(YouTube played us so this is the best version I could find. The song used is Part II: On the Run by Beyoncé and Jay-Z. If there ever was a theme song for this book, to me, this is it.)
Matteo
I was soundly asleep with my arms wrapped around Kash when the small muffles of cries woke me up lightly. I let out a sigh as I rose up knowing it was only a matter of time before the small muffles turned into full on cries that would double shortly thereafter. I removed my arms from Kashera as she stirred lightly. She was out like a light and tired after giving birth only a few hours ago. As I looked quickly over her I couldn't help but to kiss her forehead. I loved the hell out of this woman who had given me life a year ago, and now given me two lives to call our own. She let out a soft sigh as she sank into the pillow, and I carefully got out of the bed.
As the cries increased I looked over the double bedded crib where the two little beings slept soundly- well where one slept soundly. I looked down at the handsome baby who somehow managed to not come out looking like an alien and picked him up as his fusses started to build. I settled him into my arms causing his crying to die down instantly as we stood over his sister who was still sleeping like her mother.
"Stefano why can't you sleep like Ci-ci, hmm, piccolo?" I questioned as I kissed him on the head as he stared up at me with wide blue eyes. Stefano Katrell Leone was the first born of the two, and already we could tell he was going to be an interesting little character. His eyes wandered everywhere when he wasn't glaring, and he loved to make his little whines when he wasn't eating. He was already the source of much of my pride and joy.
We decided to hold off on the genders much to everyone's dismay, so seeing them come out one by one was the most emotional thing I had been through in my life I was sure. When Stefano came out I almost grabbed him before they could clean him off good. I was so happy to see him I couldn't contain myself nor the tears to see my first born boy that filled me with more pride than I knew how to articulate. I anxiously awaited the arrival of the second boy with a shit-splitting grin ready to rub it in Kash's face that I was right as they took Stefano to finish cleaning and weighing him.
So when the doctor called out that the last addition was a little girl, I literally almost passed out.
Sienna Kaitlyn Leone had me to my knees and wrapped around her every little finger from the moment she cried. When I held her and saw her mothers eyes it took everything in me to not curse because I knew I was in for it. Kashera laughed her ass off when she saw how I was looking at her because she knew it, too. If her mama was spoiled, there wasn't a word known to man to describe what this little girl was going to be.
I couldn't wait to do it though, because in my mind if I set the bar to the sky I didn't have to worry about killing some poor bastard who thought he was going to date my little princess. She was cooing and observing everything and she loved to lay on me already. Everybody laughed at me with her, but she had all the Leone males and Marcus hooked too.
With a sigh I took a seat on the couch and stretched back as I looked down at Stefano who was wide awake looking at me as he sucked on his little fingers.
"I'm so happy to have you and your sister, piccolo. You don't even know anything about this crazy world you just entered and you are already the most beloved being to exist in it," I spoke to him softly in Italian. "You're Nonno and Nonna did so good raising me, and I don't know how I'm going to raise you better than them, but I'm going to do it. You've only met her for a little while but you have the most loving mother you'll ever see," I said looking into his eyes. I looked over to Kash sleeping briefly and when I came back to him his little mouth had twisted up just enough making me chuckle.
He really did though. These past few months of her pregnancy were interesting to say the least. Kash was more clinging to me than she'd ever been, but despite what some people thought I loved it. After I got arrested and faced looking at a life where I wouldn't be with her at all, having her all to myself around me was nothing short of comforting. Besides, after she was kidnapped I developed a slight anxiety about having her out of my proximity. I got anxious beyond what was reasonable whenever she wasn't near by, and I amped her security as close to the max as I could get away with just for her to go up the street. The majority of her second trimester was spent with us learning how to overcome our slight traumas of the past, and dutifully working to make sure we could sustain a healthy future.
It was one of the hardest things we ever had to do, but sitting here now I could see it would all be worth it. She had been such a warrior through giving birth to our kids, and I fell even more in love with her with every determined push she gave, and every tired breath: even every hand squeeze that threatened to sever me. To see the look in her eyes as she held them in her arms was to know that those kids would never go a day questioning the love their mother would have for them and the means she'd go through to ensure their happiness. I couldn't have been more blessed to have her as my wife or the mother of my kids.
"I take it you figured that out already huh? As much as you used to kick and move when you heard her voice you'd better have. She's so amazing, and she loves you so much. One day you'll wake up and realize how lucky you got in that department. We both did, because without her I wouldn't know I could love you like I do. I'm going to do everything I possibly can to protect you and your sister. I promise you'll get to live your own life, make your own choices, and be the man you want to be. I just want you to be happy, and so long as I can help it you will be," I told him and he looked at me before letting out a little gurgle as he wiggled making me chuckle.
"I love you, too bambino," I said as I lifted him to me and kissed his face. I brought him down to my chest as I stretched back on the couch and closed my eyes hoping he'd let us both fall back into the comfort of sleep until his sister awoke soon enough.
Six Months Later
I waited quietly behind the closed door of the small parlor room. It was fairly silent on this part of the mansion we were currently seated in and through the crack of the door, I could just faintly make out who was walking by. I had been waiting for around five minutes, and I knew within the next one who I was waiting for would be shuffling by confused as ever. I looked out the crack as her footsteps approached. As soon as she got by the door, I reached out covering her mouth and pulling her into the door as she screamed into my hand. I pulled her into the room, kicking the door shut behind me.
"If you bite me, you're gonna walk down the aisle with quite the mark on your neck," I whispered and she instantly relaxed into me. Once I released her, she turned swiftly and smacked me in the chest making me laugh.
"Matteo what the fuck!" She hissed crossing her arms. I walked to her and pushed her back into the door before I reached behind and sealed the lock. I'd slyly managed to get my hands on her wedding planners phone and shot off a text to meet here at this time and delete it from view in record time. I hadn't seen her in hours and I literally couldn't take it knowing she wasn't too far away.
"Interesting you say that word," I mumbled as I began kissing down her neck making her squirm lightly underneath me.
"Are you crazy? Do you know what all we have to do today?" She hissed as she weakly pushed against me. I took her hands into my my own against the door and looked down at her biting my lip and roaming my eyes over her.
"Oh, I'm perfectly sane. You walking around in these little ass shorts, however? Now that's crazy," I reprimanded with a tisk as I pressed myself into her making her eyes snap shut. "What in the hell where you thinking?" I pressed. She met my eyes with a challenge looming within them as she smirked.
"That I'm grown as hell, and I can do whatever I want," She said rolling her eyes.
"Oh really now? I thought you figured out that in some context that doesn't work," I asked as my hand dropped from her and down her neck before resting at the base and squeezing.
"Yes really. It does work when it gets me what I want," She said back quickly as her hand went to the one squeezing her neck and pressing making my grip tighten underneath her gentle hand. She was so nasty, and I loved every bit of it. I leaned down over her running my lips up her neck nipping lightly which made her heart race.
"And what is it you want?" I asked kissing over her face and over to the corner of her mouth.
"You, but we don't have much time," She whined and I chuckled. She had as much time as I said we had.
"Then that's what you'll have," I said before capturing her lips slowly in my own. Her mouth opened and let my tongue wrap around her own eliciting a deep moan from her as we kissed against the door. I lifted her leg around my waist as her hands took to tugging my hair. I let my hand around her neck slip down over her body teasingly before reaching her panties. I bit down on her lip with a glare when I felt the string of the fabric she called underwear underneath them.
"I'm going to fuck you up one day. What are these?" I hissed pulling at them and she whimpered. It was what I thought they were underneath these little ass shorts I was going to bend her over and spank her even though she'd like it more than anything else.
"It's a g-string. I promise you'll like it," She whined as she distractingly ran her hand expertly into my sweats and over my hard length. I let out a breath as my mind blanked for a moment as she squeezed me teasingly. Her lips encased the bottom of my ear before her teeth. "Go to the couch," She said and pulling back I did as told pulling her with me.
She pushed me back onto the couch but she pulled back when I tried to pull her down over me. She kissed me before pulling back with my bottom lip snugged sinfully in-between her teeth. With a giggle she walked back swaying her hips with every movement as she turned slowly around. I gave her a leveled look as I took in how short the black satin shorts were in the back, but nonetheless I was more than aroused by the view. Especially when she made a show of taking them off.
What I wasn't ready for was what was beneath them, or the lack thereof, that made me suck in a harsh breath. She spread her legs as she let the shorts drag down over her ass and down to her thighs. I couldn't even call the g-string underwear as they were simply a snug fitting piece of black string with the reflection of stones on the sides. But once they were over the tops her thighs as she bent forward, I couldn't stop the moan of a curse from falling from my lips if I tried as I adjusted suddenly on the edge as I stared at her.
"Merda, bambina. What the hell," I groaned as I stared at her exposed thick glistening lips that were snug between the strips of fabric that ran down the sides getting lost between her thighs. I raised my hips and took out my uncomfortably hard dick and began to stroke myself at the sight of her show. With a deep chuckle of her own that sent my head spinning she flipped her hair and looked over her shoulder winking at me as she shook her ass in my face. She bit her lip and let her eyes rake over me.
"You like it, daddy?" She asked stepping out of the shorts, but taking her time coming back up. As she turned back to face me, I all but came seeing the small patch of lace in the center of the piece that was all held together by the metal circle that held a cursive monogrammed M in the center.
"Fucking love it. Come here," I said lowly and she made her way to me. She climbed atop me and instantly kissed me with every ounce of feverish dirty intent seeping through it. I let my hands roam down to her sides, and just as she pulled away to breath I moved her by the waist to lie across me making her gasp in shock. Firmly, but still being careful, I took her hair in my grip and pulled as she arched up with a moan.
"Teo, what the-"
"Shut up. I love these so much, but you really were walking around in them where anybody could see you. Absolutely not," I said while rubbing her behind before swiftly sending a smack to it after I spoke. She jumped as her hand reached out to the arm of the small sofa grabbing it as she moaned highly. I looked down at my hand and smirked at the glistening wetness on the tips of my fingers.
"I only did it once, and you're already so wet. You are such a dirty little vixen," I whispered as I bent down over into her ear before hitting her other cheek. "But you're my little vixen. Only mine," I said biting her ear as I alternated again making her moan uncontrollably.
"Oh my Goodness. Tu mi farai venire (you're going to make me cum)," She cried out lowly making me moan as I felt her wetness spread on my thighs. I gave her two slaps that made her quiver beneath me until I rubbed on her reddened skin.
"Meglio di no. Aspetta (You better not. Hold it)" I demanded. I ran my hand down into her weeping heat and teasingly stuck a finger in as I kissed her. She was quick to grind herself onto my fingers in a desperate need. I took them out quickly and went back to alternating until her moans got loud enough to where I had to cover her mouth.
"Sborra (cum)," I demanded in her ear and she quivered before she did. Her muffled cries slipping past my hand before I released her and let them ring out into the air as they quieted down. As her quivering subsided I eased her back up to me, and she quickly rose up on her knees as she kissed the fuck out of me with her hand gripping my throat and tilting my head up to her.
I let my hands sink down to her exposed behind and her seeping tight cavern that I couldn't wait to sink into. All her moans and wetness had me on the brink, and I knew I was a ticking time bomb. I stroked her before circling her clit with the pads of my fingers making her moan into my mouth. Eventually, she pulled away and took me into her hands. Slowly she guided her hands up and down making my jaw clinch before she twirled her hips atop the tip.
"You want me?" She asked her voice in a deep whisper that shook my senses. I looked at her nodding my head prompting her to shake hers disapprovingly.
"Dimmi (Tell me)" She demanded and I moaned as she teasingly let the tip sink inside.
"Fottimi (Fuck me)," I challenged back as I smacked her ass making her moan before she sank down onto me with a gasp.
"With pleasure," She said, the cockiness seeping in a lustful lull of her voice as she sank completely on me and I took a moment to gather myself. I didn't know what the hell type of magic she was using on me, but I was completely consumed underneath her touch and buried insider her dangerous heat as her walls gripped me like an erotically shattering vice whose deadly confines I never wanted to leave. She twirled her hips gaining speed with every wind up she took as her moan filled my ears. While her waist floated her over my length like the most fluid body of water she took hold of the back of the couch with one hand.
"Vuoi che ti scopi così?(You want me to fuck you like this?)" She said as she tightened her hand on my throat. She liked having control when I let her, and I loved giving it to her from time to time because when I did it was always more than phenomenal what she could do to me. This was her payback for me spanking her even though she loved it. Despite my knowledge, just to tease her as I felt myself slipping to her vices I smacked her ass hard again making her gasp in shock, but I felt the delicious squeeze of her threatening to take us both over the edge. I brought her closer to me as we locked eyes: My surely dark blues and her tear filled browns.
"You like riding me like this huh? With this little string gripping my little gattina?" I coerced her making her whimper with a nod. "Of course you do. Now let me hear you," I demanded.
"Yes. Yes, yes" She called out speeding up as my fingers circled her sensitive nerves. She flipped her hair over and slowed as she planted her feet on the couch and moved her hands behind my neck on the cusp of my shoulder. I shook my head knowing she was about to send me spiraling. She eased up before she began bounce on my length with a fever that made me moan out without any resolve to hold out. With the expert twirl of her hips as she squeezed me, I couldn't do a thing but throw my head back.
"Fuck, Kash, you're gonna make me cum," I hissed as my hands dug into her ass and she moaned into my ear.
"Matteo," She moaned in my ear and I blinked hard trying to remember how to talk.
"Yes, gattina?"
"I love you," She said sucking on my ear as she slowed down to a lethal whine making me snap. I sank back tugging her hair and began meeting her thrust for thrust.
"You love me?" I growled in her ear and she moaned out a yes as we sped up reaching our ends.
"Yes! Fuck yes. Come in me, please!" She cried as she began to shake around me. I looked up at her pleasure stricken face as our sounds mingled together before she approached her end.
"Show me how much you love me," I demanded in a soft Italian that sent her spiraling.
"Teo!" She called out as she came over me and I fell down along side her seeing white dots flashing behind my eyes at how it had me shaking underneath her.
"I love you, bambina," I moaned through my powerful release. My rough continuous thrust and the feel of my release inside her sent her spiraling into another orgasm. I quickly had to cover her mouth as she started to scream with a smirk on my face as I guided her through it, and I reveled in the aftermath of my own. She folded over on me groaning tiredly and I chuckled as I kissed the side of her face.
"Come on, la Mia vita. I'm trying to see you down the aisle as soon as I can," I said and she laughed into my neck before kissing me there sweetly with a content sigh.
Kashera
"I'm getting married. I'm getting married," I sang dancing obnoxiously side to side as Brooklyn tried to secure the tiara on my head in the mirror.
"You're goofy ass is not gone make it down the aisle if you don't sit still for two seconds! Damn!" Brooklyn yelled making me smack my lips while my mother laughed. I sat still though so she could secure the tiara on my head, and Mama took my stillness as a chance to adjust the top of my dress again. Mama Alina came out of the bathroom fully dressed making me smile.
"Ooh Okay Mama, we see you," I said making her laugh as she shook her head before looking at the clock. She was adorned in a soft champaign colored dress that had a matching quarter length sleeves jacket. The dress ran down just below her knees in its strategically fitted chiffon fabric.
"Thank you baby. Now where in the hell is that little girl with my nipoti (grand babies)! The boys have had them for almost an hour and a half!" She said shaking her head, and I gave her a look. The boys included Matteo, Papa, Clementine, and Marcus: otherwise known as the only group of men I've ever known to fight over babies. They were constantly into it over who got to hold who and when, and it was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever seen in my life regardless of how cute it could be from time to time.
Or maybe all the time I just didn't want to admit it.
"You know they spent an hour of that time arguing over who was going to hold who," Brooklyn noted making us all laugh.
"Not a lie was told. They're crazy," My mama said as she finished me off. Standing I blew her a kiss and she winked at me as she twirled in her halter neck dress that ran beautifully down to the floor. It was champaign colored as well, but had a sheer overlay atop its base that was swirling with gold embroidery. With her hair pulled back, she looked absolutely breath taking. I prayed like hell that I aged like her.
"You don't have to brag like this! We get it! You don't look a day over 30," I said smiling as she posed feeling herself, and Brooklyn quickly cosigned.
"I know that's right! But I don't blame you Mommy. Go ahead and get you a man while you're here!" She said serious as a heart attack making us all laugh while she finished adjusting the last touches of my hair.
Finally, after six months of trying not to lose my mind I was having my fairytale wedding. It had been a year since we first got married legally, and we were finally going to walk down the aisle. We started planning for it after I had hit my eight week healing mark. It would've been six weeks but because of the cervical surgery I had to ensure I made it to term, it got bumped back. Once I was good to handle the stress of a wedding I threw myself into it since I wasn't working at the time.
We were on one of Marcé's properties in Tuscany and that was probably the easiest arrangement we'd made. Outside of that, I'd made sure to check off every item on Matteo's list that he ran down for me the day we signed our marriage license. I'd driven him crazy with details he was bound to not remember, I gave him hell for not remembering, and we fought at first about his outlandish idea of a budget that was essentially not a budget at all. I say at first because after the third time I caught an attitude about it he fucked my lights out and I never said a word about it again.
It was tough planning, and trying to not pull my hair out with two babies. It was the biggest blessing in the world to have Sienna and Stefano. They were without question my entire world, but I'd be a liar to say it wasn't hard. Matteo worked from home for the most part but he still had to go out. Overall, having him around made things easier than they would've been had he been completely on the go.
However, there were times where he'd have to leave out of town, and I had to part from his help. Luckily for me, I figured out fast that it wasn't bad to have a community around me. Between our parents and the loving aunt and uncle crew I never had to do anything alone. I sometimes was ready to burst into tears at the amount of gratitude I had for them.
I was determined to be the best mom I could be to the twins. I wanted them to know without a doubt that they were loved, and they had parents who'd move mountains for them. I wanted them to always be affirmed in the values of family we'd put fourth in their lives and know that it wasn't just us who'd give them the world although we'd be the main ones. They had others around them who'd give their all to see them flourish. I was humbled in the life I had now. It wasn't perfect as there were still days I seemed to be pushed to my wits end, but those days never came close to the amount of all the good ones.
The moment Brooklyn finished my hair the door to the room opened up and I could hear their giggling little voices which made me smile.
"It took you long enough!" Mama called in Italian making me chuckled as I looked over to the side. "And why are you here, child?" She asked Marcus who was kissing on a laughing Sienna while Kat snuggled Stefano into her as he laid down chewing on his fingers- a bad habit of his that he couldn't seem to let go of no matter what we did.
She was already dressed in her soft gold colored dress that almost matched Brook's. While her dress was strapless, Brooklyn's dress had sleeves that draped down to the floor around the middle of her forearm as she felt the need to be the extra maid of honor that she was.
"My pooh-bear didn't want to leave her favorite uncle so I came," He said as if was the most obvious thing in the world. "Besides, I'm walking her down so it's not like I'm going back to snitch on what she looks like. It's not like your mama looks any different from her normal potato head self don't she, stink?" He said to Sienna and I glared at him.
"Get your ugly ass out of my room!" I demanded but he shrugged me off.
"I'm good. Besides them other clowns hogged her for too long. You know they had the nerve to not want me to hold Stef first like that child is not named after me? I almost hurt somebody. You better tell them about me Stef," He said as Stefano looked at his uncle laughing threw his chewing as if he actually understood the foolishness coming from his mouth.
"Whatever. Y'all do this every time. Leave so we can ready, and make sure the boys are ready to head out!" Katerina called as she grabbed Ci-Ci who instantly got fussy. She loved her uncles and to be parted was to bring about a fit. That didn't even factor in how she acted when somebody dared to take her from Matteo.
"Oh stop it, bunny. Here go to mommy for a second," she told her as she handed me my twin whose cries died down instantly and her mouth twisted into a sassy little grin when she hit my arms.
"I knew you weren't crying over a thing pumpkin," I said as I kissed her making her giggle. She was cute as a button in her white dress that was composed of an eyelet patterned top and tulle bottom. It gathered in the middle with a gold sequin ribbon that tied into a large bow in the back. Her little ruffled socks and white hard bottoms covered her little feet. I fixed the two gold and white bows that sat in front of her puffs, and I couldn't help but smile brightly at how perfect of a little girl I popped out.
Sienna was such a daddy's girl it wasn't even remotely funny, but she still loved her some me. She better have since I was the one who fed her. Sienna Kaitlyn was all me much to my delight, and her fathers detriment. She was a little drama queen who already knew that all she had to do was cry and she'd have her daddy on his knees. Like mother like daughter was what I always said.
"Alright bride! Let's get this zipped so we can go," Brooklyn said. I nodded as I handed Sienna over to her Nonna much to her delight. Once she zipped me up and Katerina did one more pass over the front of my dress everybody started gasping. I went to the mirror to look at myself and I had to look up to keep from crying.
"Kashera Leone you better not!" Brooklyn reprimanded even though she'd beaten me to tears which helped nothing.
"I'm trying!" I whined.
I took a breath before I twirled gently in the mirror smiling. The white lace embroidered mermaid fitted dress came off the shoulders and went down into a slightly deep sweetheart neckline. Attached at the hips was a slightly layered satin and lace train that I adored with its subtle sparkles and detailed embroidery. The dangling diamond earrings showed though my long curls which were slightly pulled back at the top to fit the tiara atop my head that attached to my veil that flowed simply down the back of my head. I was in love with how it all came together.
"Oh my baby! You look gorgeous. Are you going to keep the train on?" My mom asked as she came beside me with a wide-eyed Stef.
"Thank you mommy, but no ma'am. When the late night hits and the kids leave I'm about to show my-" I started before I bent over to shake my behind, "Ass." I finished and she rolled her eyes while Brooklyn and Katerina cosigned me laughing in heavy agreement.
"Hell yeah! Actually. Can you not show it too much because if you show your ass you'll come back home pregnant again and I'm not watching three kids," Brooklyn said making me scoff as I shot her a look. It was too late for me to hold back that much. I thought as my mind flashed back to this morning making me shake my head.
"You also said you weren't watching one, but who is constantly fighting to watch them on the weekends Matteo and I have our dates?" I resorted back smartly.
"Why are you always bringing up old shit?" She asked giving me a stink face and I poked my tongue out at her.
"Your mama and aunty are so ridiculous, pooh," My mom spoke to Stef and he laughed as he reached for me. Smiling I grabbed him up quickly kissing on his handsome face.
"Hey papa. You missed me?" I asked him and he laughed as he held my face in his little hands. He was wearing a white and black suit that I knew he'd keep clean just long enough for us to make it through this ceremony. I loved looking at my baby boy. He was his fathers child with his more than similar looks. His blue eyes sat wide on chubby cheeks and his soft brown hair grew darker by the day though not much. He also sometimes displayed his father's rude mannerisms, but he was a mama's boy and I loved it.
He and Ci-Ci were definitely fraternal twins as they didn't look exactly alike. While my little pumpkin Sienna looked like I copy and pasted her minus her slightly lighter complexion, Stefano was light as day and looked every much like Matteo except he had my nose and chubby face like his sister. They were both the most beautiful angels I could've ever asked for. I was completely obsessed with them, and the love I had for them was the most overpowering yet motivating thing I'd ever experienced in my life.
"Let's do this everyone!" Katerina exclaimed and we gathered up everything we needed to make it outside to the ceremony.
Walking into the foyer that led to the back courtyard facing away from the water, I looked outside gripping onto my bouquet to see the long aisle that awaited me. Katerina, Brooklyn, and Clem were already outside waiting with the twins in tow. The last few stangling guest were shuffling down the path to get to their seats on the other side of the fountain. The first fountain awaited me down the path covered by the arches of white gladiolus flowers with pink and pale yellow roses scattered throughout them. I took a deep breath not knowing why I was so nervous. I'd already made it a year, but maybe it was just the nerves of the event more so that the marriage itself. Before long I felt Marcus' hand on my back.
"You ready to go?" He asked and I looked up at him nodding softly. He wore a black tux that fitted his buff frame more than well. He'd recently cut his hair so that the soft line up with his curly black hair chopped close to his head emphasized his handsome face. His last year had shaped him out in every way. He was lighter in spirit, and no longer carried the weight of a gang on his shoulders. I was proud of the man he was, and at last he was, too.
"Don't look nervous now. You've waited a year too late for you to get cold feet," He teased making me laugh.
"Shut up. I know that, but I feel this weird sense of calm and my mind is trying to find something wrong with that. I should be all nerves in my mind, but honestly in my heart and soul I feel at peace," I admitted quietly. Before I knew it he pulled me into a hug to which I gladly returned.
"I'm proud of you and the woman you've become. I may have never told you, but he knows that I think he's the most perfect man for you that I could've ever ask for," he admitted making me look up at him a bit shocked to which he smiled. I'd noticed that they'd become much better with each other, friends even, but I thought it was because of the twins. I never knew that much had been said.
"It's true. You're calm because you know that man is everything you will ever need. You don't have to question him, his loyalty, his faithfulness, his commitment to being your husband, or his abilities to be a good dad. He's literally shown you in every regard that even if he isn't perfect at something, he will damn sure try. I may be handing you off officially today, but you've been his for a while now. I've been a soundly content knowing that you and my little munchkins will always be taken care of. Don't sweat a thing, Kay. I have not a doubt in my mind that y'all will make it. If y'all don't I'm committing to priesthood because it ain't no hope for me," He said serious as a heart attack.
I was trying not to cry so I laughed before hugging him again.
"I love you. Thank you for always being there and never giving up on me. For being my father figure when I didn't have one. No matter what I'm always going to need you. Besides, it's only a matter of time you put your big boy pants on and finally wife up the woman who should've been your damn date," I said to him cheekily making him sigh out an "oh my God" before he pulled me off of him making me laugh.
"See there you go messing up a perfectly good moment. Let's go," He said grabbing my arm while I tried my damndest to stop laughing at him being a punk about committing to the woman who had him wrapped around her every finger.
We were waiting to walk down the aisle behind Katerina. She escorted the twins who wanted to do everything but their jobs as ring bearer and flower girl which brought a smile to my face. It was a good thing that Loren and Regina's kids had come in behind them to pick up the slack looking as cute as ever. Taking a deep breath I squeezed Marcus' arm as we began to walk. With everybody standing I couldn't see Matteo until we rounded the corner, and when I did I almost collapsed into a pool of tears.
Heaven help me he was handsome.
I tuned everybody out as I just looked at him standing there immaculately dressed down in a white suit with a black bow tie. He smiled brightly at me and I couldn't do anything but smile back like a love-sick school girl as we walked over the gold inscribed L monogram in the center of the flower covered aisle. In no time we were standing in front of the marble steps and preacher giving me away. Matteo took my hand with a happy smile on his face as we walked up the the steps and underneath the gold and white open metal canopy that was filled with flowers like the ones that made the arches down the aisles.
As the preacher spoke and we held hands my mind was stuck between him and running through my vows a thousand times over.
"Kashera?" The preacher laughed and I blinked before coming to.
"Oh shit, my bad! I mean sorry," I said making the poor man blush as I apologized. Matteo all but fell over with laughter along with everyone else.
"I knew I looked good, but damn," He asked cheekily and I glared sticking my tongue out.
"Shut up. I'm trying to do these vows if you would let me," I said with a sweet enough voice that made everyone laugh again.
"You're lucky you're cute," he said with a knowing smile as I glared as I discreetly flipped him off for calling my sexy ass cute making him laugh. I couldn't help but smile before shaking it off. I took a deep breath, and on a whim as I looked at his smiling face threw out everything and spoke from my heart.
"So I had a nice little vow set up but then before I walked out here, and now as I look at you, I've had an epiphany of sorts regarding why I feel so calm and at peace about marrying you," I said softly but still loud enough to be heard, "I realized that you are my comfort and my peace. When we first met, I was so scarred of how I felt about you because you were everything I had ever prayed for.
I figured out that you can pray for something time and time again, and still not have clue about how to accept the blessing you prayed for once it's bestowed to you. You and me are a living testament to that, but we are also a living testament to what happens when you're willing to open yourself up to the blessing instead of pushing it away.
I didn't know I could love like this until I loved you. I still don't see how I manage to love you like I do and not burst every day, but I don't question it. I just accept it and let that love settle over me in the most comforting blanket I've ever had gifted to me.
Matteo Aline I vow to be by your side through sunny days, and I vow to be your source of peace when there is a storm raging at your door. I vow to be the best mother to our beautiful kids, and I vow to be your shield whenever you three need me to protect you just as you protect us. And most importantly I vow to love you through anything and more than anything with no limitations. Sei tutto ciò che ho sempre desiderato e tutto ciò di cui potrei mai aver bisogno. ti amo (You are everything I've ever wanted, and everything I could ever need. I love you)," I said smiling proud of the fact I'd only shed a few tears. I giggled as I wipped his face where a few of his own tears had beat his efforts to stop them.
Taking a deep breath as he held my hands firmly he spoke.
"I don't even like talking, but I could spend an eternity talking about you and how much I love you," He said as he kissed my hand.
"The truth is that I don't possibly know what I could've prayed for that got me you. I don't know what it is I did to deserve you either, but I've learned to not question it. Instead I wake up and look at you completely grateful for the opportunity I get to love you and call you mine. You are everything to me, Tesoro, and I can do nothing but thank you.
Thank you for loving me as you do. For supporting me as you do. When I question if I'm worthy enough, you love harder for us both until I can get back on track and see reason. I always thought I would be the sole protector of my family until the day I met you. You are a protector, a provider, and an anchor of love and peace in every aspect of my life. Lord knows how much I'm thankful and in awe of you as a mother. You give so much of yourself to Sienna and Stefano that they already know the power of your love. They'll never know what it means to brave anything alone simply by the merit of your commitment to them. You are perfection if I ever saw it.
I vow to always love you with everything in me and whatever is after that. I vow to work to show you everyday how much you mean to me no matter how good or bad the days are. I vow to protect you and our family until my last fighting breath. I promise to alway be there to uplift you whenever you feel weak, and alleviate your fears whenever you feel scarred. I vow to be the best father I can to our kids, even the ones not here yet," He slid in with a wink making me roll my eyes as everyone chuckled and ooh knowingly while Clem and Brooklyn could be heard making gagging sounds off to the side of us.
"And most importantly I vow to love you through anything and more than anything. Sei la cosa migliore che mi sia mai capitata. Sei il mio mondo e ti amo più della vita stessa (You are the best thing to ever happen to me. You are my world and I love you more than life itself)," he vowed.
The preacher called for the rings and Brooklyn and Clem handed them to us. As we slid on our rings and said I do we were grinning at each other excitedly as if we hadn't already been at this a year. It was something renewing about this moment that made me happy for our future.
"Ladies and gentleme, I now formally introduce to you Mr. and Mrs. Matteo Leone," He said and with a smirk on his face he pulled me to him and cupping my face he kissed me senseless as I held onto him for dear life.
The sun was setting into a blissful orange and purple behind the water and I couldn't help but to be in awe as I looked from over the brick wall on the back end of the estate where the reception was being held. The white theme of the wedding caught the light perfectly on the table and glass chandeliers hanging above us underneath the spare linen tent. I was happy beyond belief, a bit tired, but happy nonetheless.
"What are you doing back here away from your own wedding?" Messiah called out making me throw my head back in laughter. I turned to see her, Regina, Kat, and Brooklyn approaching. They lined up beside me on the wall and we overlooked the water with Messiah hanging onto one arm, and Brooklyn standing close on the other.
"Nothing, I've danced so much I think my feet want to detach themselves. Besides do you see this view?"
"Fair point. After that dance with Marcé you disappeared on us, so we came to rescue you," Regina said and we all chuckled. I was grateful for them. These strong resilient women I got to have as friends throughout all of this.
"Regina?" I asked her as we all looked over the cliff and out to where the sun touched the reflective waters.
"Yes?" She replied happily.
"How long have you and Loren been married?" I asked looking at her. She laughed looking down before turning her gaze to me.
"Is that the prelude to the real question you want to ask?" She challenged lightly with a knowing glance. "But I'll answer it all the same."
"It is. You caught me."
It was something about watching them as of late that made me wonder what it would take to have that. A love that withstood all the chaos that this life we lived endured without leaving a noticeable track. To look at Loren and Regina was to look at what I wanted life to be. She wasn't that much older than us. In fact she was only 38. Yet if you listened to her, felt the presence of her, you'd think she was a 60 year old trapped in the wrong body.
To see her and Loren was the same way. I knew they'd been together for a while, but they loved each other like kindred spirits who'd known each other through a thousand lifetimes: all-knowing and easy. There was a movement to them. An energy that made me smile in awe of all they were, and I couldn't help but wonder how long it would take and what it would mean for Matteo and I to make it to that.
"I guess the real question is how did y'all do it? How do you do it? Lord knows I know it's more than ever meets the eye but something about you two looks so easy. So worthwhile. I know in my heart Matteo and I will be okay. More than even, but I also look at the people married in our lives and wonder will our story result in us looking like them may it be good or bad," I pondered.
Messiah hummed beside me as she squeezed my arm, and I felt Brooklyn pat my hand before I turned my palm over to hold it as I looked down as a thoughtful Regina who was gazing between the horizon and myself.
"How has this first year felt for you? What are the feelings that defined it?" She asked.
"Clingy, enduring, hungry, pregnant," I noted making us all laugh at the end. Regina shook her head with an easy sigh leaning into the wall with her arms pitched across her body and over on to the wall clasping at her hands as she played mindlessly with her ring.
"Fair emotions," she noted, "Now let's be more specific. How did you feel with Matteo?" She said with emphasis. This time I thought about it. What did I feel?
"At peace. Scarred to mess up, but encouraged by that fear to be my best self for him a he is for me. I felt safe, and I felt more loved that I've ever been. I was happy. For as crazy of a start our marriage had the rest has been worthwhile," I said In confident wistful succession.
"Loren and I didn't get married until later on in our relationship. We felt that when the time was right we would do it. Regardless of the rules, in my heart I knew with him I was safe. That was the first time I ever felt that way in my life," she said looking over to the side with a smile on her face. I looked over to see Loren and their daughter dancing around between the tables and I chuckled at the sight.
"We've been married for thirteen years now," she said and I looked at her along with the others with an endearing smile on my face. "And every year has been a reaffirmation of what I felt in the first: Scared to lose it all, and determined to make sure I never did.
It hasn't been easy, but it looks like it because for every storm we go through the hardware gets cleaned and refurbished anew. On the inside you know what work it took to get that seamless look, but outside every one just sees the product of what making it through looks like. You and Matteo will be there soon. In many ways you already are. Trust yourself, sweetie. If anybody has this on lock it's you two. The love in his eyes and yours will never lie," she said and I smiled as she moved closer.
We were all wrapped up in one group hug and I felt myself getting emotional.
"Thank you, Regina," I said softly smiling at her, "and thank all four of you for being my friends through all this madness. I'm eternally grateful," I said truthfully.
"Stop it! I said I wasn't going to cry!" Messiah groaned.
"Anymore. Can't forget that key word," Kat threw in. Messiah flipped her off making us laugh. I'd had a stellar day, and a part of me was sad it was ending. The other side was excited as hell to disappear off to Paris for a week with Matteo as a honeymoon gift.
"As much as I hate to break this lovely sight up, Matteo is going to make me put him on his ass if you don't get back to him," Vercelis' voice rang out. I laughed as we all turned around and started to walk back to the floor. He wrapped his arm around Messiah as we walked back to the floor.
The moment he saw me he came and grabbed me in his arms as we went to the dance floor with everybody else. I laughed as he spun me around before shrill cries could be heard beside us. Sienna and Stef were both whining in my mother's and Papa's arms.
"Oh my loves why are you crying?" I cooed as I grabbed Steph and Matteo got a reaching Sienna with a laugh in one arm as he held onto me with another arm. They instantly stopped crying in our arms as everyone kept dancing and having fun. I smiled kissing Stef while Ci-Ci and Matteo laughed in each others faces, her little smile big enough to light up a room while she pressed her hands against her favorite person.
"Hi papa. You done being fussy?" I asked and he simply laughed. I shook my head as we rocked with each other singing through the song being played.
"Thank you," Matteo said suddenly as he looked down between the three of us.
"For what?" I asked curiously looking up at him underneath the soft light of the chandlers above us and the orange rays of the setting sun.
"For loving me. For giving me them. Everything you do and are," He said. Without thinking I leaned in to kiss him lovingly. Just as it was about to get good we both had hands shoving us away with whines of protest making everybody near us laugh as we did the same. I playfully glared at Sienna's pout as she leaned possessively onto Matteo, and Matteo stuck his tongue out at a smirking little Steph before we locked eyes and laughed at each other.
"Through anything included them, too, huh?" I asked and he smiled nodding as he leaned in again.
"I guess so. Imagine how this is going to get when the other one comes," He said smiling.
"You're ridiculous if you think that's happen before they're one" I laughed as he rolled his eyes playfully, "I love you, il mio tutto."
"I love you, too," he smiled down at me.
I leaned up and met him to steal another kiss. I smiled happily into it feeling blissfully fulfilled as we continued lovingly through this renewed start of our forever together: through anything.
-Fin-