I looked down at the cliff. The waves hitting. The rocks beneath my feet. The moon illuminating the wild water.
It didn't register to me.
It was just me standing at the top of the cliff.
The same cliff Zayn jumped off.
Louis has his arm wrapped around my shoulders. But that didn't register in my head either.
It was just me standing at the top of the cliff looking down on Zayn's floating body.
"Come on, love. Let's go." Louis said, rubbing my back. It was like his voice was distant yet he was just inches away from me.
It was just me standing at the top of the cliff looking down on the people taking him away from me.
"Do you want some time alone?" Louis asked, staring at me with concerned eyes. I couldn't speak. Couldn't even take my eyes off of the ocean.
He sighed and kissed the top of my head. "He has reasons, you know."
I let his words sink in.
But I was numb. Too numb.
I stood there, motionless. Staring into nothing at all. There was silence for a long while until I spoke.
"He promised."
Louis immediately wrapped his arms around me and I buried my face in his shirt.
That's when it all crashed down.
The wind howling and almost knocking us out. The biting cold. The sound of the violent waves.
I let out all the sobs that's been choking me since they brought the news. I curled my fists into Louis' shirt and screamed.
But even Louis' arms aren't right. It isn't the same.
It isn't the same without him.
"He told me he wouldn't leave." I sobbed harder into his chest. "He promised me no matter what." I kept on repeating.
"He promised!" I screamed out into Louis' shirt. Both his shirt and my sobs muffling the sound.
But not my pain.