Austin couldn't have been more wrong about me getting an ounce of sleep that night. Once I managed to muster up the strength to trail my shaking legs back to my bedroom, I found myself once again restless and wide awake.
Instead of spending my time fantasizing about what I could do with him, I was reliving each and every second of what I did do with him.
There was absolutely no way did I think things were going to escalate the way that it did. But as much as I tried to convince myself into believing that it was wrong in every way, I couldn't help the stupid grin that took over my face each time I remembered his lips on mine.
The feeling I felt brewing in the pit of my stomach was indescribable and like I had predicted, I was in deep shit.
As mind blowing as it was, I could not let this go any further.
I had to put my foot down and have a serious talk with Austin. I was here to do a job, not to do my boss and I had to make that clear.
That kiss was crossing the line, one I had promised I would never cross when I entered into this industry.
I had to try my best and ignore the butterflies that flew into my stomach every time I thought about him even if it killed me. I had to be strong if I wanted to keep working for him and keep things strictly business.
Maybe Austin had the right idea to ignore me when we first met. But I just had to open my big mouth to confront him and now I'm in the predicament that I'm in.
This was my own damn fault.
*****
I chuckled to myself as my alarm blared throughout the small bedroom. I had barely gotten about two hours of sleep and it was already time for me to wake up and start my day.
The indifference in my mind was hanging over my head as I woke up unsure how to feel.
I took a long hot shower to ease my thoughts and for a split second, I was able to tame my emotions.
Once I got out and finally dried off, I pulled on a pair of ripped light wash jeans and a black off the shoulder top. I took my time doing my makeup for once and I straightened my long dark brown locks.
It was around nine in the morning and the meeting with Bud Light was scheduled for ten thirty.
I couldn't help the surge of nerves that surrounded me at just the thought of facing Austin for the first time since our late night encounter.
I took a long breath to rid my anxiety and took my steps towards the stairs, leading into the kitchen.
I could hear a mix of muttering voices as I finally made my way down.
Adam, Chris, Jay and Austin were already awake and scattered in the kitchen as I came into their view.
My eyes lingered on Austin as he was clicking away on his cell phone.
How was it possible that he looked completely unphased and unbothered and I was standing here sweating bullets and blushing from head to toe.
"Hey Lee, morning." Adam was the first one to greet me.
"Hey Adam, good morning everyone." I answered as I looked around the room.
Austin took a long sip of his coffee as he leaned against the counter while the other guys responded with their greetings.
The same counter I was perched up on while he was pressed between my legs as we passionately explored each others mouths.
His eyes were glued to his phone as I walked towards his direction to reach the coffee maker sitting on the counter next to him.
Great so he's back to ignoring me.
I reached for an empty cup just barely brushing against his arm as I poured the hot steamy coffee.
You know what else is hot and steamy Lena? That damn kiss.
I could have punched my inner self in the throat if I had the opportunity, I thought as I rolled my eyes at myself internally.
I half expected him to move his arm away but he remained in place, avoiding my gaze at all costs.
I let out a small sigh, quiet enough for him not to hear before I walked away from him towards Chris where the sugar bowl was. I scooped a spoon full into my cup and stirred, as Chris gave me a small smile.
"Any hangover?" He asked, referring to our conversation from last night.
"Nope!" I replied with a grin. "Another half a glass was my limit and I stuck with it."
"Lena you're a lightweight and you know it." Adam shook his head, teasing me as he always did.
"I'm not even going to argue with you there. I literally can't stand being hungover so unfortunately my alcohol tolerance has shrunk over the years." I groaned.
I felt Austin's eyes on me as I now stood next to Chris. His face was emotionless and difficult to read out the corner of my eye. But I could not find the courage look him in the face.
Not yet.
I took a sip of my coffee as I heard footsteps down the stairs.
I saw Natalie walk into the kitchen, murmuring "good mornings" as she entered. I hadn't seen her in a little while as she was locked up in her room since her arguement with Austin. She didn't go to last night show or come down for the small party.
Jay was in the middle of explaining his pitch that he had been working on for Bud Light as I nodded my head, listening with one ear.
I noticed Natalie make her way over to Austin, pouring a cup of coffee as she raked him with her eyes.
"Austin can we talk?" I couldn't help but over hear as I saw her touch his arm from the corner of my eye.
His gaze shifted from his screen to her face as he shoved his phone in his pocket, giving her his full attention.
"What's up?" He answered lowly. I could barely make out what they were saying as they were murmuring quietly to each other.
"I'm sorry. I was completely wrong with the whole outfit situation. I know you weren't trying to get rid of me. I just felt like you didn't need me anymore." She pouted flirtatiously, making me want to throw up in my mouth.
"It's okay Natalie. I just wanna be able to do my own thing sometimes. That's all." Austin shrugged as he looked down at her.
"You forgive me?" She played with her hair like some sort of love sick school girl.
"Yeah we're good." Austin replied with a small smile.
I almost visibly rolled my eyes to the back of my head as she wrapped her arms around his neck to hug him. He awkwardly placed his hand on her upper back, returning the hug.
His eyes immediately caught mine as we exchanged glances.
I quickly looked away, taking a sip from my cup.
I wasn't jealous, I couldn't be, right?
Then why did have the burning urge to pull her off of him?
*****
The meeting with Bud Light was extremely long and packed with many different advertisement opportunities for Austin. He sat at the head of the table, a far but safe distance from where I was.
Jay had pitched his ideas for a collaborative merch collection with Posty Co. and everyone absolutely loved it.
Their design team was going to come up with a few different prints and present them to Austin once everything was finished.
I sat quietly through the meeting as I listened intently to everyone's conversations and thoughts. I bit down on my lip as I had some ideas of my own, but much too nervous to present them as the room was crowded with high level professionals.
"Lena did you wanna add anything?" Jay asked curiously as he must have noticed me deep in thought.
I was broken out of my trance as I suddenly noticed everyone bringing their attention to me.
I cleared my dry throat and swallowed hard, hoping I didn't sound completely ridiculous.
"Well I was thinking, what better way to advertise than a commercial? Austin's been thinking about getting into acting and this could be the perfect time to promote Bud Light with the superbowl coming up in a few months. Maybe something funny and lighthearted." I finally let out as everyone continued to stare at me.
"That's genius!" The head of marketing exclaimed as he grinned at me. "That sounds like a project I'm definitely interested in." He turned his head to Austin. "We'll be in touch of course once we figure out all the details. You would be perfect for our superbowl commercial. What do you think Austin?"
I felt Austin's eyes on me but I refused to look up at him. I didn't know if he was happy or upset about my suggestion but I relaxed in my seat once I heard his response.
"Thank you so much sir. You've got yourself a deal. It's always been my dream to be in a Bud Light commercial. And thank you to everyone for always being so welcoming to me anytime I come here. You guys are the best." He said as he looked around the room.
Once the meeting was over, and Austin was finished shaking what seemed like a hundred different hands, we finally headed back to the Air B and B.
I was thankful Austin and I were in two separate cars, allowing us to continue our avoidance.
"That was a great suggestion today Lena. Now looking back, it seemed like an obvious advertising move with Austin basically being the poster child for the company but Bud Light never suggested the idea and neither have we. So awesome job." Chris warmly smiled at me.
I grinned back, feeling proud of myself for the first time since joining this tour. "Thanks Chris."
"I also wanted to apologize for last night. I had a bit too much to drink and I didn't mean to speculate anything between you and Austin. I was out of line."
I weakly smiled this time around. If you only knew.
"It's okay Chris, really." I replied, my mind once again dwelling on last night's events.
Once we arrived to the Air B and B, I quickly made my way to my room, desperate for some time alone to wallow in my thoughts before we had to get ready to leave to prepare for that night's show.
As I sank down on my bed, I heard a quiet knock on my door.
Figuring it was Adam checking in with me, I shouted a loud "come in."
It was to my surprise when I saw none other than Austin himself, as the door cracked open.
His eyes found mine, mysterious as ever as he opened his mouth to speak.
"Hey. Can I come in?" He asked, a glimmer of hope laying beneath his dark blue irises.
"Yeah sure." I answered quietly, my heart very much in my lap.
He slowly walked over to my bed, sinking down across from me as his eyes continued to hold onto mine.
"I wanted to thank you for today. Your idea was incredible and it's something I never imagined I'd get the opportunity to do. I'm really happy you spoke up and shared what you were thinking. This is a huge step for me. So thank you Lena." He said quietly, kindness and appreciation now streaming from his face.
I swallowed the lump in my throat before I answered. "Oh you're welcome. I told you I'd get you into acting some way or the other."I shyly replied.
"I also wanted to apologize to you." He continued, his eyebrows furrowed.
Fuck here we go. He was going to apologize for kissing me and tell how much regret he has.
"Apologize for what?"
"For avoiding you today. I didn't really know to act around everyone else. I'm sorry for ignoring you but I just thought it would be easier to put up a front and pretend like nothing happened."
Is that what he was apologizing for? He wasn't sorry that he kissed me. He was sorry that he didn't speak to me today.
"Oh- it's okay." I said softly, studying his face for any type of answers as to how felt about what happened between us.
I bit down nervously on my bottom lip, trying to find the guts to tell him that last night was a mistake and it shouldn't ever happen again. I had to tell him before I found myself sinking even further into this complicated mess.
I had to stop those dangerous blue eyes from dictating my body and even worse, my emotions.
But my train of thought stopped in its tracks and I held my breath as I watched him inch closer to where I was sitting, his eyes holding my body hostage as he moved near me.
He reached his hands out toward my thighs, pulling me swiftly into his lap.
I let out a small gasp at his sudden actions but didn't dare protest as I felt a heavy rush of adrenaline entering my body.
I straddled his lap carefully, as I tried to balance myself on top of him. My arms instinctively wrapped around his neck, giving me deja vu of the previous night.
He cupped my ass with both hands giving it a gentle squeeze as he roughly captured my lips with his.
His tongue entered my mouth and swirled with my own as I held on to him tightly.
I moaned ever so slightly, melting my body into his and feeling myself fall deeper into the black hole of infatuation.
I suddenly pulled away, gasping for air as my chest retracted up and down. I opened my mouth to put a cold end what was happening between us.
His eyes were dark with lust and his pink lips swollen and wet. His chest heaved in unison with my own as we stared endlessly at each other.
"Austin-" I barely whispered as I tried to think of a way to talk some sense into him. As hot as the chemistry was between us, I had to put a stop to this. It was only going to end badly and I knew it.
But while I was giving myself an internal pep talk, searching for some sort of courage to form my words, his lips suddenly went to my neck, sucking feverishly on my bare skin.
A sensual moan escaped from my lips, causing me to grip onto his unruly curls.
"Hmm?" He hummed into my neck, continuing his assault.
"Don't stop."