this is how it is
this is how it was supposed to be, or maybe
maybe it's just how it all turned out
because you didn't want this, did you?
when shifting into first gear
bright laughter
the rumble of the matchinery working,
so you can move faster
your heart pumping the fuel
thick blood black like coal
this isn't what you wanted
was it what you deserved, do you think?
or is there still something you feel deserving of?
tears leaving the skin of your face
sparkling like water in the sun of the red lights
just your heart, working, so the vehicle can move
with your whole life sitting in the backseat
this is what you got
all you have left really, isn't it?
you stopped thinking of taking a U-turn
do you think it's too late now?
the tears licked off your neck
him laughing, saying they taste like smirnoff
he would probably like you better if you were a bottle of vodka
would you want him to?
is this what you want
or do you just need someone to tell you what you are
even if it won't mean anything when you get home tomorrow
will it ever mean something?
or are you just wasting fuel
going up another gear
so you can get faster to the end of all this
you pressing the back of your hands to your coal eyes
pushing, wishing that the pressure will keep the waves at bay
the dimonds still keep falling out
all the people that made you weep
millionares
you could never hold the dimonds in
don't give them away
don't give yourself away
or is this how life works
taking from the poor and giving to the rich