15 minutes late, with a coffee in hand, Aphrodite strolls into the library for detention. The monitor sighs, collecting her phone in the basket. "You have to stay 15 minutes after."
"Not my first time. I'll live."
Her eyes linger on Ethan, sat with headphones in at one of the tables in the back. She didn't think he'd get more than a warning, so seeing him is a surprise.
His hair is flat against his forehead, his hoodie--Aphrodite's favorite--has the sleeves pulled over his hands, and a deep pout is etched on his lips. Upon noticing Aphrodite, Ethan swallows slowly and turns his attention to his laptop to work on an essay. He kind of hopes she might sit with him, but she snags an empty corner table instead. It's for the best.
The sounds of keyboard clicks, flipping pages, and pencil scribbling fill the library. For the other students in there, it's just another shitty detention. For Aphrodite and Ethan, it's a tense and uncomfortable hell.
Even just sitting in the same room, the tension is palpable. Stolen glances, subtle gestures, mere seconds of eye contact--it's painful.
Aphrodite does some other work for classes, leaving chemistry for last. She missed everything they learned last class, and from the several classes she's skipped, so suffice to say she's lost when she starts.
Huffs leave her mouth, slamming her textbook shut. Aphrodite could barely focus before with Ethan ten feet away, she's definitely not able to focus on trying to teach herself something.
Taking notice of her frustration, Ethan ignores the pit in his stomach and moves tables to sit with her. "H-hey, Aph."
"Go away before I punch you in the throat. I'm hungover, tired as hell, and sick of seeing you."
"...I just wanna help," he insists, voice low. He's more nervous now than he was before they became close. "I-I have my chem notes--just let me--I'll leave you alone after, you don't have to talk to me... I can ju-just explain it and leave."
Pursing her lips, Aphrodite gives a sharp nod. She still needs to pass chemistry, so she can endure the sound of Ethan's voice whispering for a few minutes. The detention monitor is in the break room getting coffee, and probably will be for a while. For that reason, Ethan doesn't hurry--that, and spending more time with Aphrodite.
Even when she's mad at him he can't help but admire her. Eyes dark and accentuated with an intense gaze, head resting on her hand, the way she tucks her hair behind her ears and taps her fingers on the table... it's killing him. Ethan thinks Aphrodite has to be even more beautiful than her namesake, and even more cruel just for existing in this capacity. Of course, he shakes that second thought away--he knows it's his fault alone that she's upset with him.
The second Aphrodite feels she understands enough, she pushes Ethan away. Being near him hurts, being away from him hurts--everything hurts. It's easier when she can stop thinking about him.
Ethan spares one last glance at her at the end of detention, knowing she has 15 more minutes. She doesn't look back at him.
The 15 minutes alone are perhaps more boring than the two and a half hours beforehand, but Aphrodite survives. Snatching her phone, she leaves detention and immediately drives toward Grayson's house. They had plans to hangout, probably smoke and go for a drive, then grab lunch.
When she gets there, his room is empty and car gone. Aphrodite groans, texting him.
Aphrodite: where tf are you
Aphrodite: im in your room and you're not here.
Grayson: sounds inappropriate
Aphrodite: shut up and tell me :(
Grayson: ran out to grab some stuff as soon as E got back with the car. be back soon
Aphrodite: ughhhhhhhhhhhhh
Ten minutes pass. Twenty. Thirty, and Grayson's still not back.
Aphrodite is bored, and annoyed, and overthinking everything. It doesn't help that she can hear Ethan laughing with his friends next door, shouting on occasion, probably playing some stupid game to distract himself. She loved watching him play.
Images of him and Rachel flash in her head again. Fucking Rachel.
"Fuck it," she mutters to herself, walking out of Grayson's room. Before she can stop and think, she's barging through Ethan's bedroom door. "Why did you kiss Rachel?"
"A-Aph!" He sputters, tearing his headphones off and shutting his computer down after mumbling a quick goodbye. "I..."
"I just--I deserve to know why, Ethan!" His teeth sink into his bottom lip, hands covering his face. "My last four boyfriends who cheated on me, they were assholes. I always knew that, in the back of my mind. The first and second ones only really wanted me for sex. The third one had a reputation. He was possessive. Whatever. The fourth one... well, I guess I should've realized after he hit me, but I--you? I don't get it, Ethan! I thought you were different. If you didn't like me anymore, if you didn't love me, why didn't you just break up with me?"
"...your last boyfriend hit you?"
"That's not what this is fucking about, I just need answers."
Ethan gulps, "I-I'm sorry."
"That's not an answer, Ethan!" Aphrodite snaps, kicking his shelf and watching things fall, a few things breaking. "Why? Just fucking tell me why you did it!"
"I went upstairs t-to look for Carla," Ethan breathes, moving to his floor to pickup broken ceramic remnants. A childhood art project fell, not that he cared about it. "Rachel was there--and I thought she was really drunk because she couldn't stand straight, an-and she just fell into me so I caught her... and then she kissed me. I-I didn't know what to do and I--ow, fuck--I just didn't move, and I felt sick, and then you showed up and--"
"E..."
"I'm sorry, Aph, I-I should've pushed her, should've--it shouldn't have happened!"
Noticing he cut his hand, Aphrodite is careful when wrapping her arms around him. Ethan sniffles, holding his bloody palm away but hugging her back tightly. His face finds the crook of her neck, mumbling more apologies.
Ethan felt horrible the moment it happened, but he didn't know how to react. He didn't even have time to before Aphrodite walked up the stairs and saw them together.
"That's not your fault, baby," she whispers, kissing his cheek. "I'm sorry. And I'm sorry that happened to you. I wish you would've told me."
"S'not?"
"No, E. She forced you to kiss her--she wasn't even drunk. It's fucked up, and it's not your fault you didn't know how to react. Fuck. Why didn't you tell me what really happened?"
"I just... I thought it was my fault. I didn't think you'd wanna hear... hear excuses," Ethan mumbles. When she pulls out of the hug, she looks at him with soft eyes for the first time since the party. "I'm sorry, Aph. I-I love you, and I--"
"You love me?"
"...yeah. Yeah, I do... I love you, Aph."
Aphrodite leans in and encapsulates his lips in a messy kiss, damp cheeks sticking together. All of the anger and sadness they'd been dealing with is immediately forgotten, only focusing on each other.
Ethan gasps against her lips, slightly chapped like his and so familiar. When Rachel kissed him, he blamed himself. It never crossed his mind that it wouldn't be his fault, he didn't do anything to stop her--but Aphrodite didn't see it that way. He's pretty sure he loved her before, but something always stopped him from saying it. He was saving it for a powerful moment apparently, and it was here. If only he didn't need to spend any time away from her for him to be able to.
She was relieved, guilty, and angry all at once.
Relieved that Ethan loved her, that she was good enough and he didn't cheat. Guilt that she didn't make him explain sooner. Anger that Rachel kissed Ethan and made him feel like this. The emotions are all swimming right in her heart.
Pulling away, breathless, she rests her forehead against his. "What did she say to you, when I saw you guys? She whispered something in your ear..."
"She asked if I was embarrassed we got caught. And then she told me I shouldn't have been," he tells her quietly. "I just felt sick."
Aphrodite frowns, holding his face. Ethan let's her, relaxing in her touch. They both let the tension slip away. She grabs his still bleeding hand, feeling guilty that he cut himself. "C'mon. Let's get you cleaned up."
"I'm sorry."
"Stop apologizing, E. You don't need to." He gives a small nod, letting Aphrodite drag him toward the bathroom. The cut on his palm isn't deep, but it's dripping quite a bit of blood and it burns when she runs it under the water. "Sorry for breaking your stuff."
"S'okay... didn't really care about it anyway. Just didn't--wanted to make sure you didn't hurt yourself on it," he mumbles, using his free hand to wipe his watery eyes. He wipes hers too. "Did, um--you said your last boyfriend hit you?"
She knew it was coming, but she hoped he'd drop it.
With a deep sigh, she shrugs her shoulders and reaches for some Neosporin and something to wrap the cut with. Ethan sniffles again, his eyes big and sparkly when he looks at her.
"A few times, I guess," she whispers, mumbling an apology when he hisses at the pressure. This was a topic Aphrodite preferred to forget, but she always wants to be honest with Ethan. "We drank together sometimes, and he got mad easily when he was drunk. Usually he'd just yell and maybe be a little rough in bed on those nights but... it happened when things got bad. When things got out of hand, he'd slap me, pull my hair, shove me, stuff like that. When I broke up with him after I found out he cheated on me with Rosa, h-he broke a couple of my fingers. He moved shortly after and I haven't seen him since. I uh, I never told anyone that. Guess I didn't think it was a big deal. He was older anyway, so he bought everyone alcohol a lot and I didn't wanna bother anyone with that when we broke up. They liked him."
"Aph," Ethan breathes, pulling he close. "I'm... I'm so sorry."
"I'm okay, E. It was last year, and honestly, I got so fucked up all the time back then that it's a blur anyway."
"He abused you, Aph! That's not--it's not just okay, you don't have to pretend it is."
"...what happened?" Grayson asks, leaning on the bathroom door frame. Aphrodite and Ethan turn to him with wide eyes, his hand now wrapped up. "Who hit her?"
"Not now, Grayson."
"Aphie, talk to me."
"No, I don't--I don't wanna talk about it anymore. Ethan and I still have some stuff we should probably talk about, and it doesn't matter because it was like a year ago now."
"Was it Dustin? The boyfriend Rosa slept with--he hit you?"
"It doesn't matter!"
"Aph," Ethan mumbles, reaching for her hands that she pulls back. He doesn't take offense. "S'okay. It's okay to be upset about it. It... it does matter, you shouldn't have had to deal with that."
Aphrodite lets out a frustrated, muffled scream with her head in her hands. Ethan leans into her, resting his head on his shoulder.
She's shaking just thinking about it--thinking about hiding bruises from her little brother, feeling like she couldn't tell anyone. Memories buried with the help of drinking are being pulled out, and Aphrodite doesn't like the way it feels. She doesn't want to think about it; it's over now.
Ethan holds her though, and he feels his heart breaking at this even more than when she was mad at him. He'd let Aphrodite hate him forever if it meant she'd never be hurt--physically or mentally--again.
Grayson stands quietly, rubbing his tired face and watching. He didn't need to ask what happened and why they were back together, he only wanted to make sure Aphrodite was okay.
"Are you high, Gray?" She asks after a few minutes, pulling back from Ethan.
"No, I was waiting for you. Why didn't you tell me about Dustin?"
"There's a lot about me you don't know," she's sighs, leaning her head on Ethan. "There's a lot I never felt like I could tell you. And then I just got used to hiding things. But Ethan's found out pretty much everything, one way or another. If you really wanna know, I think... I think I can talk about stuff, with E's help."
Ethan gives a soft smile, one she can't see while she's looking the other way but she knows is there. Aphrodite feels ready to let someone else in, and he definitely wants to help.
The three of them go downstairs to talk, Grayson with furrowed eyebrows. Genuinely, he wants to be trustworthy to her and feels guilty that she didn't think she could tell him things for so long. Grayson told Aphrodite everything, quite literally. There was no doubt in his mind that, as stupid as he was sometimes, she was his best friend.
Seeing her spend so much time with Ethan was... difficult, at first. Grayson feared he might lose her, but now it seemed that he was only getting closer to her because of it.
Aphrodite lets anger fill her veins as she tells Grayson about her dad, her mom, about her birthdays and boyfriends, about everything she's kept from him that he's been dying to know. Anger she doesn't allow herself to feel often, but that will ultimately help her heal. Grayson gets angry too.
Ethan doesn't quite feel the same. He's never been fueled by anger like they have, instead, it makes him want to protect Aphrodite from anything that might ever hurt her. She doesn't need protection, and he knows that, but he wants to lift the burden. She's had to protect other people for so long, she needs someone in her corner. He makes a promise to himself to never upset her again, even unintentionally.
"I'm sorry you never felt like you could tell me this," Grayson swallows slowly. "I'm gonna kill Dustin and your dad."
"Grayson, no."
"Fine," he grumbles, pulling her in for a hug. "I love you, Aphie. I'm always here if you need me. I wanna... I want to feel like someone you can come to." Grayson presses a kiss to Aphrodite's cheek, then turns to Ethan. "Thanks for being there for her, bro."
There's no response, instead, Ethan clears his throat. "Since we're all here... I-I'm worried about you, Gray."
"About me? Why?" Grayson's mood instantly shifts, his arms crossing over his chest. Ethan only has to raise an eyebrow--Grayson knows well enough why. "I'm fine, Ethan. It's not like I'm doing hard drugs, okay? If mom and dad haven't noticed, there's not really a problem."
"No, Gray, he's right," Aphrodite interrupts with a frown. "And I know I'm not exactly one to talk, but..."
"Yeah, I'm done with this conversation. Enough sappy shit for today, guys. I assume you're back together, and Ethan's been crying about losing you since you broke up with him, so I'm gonna let you guys hangout today. Bring this up another day."
"Gray--" Ethan's cut off by Grayson patting him on the back and walking straight out of the house. "It-it's been a long morning."
"Yeah," she laughs, brushing her lips against Ethan's. "Is your hand okay?"
"It will be... I missed you," he whispers, his forehead pressed against hers again. "I was--I've been so worried about you. You were skipping, and uh, high all the time, and even hungover this morning and... just looked so upset with everything. I'm so sorry."
"Baby, you don't have to apologize!" Aphrodite mumbles, kissing him again. She knew she got bad, and she wanted him to see it. Aphrodite also knew it wasn't good to want to try and spread her hurt like that, but she couldn't help it. "I've never been great at dealing with things that upset me. But being with you reminds me that there are good things. That I can be better. And I wanna be."
"I love you," Ethan reminds her. His hot breath fans over her face, lips so close to touching but not quite. "No more fighting."
"We can try, E," she laughs lightly, their lips meeting for a brief moment before she pulls back with wide, guilty eyes. "I... I didn't sleep with Colton. I just need you to know that. I kissed him, more than once, and I tried to use him to forget about you, but I couldn't."
"That's nice to hear... but I-I wouldn't be mad if you did," he hums, tracing hearts on her thigh. "I never wanna lose you again, Aph."
"You won't."
A/N
:)
y'all were so worried about Ethan and Rachel smh you should've been worried about what that was leading to
also i know this is quite a few hours later than i normally update but i forgot to post it before work so im posting it now that I'm off LMAO. im on the bus omw back home and my phones on 1% so just know i am doing this with my dying breaths for y'all!!
fr hope you guys have a good weekend mwah ily