KEVIN
"It's been a while since I've watched Inception..." I whispered to myself, scrolling through my streaming app. "Oh, but Interstellar... Maybe Spy..." I continued to weigh my options, then decided on Inception. As I started the movie, I glanced over at the time on my watch.
8:30 PM
I'd only been outside of Fawn's door for about twenty minutes, and I had used that time to look over my schedule for next week. This was a good opportunity to get my things in order, while I gave Fawn some time to just be, as well as show her that I was serious about her.
My plan was simple; sit out here as long as possible, and wait for her to at least tell me what she needed. Well, at least until midnight at the latest. I figured any longer than that and I'd seem like some kind of a creep.
"So, if I see her at this time in the morning, then I'll be able to make that basketball game with my old resident class..." I said to myself, glaring at my calendar. I was so used to working all day that I didn't realize I kind of overbooked myself. I made all this time for my patients that I hadn't done much with my friends or family recently. Aside from my lunch with Rudy early today.
It took me a while, but I finally finished arranging my schedule to fit in a social life. And with plenty of time left to watch my movie.
"Here we go..." I rubbed my hands together as it started, and got ready to possibly be confused. But, this time would be different, because every time I watched Inception I understood it more. Worst case, I'd just look up the explanations.
Twenty or so minutes into the movie, I heard Ami crying behind the door. I tried to ignore it, since it had nothing to do with me. But she was so loud I could hear it through my headphones.
"Maybe I need new headphones..."
"How do I know you can deliver?"
"You don't... But I can. So, do you want to take a leap of faith..."
WAAHHHHH!
Ami continued to cry. I felt concerned at this point, because something might've been very wrong.
Was Fawn okay? Did she pass out or lock herself in the bathroom and...?
I paused the movie, then stood in front of the door, ready to break it down. I was about to knock when I heard the sound of Fawn's voice, singing to her baby. It was barely legible from where I stood, but I could still make out her voice.
"Shhhh... You are so loved baby girl..."
My body relaxed, and I went back into my position on the floor. As soon as I sat down, my stomach started complaining.
"Welp. Might as well order something."
******
"Thanks man," I gave the delivery driver a twenty as he handed me my bag of Korean take out. He gave me a big smile, "no problem. That's a generous tip."
I shrugged, "you deserve it."
"Have a good night," he said, turning to leave.
I sat back down on the ground, unlocking my phone to continue my movie as I ate my dinner. Since my earbuds were in, I didn't notice the elevator arriving on the floor we were on. I also didn't notice the driver walking back toward me until I saw a shadow on my screen.
And I swear my soul escaped me.
"Geez! You tryna give me a heart attack?" I clutched at my chest as I looked at the guy. He laughed, "my bad, I mean no harm."
He looked down at me, then at the door on my back.
"Are you okay?"
I squared my shoulders, "why do you ask?"
He shook his head, "it's hard not to notice someone sitting outside a condo, on the floor, eating food they just tipped twenty bucks on."
He had me there. Frankly, I was lucky none of Fawn's neighbours had come out yet, because most of them would probably assume my intentions were not good. I figured the only reason security hadn't come to kick me out was either because they couldn't see me in their cameras, or because I was someone they recognized.
Either way, this whole situation was odd if you were looking in from the outside of it.
Sighing, I ran my hands through my hair. I turned to him and shrugged, "I guess you could say I'm having a... Fight with my girlfriend."
It would take too long to explain our relationship.
He gave me a slow, knowing nod, "I feel that. Did she kick you out?"
"I'm giving her some space. But, I don't want to leave yet. I'm-"
"Showing her you're committed, right?"
I smiled, "yeah... Hopefully, she lets me in."
He leaned down, clapped my shoulder, then stood up and walked off. His timing was perfect, as the elevator opened right as he walked up to it. I watched as he walked in.
The doors started to close, but then his hand held the elevator open. He stuck his head out and smiled at me, "good luck."
"Thanks," I called back.
"It's always nice to meet kind strangers... Back to dinner and a movie..."
I set up my phone again, and started digging into my jajangmyeon when the wall fell out behind my back. I managed to hold my food up as I fell, before hands reached down to grab the food and keep me from hitting the ground.
My eyes moved up, and they were met with Fawn's. We stared at each other for a while, her hands on my food, mine on my phone and her door frame.
The sound of little hands tapping against the ground was heard, and then Ami's little baby hands were on my face.
Wet little baby hands.
"A bah bah."
She moved her hands, then clapped them back onto my cheeks.
Two slaps.
Must be good luck.
Her drool fell onto my face as she smiled down at me, then looked over at Fawn, "mama?!"
Fawn pushed me up, then went into the kitchen with Ami crawling behind her. I stood up, dusted myself off, then grabbed my things and walked into the condo. My hand reached to shut the door, but I hesitated.
As much as I was glad she opened the door, I still wasn't sure how welcome I was.
Fawn walked back towards me, "can you close the door, please?"
I pushed it, then turned the lock, and I tried not to smile too much. It was clear that she had questions about the food, because her eyes seemed glued to the bag in my hand.
"I ordered enough for two."
Her eyes met mine, and they looked much less red than before. Which was good, she had at least stopped crying. "You ordered food for two?"
I shrugged, "I wasn't sure how long I'd be waiting outside your door."
She laughed, in spite of herself, and gestured for me to really come into her place. I took off my shoes, then jacket, and brought the food to her island counter. Fawn picked Ami up and walked over to where I was.
Her expression was soft as she spoke, "how long were you planning to stay out there?"
I touched her waist, then closed most of the distance between us. My eyes searched hers, "I'd stay out there for as long as it would take for you to let me in... But, past midnight might've been pushing it so..."
She sucked in a breath, and I found myself moving closer to her. Finally, our lips touched, and she moaned softly into me.
"You're..." Fawn sighed, and the feel of her hand on my cheek sent shivers down my spine. "Kevin... Thank you. I thought you'd get tired of me and my drama."
I shook my head. "Fawn, why were you crying?"
Her gaze fell, and she stepped away from me. My heart sank, and it felt like we'd taken too many steps back in the progress I thought we'd made. I watched her and Ami as they disappeared down the hall.
"Shit!"
It was at times like this when I really understood people that gave up on vulnerability.
Eventually, the mental kicking of myself got tiring, and I figured I should just leave. Just as I was grabbing my phone, Fawn came out of the hall she'd gone into before.
"Sorry," she started, "I wanted to put Ami to sleep first."
She looked up at me, "I should've said something."
I opened my mouth to respond when she took my hand and pulled me into the living room. She sat down, then patted the spot beside her. I let myself fall into the spot, and rested my hand against her bare thigh below the hem of her shorts.
"I'm glad you're here," she said as she turned, resting her head on my chest. I reached out to move a few strands of her from her face to behind her ear and she smiled. "So, about earlier..."
"I'm listening," I said quietly.
She tipped her head a bit so that our eyes met.
"It's Ami's birth mom... We met."
*********