smoke & mirrors
◤nine◥
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Staring at the papers on the table, Evanna felt ridiculous for not realising sooner. She didn't take her eyes off it; afraid it would disappear as soon as she'd look away. She felt her breathing grow heavy, her heart beating faster. Everything suddenly felt close.
A door in the distance opened and fell closed with a thud. Feet slapped against the floor as they made their way over to her. Evan already knew who it was. No one else ever visited the library it seemed. In all their time spent in the dusty room, they had been the only two there.
Garek came to a stop behind her, clearing her throat. He thought she hadn't heard him come in yet. She hadn't moved since he had.
"Evan?" she only hummed in response. "What did you want to show me?"
Without looking away, Evanna gestured for him to stand beside her. "Come here," she said and pointed at the frustrating blueprints. "Tell me I'm not imagining this."
Garek's eyebrows pulled into a frown but did as she said, nonetheless. "Imagining what?"
She shook her head, ran a hand through her hair. "I've...I've been trying to come up with all different ways to find that tunnel, anything that goes to the outside. Nothing worked," she paused and pointed to a gap between two lines and followed it with her finger. "When I wanted to collect all the blueprints and hide them, I just stacked them," the gap seemed to continue endlessly. "It was the only thing I hadn't tried yet. I held them all up against the light, and – and it was just there."
As he followed Evan's finger from the top of the blueprint all the way to the bottom, his eyes widened. Overlapping and held up against the light, he saw it. Adjacent from two tunnels was a very small gap that seemed to go on and on until the bottom of the page. Nothing ever blocked it, obscured it. It was open from top to bottom. A clear path.
Evan heard him inhale sharply. Finally, she dared to look away from the blueprints and up at him. His eyes were glued to the papers as he slowly moved closer, as if it would disappear if he moved faster.
He pointed at one of the tunnels next to the small passage and almost hesitantly, he said, "This looks familiar."
Evanna felt a smile stretch her mouth as she nodded. Garek glanced at her. "It's the same tunnel where we picked up that official that time you got to pick out your own team."
"So, then we know where it is."
She nodded again. "We do."
"We found it," Garek said, more to himself than to her. He smiled, looking up from the blueprints. "We found it."
Evanna couldn't get a word in before Garek wrapped his arms around her and spun the two of them around. A disbelieving and relieved laugh came from him as he almost danced around with her. He seemed more like himself since the last time she saw him. It made her feel a little more at ease.
Evan laughed. "Put me down, you loser."
He did so. "Sorry, sorry. I'm just – really happy I never have to look at these blueprints ever again."
"That makes two of us."
Wasting no time, Garek picked up a marker from the table and started highlighting the path. Nobody looked at the blueprints anymore and they were online in the system anyway. After they were done with this, they could burn all of them and none would be the wiser.
Looking at him, Evanna couldn't help but feel a little guilty. It was a feeling that had become annoyingly common when around Garek. She hated it, but there wasn't anything she could do. Ignoring it would only make it worse.
She hadn't told him about Newt, about Winston. She hadn't told him that when she tried to access the files again the other day, she was thrown out. The furthest Evan had gotten was with Winston, subject A3. She couldn't bring herself to tell Garek about him. It was as if telling someone, saying it out loud, would make it more real. Evan didn't want that. She wasn't ready for it yet.
Finding the secret passage on the blueprints, all she could think about were Minho, Newt and Winston. She had to do it for them. Even for the ones she couldn't remember — for the boy with the brown eyes. They were all important to her in different ways and she couldn't let them down. Not again. She refused to.
"Hey, you okay?" Garek's voice pulled her back to the matter at hand.
Evan cleared her throat and shrugged the thoughts away. She had to focus. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking, is all."
"When do you plan on going?"
It was strange how he didn't include himself. Garek usually jumped at the chance to do something that WICKED didn't condone. Again Evan was reminded of his strange behaviour lately. She noticed the bags under his eyes, the slumped shoulders. She couldn't imagine how hard Janson was working him. She felt sorry for Garek, but at the same time also grateful that the attention was not on her.
Evanna knew how busy he was, so she didn't even suggest he tag along. Besides, if both of them suddenly disappeared it would be too suspicious. Janson would instantly know what was up, especially if he was the one to deny her access to the files. He would already know how much she remembered.
"As soon as possible," she answered. "I haven't really given it much thought."
"We know the area the Sandman's hideout is, and we know how to get there now. I'm surprised you haven't already left."
He had a point. She knew it. She also knew why she hadn't left yet. Why she was stalling.
"I'm scared," she mumbled barely above a whisper. She sat down on a chair and leaned forward, burying her head in her hands as she shook her head. "I don't know what I'm gonna find out there. I don't know if I even want to find anything out. What if it's all a lie? What if none of these past few months have been real? I don't know ... "
She felt him kneel down in front of her. Garek took her hands in his and waited until she lifted her head and looked up at him. He offered her a soft and kind smile; a typical Garek smile. It always made her feel more at ease.
"There's nothing wrong with being scared," he told her. "Hell, I'm scared and I'm not even leaving the wall. But you can't stop now. Whatever you find out, it can't be worse than not knowing. You've told me so yourself. This is something you have to do."
Sighing, Evan gave his hands a soft squeeze. "Why do you always have to know what to say?"
He chuckled. "Well, not always, but I have my moments. Now, come on," he lifted her up from the chair. "get packing and get ready. Tell me when you're ready to leave and we'll go over the plan."
"Thank you, Garek. Really."
"Enough with the niceties. You'll make me think we're friends."
⊡⊡⊡⊡
It didn't take Evan very long until she had packed everything she needed. She had had a long time to think about what to take, what to bring. For some reason she felt as though she had done this before, but for the life of her she couldn't remember. It was a feeling, although disliked, she had gotten used to.
In her knapsack was a flashlight with two backup batteries, some rope just in case, a small first-aid kit, a refillable and self-filtering water bottle and a couple of other essentials. She didn't pack any clothes. Evan didn't expect to be gone for very long. She had to keep Garek up to date and Janson away from suspicion, and she couldn't do that from the Sandman's lair – if she even found it.
She had changed clothes, though. Evanna had spent enough time observing the people outside the wall when looking for the Sandman to know that they didn't dress in the majority of clothes she owned. Most of it was old and ripped. She couldn't go out in her uniform either.
She was dressed in a dark brown long-sleeved shirt and some cargo pants. A scissor was in her knapsack for later to make everything look older and more ripped. Her combat boots were scuffed already, and the knapsack was old. She couldn't even remember where or when she had gotten it. She'd fit right in.
Throwing on one of Garek's old hoodies, there was a knock on the door. For a moment, Evan froze. If it was anyone but Garek she wasn't sure how to explain the attire and the survival knapsack. Carefully she walked over to her bed and threw her blankets over the evidence. She cleared her throat.
"Who is it?" she was thankful her voice sounded normal; calm and collected.
"It's just me," Garek's familiar voice rang from the other side.
With a sigh of relief, she opened the door and allowed him in. He quickly closed it behind him as Evan pulled away the blankets. The water bottle had rolled out, she stuffed it back in.
"You sure you don't want to wait until we get there before you dress like this?"
Evanna shook her head as she collected everything. She turned to face him. "I've brought in officials dressed like this before. It won't strike anyone as odd."
"The backpack?"
She shook her head again. "Done it before, too. Just in case there's a bombing, it's always handy to have a first-aid kit. Speaking of which, did you set everything up?"
Garek nodded. "The bomb's in place and I already set the timer. It's set to go off after the official gets off the train. Everyone but you should be out of the blast radius by then."
"Did you calculate for any delays?"
Hesitantly, Garek said, "I didn't. We've never had delays before. I couldn't think of any reasons why we would now."
Evan thought about it for a moment before agreeing. Nervously scratching her jaw, she looked around the room and tried to think of anything else that could go wrong. "You picked out the team?" Garek nodded. "And they're all set?"
"Yeah."
"Well, then I do think we're ready."
Garek let out a breath and ran a hand through his hair. "You've thought about everything, huh?"
Evan let out a light laugh. "I'm sure there's something I missed, but it's like you said, right? We want Janson to become a little suspicious. We want him to think I've found out more and can't let it go."
He hummed in response. He seemed distracted, not at all as enthusiastic as before. Evan frowned and placed the knapsack on the chair beside the door. Garek didn't even look at her as she did so, gnawing on his bottom lip.
"You okay?" she asked as she placed a hand on his shoulder.
He was quiet for a bit, and then, "I hate letting you go alone."
This is what she had missed before, when he suggested she go by herself. He hadn't said it then and it worried her. But now Garek seemed to be more like his usual protective self she had grown so accustomed to. She was scared before. She supposed now was his turn.
Evan smiled. "I thought you wanted me to."
"I know you have to," he said. "but that doesn't mean I want you to. If anything happens and I'm not there ... I wouldn't even know until it's too late."
"I'll be okay, Garek."
"And if you're not?" he lifted his gaze from the floor and looked at her. The worry was evident on his face, the corners of his mouth tilting downwards. "How am I supposed to protect you from here?"
She sighed heavily. "We've had this conversation a million times already. I can protect myself. You know that. If you don't hear back from me in four days, then you know where I'll be, and you can come find me. But before that, you have to let me do this alone. Otherwise Janson – "
"Yeah, I know," he answered. He sounded irked but didn't press it any further. "Four days. That's all you're getting. If I don't hear back from you in four days, then – "
"You come find me," she finished for him, smiling. Before he could reply Evanna pulled him into a hug. His arms wrapped around her almost instinctively, tightly, as if she'd disappear if he held on too loosely. "It's going to be fine."
Pulling away, she offered him another smile before reaching for the knapsack. She put her arms through the straps and adjusted them accordingly. Garek let out another deep breath before grabbing the doorknob. He turned to look back at Evan and she nodded.
"Alright, here we go," he said before opening the door.
Evan followed him out, locking her room like she always did when she was about to go out. It wouldn't be weird or suspicious to anyone.
Together, they made their way down the hall and to the meet up area where the team that Garek picked would be waiting. Other guards didn't pay much attention to them. Or at least, not more than usual. Garek they always seemed to ignore, and to Evan they only gave the appropriate greeting before moving along.
Before they reached the meet up place, Evan suddenly held onto Garek's arm and stopped him. She remembered something she couldn't say to him anymore once other people were around them. Garek shot her a confused look. Stopping in the middle of the hallway was hardly subtle.
Evan looked around them before softly saying, "Don't forget to burn the blueprints when you're back."
Garek shot her a classic boyish smile. "Already done," he said. "I figured it was safer that way. Who knows how long and thorough Janson will question all of us once we get back? I might not be able to get to them before someone finds them, so I already destroyed them."
A laugh slipped past her lips. It felt out of place at a time like this, but Evanna couldn't help it. "You don't get half the credit you deserve."
He hummed in agreement. "Maybe if you put in a good word for me the higher ranks will stop looking at me like I'm something they scraped from the bottom of their shoe."
"I'm afraid a good word from me is not gonna do much about that," Evan said as they continued walking.
Garek put a hand over his heart as he feigned offense. "You wound me, Evan, you really do."
And just like that they slipped back into their usual routine of teasing each other. It was what they would always do before a mission and this time could be no different. Not just to avoid raising suspicion, but also because Evanna knew Garek needed it. He needed to know nothing would change.
When they arrived at the meet up place, the others were already there. They looked annoyed at the late arrival of the two, but Evanna paid no mind to it. She was a higher rank than all of them. She couldn't care less whether she was a couple minutes late and what others thought of that.
"Finally," a girl spoke up as she jumped down from an empty desk.
Evan couldn't help the eye roll as soon as she noticed who it was. She glared at Garek who made a point of ignoring her as he made his way over to the rest of the group. She didn't even need to ask why he had chosen her of all people.
Evanna knew that as soon as she 'died', as Garek so elegantly explained in his plan, the girl would comfort him and that he might even get some action from it. It was wholeheartedly and typically Garek, and while amused, she couldn't believe her last mission would be with her.
"Sorry, Maya," Garek said as he threw her one of his winning smiles. "we had to take another look at the plan."
She scoffed. "This isn't any different from what we've already done," she turned her attention to Evan. "but I guess it has been a while since you've been put on any missions, right?"
Biting her tongue, Evan only smiled. "Yes, it has. I've just been so busy with other obligations. It's not easy being commander, you know. Oh wait ... " she trailed off, smirking at Maya who only huffed and turned away.
Clearing his throat, Garek gestured towards the entrance of the underground station. He made a point of directing Evan's attention to the clock. "Everybody ready to go?"
A boy Evan had only seen a couple of times who she still didn't know the name of nodded. Maya sighed heavily but made her way to the entrance. Garek waited until Evan had caught up with him. He was biting the inside of his cheek to stop from grinning. He was enjoying this.
"When I get back," Evan said through gritted teeth. "remind me to flay you alive."
He winked. "Can't wait."
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i would like to thank quarantine and procrastination for allowing me to write this chapter. i don't wanna jinx it but *knocks on wood* i'm slowly getting back inspiration for this story and i'm hoping it stays long enough. i just really wanna get to the part where she sees thomas again so i guess that's also driving me to write.
thank you to everyone still here and i hope you're all doing well physically and mentally. reminder that i'm always here if you wanna talk about whatever and forget about the mess that is the world for a little bit.
hope you enjoyed! leave a comment and or vote. i would really appreciate it :)
- saz