CHAPTER 30 - The Mourning After
Elizabeth's POV
"Is everything ready, Ella?" I asked, looking down at the several different monitors in front of us. We were at the control room right now, making sure everything was ready. Manuella just nodded, as she pointed some things up on the monitors.
"Yes, we have installed better cameras on the entire outside perimeter as well as inside. All the cameras are equipped with infrared and night vision. We also have a pair of guards standing at each blind spot." She started, pressing different buttons that made the cameras flick to infrared, and then to green for the night vision.
"Our army is equipped with M16A4s and 45 millimetres Glock37s, as well as swords and knives for hand-to-hand combat. We have 15 snipers on the roof and trees, using SR25s." She continued, showing me the different weapons on top of the table.
I nodded slightly, looking down at them. I had given Ella full authority in choosing the weapons, and I was glad that I did because her choices were impressive indeed. Of course, it was a big investment, but it was nothing if it meant our survival. Our safety was all that mattered now.
"Our first plan is to confuse them as much as we can about our races, which means, no transformation during battle unless necessary. We need to rely on basic training, martial arts and marksmanship." She added.
"Finally, we have a search party in the forest and we implanted movement detectors and land mines at the entrance. They'll be in for a surprise." She finished, professionally. I smiled at her, even though my chest still felt hollow.
"What of our armour?" I asked. She promptly nodded, before pulling up a big box onto the table and showing me the contents.
"We didn't have to improve much on what we already had, the only thing we had to invest in were the bulletproof vests." She answered. I nodded, looking down at the armour, with my jaw slightly clenched.
"Great, I expect her to attack soon, it's been a week since..." I trailed off, not really knowing how to finish that sentence.
Ella just nodded, in understanding. Even though I tried to hide it, they all noticed. They all noticed I was broken. But there was nothing I could do about it now. There was nothing anyone could do. I just sighed deeply and turned on my heels as I left the room, without another word.
I was planning to go to my room, but being there brought back too many memories, and I couldn't afford to think about her. Not now, not after what I did. So I just sighed and went back to my office, as I had been sleeping in there for the past week.
No one in the house actually noticed what was going on inside my old deranged self, no one except Sophia of course. I had put on a tough face. After all, I couldn't afford to look weak, not when we were about to go into battle. I hadn't cried since the day... I closed my eyes tightly, I couldn't even think about it. I just wanted to die. Life wasn't worth living anymore.
I walked slowly, closing the door to my office as I got in. I was exhausted, although I was fairly sure I wouldn't be able to sleep. I wasn't really being able to lately. I had maybe gotten a few hours of sleep this week, and it was certainly taking its toll.
I walked slowly towards the couch, and lay down, planning on getting some sleep, or at least trying to. But I wasn't getting my hopes up, because every time I closed my eyes, all I could see were flashes of that night.
"I saw it in her eyes when I said I loved her. I saw that she loved me too and that she would do anything for me. I saw the indescribable happiness that lit up her eyes, and that only broke me even more. I wanted to run away. I didn't want to be there, to be the one doing it. But I had no choice, she wouldn't want anyone else if she could choose.
I just hoped that she would be able to understand me. And maybe even forgive me, wherever she went. Because if I had any choice, I wouldn't be doing this. I just needed to follow the laws, and unfortunately, she had got caught in the middle of it. And I wouldn't be able to spare her, just because of my selfish desires. That was not what a leader did.
I took a long breath, as I felt my fangs slide down my gums, to their full length. And then, just like that, I bit her. My teeth ripped her soft skin so easily as if it was made of butter, her blood flew to my mouth almost instantly and I had to force myself not to moan at her taste.
That made me hate myself even more, how could I be enjoying this? It was like her blood sent me in a trance. I had never tasted anything like it, and I didn't think I ever would again. She was unique, in each and every aspect. And I was about to lose her, forever.
I couldn't control my tears, as they fell down my cheeks. I wanted to stop, I really did, but I knew I couldn't, I knew that if I didn't do it, someone else would and they would make it much worse. At least I could do it gently. At least she would die in my arms. In the arms of someone that loved her.
I realized that I was still crying copiously, and my tears were now falling down my cheeks, to Eve's skin. But I didn't make any effort to hold them in. My life would end at the same time as hers. And I wasn't ashamed of crying because of that.
I pressed her tightly against the bed when she started squirming and screaming under me, trying my best to keep her quiet. I needed her to stay still. It would hurt less if she did. Although I knew she couldn't, her instincts were already taking over and she was starting to try to get away from my grip.
I just held her down, because as much as she tried, she wouldn't be able to fight me. I was still much stronger, and I would always be. I breathed deeply, still draining her, swallowing her blood in mouthfuls.
Ever so slowly, I felt her starting to get weaker and her heartbeat decreased. I kept drinking from her as her arms fell limp on each side of my bed, listening as her heart rate became lower and lower until I could no longer hear it beating. And it seemed that at the moment, mine stopped as well, my chest felt hollow.
I detached my fangs from her neck and looked down at her, my eyes still blurred by tears. Her eyes were closed, and her mouth was hanging a little open, her lips purple and her skin white as snow. She looked peaceful like she could be asleep. But I knew that that wasn't the case. I would never see her waking up again, and that destroyed me.
Her lifeless still body looked back at me and I could do nothing but look away. I couldn't bear looking at her. I couldn't bear to think about what I had done. So I just I ran out of my room, with only my nightgown, my mouth was still stained with her blood, that slithered in small crimson lines down my chin. I just tried to run as far as I could. I had just killed the love of my life"
"Beth? Beth!" I felt a strong slap on my shoulder, bringing me back into reality.
I immediately sat up, sweating and panting, my chest aching like someone had just ripped my heart through my open ribcage. I then looked up, my palm against my chest, only to see Sophia looking worriedly down at me.
"Are you okay? Did you have the dream again?" She asked, softly touching my shoulder.
I didn't answer, I didn't know if I could even if I tried. I just buried my head in my hands, closing my eyes forcefully as I tried hard not to cry. I felt the couch tilting lightly, as Sophia sat beside me, and gently caressed my back. I started to shake in place, it just hurt too much.
"Beth, please, you need to compose yourself. I know you're going through hell right now. But we're about to go to war." She said lowly, as she tried to reason with me. I just nodded slightly, trying to lift my head up.
"I know, you're right. I'm sorry, the dream just startled me a little." I said, breathing deeply as I attempted to brush it off.
There was nothing I could do about it now. I slowly got up, feeling my legs shake lightly, but still doing my best to put my usual cold mask on. I couldn't afford to look weak now. Sophia followed me, as she squeezed my arm softly.
"You can talk to me. You know that, don't you?" She asked caringly. I sighed deeply.
"What is there to talk about? She's dead! She's fucking dead Sophia! I killed her! I hate myself for it but what's done is done!" I shouted, turning back towards her, as once again my vision was blurred by tears. Why me? I had lost so much already, why did I have to lose her too? I loved her so much, and now, she was gone.
"Beth..." She started, but couldn't complete her sentence, as she didn't have anything to say. She knew that nothing she'd say would make me feel better.
There was basically no hope for a Vampire that lost their mate. And as I had already admitted before, Eve was my mate, as much as I tried to deny it. I had imprinted on her, and the strong scent of roses that still trailed off my skin, even though she was dead, was enough proof of that. But I couldn't afford to think about that now.
Because in the end, I knew that Sophia was right, I couldn't keep letting my personal problems interfere with my reign. I had to stay strong. I had to fight. For my family, for my revenge. So that she hadn't died in vain. I had to fight. For the good of my people.