I feel so drowsy and… drunk.
Did I drink? I don't remember. I remember drinking coke or maybe I took one drink. No, no, I did not. Ughh, it's all so confusing.
I try to stand up from the couch, but my body doesn't react. Am I paralyzed? Why do I feel so nauseous? Yeah, I definitely feel nauseous.
I look around me and sure enough, I'm still at the party. People are dancing, laughing, and shooting the shit, the party is in the full swing. I try to stand up again, but I can't. Why can't I stand up? Ughhh it's so frustrating.
Is that Ana who's making out with the bartender? I try to focus on the blurry bodies in front of me. No, no, I must be hallucinating.
"Anaaaaaaaaaaa!" I try to call her, but hardly any sound comes out of my mouth. Oh, why the hell am I slurring?
I think about how my body is reacting. You do not feel drowsy, drunk, and nauseous by drinking some coke and I know that I didn't drink an ounce of alcohol. It takes some time, but slowly the reality starts sinking in. We've been told about these symptoms in school, in some special awareness classes that were conducted for women.
My drink had been spiked. I know it now. I'm not naive, I can feel it in my gut. My eyes blur, as the feeling of dread settles in the pit of my stomach. My brain telling my gut to collapse.
I frantically move my eyes around the living room, trying to find Ana, but I do not see her anywhere. I close my eyes, trying to gain consciousness when I feel someone's presence beside me. I open my eyes and turn my head to find none other than Will Levi beside me.
I breathe a sigh of relief. He's here, he'll help me. I'll tell him that someone-- no the bartender spiked my drink. He'll take care of me.
"Where were you? I've been trying to find you for hours." Ahh, there goes my slurring again.
He grins at me which doesn't look like a nice grin though as it looks pretty evil.
"I am slurring and I didn’t consume alcohol. And- and I can't even move. Look I'm paralyzed. I think someone spiked my drink." I speak, or I try to speak, but I don't think any sound came out of my mouth.
He grins again and looks at me with satisfaction in his eyes.
"Don't worry, love. Come with me, I'll take care of you." He says, picking me up and carrying me in his arms, bridal style and I sigh. It feels good to be in his arms.
"I want to go home. I don't feel good." I try and say, but it all comes out as gibberish. I rest my head on Will's shoulder as my eyes drop closed, unable to keep them open anymore and soon I'm drifting off into dreamland, where Will and I elope to Vegas.
*****
I open my eyes and feel myself lying on the floor. Looking around the darkroom, I try to figure out where I am as the lights are off and I can't make out anything. I still feel nauseous, like I will throw up anytime. I try to get up, I try to move, but I can't.
I then feel someone's hands slowly caressing my thighs. Their hands slowly reach the hem of my shorts and start unbuttoning them. A surge of fear wells up inside of me as I drop my eyes to my feet, quickly looking down to see who's touching me down there. But moving my eyes so quickly makes my head so fuzzy and blurs everything in front of me.
My whole body tenses and then starts shaking uncontrollably.
"Easy now," he says in a gentle voice as he pushes down on my arm to stop me from shaking. "I'll be gentle, I promise. You're going to love it."
I hear the sound of music and voices of people laughing from the outside of the room. Party noises. As memories of the night come flooding back of Will's party, my drink being spiked, and then of Will carrying me in his arms.
I take a deep breath and try to identify the person again who's looking at me with a nasty look in his eyes. It takes me some time to figure out who the person is, but when I do, I start shaking wildly again.
It's Will.
What is he doing? Why is he looking at me like that? And why is he taking my shorts off? He was supposed to take care of me.
I try to speak, I open my mouth but nothing comes out of it. I look at him, and there is pure evil in his eyes. I want to plead, I want to scream, but my body refuses to listen to me. I know what is going to happen to me. I've heard enough about cases like that and I'm not naive, but I never dreamed something like that would ever happen to me.
I try to move, try to fight, but there's no use since I can't move a damn finger.
Ice-cold, pale blue eyes laugh at me. Thin blond hair so colorless it’s almost white. Skin almost as ghostlike. He smirks at me, with a knowing look in his eyes.
Soon, I feel something slam inside my vagina as pain shoots throughout my body. It hurts, it hurts like hell. I can't endure this pain. I try to scream, but something is shoved inside my mouth and I think it's my panties.
Whenever a person is in a dangerous situation, the human body's autonomic nervous system gives it three options in traumatic situations: fight, flight, or freeze.
Fight or flight is totally out of the question for me, since my body has shut down and is not reacting to any signs.
When fight and flight fails and danger is still present, the autonomic nervous system sends a signal to the brain that death is imminent and the body begins to prepare itself, releasing a powerful natural analgesic and essentially cutting off signals from all major nerve endings.
This part of the process is called "freeze".
The only option I have is to freeze. Freeze and survive. Survive whatever is thrown at me so I can just get over this nightmare. I'm sure this is just a bad dream and I'll wake up in the morning. My mom will be in the kitchen with a cup of coffee in one hand and the newspaper in the other. I just have to get through this night and this bad dream.
I know I have to do whatever it takes to survive. So at that moment, I stop fighting with my own body and just try to survive.
I stay still with tears welling in my eyes as I see the body above me moving at a rapid pace. It doesn't hurt, anymore though. I don't feel anything, no pain, nothing. All I feel is numbness and I welcome it with open arms.
It feels like I'm outside my body, looking down at myself and numbly thinking about my poor decisions that led me here. Mom had told me to stay home, she had told me I'm not mature enough to handle the party and I just wish I had listened to her.
I just want to get home to my mom, I just want to see her again. Right now, I'll do anything to see her face again, even if that means enduring this disaster.
I close my eyes and start thinking about my mother and different ways to commit suicide once this is over and it doesn't take much time for darkness to envelope me.
*****
I become attentive as someone opens the door and slips inside. It's been about an hour or two since I became aware of my surroundings? When I woke up, he wasn't here anymore. I was left lying in the same position as before. Is he back? I think fearfully as the room is still dark, so I can't figure out who has entered.
Someone turns on the light and white flashes in front of my eyes, blinding me for a few seconds. I still can't move, so I keep lying still on the floor.
As my eyes adjust to the lights, I feel someone trying to slip my shorts back on me. I look down and freeze when I see it's Ana. I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to shake her bloody body and ask where the fuck she was? Why didn't she come and find me? If she would've found me a bit sooner, this all might've not happened. She was supposed to stay with me, like I've stayed with her in every situation, no matter what.
I try to catch her eye, but she never looks at me. She has this cold look on her face and she's deathly silent. I look down at myself and see that I’m covered in blood, semen, and bruises. I don't remember anything after everything went black.
Soon, I'm lifted by Ana as she supports my body and drags me out of the room. Is she taking me home? Will I be able to see my mom again? And what will I say? That even after you strictly refused, I snuck out and went to that party? That you were right, I'm not old enough to take care of myself? Or that I'm ashamed of my own body? I don't want this body or I don't want this life anymore? That I'm not as strong as you and I just want to die?
I push all these thoughts to the back of my mind and take in my surroundings. The house is deathly still, the party is over and I'm being dragged outside by Ana.
Soon we reach her car and she dumps me in the backseat of her car, before getting behind the wheel and starting driving.
She still isn't speaking to me. Why isn't she saying anything? Why isn't she crying or screaming or doing anything?
She doesn't utter a word and I don't try to speak either.
I try to think about everything that happened to me today. I feel sick to my stomach over what he did to me. I feel so ashamed. How could I let anything like that happen to me? I can still feel his hands all over me. I can still hear his moans and grunts.
My heart beats wildly as fear takes over, scared for what was going to happen next. I am scared to face my mom, but mostly I felt hate, for myself. Hate for being so weak and letting something like that happen to me.
Soon the car comes to a halt and I feel my body being lifted and carried out of the car by Ana. She drags me to the porch and quickly drops me on the floor. My head hits the stairwell in the process and terrible pain shoots inside my head instantly making everything blur once again.
The last thing I hear is her ringing the doorbell continuously for about five to seven times, before scurrying off back to her car and speeding away.
*****
I wipe the tears that escaped my eyes while narrating the truth of my life to Kyle.
"Everything went downhill from there. I became the outcas--"
"I know," I hear him say in a very small voice. "I know everything."
It was my turn to look at him with wide eyes now.
"H-how?" I stutter.
"I'm Will's cousin." He whispers.
Helloooo! I hope y'all like this chapter, I worked so hard for this one, and idk just let me know if I lived up to your expectations.
Don't forget to vote and share your thoughts.
TEASER ~ someone's gonna apologizeeeeee!
Until the next chapter 🥴
Happy reading ;)
-Kiara