry them around?
"I need to go for a real quick shower, but I can't not see my baby first," Lou said, leaning down to kiss the top of Aaron's head. He couldn't help but smile at how sleepy he looked: hair messy, face pale with morning lag, and large grey eyes blinking lazily, their intensity shadowed with a sleepy hue. Lou's fingers combed through Aaron's black locks, taming any wild strands along. "Look at this hair, and those beautiful eyes. You've got so much magic, love, I just wish you can see it."
Lou tapped Aaron's nose, smiled, then turned and went for his shower. Aaron didn't feel even remotely shaken by his words. Regardless of how uplifting they were and how genuine they sounded, his mind refused to believe them-partly because that man was a goddamn psycho, and partly because he grew up learning to hate himself. He propped his elbows against the tray and sighed tiredly, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. Five more minutes of sleep, that was all he wanted, but then he mentally slapped himself at the thought. Not the time for that.
Daddy brought some cereal and a sippy cup filled with water to Aaron's tray, then sat beside him. "Here, love," he said as he brought the spoonful to his mouth, and Aaron accepted it, almost, almost humming contently at the taste of the honey-flavored cereal. Daddy fed him, making sure he drank his water as well, and the breakfast seemed to be going well and peacefully.
But that was until one word broke everything.
Both boys were almost done eating when Leo grimaced, barely opening his mouth wide enough for the spoon to fit in, the movement of his jaw slow with reluctance. "Can't, Mommy. Full," he said, bottom lip protruding in a sulky pout. Mommy tutted and brought the spoon back to his mouth, but he whined, a hand on his stomach as he turned away, twisting his upper body as far as possible. "Stomach hurts. Don't want to eat, Mommy. Wanna play with Aar."
Mommy smiled at his tactics. "I don't think it hurts, Leo. I think that's just you wanting to skip breakfast. Finish the cereal and then you'll play with him as much as you want."
"No. I want to play now!"
"Watch the attitude, mister," Mommy warned, frowning. "Now come on, finish, otherwise you're going for a time out, and you won't be able to play with Aaron at all that way."
"Mommy," Leo whined helplessly, but she only reassured the fact that he'd be planting himself in the naughty corner with any more disobedience, and convicted him of throwing a morning tantrum. He listened to the accuses with a childish frown, then folded his arms defiantly, huffing. "Bullshit."
The word hung heavily in the middle of the silence, a lot longer than it should have. It seemed like everyone stopped moving. All attention was suddenly directed at Leo. The tension rocketed, and it had Aaron's heart racing as he watched Daddy: he was staring at Leo through a stern, disappointed frown.
"Was that a bad word, Leo? Did you just say a bad word?" Daddy asked, moving to Leo's highchair, gripping the armrests and leaning forwards. Leo, much to Aaron's surprise, didn't look scared-he appeared slightly disappointed with himself, or sad even, but definitely not frightened. Blue eyes remained fixated to the tray, thick lashes casting shadows over his cheekbones, not a single word of defense slipping through his small lips. Daddy drummed his fingers against the plastic impatiently. Leo finally nodded. "Use your words, love."
Leo finally looked up at Daddy, his eyes wide and apologetic. "Sorry, Daddy?"
"Is that enough?"
"Timeout, too?"
"No, Leo. You know the rules very well, and you know saying a bad word is really bad. And you were also throwing a tantrum there, weren't you? You deserve a bigger punishment, don't you think?" Daddy stared at him expectantly, and Leo nodded again-not an ounce of fear noticeable in his eyes, instead, guilt and some form of unexplainable sadness. How could he not be panicking? Aaron assumed he was used to it.
Daddy sighed, his tense shoulders slumping as he looked back at Aaron. "Aaron, baby, this is why I didn't want you saying a bad word, because Leo likes to repeat everything he hears, even though I'm sure he knows it's wrong."
"Then it's my fault," Aaron said, shifting tensely in his seat. He didn't want them to punish Leo, because as far as he'd seen, and regardless of what was wrong with him, he seemed to Aaron too fragile to handle a punishment right then. He'd much rather take it for him. "I said the bad word, and he just repeated it. Punish me, not him."
"But I punished you for it, remember? Aaron, I think it's really nice of you to care about your brother, but this naughty boy has to learn. We don't want him getting a potty mouth again."
After unhinging the tray and removing the straps, Daddy picked Leo out of the chair.
"No! He doesn't know better, you can't punish him. Punish me instead, please. He doesn't deserve it," Aaron said, eyes widening when Daddy walked towards the door, unfazed by the speech he'd just given. Aaron found himself growing helpless, so he reached out to Leo from his chair and grabbed his wrist, hindering Daddy along. "What are you gonna do to him? Spank him? Please don't."
"No love. Not a spanking. He knows what very well."
Shit, Aaron thought. Now, he actually wished they would spank him. As humiliating as it was, he'd at least be sure Leo wasn't being abused in some other more painful way.
Daddy turned and continued his way out, breaking the boys' hands from each other. Aaron's arm dangled down the edge of the chair helplessly and his shoulders slumped with disappointment. Leo gave him a small sad smile just before the two went out of sight. It broke Aaron's heart, Leo's level of composure. For a person who had full-on sobbed just because of a rejected cuddle, Aaron had expected quite a loud reaction. Leo must have been trying to hide it. But why?
"No! Please! You can't do this! He doesn't deserve it. It's all my fault," Aaron yelled, but his voice cracked when he realized that it really was his fault. He had just caused that poor boy a horrid punishment, and there was nothing he could do about it. If only he hadn't said that word.
Lou came in, face crumpled with worry at all the sudden noises. Aaron straightened in his seat again and desperately looked at him, hoping that he'd at least be responsive. "What's he going to do to him? Please go make sure he doesn't hurt him too much."
It took a second for the situation to click in for Lou, and when it did, he couldn't help but smile. Already worrying about Leo and it'd only been a day since they'd met.
"Never, love, never," Lou said, his voice strong and firm yet soft in its core, like what he was saying was significant, but not threatening. He held the side of Aaron's neck, his thumb supporting his chin and angling his face towards him. They shared a look, one filled with what appeared to be genuine emotion and free of demanding sharpness, but Aaron didn't let himself fall for it. Captors weren't nice people, especially ones who forced teens to act like babies. They were deceivers, sociopaths. Admittedly, he felt a little less threatened with Lou than with Daddy-because he was a lot less stern-but that didn't mean he completely trusted him.
"We'd never hurt you or Leo. We'd rather die than let anyone hurt you ever again. You don't realize it, but we'd do anything to protect you."
Aaron felt something foreign overwhelm his heart-something he couldn't quite explain. As much as he tried to deny it, a tiny, barely existent part of him actually wanted that kind of protection, longed for someone to love him, to accept him, but then he quickly dismissed it all, because at that moment, something was much more important than him and his conflicting feelings.
Leo. Leo was much more important.
"Maybe you wouldn't hurt him," Aaron mumbled. "But your brother would."
*_*_*_*_*
hi, thank you for reading!! <3
Note about Aaron's nickname: english isn't my first language. When i wrote this book I thought Aaron was pronounced with more an "Ah" sound than an "Eh" , hence the nickname Aar sounding in my head a bit like Ahr (or like the letter R basically). You can pronounce it the way you want/whichever way you feel is right!! Really sorry about this mistake and any confusion it caused :(