Sofia was annoyed. Frustrated. And of course angry. She badly wanted to brew that potion with the strange instructions one of her students provided, but the thought of seeing Severus gave her anxiety. However no matter how angry she was she couldn't shake the urgent need to hear his deep voice again or simply be in his presence. A part of her wanted to forget that kiss. But she knew that, that part of her never outweighed the fact that she painfully wanted to feel his lips on hers again. She continuously criticized herself for that feeling of want, but there was nothing she could do about it. There was a fire in her, a mix of anger and lust she assumed. She could no longer deny to herself that she had to know what was going through Severus' mind. Grabbing the exam she confidently walked to the dungeons. Right before she was about to knock she stopped herself realizing she didn't have a clear plan in mind. Her impatience overrode her conscious assumptions as she pushed open the door. To her surprise, Severus wasn't there. Must be in his office, she thought. She proceeded to try to push the thought of him away as she began gathering the ingredients for the potion, closely following the student's instructions. Right as she was about to grab the last ingredient she heard the door swing open. Freezing in her steps, she quickly pretended to ignore the sound, focusing on whatever she was holding in her hand. Internally, she was hoping that Severus would start a conversation with her about what happened that night. Wishing that he would explain everything to her.
Severus walked by Sofia without even glancing at her. He sat on his desk and begun writing something in one of this books. Sofia was in utter disbelief, her anger quickly rising inside her again. Severus didn't know what to do. He could feel Sofia's eyes on him as he continued to write something meaningless on the parchment, knowing that if he were to make eye contact with her he would no longer be able to withstand his affection and either end up pushing her away once again or do something worse than that kiss. Meanwhile Sofia was getting increasingly impatient. Just as she was about to say something Severus spoke first.
"Did you mark the N.E.W.T.'s which I left for you?" He spoke under his breath, forcing himself to continue looking down at the parchment. Sofia's mouth gaped open, how could he just sit there and continue giving orders she thought. She decided to indulge him in this little game and try to see how far she could take it.
"Yes. I'm on my last one actually." She pursed her lips, waiting for a second as she heard him hum. Her nose drills were flaring as her eyebrows were slowly itching higher and higher up her forehead in disbelief, watching him calmly sit here, writing something, basically ignoring her presence. Sofia scanned the room searching for something she could ask for. "Where did you leave the Syrup of Hellebore?" Sofia knew very well where it was, she was staring right at it on the bottom shelf.
"Bottom shelf. Towards the left." He muttered, as he waited to hear Sofia move. After a few seconds had passed he noticed with the corner of his eye that she simply stood in front of him, hand on her hip, head cocked to the side. Sighing, he finally decided to look up at her. "Well, are you not going to get it?" He dragged the 't'. Sofia was now livid. She clenched her teeth, analyzing what her next move should be. Unfortunately, Sofia was never great at thinking before she spoke.
"Are you not going to acknowledge what happened?" Severus visibly stiffened, taken back at Sofia being so upfront.
"Sofia-"
"I'm hoping there's a good explanation,"She cautioned. "Because I have been rattling my brain trying to figure out whatever that was and so far I've got nothing." She finally burst. Her breathing was shaky, as she focused on holding herself back from raising her voice.
"Sofia." He slowly placed his quill down. "There are many things which I would like to say to you, especially now, but unfortunately, I cant."
"Don't treat me like one of your students, speak, Severus." She angrily sneered.
"I can't Sofia." He greeted through his teeth, holding himself back from simply sending her away.
"You cant?" She chuckled. "What do you mean you can't?" She mocked him.
"There are many things which you are still unaware of." He was beginning to get irritated, trying to hold back all of the things he wanted her to know. Knowing that if she continued she would get it out of him eventually or lead him to have another outburst.
"Then tell me!" She finally raised her voice. "Tell me everything."
"Now is not the time Sofia." He watched her as she seemed speechless, she paced a few steps to the left as she angrily raked her hand through her hair.
"So what, you just want me to sit around and wait?" He simply held her angry gaze. Her hands dropped to her sides. "Wonderful." She whispered to herself as her arms dropped. " You do things, strange things, and then you expect for people to just move on, and not think anything of it..."she began to ramble to herself before Severus sighed loudly.
"Breathe Sofia." He tried to calm her, it was hard for him to see her like that. Especially as he knew that it was all due to his actions. He watched as his attempt to calm her only angered her more. She looked at him, as her eyes narrowed.
"Coward!" she hissed ya him. Suddenly Severus was no longer frustrated, he felt the familiar flame of anger ignite in him. Pushing his chair back, he swiftly got up and walked across the room.
"You should watch you mouth." His menacing voice warned her, as he pointed his finger.
"Or what?" She gritted through her teeth. He walked up closer to her, his tall frame looming over her in a threatening manner.
"You have absolutely no idea how difficult this is for me." He almost whispered his black eyes aggressively scanning her features.
"Oh, and you think this is easy for me?" She laughed again, stepping closer to him. "You invite me to your office for wine, talk to me for hours-" She paused, as both of them knew where she was going with this."-kiss me-" she looked at him, examining his expression. "-and then just...-" She was at a loss for words, her eyes frantically darting from one side of the room to another as she placed her hand on her forehead. He shut his eyes momentarily, realizing that he could once more smell her perfume. She was so close to him he could almost remember how her skin felt at his fingertips.
"I don't know what to do Sofia." He whispered. Her grey eyes darted to his, her expression suddenly softening. She could sense that he was no longer angry. He seemed somewhat conflicted. She looked down for a second. Sofia was unsure of what was going through her mind. On impulse she took a step closer to him, completely closing the small space they had between their bodies. She reached her hands up to the collar of his black frock pulling him down towards her. Within mere seconds her lips were on his once more. Both of them suddenly reliving that night. Eyes shut as their lips moved in unison. Both indulging in the feeling of adrenalin and lust. Severus' hands quickly found their way to Sofia's waist firmly pulling her in closer. Her hands softly moved up to caress his neck as she continued to kiss him. Both of them were completely lost for a moment. Time stood still as the room was filled with deafening silence. Severus tried to pull her in even closer as his arms snaked around her body.
No matter how much Sofia was longing to continue kissing the man, to her own surprise she softly pulled away from his lips, feeling his arms around her waist tightly holding her close to him. At that moment she felt more secure and wanted than she did in her whole life. Slowly, she lifted her eyes to his face.
"How about now?" She asked referring to his statement before. Her eyes were pleading for Severus to give her the answer she wanted. Needed. The seconds which passed felt like a century for Sofia. No matter how badly she wanted him to grab her and kiss her again, or simply speak, he abruptly looked away from her. He hesitantly removed his hands from her waist taking a small step back. Sofia was suddenly welcomed by a familiar feeling of dread. Sighing, she looked down at her feet, with nothing else to say to him. Now having done everything in her power to figure him out, she felt completely defeated.
For Severus, it was torture to see that he had put her in this position. Wanting with all his might to once more place his hands on her, pulling her in close and erasing the emotion he could sense from her eyes. But he knew very well, that if he were to do that without fully accepting all possible implications it would end up hurting her more.
Sofia bit the inside of her cheek, as she realized she had once more made a fool of herself. Slowly walking around him she made her way towards the door. As she pulled the heavy door open she suddenly couldn't stop herself from speaking again.
"I will be leaving for Azkaban this Friday. 11 am." She firmly finished exiting the classroom. She didn't know what possessed her to say that, but unfortunately, she simply couldn't help herself.
Severus was in a trance. Without thinking clearly, he grabbed the closest thing to him and threw it at the wall. The vial quickly shattered in front of him, the sharp noise making him wince. After exhaling a few breaths of frustration, he reluctantly sat on one of the chairs, massaging his temples. Sitting in complete silence.
In the hallway, Sofia heard the faint sound of glass shattering. Assuming that he had simply knocked something over, she proceeded to ignore it, slowly making her way back to her quarters.
Days had passed as Sofia isolated herself in her room. She managed to quickly pick up as many exams as she could from the potions classroom one evening whilst Severus wasn't around. Zinky would bring Sofia food twice a day whilst she silently read books or marked endless papers.
Severus had a different way of dealing with himself. He had once more repeated his trip to Hogsmeade, picking up some Firewhiskey. However he had no intention of repeating the day where he had missed two of his classes. Instead, he paced himself hoping that somehow the alcohol would help him understand what he should do. Knowing that Sofia was worth so much more than his indecisiveness, only made it harder for him. Severus knew that he wanted Sofia in every way possible. What he couldn't understand is; if this was truly something which would make both of them content? Instead of completely demolishing their professional relationship and fully putting Albus' plans at stake.
Soon enough Friday had come. Severus and Sofia both woke up extremely early that morning. Sofia had convinced herself that today was the day she not only would have to face her insane father, but also the day she would maybe see Severus again and understand his underlying intentions. All morning, she constantly scolded herself for inviting him to come with her Something inside of Sofia kept reminding her that if he were to show up today, it would give her somewhat of a small clue as to what he truly wanted. Severus seemed to gather the same thought. He knew that if he were to stand by her side in Azkaban it would be an obvious sigh for Sofia that he didn't want to leave her with her own assumptions or abandon his feelings.
After getting dressed Sofia silently sat on her bed, painfully watching as the clock ticked. 10:47. She nervously tapped her foot on the floor, her head feeling like it would explode. Her mind was plagued with images of her father and Severus. Patiently waiting for the clock to strike 11 seemed impossible to her. Abruptly getting up she walked around her room, focusing on getting her mind of everything that seemed to drive her mad. She walked endless laps around her bed glancing back at the clock every second. Soon enough the clock in her room struck 11. She could hear the clock tower at Hogwarts chime the same thing loudly above her. After it was done chiming she waited.
And waited.
And waited.