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آواز سے لگتا تھا کہ ہمدرد ہے کوٸ
پلٹا تو میری پشت پہ تلوار گڑی تھی۔
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Life.
It's nothing but a phase of test from Almighty Allah. Sometimes there's darkness and sometimes there's light but Alas! She can never know how it's like to see the light as her sight is always full of darkness.
Cold freezing breeze swirled pass her. As the girl wrapped the shawl around her tightly standing near her window. She wanted to count the stars and feel the beauty of the moon but everyone is not lucky enough to see them but those who are lucky enough don't value such precious things as it is so normal for them.
She can feel the night dawning at her. The only indication was the cold wind, chirping of insects and her wandering heart. Her mother used to tell her that the nights are most beautiful as the stars littered the sky and moon shines brightly for the wanderers passerby.
She can feel the cold soft light of the moon, which meant the moon is full maybe or maybe not.
Life was beautiful when her parents were beside her. Not once they let her dwell upon her disability. Always telling her that she's unique and most preciously beautiful in her own way.
Now in this stage of life. She often thought that maybe her parents lied to her. Maybe they said everything to make her feel special.
But when they were gone from her life. When Allah took them away from her. The girl was broken.
After them she really realized that she's blind the thing she called her uniqueness was nothing more than a disability.
Her aunt who brought the girl at her home after her parents death made it clear to her everyday that how big of a burden she is.
With her parents she thought she was beautiful just like an angel according to her baba but her aunt never called her beautiful instead she used to call her. 'Ugly blind piece of trash, good for nothing burden' And what not.
Where her parents used to cherish her like a princess, where they used to boost up her confidence. Her aunt made it shatter and drilled the confidence, self esteem and happiness out of the girl as she made the girl believe that she's ugly, blind and can't even do any work so she's nothing more than a burden.
Twelve years of her parents words were pressed down in the bottom of her soul and the five years of her aunts cruel words now resides in her soul.
Often times when her aunts remarks won't work on the girl. She would hurt her, slap her.
Often times when something bad happened to the aunt and her son Jameel. They would blame the girl, calling her a black curse on their family.
Never the girl thought that her aunt who is her Uncle's wife would become such horrible person towards her. She often used to say to her aunt that, 'Let me go. I'll leave and stay in the nursery' But no. Her aunt only once mentioned about certain insurance money for the girl. Maybe her aunts get some money her parents left for her. That is the only reason her aunt was keeping her.
Her mother was the only child just like her so the girl didn't have any relative from that side and her father had a brother who died long ago but his wife is the one who's now keeping the girl.
Her aunt is poor. They live in a small apartment of two rooms. One room is occupied by auntie and one is occupied by Jameel. Yet they were kind enough to let her stay in the store room rather than the streets.
Store room or more like her room. It isn't big enough to fit a bed, nor they were willing to give her any. A small mattress is placed in one corner on the floor, with two small cabinets place under the window. The girl used that cabinets as her cupboard as she didn't have much things of her own. The cabinet also provides as a seat for her to sit on at nights near the window. A small table is placed near her mattress where her Quran is placed. A special type of Quran with words popped out a bit for blinds to touch, feel and read. Her father had gifted her this Quran on her fifth birthday.
She was so glad that her mother thought her how to read the Quran. She wasn't blind before as her parents were her sight as they explained everything to her with such softness and happiness that the girl never felt she was blind. But when they died they took her sight along with them.
She only knows the world as much as her parents had elaborated it to her.
Her aunt isn't kind enough to elaborate a single color as she was always busy in telling about how ugly and burden full soul the girl is.
Her aunt is one thing but her son Jameel who do nothing but stays at home was another mean person she came across. In one place he call her ugly and bitch and in second place he would try to touch her when she's off guard.
He first tried to harass her when she turned eighteen. The man she used to call bhai (brother) was nothing but a ridiculous man. When she told auntie about Jameel's behavior. Auntie dismissed it saying 'who would like to touch a garbage like you' at that time she realized, she can't stay there anymore.
So she ran. She ran away from them but how far can a blind person go, that to a young girl who is vulnerable for anyone around. Her so called family caught her before she could run any further.
That day was the worst day of her life. Her aunt had beaten her with belt so much that her back was bleeding and not only that. The woman starved the girl in her storeroom for two consecutive days.
From than on wards her life had gotten worst. Her aunt would find small mistakes to punish the girl and once when unintentionally the girl burned her aunt's shirt while ironing. The woman brutally burned the girl's hand with the same iron.
She knows she can't runaway from them and she had to get away from Jameel for the time being when her aunt is at work.
The girl used to go to the near by mosque for Jummah (Friday) prayers. There she asked for a job, any job without even a pay was acceptable for her just to get away from Jameel. The people were kind enough as they gave her a job as a teacher. She has her own period where she thought good ethics and Islamic deeds to the children.
In this way when her aunt goes to work the girl come here in the mosque and will reach home when her aunt comes back. First her aunt was against it, but the girl gave the few amount of money she received to her. Only that's why her aunt allowed her to do that work which she was thankful to Allah and every month she gave her income to her aunt.
Now as the girl had turned nineteen her aunt who is an old traditional woman would everyday curse the girl's fate saying. No one is going to ask for the hand of a 'blind ugly bitch like you' Girls get married at the age of seventeen and eighteen and here you are nineteen and a cursed burden on our head. These were her words everyday.
Abrupt opening of the door had her tensing as she immediately stood up feeling her heart in her throat. Expecting the worst but the girl slightly relaxed hearing her aunt's sharp voice.
"Eh! Anisah!" The girl flinched at the woman's tone as she came forward standing in front of the girl, whose head was bowed down in tension.
"Wake up early tomorrow. There's a man whom I know very well, has asked your hand in marriage. He will be coming tomorrow to see you. So just make your ugly self look presentable." Her aunt Shazia spat at the girl's face venomously as she left the storeroom with a loud thud of the closing door.
Anisah felt bitter tears forming in her eyes as she controlled her building sobs. That night she prayed and prayed to Almighty Allah to save her from this hell. To send an angel to protect her from these people.
The girl dozed of on the praying mat seeing her parents face she whispered.
"Your Anisah is fading."
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