I look at the clock.
I watch as every second passes in what seems faster than the last.
Every minute that passes shorter than the one before it. I look away from the clock, returning my gaze back to the ground.
Students all around me, with smiles across their faces as they watch the clock's hand move. Students asleep and some on the brink of sleep, they watch as the teacher's mouth moves, their eyes continually looking at the clock.
A thwack sound cuts through the air like a knife. My head shoots up to look at my teacher, her piercing eyes on me, her gaze doesn't waver as her jaw tightens. Her hand still holding the duster she had jammed on the board.
"Why don't you answer that one for us, Shaun," Miss Bellum hisses.
I run my hand through my hair and purse my lip whilst looking around the class. All eyes are now on me. I look back at my teacher before pinching the bridge of my nose. My palms sweat, my knees knock against each other. My gaze continually wonders to my classmates before returning to my teacher.
"May you please repeat the ques-"
The bell rings
I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. My heart-rate drops as I pack my books. A few students already running down the school halls and most students are on their way to the classroom door.
"Shaun, please stay behind. We have to talk," Miss Bellum states, looking at me with piercing eyes.
I drag my feet as I slowly move forward to the teacher's table. If I were to race with a snail at this speed, it would win.
I look back at the classroom where only a few students are still on their way out. I slow down my pace as they exit the class and I walk normally. I reach the teacher's table and stand there expecting what might be a lecture.
"Shaun," Miss Bellum pulls back her chair before sitting, "Tell me your score on the last test you wrote?"
I purse my lip.
"72%, Ma'am," I say this with my gaze fixated on my feet.
She takes off her square glasses and wipes her eyes with the back of her hand.
"The reason I asked you to stay behind was because of this. In case you haven't noticed, your grades are gradually decreasing."
I still have my eyes on the floor as I fiddle around with my thumbs. The sweating on my palms doesn't stop as I feel her eyes on me.
"You're still bothered by what happened to your father, aren't you?" Miss Bellum asks softly.
I remained silent.
"If you ever need anyone to talk to, know that I am here for you." She assures with worry written on her face.
"Yes, Ma'am."
"That's all you can go. If you ever need anyone to talk, remember, I'm here for you."
I nod and leave the classroom. My head is down as I walk through the corridors of my school. Several students walk in their groups, laughing and talking.
Two fists impact on my chest, I stumble a few steps back before dropping my books and following them down. My back strikes the floor as I close my eyes to fight back the pain.
"How's it going McGee," the voice chuckles, I can tell it is Chase. I open my eyes to see him as he strolls away.
I pick myself up; I try rubbing the throbbing area on my back whilst straightening it, putting in a great effort not to wince as I do this. I drop back down to collect my books, a hand helps me, I don't look up and see who it is.
"Somebody has a lot on his mind today," the helper says. I smile and look up to find Josh Brown, my best friend, eyeing me from above.
"I was just daydreaming."
"Daydreaming about Sarah and you," Josh scoffs, he takes a few of my books as we walk.
I smile, returning my gaze to the ground. My cheeks turn tomato red as I fight back a blush.
As we walk through the corridor, everybody greets Josh but doesn't greet me. It is as if the people cannot even see me walk with him and I would have it no other way.
Josh adjusts his biker glasses, the goggles' lenses are shaded black, keeping his black hair held back. They keep it from lying on his face, but he wears them for no such purpose.
Josh just wears the goggles because he thinks they look cool. Josh always has a bandanna hanging from his back pocket. He never goes a day without his goggles.
Everybody is dispersing, taking their routes home. Josh and I leave the school grounds after a quick stop at my locker. We embark on our walk home.
We hear only the sound of our feet on the ground as we walk. My gaze is on the ground, something I have been doing much lately. Josh keeps looking at me as we walk. He has noticed the change in my attitude ever since my father died.
"Are your parents going to come home as late as they usually do?" I ask.
"Yes, you know, as late as they usually do," Josh sighs "I enjoy getting gifts and money from them but I'd at least love them to be around every once in a while."
I nod, placing my hand on his shoulder, keeping it there long enough to make him look at me. He looks at me and sees the 'it's-going-to-be-okay' look I give him.
"What if my father isn't dead?" I ask, kicking a stone around hoping to reach home with it. My head jumps up as if the idea just explodes in my mind.
"What do you mean?" Josh asks, his eyebrows furrowed and gaze fixed on me.
"I mean, they never recovered his body. What if he survived the car crash?"
"He wouldn't just disappear if he did, he would be here with you." Josh asserts, "You know your father, he would do anything to be with you."
"It's possible, the car burnt to a measure that they couldn't determine if someone was in the car or not."
Josh shakes his head.
"You can't live your life hoping he will come back. If you want to sort out your life, the first step is moving on."
"I guess you're right," my head dropping again.
Josh looks at me with pitiful eyes. He must feel bad for destroying the little hope I had got. I smile, trying to let him know that all is well and he shouldn't worry.
Josh picks up his speed, noticing this, I follow his lead, increasing mine. "We're almost there," he beams, anticipation drawn all over his face. He reeks of it.
"Somebody is in a rush today," I mock, trying my best to imitate Josh's voice.
"Using my own lines and voice against me are we?" He mocks, giving me a shoulder jerk, "I must have forgotten to tell you I got a new video-game."
I roll my eyes.
"If it's anything like the last game you bought, I swear I'll shoot you."
My eyes widen as I quickly realise that I can't quite tell him why I'm in no rush to go home. I cross my fingers behind my back, hoping he doesn't question why.
We are now standing in front of Josh's yard. The area we lived in was a suburban area. A wide smile runs across Josh's face, his eyes filled with innocence as he looks at his home.
The corner of my eye catches a glimpse in a distance. A black muscle car was moving farther down the street. The car slows down as soon as we stop, when we turn to look at it, the Camaro continues like it did not just slow down at all.
"Josh check out that Camaro," I beam with my eyes wide open. "It is so cool, and it just so happens to be my favourite colour."
"Yeah, yeah," he urged, "You like muscle cars, we get it, now move along."
He grabs me by the arm and pulls me toward the house. I keep my eyes at the muscle car as I walk into the house.
My eyes wander, looking at the house's interior. The marble floor sparkles as if they throw around glitter. You could almost see your reflection from it. The chandelier hangs from the ceiling as the fans spin around, letting out a cool breeze.
Josh, not giving me much time to adore anything today, pulls me up the stairs by my hand. I try my best to stay on my feet as I continually trip.
We reach Josh's room, everything is on the floor and clothes are also on the bed. The smell of socks cloaks the room, making it hard to breathe. He makes his way towards a box of pizza on the floor of his room, kicks the box sliding it under his bed.
Josh opens the windows, a little embarrassed by the stench. He jumps on his bed as his hands roam around the bed. He uses his hands to search for something on the unmade bed.
His hand finally reaches a controller, and he hands it over to me. He takes the other for himself, making sure he is player 1.
I sit by the window, a chair I had placed here for a reason. I continually keep my eye outside, watching people pass. Time seems to fly by faster now, in no time, the sun descends.
The sun goes down, casting long shadows on the houses, the sun jumps for joy as it descends. The sunset makes the clouds turn orange and red, the sky sad as the sun rejoices.
"I have to go, same stuff tomorrow?"
"Yeah, see you in the morning. For once in your life, don't be so early," Josh begs, shaking his head.
I look across the street, there is no car at the front yard of my house. Her car isn't parked outside, it could happen she is not home or she has it in the garage already.
I see the black Camaro pass by my house now, its windows tainted black. My eyebrows furrow as I look at the car. I know that no-one in my area has a muscle car. What could it be doing here?
I leave Josh's house and cross the street, heading home. The neighbour's dog barks up a storm as I make it into my yard. Its chains holding it back from coming straight at me.
The trashcan by my house hasn't been collected yet. It gives off a foul stench that attracts flies to come to hover over it. I cover my nose as I dash past it and walk up the stairs to the door.
I take out my keys but before I put them in; I try opening the door. The door swings open, my head drops as I shake it, she's home. Taking one small step after the other, the sole of my shoe makes no sound as it connects with the floor.
I jump up the stairs almost as if I'm flying. I open the door to my room and throw my bag on top of my bed.
My room isn't at all the same as Josh's. Sure, the structure is the same, but it is tidier. Well, as tidy as it can get, sadly that isn't much.
My stomach grumbles, I place my hand over it trying to tell it to be patient. It listens to me and stops grumbling. I make my way to the kitchen, but passing by the living room sounded like a good idea.
When I pass there, I see my mother with a bamboo stick in hand whilst sitting on the navy couch. Acting like I didn't notice the stick, I greet like I usually do.
"Where have you been?" Mara interrogates.
I could tell by the tone of her voice that she was angry.
"I... um... was at... um... Josh's house," I stutter.
"Didn't I tell you to make your way straight home after school, from there then you could go to your own places?"
My mother has never told me anything like that, so I don't argue as she stands up and comes straight at me. She always makes up some excuse to beat me up. I don't know, maybe it makes her feel better for doing it.
Mara hits me with the bamboo stick. She keeps pushing me whilst hitting me continuously. She pushes me so hard that I fall and hit my head. I could feel a headache coming. I cover my face out of reflex.
I glimpse my mother's face; she wore a violent smile, a dark look that only a killer would have. The only thing that would make her feel any better would be to see my cry, I wouldn't want to give her the satisfaction.
I fight back tears as Mara keeps hitting me with the stick. Tears fall to the ground, and in no second the tears are mixed with blood.
Cuts start opening up on my back. I can feel my skin crack as wounds open up, feeling the warm blood as it slides down my body. My t-shirt soaks up with blood and it sticks to my skin because of the dampness.
Mara, finally satisfied, stops hitting me and moves back to her navy couch. She leaves me laying there crying, my back and heart sore.
I try to get up, but I continually slip on my blood. My mother watches me as I do this, her eyes cold and vicious. You'd swear she wanted to get up and finish me.
I finally stand up, trying to balance myself as much as I can. Everything around me looks like it is melting, fading away and spinning. My eyes struggle to stay open as I stand. My mother could see the buckle in my step.
I erect my head to look at my mother, who is still watching me. Probably angry because I still have some will in me. I won't let you break me.
I slowly make it up the stairs, thoughts of taking a bath run through my mind as I make my way up. Food is no longer a priority as I slowly walk. Blood trickles to the floor with each small step I take.
I make it to my room and take a bath. When I enter the bath, it feels like I'm being stung by thousands of bees. In a few seconds, the pain stops.
The water in the bath turns red immediately after my entrance. I spend hours in the bath, my eyes fixed on the red water as I make no movement. My mind not anywhere close to what I'm doing.
I exit the bath to take a shower, blood drops into the drain as I shower. I make it out of the shower way faster than I did the bath. I now take some time to move to the mirror and just stare.
Nothing has hit my face, and the wounds on my body are not so deep too. I only bled so much because there's so many of them. Damp black hair lies flat on my forehead, covering my emerald green eyes.
I dry myself up and get ready to sleep. I page through my phone to check my messages. One of them is from Sarah.
My heart dances in my chest as I open the text. My heart smiles and rejoices because she texted me first, it makes me know that she too wanted to talk to me. I spend a lot of time chatting with her, and when I'm about to sleep, I look outside.
The streets are so peaceful and quiet, not a single person walks by the street. The wind whistles as it passes by. The wind carrying a leaf with it; it doesn't blow it away hard and rough but soft and slow.
My eye catches a familiar shape as my eyes wander, seeing the same muscle car I had seen earlier. It is for the third time now that the car was in this street. I tap my nose as I look at the car with furrowed eyebrows. I know Josh would say it is just a coincidence, but I smell a dead rat.