Have you ever been so lost in a nightmare, so scared of the night that as soon as your eyes open you instantly sit up? Heart in your throat, tears sliding down your cheeks and your hands gripping the bed sheets?
Amelia did every night she closed her eyes. The fear that gripped her body was enough to cause a heart attack but her body kept going. The war had left her scarred beneath her skin, it was etched in her bones and seared into her brain. Damage.
This time the dream had changed. Instead of being trapped with screaming men she was trapped with Tommy Shelby. Every time she ran across the tent to save him he would disappear, her screams echoing through her own ears.
It meant nothing, she told herself. Amelia was just dreaming of him because he was the last person she saw on a stressful day. Biting her lip she swallowed the hurt she was feeling and swung her legs out of the bed.
Still dazed she let herself think about him. Since she arrived he had been there every step of the way. Whether it was his warning, Amelia throwing a drink at his face, his midnight kiss, pulling a bullet out of his chest-
Amelia closed her eyes. It was stupid to think about him when she was this vulnerable. Tommy clearly only sought her attention when he required information or an emotional release. It was draining but she didn't know how to stop.
There was an envelope on her kitchen table that she had to deliver to him today and knew that in doing so she was giving in to him.
—
Amelia was heading towards the Garrison after work with the envelope burning into her side. The plan was to drop it into Tommy and leave. There was no need for pleasantries.
As soon as she stepped in there was a glass of whiskey placed in her hands by Arthur and she was ushered into the snug where Tommy was waiting for her.
As she walked in he admired the way she always held herself firm. Amelia was hard to read and she only let you see flickers and he liked that. Preferred the challenge.
"Sit, please" and she sat with the envelope on her lap.
Cutting right to the chase she spoke up "I found the info you required...there is some bad news"
Tommy sat up straighter and motioned for her to carry on.
"Polly's son Michael is alive and well, he lives only an hour from here. The daughter unfortunately passed recently overseas- I don't have much information on the how but her file is on its way" and Amelia slipped Micheal's file across the table.
Tommy eyed her and thought about the information she was relaying. His eyes flickered to the file and he wondered how Polly would take to the death of her daughter.
Amelia suddenly stood up and grabbed her bag.
"Where are you going?" He asked, his tone abrupt and firm.
Amelia sighed "I'm going home" and she turned to leave but he stood up quickly and pressed his palm firmly to the door.
Rolling her eyes she turned to him "Look I'm really not in the mood-"
"Not a word to anyone about this" he growled, his eyes slipping between her eyes to her lips.
Amelia rolled her eyes and pressed herself close to him, her hand slipping by his waist and grabbing at the door handle.
"Excuse me" but she didn't wait before she gently opened the door, forcing him to step a side.
As she entered back intro he pub she said bye to Arthur and John before she left.
—-
Isiah slipped into the pub to meet John, taking off his hat he accepted a beer from Arthur.
"Just passed nurse Crostwell" he whistled and licked his lips "Now that's a woman" and he took a sip of beer, ignoring the looks from John and Arthur.
"Mate" John started
"Just look at er', like god made her with his bare ands'. You reckon she'll go out with me John? I could loosen her up a bit" and he laughed to himself at the thought of having his way with her.
John gulped as he saw his brother Tommy stood behind Isiah. John knew that his brother was sensitive when it came to the nurse.
"You could always try" Tommy said from behind, a cigarette dangling from his lips.
Isiah turned around with a goofy grin, still ignoring the looks he was getting "You reckon I ave' a shot then Tommy?"
" I said you could try but you won't" Tommy said as he thumped Isiah a little too roughly on the back. Isiah coughed, quickly realising he had overstepped.
Tommy slipped away and left Isiah to burn in his embarrassment with his brothers.
"Fuckin' ell man" Arthur groaned into his whiskey. "Take a hint will ya"
"I didn't know Arthur! Fuck!"
John laughed, completely giddy with his friends embarrassment. "That was brilliant, truly was"
—-
Tommy was heading back to the betting den when he suddenly felt the urge to be as far away from his office. Growling he made his way to see her, he needed to see her. Isiah had rubbed him the wrong way and he needed to prove this to himself.
As he stood in front for her door he questioned whether this was another mistake. Anyone close to him right now was at risk and pulling her in was like putting the gun to her head.
Closing his eyes he lifted his hand to her door and knocked.
A few moments later she opened the door to him.
As soon as the door opened and he saw her there he instantly changed his mind. Whether it was the way her hair framed her delicate face when it was down or her soft looking lips, he knew that he couldn't drag her in.
"What's wrong?" She asked, her hand reaching out for him. The way her eyes darkened when she was worried was mesmerizing.
"Nothing" and he shook her off. "When you get the file on Polly's daughter send it my way. Id of said earlier but you ran off" and he blew smoke out of the side of his mouth to avoid her.
Amelia rolled her eyes at him "Yes sir" she mocked "anything else I can do for you?" And he didn't like the inflection or her tone. Amelia was losing patience for his demanding ways.
Tommy smirked, she was always so fiery with him. Most women in Small Heath would cower or try to seduce him but she cut straight to the chase.
It was then when he realised he wasn't going to be able to walk away. Ignoring the voice in his head he pushed passed her and entered her house. Nobody would of seen this, he was certain he was careful.
As soon as he heard the front door click he rounded on her and pulled her in, he was quick as he pressed his lips to hers. The tension he felt in his body left as he pushed her against the door, his hands slipped to her waist.
Amelia stepped right into sync with him but this time she bit at his bottom lip, the need to hurt him only a little. It only spurred him on and his hands went to the back of her hair and he pulled slightly.
Tommy felt her hands on his face and he marveled at her delicate touch but he couldn't match it. The need for more was too strong.
Amelia was the one the one to pull away as he intensified the kiss. As soon as his eyes opened up she slapped him hard across the face. It stung.
"Stop this! Just stop it. I can't keep playing this game with you" and she shoved his chest, trying to free up some space between them.
Tommy's eye's blazed as his cheek stung. Knowing that he deserved it didn't make it any better. Refusing to grant her space he stood there and glared.
"I'm not playing a fucking game Amelia. You're the one playing games" he sneered, his jaw tightening with anger.
Amelia scoffed at his accusation and wasted no time "Don't turn this on me Shelby, you only know business. A normal person would of asked me on a date or better yet not turned up on my door step every night to kiss me!" and she shoved him again. "Every time you act like a normal person you turn it into business" she huffed. "I'm not a fucking whore that you can call upon when your life gets a little hard or you get bored"
Amelia glared back, ready to welcome the argument. It was bubbling over now between the both of them and she wanted desperately to hear his side of things. Amelia could see that he was so close to boiling point and she wanted to see it. Instead he placed his cap on, shoved by her and left.
Amelia stood in her foyer in complete silence. Tommy Shelby had not argued back, he hadn't argued that he didn't see her as a whore and that his feelings where pure. It hurt like a kick to the stomach when she realised that in simple terms he had confirmed she was just a part of his business.
----
Amelia and Ada where sat at the Garrison three days later with Arthur at the bar. After a long day Ada had dragged Amelia to the pub for a few drinks and promised her that it would just be a few drinks.
"How's Pol?" Arthur asked Ada as he leaned on the bar.
"She's alright but still pissed at Tommy. All she want's is Micheal's bloody address"
Amelia sipped her drink and pretended to look around the busy pub as she didn't feel privy to this private conversation.
"He as' his reasons Ada you know that"
"It's her son Arthur! our blood"
Amelia peeped a little at Arthur and could see that he agreed with his sister but there was nothing he could do. Everyone did as Tommy said and she almost scoffed out loud at the thought. The rest of the Shelby family had no idea that the information had come from Amelia and she would keep it that way.
"Alright Arthur" Isiah greeted Arthur as he slipped into the pub and made his way over.
"Alright Isiah, where's our John?" Arthur asked as he passed Isiah a pint. Amelia eye'd Isiah and noted that he seemed a lot younger than the rest of the blinders.
"Putting the car away" Isiah mumbled, his eye's catching Amelia's and then quickly looking away. Ada spotted this and instantly jumped on it.
"Isiah here has a crush on ya Amelia, told our John that he would love to loosen ya up a bit" and Ada winked at Amelia
Amelia and Isiah both blushed while Arthur groaned.
"Ada!" Amelia hissed as she shoved her friend slightly.
"Fuck sakes Ada" Isiah groaned as he took his pint and scurried off to join a few men in the corner. Ada was beside herself with glee. John had told her a few days ago about Isiah's confession and she couldn't help herself.
Amelia let out a little nervous laugh and took a big sip of her whiskey "What did you say that for!?"
"Cause' she wanted to see him squirm!" Arthur laughed as he topped up his sisters drink.
"Oh c'mon Amelia it was just a bit of fun. You should be flattered that more than half the pub would love to have their wicked way with ya!"and she giggled uncontrollably.
Amelia blushed harder and covered her eye's with her hands.
"You're the devil Ada Shelby" and Amelia let out a little laugh at her friends teasing and welcomed her fresh drink "Next time try and save my blushes okay?"
Ada grinned and gently nudged Amelia "I'll try"
"Oi Arthur where the bloody hell is my drink on arrival?" John shouted as he entered the pub with his arms wide open, his toothpick dangling between his lips.
"Shut up you melt" Arthur shouted as he slid a pint across the bar to meet Johns hands.
"Alright girls?" John asked as he took off his hat and placed it on the bar.
"Where've you been?" Arthur asked cutting the pleasantries short.
"With Tommy, we had business out of the city" and both men looked at each other before nodding. They wouldn't talk about their business in front of Amelia as she wasn't family and she was okay with that.
Amelia tried to ignore the feeling in her stomach when his name was mentioned. Ignoring the hurt was easy, she did it everyday but ignoring him was proving to be difficult. There was only one decision to be made now.