Everything changed after that night.
That perfect and steamy night.
I was no longer the beautiful angelic girl that everyone made me believe I was. Every time I looked at myself in the mirror, all I could think about was that night and how Chester entered my room and took me. Just like that. How can one have a pure soul after such a sinful moment? A moment has been repeating in a loop in my mind, all the time... Mental slaps didn't work. Watch a movie or read a good book, also didn't work anymore. And I felt like everyone who looked at me judged me for what happened, even though no one didn't even acknowledge that it actually happened.
OMFG, it actually happened! I had sex with Chester Charles Bennington, my brother's best friend!
Mike will kill us if he finds out!
This was my every thought, for the whole week after that night and since I didn't think about anything else, I decided to burn my kinky journal... What if someone else reads it? I'd be embarrassed, mortified, mocked or grounded. And if Chester knows that someone else read it he would sure be pissed off... So I burned it one night, after bitting my own nails while I stared at Chester's phone number... That was the one page I decided not to burn... It was special... It meant that it wasn't just a good dream...
I'm a jerk. I know I am. I didn't even text him or call him after it happened. He left me his phone number and I haven't used it yet! But what the hell was I supposed to say? Thank you? When can you fuck me again?
I simply couldn't talk to him.
So, obviously, I have been avoiding him.
When I knew he was going to be in the basement with Mike and his friends, I grabbed my books and went to the university's library to study, or I went to Mindy's home to study with her. She was the only one that knew about my obsession with Chester and about that hot night with spent together. She didn't judge me or screamed like a hysterical teenager. She was actually pretty cool about it and that's why we are best friends since we were just 5 years old.
I tried my best to forget it. It was just meaningless sex for Chester, so it should be meaningless for me too. The difference was that I had feelings for him... And it was not meaningless, at all.
I don't mind though, I tasted what heaven felt like and I was so thankful for it that I didn't mind at all... What bothered me the most was that it seems like it was all I could think about.
This went on for a week and a half. I did my best to avoid Chester. Barely looked him in the eyes when we passed by each other. And some times, when I had the courage to look him in the eyes, those dark brown eyes the shone brighter than a burning star during the night, I could swear I saw something there. Something affectionate. Like he cared. Like was worried about my odd behavior.
I dismissed those thoughts because I was sure they were just a product of my imagination. That's how I lived all my life - in an imaginary world where Chester cared for me as I cared for him.
"Hey, are you even here tonight?" Mindy asked me, waving her hand in front of my eyes. I was biting my pen, thinking about Chester's teeth on my neck...
"Yes, I'm sorry, were saying anything?"
Mindy sighed and lowered her head.
"Chester?" She asked, even though she already knew the answer.
"Yeah..." I grunted, burying my head between my books. Mike and his friends were at my house that night, so, obviously, I didn't want to stay home. What if Chester decided to go upstairs and fuck me again as he did almost two weeks ago? Would I be able to use his phone number then? And what if that's it? It's just sex and nothing else? What if he just wants to have a good fuck and leave like I am just a whore? Oh my God, am I a whore??? I hit my head against the books a couple of times.
"Honey, this is no good for you... You think about him all the time..."
"No shit!" I muffled a laugh. "I can't think about anything else. Think about the man you desire the most, like Tom Cruise or something. Then, imagine he'd go to your room and fuck you like you're the last piece of meat in the world!!! I can't even imagine not thinking about it."
Mindy started laughing but had to cease the laugh because someone shushed them. They had forgotten they were in the library.
"Look, go outside, get some fresh air and come back when you're done with thinking about it and you want to study," Mindy said with a playful tone but serious at the same time
"Yeah, well, see ya in, like, the other life, then," I growled, walking out of the library.
The fresh air was so damn good... It was enough to make my body temperature drop a little since it increases every time I think about Chester. I can't help it, but I knew I had to put an end to it. To end something that didn't even begin.
The night was calm. There were barely any people walking outside. Only a few crazy people would go to the library on a Friday night. And, damn, we were crazy. But it was basically my fault. I have been dragging Mindy with me so that I can be depressed and have company at the same time.
The night breeze was good, but it didn't work wonders. I needed to splash my face with cold water, so I went to the girl's bathroom and stared at the mirror.
"You need to get yourself back together," I thought to myself as I waited for the running water to be the colder it could be. Touching it with my fingers, and deciding it was cold enough, I leaned in and splashed it against my face. Luckily, I don't use makeup on a daily basis, so there was no chance of turning into a makeup monster.
The water felt so good in my face... For a moment it's like I forgot everything around me and just lived for its freshness.
I straightened up and looked at the mirror, brushing my hands against my wet face. Then, I took some hand's paper, and pat it against my skin to wipe off the water.
When I opened my eyes again, I jumped back startled, and released a low gasp.
"Chester? What are you doing here?"
Chester was at the door, slightly out of breath. Why is he out of breath?
He didn't say a word. Instead, he locked the door and took a couple of steps towards me, and, for a moment, I thought I was actually going to faint.
"You didn't call," he said in a serious tone, but I noticed he was not angry.
"I didn't," that was the only thing that I could say.
"Why didn't you? Did you forget about me?"
My heart broke into tiny little pieces. What on Earth is he talking about? Why is he talking that way? I put the paper tissue in the trash bin and walked to the mirror, brushing my hair casually, in order to disguise my anxiety. Why did he lock the door?
"I have been busy, that's all," I lied. "I have to study, you know?"
"Bullshit," he said.
I turned around when I felt him behind me, his hands grabbing my hips.
"You were avoiding me," he said. No shit, Sherlock. "You don't talk to me. You barely even look at me. I don't like it."
I was speechless, looking up at him. Chester was taller than me and thinner. I was a small, curvy girl. I am no athletic girl, but I don't mind, I'm happy this way. And Chester didn't mind either, his hands grabbed my waist as if I was going to run away from him and he didn't want that. Not really.
Still, I didn't talk. I simply started and gulped.
Without even saying one more word, Chester pulled me with him to one of the cubicles of the bathroom and locked the door. Then, he turned to me and ravished my lips with a passionate kiss that made me lose the floor under my feet. The way his tongue danced inside my mouth and the way he pressed my body against the bathroom tiles, was so overwhelming that I moaned against his lips.
Smirking, Chester took that as a motivation to wander my body with his hands, down to my jeans. One of his hands slid under my jeans and under my panties, wasting no time and asking no permission to graze my folds.
"Fuck... So wet," he muttered against my lips, making me tremble with the growl coming from his throat.
His finger circled my clit painfully slowly, while he spoke in a low tone.
"I thought you forgot about me, Amy," he said. How could I? "I've been thinking about you... A lot. About that night... And I waited for a text message or a call, but there was none. Why was that?"
"I - I -," I tried to speak, but Chester was already fingering me with no mercy and I felt my panties soaking completely. The man barely touched me and I was having an orgasm already. What the fuck was wrong with me???
"You what, Amy?" He asked against my ear, biting it and sucking it as his fingers continued to do wonders. "You see how good I can make you feel? Do you want more, baby?"
"Chest --" I couldn't say a word. Not a single word!
"That's it... Let go, Amy... Let go..." he whispered, closing his eyes at the blissful sound of my muffled moans against his cheek.
"Please..."
"Please, what?"
I wanted to ask him to stop. I wanted to know what was happening. I needed answers and not just a good fuck! As much as I wanted him, and fuck, I wanted him so badly, I also didn't want to be his fuck toy.
"Stop," I barely whispered and thought that he didn't hear me, but he did and he immediately stopped what he was doing to look at me, afraid that he forced himself on me against my will.
"Why? What's wrong?" He asked immediately, leaning back against the other side of the wall, looking breathless at me. "Was it too much?"
"No!" I said immediately. "I mean, yes... Uh -"
I growled, not knowing how to explain myself and all I could do was unlock the door and run away from the bathroom.
Chester didn't understand what just happened and why I reacted that way, but he was not a man to remain quiet, so he ran after me, grabbing my wrist when I finally left the building into the cold night.
"Amy, what's wrong?"
"We can't do this. Chester... For fuck's sake, you're Mike's best friend!" I brushed my hair away from my face and looked anywhere but to his beautiful shiny eyes.
"So that's it? Just because I'm friends with Mike, I can't spend time with you?"
I looked at him and rolled my eyes.
"If you call this spending time with me..."
When I turned around to go back to the library to grab my stuff and go back home, Chester stood in my way and grabbed my shoulders. Smiling weakly and feeling a little anxious, he spoke in a low tone.
"Don't you want it? To spend time with me?"
I was taken aback by his question, but at the same time, I didn't understand if he was asking to date him or be his friend with benefits.
"Trust me... I do want it... But we can't," I freed myself from his grip and walked away. "If my brother finds out about what happened, he'd kill us both, resurrect us and kill us again."
Chester nodded his head, knowing that I was right.
I continued going upstairs, to enter the library, and Chester decided it was better to let me go. I was right, after all, Mike would kill us and he'd certainly lose all his trust. Mike has been his best friend since he can remember. He's the only best friend he has. How could he ruin a friendship like theirs over sex? Over a girl? Over me?
"Is it bad that I want to risk everything anyway?" He asked out loud, making me halt my pace.
I turned around and looked at him.
He looked beautiful. Absolutely angelic. Under the moonlight. Under the darkness of the night. He shone brighter than the stars; than the full-moon. He's too perfect to even exist.
"Go home, Chester," I said with a smile on my lips and as I saw Chester's warm smile plastered in his face I knew that the conversation was not finished and whatever happened between us was not going to end... Maybe it wasn't going to happen that night, nor the next day.
But that was definitely not the end of it.