A/n~This story is based off of Nicks song Chainsaw. I thought it would be fun but sad to do and I really hope you like it. Also as your reading this play the song on repeat. Adds to the emotion I guess.
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Nick was in pain. He hurt and basically gave up on himself. He didn't eat or do anything productive, basically all he did was make sure that he his levels were right but only just enough.
He laid curled under a blanket on the couch crying.
He hadn't moved from the spot sense everything happened and wouldn't unless it was to go to the bathroom.
He loved her with every single fiber of his being and all it took was some guy to rip her out of his arms.
Everywhere he looked it brought back memories of them together and it broke his heart into millions of pieces over and over again.
He would still see there pictures or small things like a coat she had left behind but he wouldn't touch it.
He was to afraid that if he did it would somehow leave or get destroyed meaning it would remind him that she was actually gone.
He cried himself to sleep most nights but those were the nights that he could actually sleep.
He was weak and had dark bags underneath his eyes. He didn't care about anything besides her and was numb.
He laid in a ball on the couch somehow convincing himself that she would come walking back through the door and love him again.
But he knew that wasn't the case because she was gone and there was nothing he could do about it.
Joe and Kevin came over making sure he was stable enough but he didn't talk and stared off into space.
When Joe and Kevin would leave it would make him sob into his sweatshirt many times, because he felt as if everyone was leaving him.
He wasn't good enough and that destroyed him because if he wasn't good enough for her or his brothers, what made him think he was good enough for his fans?.
He stayed this way and dragged on trying to claim the broken pieces of his heart but every time he would even put a piece together it was like another wave hitting him causing the pieces to break once more.
He lost weight, barley changed his clothes and told himself to let go of everything.
But the funny thing was, was that his sadness started to slowly burn into white hot rage. His tears weren't of loss, they were of hatred now.
He soon got moving but in the way he shouldn't have been. He would throw stuff and scream, he would break all of his things yet he still wouldn't touch her things.
He walked into the bathroom looking at the mess before him. His breathing grew ragged and he felt his body start shaking.
The anger over flowed and he punched the mirror causing pieces to go flying and his hand to start profusely bleeding.
He didn't care though because he couldn't even feel the pain. He was numb and he liked it this way.
He threw his hands out and pushed all of his stuff off of the sink and crashing to the floor. It made him feel better but not enough.
So he stormed out into the living room and chucked random glasses or furniture at walls and busted them.
Angry tears rushed down his face as the only things that weren't trashed was hers. So with a stab to his heart he grabbed the pictures and broke them in half.
He ripped up the pictures, tore her coat and broke everything that reminded him of her.
After all this, he was sitting in the middle of it. He knew there was one last thing that he needed to get rid of and it tortured him.
The sofa that he had held her close for so long happened to be in there bedroom that they had once shared.
He couldn't rip it up but came up with a better idea.
He stood up with determination and walked to the garage. He found a gasoline can with some left over gas in it and headed back up.
After grabbing a lighter he walked up slowly. Each step he walked on was a memory that flashed before his eyes.
Her laughing as he carried her bridal style up these very steps. Them making love while tripping over themselves and up the steps. Them playing chase around the house.
Everything ached and he wished for more than anything, that he was just good enough and had her back in his arms.
He made it to the bedroom and slowly pushed open the door. He looked at the mess of the room and the unmade bed.
The bed that he hasn't touched sense the last time he slept with her. He held her close and she buried herself into him, which he loved.
But he couldn't help but think that it almost felt like the last time and boy was he right.
Nick swallowed the vomit that threatened to come up and walked in. He looked at everything one last time before dousing the furniture in gasoline.
The bed was soaking wet and he didn't care. He shut off his emotions and continued to get rid of her and everything that reminded him of her.
He pulled out his phone, he didn't know why. Maybe it was a cry for help but he didn't want help, he wanted the bedroom and everything to burn.
He rang his phone and slowly brought it up to his ear without saying a word. Instead he simply stared at the bed and blinked.
"Hey nick!" He heard Kevin say from the other end of the phone.
Nick didn't say anything, "Nick?" Kevin asked confused.
Nick opened his mouth and the only thing that came out was "I want everything to burn" and he slowly brought the phone down.
"Nick?!" Kevin screamed but nick dropped the phone and brought out the lighter.
He looked at it trying desperately to come up with something to change his mind but came up blank.
This was it, the pain and everything was going to get burned away. He would just say it was a freak accident and that would be that.
He visioned the whole thing going down not realizing that Kevin and Joe were parking outside.
He sighed and lit the lighter, with a final "goodbye" he threw it onto the bed and watched it go up in flames.
He watched the fire start to spread but not fast enough for his liking. He stood there blank and watched the fire dance and take away so many memories.
"Nick?!" He heard Joe call his name, sounded like he was frantic but nick didn't budge.
Just then he heard footsteps running up the stairs and into the bedroom.
"Oh my god!" Joe screamed, Joe ran and started to put the fire out.
Wait what?, no he couldn't! This was the only way nick was going to ever be ok again.
Joe can't put the fire out!. Nick snapped out of it and started to run to stop joe when he felt a pair of arms wrap around him.
He got yanked back but nick didn't stop. "No stop!!" Nick screamed.
Joe had the fire almost out and nick broke down "you can't do this!" He yelled.
Nick kept trying to shove forward with all his might but Kevin held him put.
Nick started to sob "no!!" He cried. Kevin slowly sank nick down to the ground and watched as his little brother cried and still tried to fight him.
Kevin blinked back tears but held strong. Joe got the fire out and was holding his head in disbelief.
Nick wailed and tried to break free but soon stopped when he saw that the fire was out. Nick crumbled and felt everything he pushed away come baring down on him.
It felt as if he couldn't breath, he was suffocating and there was nothing that no one could do about it.
Kevin began to rock him side to side and held him close.
Nick pushed his face into the crook of Kevin's neck and cried.
Both joe and Kevin knew how much nick loved her but she was gone and they all knew that she wasn't coming back.
Joe went downstairs and started to clean up nicks place. He knew that nick wasn't going to want to stay here for awhile but instead stay with him but he still cleaned it up anyway.
Kevin upstairs dealt with nick until he stopped crying.
Nick started to hyperventilate and hiccup though. Kevin knew how to handle this perfectly, it was just like when little Nicky got hurt outside and Kevin had to calm him down.
Kevin began to softly hush nick and calm his breathing. "It's going to be ok nick, just let it out" Kevin whispered.
Nick sniffled and closed his aching eyes. Maybe this time he wouldn't see her anymore or have nightmares about her leaving again.
Kevin looked nick over while he dozed off and saw that he was just fine bedsides the bloody cuts all over his hand.
He would have to ask about that but for now Kevin held him.
Joe got done in the living area and went into the bathroom. He gasped seeing the blood and everything smashed including the mirror.
Joe closed his eyes and nodded reminding himself that nick, his little Nicky was going to be just fine.
Nick fell asleep and had no dream but just fell into a peaceful slumber.
Kevin had been murmuring to nick in hopes he would go to sleep and it worked like a charm.
Kevin smiled and then joe came back up into the room.
"Everything is cleaned up" Joe said looking at nick.
"Ok, he's not staying alone" Kevin stated. Joe nodded "oh I know, trust me" he said with a dry laugh.
Joe sat by Kevin's side and leaned up against the wall. Joe looked at the burnt looking bed and sighed.
"She hurt him so bad" he mumbled. Kevin nodded and then started to run his hands through nicks hair.
"She did but there's nothing we can do about it. He is going to fall deeply in love one day and get married to a beautiful women. He isn't going to look back and he is going to be so happy" Kevin said quietly.
Joe nodded and had some visions of him meeting Sophie for the first time.
He wanted more then anything to see his little brother get married.
"What are we going to do now? With him I mean" joe asked.
Kevin looked down, "well I'm just going to let him sleep, it looks like he hasn't in weeks".
Joe nodded "yeah" was all he said.
After a couple of hours of dead silence nick began to stir causing the other two dozed off brothers to wake up.
"No!" Nick yelled quietly. Joe and Kevin sat and watched wondering if he was going to go back to sleep.
"Please!...don't leave me!" Nick yelled loud this time.
Nicks body started to jerk like he was trying to reach out to someone.
"PLEASE!....I loved you!" He whimpered.
Nick started to break down in his sleep and Kevin had enough so he shook nick awake.
"Come on nick, wake up" Kevin said gently shaking his shoulder.
Nick shot up with a start and looked around before hissing.
He looked down at his hand and saw the blood stains.
There we're cuts all over his hand.
"Don't worry, we will get you cleaned up" he heard someone say.
Nick burrowed his brows in confusion and looked behind him to see both of his older brothers.
"Why are you guys here?" He said confused.
All he remembered was going to the bathroom and from then on he couldn't remember.
Joe and Kevin looked at each other knowing what was going on.
Nick stood up with weak legs so he wobbled.
He stood though and looked at the bed really scared now.
"Why the hell is the bed burned?!" He asked.
But before he could get an answer he rushed off downstairs.
Kevin and Joe ran after him very closely.
Nick walked into the clean living room with raised eyebrows.
He didn't remember cleaning but maybe he did.
He looked around before seeing something. He walked over and crouched down.
He felt tears well up in his eyes. It was there picture from there first date broken in half and destroyed.
Tears slipped past his eyes and trailed down to his chin.
Just then everything came rushing back to him. The mirror, the mess, the gasoline and the bed, him calling his brothers, and all of the pain.
He dropped the picture and turned around.
Joe could kick himself right now, he didn't see the picture so he didn't throw it away.
Now nick was reminded of everything.
Nick sniffled and looked at his feet. The thing was, was that he didn't quite feel all of the pressure on his chest anymore.
He somehow felt a little better. Well that was before his mouth became dry and his stomach started to act up.
He looked up at Kevin and held his stomach.
"It's ok nick, it's just your nerves" Kevin said already with a bucket in his hand.
Kevin set the bucket down in front of nick and gently pushed nick down towards it.
Nick grabbed Kevins hand and then felt everything he consumed come up and into the bucket.
He vomited harshly until there was no more.
Kevin rubbed his back while Joe got him clothes.
Joe came back down and nick was sitting leaned back into Kevin for support.
"Here you go nick" joe said handing him the change of clothes.
Nick grabbed them and changed. He leaned back into the warmth of his older brother once again and sighed.
"Are break ups always this bad?" He asked fidgeting with his hoodie.
Kevin shook his head "it depends nick. Most of the time they are but also sometimes they aren't. It all kinda depends on the people and what necessarily happened" Kevin said.
"I loved her" nick mumbled turning his head into Kevin's shoulder.
Kevin hugged nick "I know Nicky and it's going to hurt but your such a strong person and will get through this. Honestly it was her loss because you are a very special person. Just wait nick, soon you won't even look back and you will find your true love, your going to get married and have beautiful children" Kevin said.
Nick thought about it and nodded. Even though he knew it was going to hurt for a bit, he had his family and his fan base that cared about him so much.
Joe while they were talking decided to wrap nicks hand. Nick breathed in a deep breath and let it go.
"Your going to stay with Joe for a bit, just until your ok again and then you can come back" Kevin explained.
Nick nodded knowing it was for the best.
"Ok" he said looking around the room for the last time in awhile.
~A few Months Later~
Nick had grown so much and used his heartbreak to his advantage.
He put his emotions into his music and was slowly but surely becoming himself again.
The last few months were hard but Kevin and Joe made sure that they were there for him always.
Even if that meant Joe getting up at 3 in the morning to wake nick up from a nightmare.
Both Joe and Kevin watched his brother slowly but surely fall in love again with Priyanka.
They both knew that she was the one and many people would find that weird but no one else knew nick like they do.
A/n~ welp, there it is. I hope you enjoyed this sad, depressing story of mine.
Let me know what you think and don't worry I already have another chapter almost done.
Comment, Vote, Suggest!
~Your JoeBro Fan :)