THE COLD AIR MADE HER FEEL RELAXED ON HER BURNING SKIN. It felt like forever once Eleanor stopped crying over her father's body. The only reason she left his side was because Rick and Carl started to tell her about a herd of walkers coming her way.
Ellie felt her hand slip out from her father's one last time and then followed the two to the barn, where Rick ordered her to pour out the gasoline.
"Okay. When I say, drop this." Rick told her, the girl nodding quickly before her and Carl climbed up the ladder, Rick leading the walkers inside. "C'mon! Come and get me!"
The groans of hunger were enough for Ellie to already have the lighter lit, just waiting for Rick's que.
"Now!"
She exhaled sharply and dropped the lighter, the undead bursting into flames, her feeling the heat on her face from up on top.
"Let's go!" Rick urged. Ellie grabbed Carl's hand and the three ran outside the barn, seeing an RV pull up in front of them. They jumped on top quickly, hoping that they'd get out of here soon.
The RV suddenly stopped and Ellie didn't have to ask why when she saw the blood splattered on the windows and screams of... Jimmy?
"Ellie!" Rick yelled to snap her out of her shocked state as she just stared at the window, the screams echoing in her ears. He held out his hand at the bottom of the RV and she sprinted to the other side, walking down the ladder with Rick's help.
Ellie saw Lori from a distance, her hands on her head as she frantically spoke to Carol about something.
The girl shrieked in fear once she felt a hand wrap around her arm, loud groans in her ears. Ellie used her free hand to push the walker off from her, which just resulted in the thing trying to bite off her hand.
Just as she felt it's teeth graze her shoulder, a bullet was in it's head, it falling to the ground. Ellie looked towards her savior and saw it was Jax.
He sprinted to her with a gun in his hand, flames being seen in his brown eyes as they darted around frantically. "Are you okay? Where's my dad? Mom? I-is Carl okay?"
Ellie swallowed nervously and quickly nodded her head, her now realizing that his hands were on her face. "Yeah they're fine-" Her sentence got cut off once she heard the loud crack of the barn, flaming walkers stumbling out from it.
"C'mon!" Jax screams out, gripping her hand tightly and running to one of the cars that he knew worked, which happened to be Shane's old green Honda he found at the beginning of the apocalypse at a gas station they had stopped at.
The two teenagers got into the car and Jax spotted the keys in the coin holder (as he calls it) and placed it in the ignition, turning quickly with shaky hands.
The engine sputtered and he groaned angrily, Ellie clutching her side in pain as it suddenly started to hurt. "Damn it!" Jax turned the key one more time and the car came to life, a large smile breaking out onto his face.
He put the car in reverse and quickly started to make his way out from the farm, Ellie not even protesting and instead, looked at herself in the rearview mirror, her fathers blood still on her face.
-
They have probably been driving for about thirty minutes before tears started to pour from Ellie's eyes and down her cheeks. A lump formed in her throat as she tried her hardest to stop herself from crying. All that did was cause a whimper to escape her mouth, making Jax turn to her quickly.
"Hey, El..." He quickly pulled over on the road and completely focused his attention on her. "Ellie? Hey, look at me."
Ellie turned to the boy and when she caught his eye, a sob racked her body, not being able to hold it in any longer. "I-I'm sorry."
"Wh-what are you apologizing for? I'm... hey," His face fell at her sad state. Placing his fingers under her chin, he tilted her head up and used his thumb to wipe off her tears. "We're gonna be okay, alright?"
Ellie exhaled deeply to calm herself and it was starting to work once he smiled softly. She wiped the tears off her face and then gave him a faded smile. "The highway."
"What?"
"Let's go to the highway. Where we left all those supplies for Sophia?" Ellie told him and he nodded, remembering the day he helped Carol put the canned food up on the car. "I think that's where everyone would be."
"Okay, to the highway."
-
Eleanor sighed in relief once she spotted the familiar faces. Jax quickly stopped the car and got out just as quick, running to his father, Eleanor slowly making her way out, her side slightly burning.
The two quickly embraced, Jax then hugging his mother, the woman sobbing quietly. Once Rick spotted Ellie in front of him, he brought her into a tight hug, her wrapping her arms around him just as tightly.
She pulled back and the two had a conversation with their eyes. Ellie nodded her head and he mimicked her actions, the moment going unnoticed to everyone around them.
Ellie then hugged Lori tightly, the woman smiling against her shoulder. As she pulled away, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion once she didn't see a certain someone. "Where's your dad?"
The girl shook her head and avoided eye contact, not being able to see Lori's reaction. Ellie untangled herself from Lori's arms and walked away from the group and to the car that her and Jax drove in.
She watched as the group talked among themselves, probably figuring out where to go next.
Ellie looked down at her nails, seeing the blood of her father under them, dried up. In fact, his blood was all over her. Placing her clammy palm over her cheeks, she started to wipe away harshly, making sure to get all the blood out.
She suddenly heard groans of a walker and jumped up in fear, seeing one walk right in front of the car. Opening the door, she gripped her knife tightly, her feet moving faster than her head and before she knew it, the knife was in it's brain, the groaning stopping.
Ellie pulled the knife out and huffed, almost everyone's eyes on her.
"We can't stay here." Carol stated with a timid voice.
"No shit, Sherlock." Ellie mumbled, walking over to the group and stopping right next to Rick.
"Let's get into the cars. I think I have an idea on where to go." Rick said before he started to walk off, Ellie watching him as he did.
All she hoped was that he kept his promise of keeping the group safe.
-
They drove for about six long hours before he cars suddenly stopped, Rick telling everyone he had no gas.
Once Ellie stepped out from the car, chills ran up her body when the wind blew through her coat she was wearing. She looks up at the sky, and she guessed in about an hour the sun would begin to set, and they still haven't found shelter. She sighs shakily at that, looking around her to see if they could settle here for the night.
"You out?"
"Running on fumes." Rick replied.
"We can't all fit in two cars." Glenn pointed out.
"We're gonna have to make a run for gas in the morning."
"Spend the night here?" Ellie spoke out, running her hands up and down her arms in an attempt to warm herself up.
"I'm freezing." Carl stated, his teeth chattering.
Ellie turned to Jax, a look of hopelessness on her face. "You okay?"
"I'm fine. You? Are you cold?" Jax gripped her arms and started to do the same thing she was doing with her own hands. Ellie breathed out and nodded her head, his hands stopping at her shoulders. "Better?"
"Y-yeah." Ellie shivered, leaning closer to the boy.
"We can't just sit here with our asses hanging out." Maggie blurted out to everyone, Hershel giving her a disapproving look.
"Watch your mouth." He scolded his daughter. "Everyone stop panicking and listen to Rick."
"All right, we'll set up a perimeter. In the morning, we'll find gas and some supplies. We'll keep pushing on."
Ellie gave Jax a worried look and he gave her one of his half-smiles.
The group talked back and forth on what to do as Ellie watched, her heart pounding loudly in her ears.
"We'll find shelter somewhere. There's gotta be a place." Rick told the group, his eyes wandering down the road.
"Rick..." Glenn started. "Look around, okay? There's walkers everywhere."
"T-there's gotta be a place not just where we hold up, but that we fortify... hunker down, pull ourselves together, build a life for each other." Rick's voice was starting to turn into irritation and Ellie could understand where he was coming from. All these people were counting on him to make the decisions. "I know it's out there. We just have to find it."
"Even if we do find a place," Maggie started, holding her gun closer to her body. "And we think it's safe we can never be sure. For how long?"
"We all saw how the farm turned out." Jax pointed out, Rick turning to him.
"That won't happen again." Ellie stated. The reason why the farm got overrun was because of her father.
"We'll make a camp tonight. Over there," Rick pointed to the closed off, or what looked closed off, woods. "Get on the road on the break of day."
"What if walkers come through or another group like Randall's?" Beth's timid voice spoke up.
"You know I found Randall, right?" Daryl told Rick. "He had turned, but wasn't bit."
Ellie furrowed her eyebrows, now walking a bit closer to where everyone stood. Her eyes widened in realization. Her father wasn't bit either.
"Shane killed Randall. Just like he always wanted to." Daryl told everyone, a look of shock on everyone's faces.
"And then the herd got him?" Lori looked to Ellie, hoping to get an answer from her but she just looked away, swallowing down the lump in her throat at the mention of her father.
"We're all infected."
Ellie's jaw dropped, not even bothering to listen to the rest of the conversation. She walked back to the car, shutting the door behind her.
As she pulled up her sleeve she wondered, why was I chosen? Why didn't I die that day at the lake? The bite was mostly healed now, a couple flakes of skin coming off every now and then but nothing too bad. She sighs, glancing back at the group.
Jax crossed his arms, looking at his father intently. "What?"
"At the CDC, Jenner told me. Whatever it is, we all carry it." Rick elaborated and Jax scoffed, running his hands through his hair.
"Why didn't you tell us?"
"Would it have made a difference, Jax?"
"You've known this whole time?"
"How could I have known for sure? You saw how crazy that mother-"
"That wasn't your call." Glenn said, shaking his head at the man. "When I saw the walkers in the barn, I told you guys for the good of everyone."
"Well, I thought it was best that people didn't know." Jax watched as his dad walked off. He looked around at the group, their faces full of unsureness and fear. He could tell that they were all questioning his leadership. Why wouldn't they?
Ellie was probably sitting in the same spot for about a while as she watches the sun starting to set just over the horizon, orange and pink illuminating the sky. She just sat there looking at herself in the mirror, wondering if she did the right thing killing her father or not.
She gasped loudly once she heard a knock on the window. Once she saw it was just Rick, she let out a huff before getting out from her spot, opening the door to stand in front of him, avoiding eye contact. "What's up?"
"We're settling down for the night. Didn't think you wanted to sleep in the cold." Rick looked closely at the girl. Her hair was matted and she still had a bit of blood all over her from when she held her father in her arms.
"Uh, okay." Ellie nodded her head and walked passed him. Rick was quicker than her and he stood right in front of her, the girl huffing in response as she bumps into his chest, backing up while crossing her arms.
"El, look at me." The girl looked up, meeting his eyes. "What you did..." He paused, trying so hard to say the right thing. "Y-you didn't have to do that."
"I did."
Rick sighed and shook his head. "That was something no one should have to go through."
Ellie cleared her throat and nodded, trying her best to stay strong. As she looked at him again, something flickered in her eyes. "He was... unhinged. You saw that. I saw the look in his eyes," She paused, taking a deep breath as she recalls the evil look he had in his eyes from the night before as he pointed his gun at Rick. "there's no coming back from that. He wanted to lead a group... keep us safe." Ellie scoffed, shaking her head. "He was the only dangerous person at that farm."
Rick nodded his head, agreeing with her.
"I killed him because I had to, Rick." She confesses, looking him straight in the eye.
"C'mon." Rick wrapped his hand around her shoulder and put her in front of him, making sure she gets to be with the group.
Suddenly, a sound of rustling leaves startled the group, everyone panicking.
"We should leave, what are we waiting for?" Carol said frantically.
"Walker?" Ellie mumbled and Rick shook his head, leading her towards the fire.
"Look, the last thing we need is for everyone to be running off in the dark. No one's travelin' on foot."
A branch suddenly snapped and now everyone was on their feet. Jax pulled Ellie behind him and she scoffed, moving back to where she was.
"I'm not sitting here waiting for another herd to blow through." Carol spat out, Ellie giving her an annoyed look. "We need to move, now."
"No one is going anywhere." Rick bellowed, tired of this groups eagerness to go on the road.
"Do something!"
"I am doing something! I'm keeping this group together, alive. I've been doing that all along, no matter what." Rick breathed out angrily. "I didn't ask for this." He pauses, making eye contact with El for a moment before looking away and back to the group. "I killed my best friend for you people, for christ's sake!"
Ellie looked to him with a confused expression. What? Rick noticed her look and gave her a curt nod, telling her to stay silent. "You all saw what he was like, how he pushed me... how he challenged us, how he threatened us. Fuck, what he did to Ellie..."
Everyone looked to her once he said that and she looked away. She had no idea that he even knew about what went on with her and her father. Her wrist still hurts from that day...
"He lead me out there to put a bullet in my back... he gave me no choice!"
Daryl looked to Ellie, trying to see her reaction but she seemed to be calm. Her eyes were a dark shade that he saw clearly through flames.
She flinched at the sound of Carl crying softly, wanting nothing more than to go over there and comfort him. Then, she looked to Jax and he had a look of confusion and horror written all over his face. He didn't want to believe that his father killed him, but a part of him did.
Once he felt Ellie's eyes on him he looked her way and she just continued to stare at him, trying to see if he could read her expression or not.
After a second, she looked away and sat back down at the fire, trying her best to stay warm on this cold night.
Several amount of eyes land on her, flickering between her and Rick. Ellie tries to ignore their looks, sitting down next to Carl and Lori.
"Maybe you people are better off without me. Go ahead. I say there's a place for us, or maybe it's just another pipe dream. Maybe... maybe I'm foolin' myself again. Why don't you go and find out yourself? Send me a postcard. Go on, there's the door. Let's see how far you get."
Everyone was now intimidated of the man that stood in front of them. They were scared, but they felt like he could keep them safe. And that's why nobody walked off.
"No takers? Fine. But get one thing straight. You're staying, this isn't a democracy anymore."