I was planning on one update today, but why the hell not do two?
This episode offers some important detail. Hence the........
v
(Slight trigger warning.)
I paced across the floor of Derek's loft. He hadn't shown up for our little run through the woods, which worried me. He always showed up.
Cora stared at me as I paced. "Ella, relax. I'm sure he's just busy."
I stopped and stared at her. "Cora, you don't believe that; do you?"
"I-"
"Cora, come on. I can handle the truth."
She sighed. "No. I don't. What are you feeling?"
"Honestly, I don't really know. I don't feel in pain, which I suppose is a good thing. I think I'm just worried about him."
"You and me both, Ella. But I'm sure he'll come back soon. He always does. He wouldn't leave his mate. You know that."
I frowned. "Someone's here. What the hell is he doing here?"
Cora opened the door to reveal Stiles and he said, "Okay, so where's Derek?"
"We don't know," Cora replied. "He's been missing for two days. They were there for two days, waiting, hiding. That's what we're taught to do when the hunters find us... hide and heal."
I sighed. "Evan's with him, too. I think. I haven't heard anything from him, either. My dad's a little worried."
Stiles frowned. "Okay, so is two days standard, then, or are we thinking Derek's on, like, some extended getaway?"
"Why do you care?" Cora shot back, earning a look from me.
"Why do I care? Let's see... Because over the last few weeks, my best friends tried to kill themselves. His boss nearly got ritually sacrificed. A girl that Ella and I've known since we were three was ritually sacrificed. Boyd was killed by alphas. I... Do you want me to keep going? 'Cause I can, all right? For, like, an hour."
I held a hand up. "We get it, Stiles."
"You think Derek can do anything about that?" Cora questioned.
"Well, since he's the one everyone seems to be after, it's more like he should do something about it, yeah," Stiles replied.
"I don't know. There's something different about him now. And it's not just Eliana being in his life. He wasn't like this when we knew him."
"What was he like?"
"A lot like Scott, actually," Peter said, walking down the spiral staircase. "A lot like most teenagers... Unbearably romantic, profoundly narcissistic, tolerable really only to other teenagers."
"And so what happened? What changed him?"
"Well, the same thing that changes a lot of young men... A girl."
"You're telling me some girl broke his little heart? That's why Derek is the way he is? Ella, stop giving me a dirty look."
"Do you remember Derek before he was an Alpha had blue eyes? Do you know why some wolves have blue eyes?"
"I just always thought it was, like, a genetic thing. I mean, Ella's got blue eyes."
"If you want to know what changed Derek, you need to know what changed the color of his eyes, and of your friend's."
Peter launched into a story about a younger Derek and a girl named Paige Krasikeva.
I remembered hearing a little about her from Evan.
Stiles frowned. "Okay, so if Derek was a sophomore back then, how old was he? How old is were you? How old are you now?"
"Not as young as we could have been, but not as old as you might think," Peter replied.
"Okay, that was frustratingly vague." He turned to me. "You're almost 17, right?"
I nodded. "Just turned. Sure, if you wanna make it easy."
He sighed and turned to Cora. "How old are you?"
"I'm 17," Cora replied.
"See, those are answers. That's how we answer people."
"Well, 17 how you'd measure in years."
Stiles looked between me and Cora. "All right, I'm just gonna drop it. What happened to Derek and the cello girl?"
"Paige," I reminded Stiles.
Peter frowned. "What do you think happened? They were teenagers. One minute, it's, "I hate you, don't talk to me." The next, it's frantic groping in any dark corner they could manage to find themselves alone for five minutes. Their favorite dark corner was an abandoned distillery outside of Beacon Hills."
Stiles stopped Peter. "All right, hold up. How do you know all this? You just said that they were alone."
"Back then, I wasn't just Derek's uncle. I was his best friend, his closest confidante. That's how I know."
Peter explained the spiral he'd found. "Our mark for vendetta."
"Man, you guys really take that revenge to, like, a whole new level, don't you?" Stiles questioned. "I mean, Ella was drawing that when she was dealing with her mom."
I kicked Stiles' leg under the table and he glared at me.
Cora shook her head. "It's not just revenge. Losing a member of your pack isn't like losing family. It's like you lose a limb."
"What about if a mate lost their, uh, mate?"
I looked up at him. "Eventually they'd die. Usually the cause is that of a broken heart."
Peter nodded. "They wouldn't even let him see the body."
Cora frowned. "I don't get it. What does this have to do with Derek?"
"Everything. It's never just a single moment. It's a confluence of events. Personally, I looked at Ennis' circumstances, I saw a profound loss. Derek saw something different. He saw opportunity."
"Opportunity?" Stiles repeated. "Opportunity to do what?"
"To always be with her."
He launched back into the story before saying, "The thing was, he had this constant fear. He was obsessing over it, thinking about it all night, all day, always on his mind. Why does she eat alone? Before you ask, Stiles, Derek obviously didn't know Eliana. The mate connection doesn't ignite until both have reached the age of 16."
Cora turned to Stiles. "They keep us connected to humanity. But they're a secret even in the pack. Sometimes only the Alpha knows who the emissary is. Derek, Ella, Evan and I had no idea about Deaton. Oh. Before Lucille became an Alpha, she was part of the Hale pack."
"And now she's part of the Alpha pack," I muttered.
"Or his sister, Morrell."
"She's an emissary too?" Stiles questioned. "Ella, your mom's part of the Alpha pack? When were you gonna tell me that?"
"Whenever it came up, I guess. So yeah, that's the news."
Peter frowned before continuing. "For the Alpha pack."
"Our guidance counselor? Why the hell don't you people tell me any of this stuff, huh? I shared some really intimate details with her, and I suspect Ella did too."
I shook my head. "I did, but I doubt she revealed anything. As a licensed guidance counselor, she's under orders to keep quiet about her patient files."
"And did she give you two good advice?"
"Actually, yeah," Stiles admitted.
I shrugged. "I sort of walked out on her. I mean, yeah she gave advice, but I kind of brushed her off."
"That's what they do," Peter said. "That's what Deaton used to do for Talia."
Peter resumed the story and Cora frowned. "Ennis? Why would he choose him?"
"Why not?" Peter answered. "Ennis needed a new member for his pack. Paige was young and strong. Doing a favor for Derek meant Ennis would be in good with Talia. Back then, everybody wanted to be in good with her."
"He doesn't remember it was Ennis, does he?" Stiles asked.
"If he does, he keeps it to himself."
"So then what happened to her? Did he turn her?"
"Almost. He came at Ennis. A 15-year-old boy against a giant. There was no reason for him to fight. She'd already been bitten."
"So did she turn?" I asked curiously.
Peter met my eyes. "She should have. Most of the time, the bite takes. Most of the time."
Stiles' brow furrowed in thought. "When you offered it to me, you said, "if it doesn't kill you." Oh, Ella, that happened the night of the Winter Formal, the night Lydia got bit."
I nodded and Peter repeated, "If."
Peter paused a moment. "He knew the answer, though. It didn't matter that she was young and strong. Some people just aren't made for this. But she fought. She struggled desperately, trying to survive."
Peter explained that Paige didn't make it and said, "I remember taking her body from his arms, to the woods, to a place where I knew that it would be found... another in a long line of Beacon Hills animal attacks."
"And what about Derek?" Cora questioned.
"Taking an innocent life takes... Something from you as well, a bit of your soul... darkening it, dimming the once brilliant, golden yellow to a cold, steel blue... like mine. Sometimes called an icy blue... Like Eliana's."
Cora turned to me. "How come your wolf eyes are blue, Ella?"
I bit my lip. "It's a death to myself. I nearly ended everything during my freshman year. I'd gotten to a really low point in my life, and saw no way out. So I tried to end it. Stiles saved me. Next I knew, my wolf eyes were blue, no longer yellow. It's a rare thing to happen, and I guess I'm one of the few it happened to."
Cora silently pulled me into a hug as Peter left the loft.
After several minutes, we sat down and Cora looked at Stiles. "What? What's this... what's this look on your face?"
"What look?" Stiles asked innocently.
"The kind of look that makes me want to punch you."
"Oh, my God. You are so Derek's sister. I forgot."
"Well, what is with the look?"
Stiles glanced at me and I said, "Answer her. I'm curious as well."
Stiles shook his head. "I just don't believe him. All right, in Ms. Blake's class, we're reading Heart of Darkness, and it's in first person, right? Narrated by Marlow. The thing is that he's... he's an unreliable narrator. You know the details of it have changed, you know, just because of his perspective."
"Well, then we heard the story from Peter's perspective," Cora said.
I glanced at her. "Exactly. And I suspect we're missing the middle."
Stiles nodded. "Like she kind of said, I don't think we got the whole story."
Cora frowned. "So, what, are... Are you just gonna ask Derek about the girl he fell in love with and then killed?"
"If I have to... Yeah."
"Uh, no, no, Stiles," I told him. "Don't do that. If Derek hasn't even told me, it's incredibly private and I don't think he'd like to dwell on it."
After Stiles left, Cora turned to me. "How did you get your blue eyes? Who did you kill?"
I shook my head. "No one. I did almost kill myself."
"I'd like to know. If you're okay sharing."
"Uh, yeah. Sure."
Trigger warning
MID-FRESHMAN YEAR - WINTER BREAK
I was busy tuning my guitar. It'd been a bit since I'd played, and it needed some serious tuning before I could play.
There was a banging on my door and I froze, knowing exactly who it was.
"Eliana, get your ass out here!" My mother yelled. "Don't make me come in there."
Lately, I'd resorted to locking my door because I was always afraid she'd come in and hurt me.
Last week, I told Dad and Sheriff Stilinski what had happened. She had beat me until I had a black eye and my white shirt had turned crimson.
Unfortunately, by the time I'd told them, the wounds had healed and I couldn't prove anything. Sometimes it sucks being a werewolf.
My door broke open and my mother smirked, showing her red eyes.
In return, I glowed my yellow ones. "Try it, mother."
"I'm stronger than you, sweetie. You know that."
"Yeah, but I'm smaller and faster," I retorted, earning a scratch on the cheek.
"What have I said about talking back?"
"To... not do it?"
"Smart girl. Now. What do you have to say for yourself regarding the state of the house?"
"I'm not your Cinderella. You own the house. You can clean, too."
"I have a life, Eliana."
"So do I! It's called school, homework, friends."
"It's summer. You have no school or homework, meaning you have time to clean."
"Sure. When you clean, too. Haven't you ever heard of teamwork?"
"You little bitch," she spat as her claws descended.
I drew my claws and fangs as well and lunged at her. She threw me into the counter and held me down with a hand to my neck.
"How could you leave him alone, Eliana?! It's your fault he's dead!"
"I was ten! Four years later you're still angry?!"
"I wish it was you that was in that house you worthless little bitch. Now, get cleaning. I expect this house to be spotless when I get home."
She left and I started cleaning as her words resonated in my mind.
Worthless. Bitch. My fault. Wished I was dead.
It all got to be too much.
I made my way upstairs and locked the bathroom door. I pulled out pills from my wisdom teeth surgery. OxyContin. I'd had to get them out early since they were starting to grow in crooked. Of course, I'd never used the pills.
I unscrewed the cap and poured nearly a palm full of pills in my hand. I poured a glass of water from the cup on the sink.
The fact that it would soon be over washed over me, calming me. It was an oddly beautiful sensation. So... freeing.
Stiles' POV:
I stared at my phone. I'd texted Ella asking if she wanted to hang out, but she hadn't responded, which was weird for her. She usually responded in a timely fashion. Usually within a half hour. It'd been two, which made me figure something was off.
I decided to do some sleuthing and went to go see what the holdup was.
As soon as I pulled up to Ella's house, I got a weird feeling that something was wrong. I didn't know how or why. Maybe it was the fact that Ella had been more sullen than usual. Her bruises and cuts had become more and more frequent. She'd always been more of the quiet type, but she'd almost fallen silent. She was more sensitive, so Scott, Lydia and I were more careful about what we said.
I ran inside and up to Ella's room. Her bathroom door was locked, which concerned me.
Using all my strength, I kicked open the door and saw her putting pills to her mouth.
Instantly, I swatted the pills from her hand and she glared at me. "What the hell?!"
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Finally going to be at peace." She dropped to her knees and started picking up the pills.
I kicked them away and she started hitting me. It hurt. A lot. But I braved the pain. I had to help my friend.
"No! Let me die!" She screamed before putting some of the pills into her mouth.
I forced her mouth open and forced her to spit them out.
Ella collapsed to the floor and brought her legs to her chest.
I sat in front of her and asked gently, "What'd she do this time?"
She glanced up at me. "Can you sit next to me?"
"Uh, oh. Yeah. Sure." I moved next to her and she rested her head on my shoulder.
She sighed. "She blamed me for Evan's death, said I should've died in that house fire. Not him. She called me worthless. After beating me. Why'd you come, Stiles?"
I pulled her tighter. "Because I was worried about you, Ella. We've all noticed that something's wrong. We just want to help."
"I don't need it."
"Yeah you do, Eliana. You were about to take your own life."
A tear slid down her cheek and she whispered, "Thank you, Stiles. You saved my life."
"And I'd do it again and again. Ella, you're one of my best friends. I can't lose you, okay?"
She sniffled. "Okay. Can you stay for a bit? Just until I calm down?"
"Yeah. You shouldn't be alone right now. Hey, maybe you should stay with one of us for a while. This house isn't a good place for you."
"Our dads haven't been able to do anything, Stiles."
"Frankly, I don't understand why. But I promise they will. It might take awhile, but they'll be able to do something. Your mom will be put where she belongs."
"You promise?"
"I can't really promise that, but karma usually comes to those who deserve it."
She giggled softly. "Yeah. It does."
Eliana's POV: ONE WEEK LATER
I stared in the mirror in Lydia's bathroom.
I flicked my werewolf eyes. Steel blue. "What the hell?" I muttered.
"Ella, are you almost finished?" Lydia asked from the other side. "It takes effort to look as good as I do, and I need time to get ready."
"Yeah, almost done!"
I frowned. As far as I recalled, I hadn't killed myself. I recalled something I'd heard; don't remember where. A werewolf who attempts death unto themselves changes. Their eyes turn blue. Just like when killing an innocent person.
It all made sense. I was an innocent who'd nearly taken her own life. It was the death of my innocence that had caused my wolf eyes to turn from golden yellow to steel blue. Frankly, I liked the blue better anyway.
End of trigger warning.
Cora's arms wrapped around me and she said, "I'm glad he stopped you."
I smiled, leaning into her hug. "Yeah, me too."